Don't Feed After Midnight
Chapter 19
The elevator rumbled in it's shaft, and a moment later the doors slid open.
Dean glanced up from the door he was reattaching, wrench in hand.
Sam stood stiffly in the elevator cab.
"Dean, we have an issue with the prophet."
"Hey ya Sam," he greeted, "what's wrong with Kev' now."
"I am not Sam." Sam's eyes flashed blue and Dean stepped back in shock, dropping the wrench, it hit the floor with a clang.
"We have an issue with the prophet." The angel possessing his brother repeated again.
"Zeke, shit, a little warning next time."
"The prophet believes the presence inside this facility is one of my brethren.
It is not."
"Uh, good to know. So what the hell is it, and how do we kick it's ass."
"The prophet wishes to perform an angel banishing. This can not happen." Zeke continued doggedly. "Neither Sam nor I are strong enough to withstand such a thing."
"Yeah, yeah I get that. An' with heaven boarded up. Where the heck would you even go."
"Indeed," Zeke replied impassively. "Might I remind you also, that if Sam becomes aware of my presence, he will cast me out.
That must not happen.
I have done much to repair his autonomic nerve system, however, all of his other major organs are still damaged to the point that he would not survive my ejection."
"Yeah, no, not happening. Got ya! But this thing, you're sure it's not an angel?"
"It is not an angel, nor is it a demon.
I suspect, the demon Crowley may know what manner of creature it is."
"Seriously, the slimy sonofabitch, I knew he had a hand in this—"
"I believe the demon recognised the symbol, his surprise however, appeared to be genuine."
Dean let out a sigh, "okay lets go talk to Pervey Mc Pervison."
"I do not believe it would be wise for me to accompany you, Dean. As yet, the demon is unaware of my presence inside your brother. The more exposure there is, however, the greater the chance of discovery."
Message delivered, the angel riding Sam's body turned away and the elevator doors slid shut.
Dean shook his head, last thing he wanted to do was be in a room with Crowley. The fact that the little bastard had been getting his rocks off when he'd been attempting to torture answers out of him, made Dean's skin crawl.
But given recent events he could see how Kevin and Sam would think that the asshole prankster could be an angel. If Lucifer hadn't kabobed Gabriel he'd be looking for candy bar wrappers himself.
So, to stop Sam and Kevin doing something that would end with Sam flatlining, without a good reason, he was gonna needed another suspect. And that meant he was gonna have to suck it up and find a way to pry the info out of Crowley.
….
"Hello handsome, back for round two are we?"
A slow smile crawled over Crowley's face. There wasn't a mark on him; and the way the demon wetted his lips and gazed up from beneath lowered lashes, made Dean want to punch something or flee, both at once.
But that'd give Crowley the satisfaction, and Dean had learned long ago never to give slimy assholes like Crowley an inch, or they'd have you trapped up against a bathroom stall.
He stood firm and hoped the heat crawling up the back of his neck wasn't visible.
Dean turned away slowly, calmly, making a production of it, like Alistair had taught him, and placed the box he'd brought down on the tray. It was still wet and bloody from before.
Crowley arched a brow, "whats in the box Dean?
A new toy to spice up our relationship? I'm practically aquiver with anticipation."
Dean let the air leak slowly from his nostrils. "You never touched my car, but you know what did." He stated.
"Perhaps I do, perhaps I don't. By all means go ahead, try and make me tell. We both know which one of us will end with the greater level of satisfaction. But you never know, show me a good enough time, and I might spill.
All possible entendres intended."
Dean forced a smile through his gritted teeth. "You recognised the symbol."
"I did."
"You're going to tell me what it is, and what we're dealing with."
"I am, am I? Out of the goodness of my heart? Doesn't really sound like me, Dean."
"Out of the goodness of your heart? Nah.
But you're still gonna tell me, you wanna know why?
'Cause I've got you made." Dean started taking items out of the box and laying them out. Firstly a pair of battery clippers.
Crowley's eyebrows rose fractionally in surprise. "Oh Dean, I can assure you, the landing strip is already landscaped."
Dean didn't answer, he just took a can of shaving cream and a cheap disposable razor out of the box, laid them on the tray with a subtle click of plastic and metal on metal.
Sammy's iPod, headphones and a roll of duct tape were still in the box, but for now he left them there.
He picked up the clippers and turned back towards the demon.
Crowley was scowling in confusion.
"I found myself thinking, what would really hurt a douche bag like you, if you're such a sick sonofabitch you get off on what I did to you last time."
Crowley leaned back in the chair with a rattle of chains. "And you realised there's absolutely nothing. So you're going to go down on your knees," Crowley eyed him up and down slowly, like he was a piece of meat, "and beg…"
"Huh, not likely! See our trickster reminded me of somethin'. Cuts and bruises ain't the only thing that can hurt a man. Or Demon. Hurting the thing he cares about can actually cut deeper."
"Darling, you're forgetting, I'm a demon, I don't care about anything."
Dean scoffed in amusement, "Douche bags like you care. You like things a certain way, your expensive suits and dry clean only socks.
Your meat suit. Thinking it makes you better than the rest of us Jo's. The whole—" he waved the clippers dismissively, "smarmy business man image."
Crowley's eyes narrowed and the vertical lines in his brow cut deeper.
"So, the only thing I'm gonna hurt is the hairs on your head." He slid the switch on the clippers and they hummed into life. "I'm gonna shave off one of your eyebrows, and half of your hair. Shave it down smooth as a baby's butt.
I might even get creative. Then, I'm gonna go get Sam and Kevin. And they're gonna point and laugh and take a bunch of photos, maybe we'll even dress you in pink lace first. Kevin'll post those pictures on every message board and demon bathroom wall in God's creation. You'll be a laughing stock."
Crowley was jerking his arms against the shackles now, eyes anything but calm.
"I can get another suit!" He snarled.
Dean shrugged nonchalantly. "Sure, you could do that.
But, see, your minions know how fond you are of this one. And those photos, they'd still be out there, getting passed around. They'd be laughin' at you behind your back, Crowley. And how long would it be 'til they all start thinking. If a bunch of humans can make you their bitch…"
Crowley let out a bellow of rage, jerking against the chains like a maniac.
Arms crossed, Dean waited for him to calm down. Smirking.
"Seems to me that the asshole loose in the Bunker, messing up my car." He took a heavy step closer with the clippers, "means diddly squat to you, Crowley. So what's it gonna be."
"Bastard!" Crowley fumed impotently, his face screwed up in satisfying defeat.
Dean looked back at him, smirking.
"All right Dean. You're all hot and heavy to bend me over. But I want protection. I spill, what guarantee do I have you won't let your Angel obsessed hairdresser side lose on me anyway. None! We either make a deal…"
"No way. I'm not selling you my soul!"
"Dean, Dean, adorable Dean. I know all sorts of sexy tricks. Binding contracts, kinda my thing.
I like souls, sure.
They're the big ticket item. But I can work in less exotic unmentionables. Tit for tat scenarios. A promise for a promise, without all the unpleasant requirements for trust."
"I'm not freaking kissing you!" The thought made Dean's stomach clench in disgust.
Crowley eyed him up and down slowly and licked his lips. Something that made Dean think of the weird dudes at truck stops who'd offer him candy as a kid.
Crowley smirked at him, then shrugged with a rattle of chains.
"Your loss, bring me a pen and paper I'll write up the contract, and we'll signature the agreement in blood."
"I'll write the contract!"
"No trust these days."
"Last time I trusted you I got the crap beaten outta me by the asshole demon wearing Sam's Stanford buddy."
Crowley smirked up at him. "You're not as stupid as you look. You write it out. But we agree on the wording."
….
It took a long time to write the contract with Crowley nit picking every, single, freaking, word.
Making dead sure that neither he nor anyone associated with him now or in the future could shave, cut or in any way remove any of Crowley's current, or future meat suits bodily hair, or photograph him without expressed informed consent.
In exchange Crowley promised to tell him the meaning of the symbol Sam had found, and everything he knew as fact about the identity of the thing that had disassembled the impala. Once it was finally written out, Dean signed it in his own blood and chanted the spell. Then sliced Crowley's hand and watched The King of Hell awkwardly finger paint his own signature below while chanting the same words.
Crowley leaned back in his chair looking smug.
"Pleasure doing business with you, Dean.
Oh and by the way, I always intended to spill. Least I could do after you showed me a good time. Besides, that annoying little prat has been down here making a right nuisance of itself, for days. Can't shut the bloody thing up. You find a way to kill or banish the damn thing, you'll doing me a favour.
That symbol was Fae.
Those lines and circles, that's crop-circle-ese.
I'm surprised your brother didn't recognise it, I'm sure he researched after your case in, Elwood, Indiana.
But I suppose, Samantha wasn't riding the soul train at the time, and things might be a bit muddy.
That symbol, it translates roughly as 'Home.' The reason it was picked out in nuts and bolts around your car… I'll leave that for you to puzzle out.
You've got a fairy in your clubhouse, Squirrel. What kind, I haven't the foggiest. But I'm sure the brain trust upstairs ought to be capable of working it out. Satisfied?Marvellous!
Off you go and hunt the monster."
Smug little prat! It was all Dean could do not to slug the bastard, but he wasn't going to give Crowley the satisfaction. He turned back to the box instead.
"I brought you something," he pulled the iPod, headphones and duct tape out of the box. "Thought I'd bring you something to listen to, it must get dull down here in the dark. Things only got one track, downloaded it special, but I put it on repeat for you.
Waitress I was friendly with, a while back, she had this kid. Kid freaking loved the song, it gets into your head and you can't get it out."
Jamming the headphones over Crowley's ears, Dean pulled the blackout hood back over his head (to protect his hair, a deal was a deal.) and wrapped the whole lot with a mass of duct tape, to keep it from shifting.
Then turned on the music, and walked out.
Tinny and muffled Dean could just hear the cast of Barney the Purple dinosaur singing their theme song, as he slid the doors closed.
I love you,
You love me,
We're a happy family.
With a great big hug.
And a kiss from me to you.
Won't you say you love me too.
I love you,
You love me,
We're best friends like friends should be.
With a great big hug,
And a kiss from me to you.
Won't you say you love me too.
Heading up the stairs again, Dean hoped Crowley enjoyed his little musical interlude.
The song was a freaking ear worm, damn thing got in your head and you couldn't get it out again, you'd catch yourself singing it despite yourself.
Sam always boasted his iPod could play for 8 hours on a single charge. He hoped he was right.
Behind him Crowley started screaming.
...
Authors Note: Thanks to my dear friend Cougar who suggested the Barney theme song and Thanks to guest reader BloodforInk and the lovely Iowa Kat for reviewing, feed back is always welcome valued and if a reviewer is registered I try to reply personally.
Some of you may have noticed I started another story (because Im a freaking idiot) I do only have so much time for writing so your engagement with, and reviews on my story factors heavily in my decision over which story I focus that time on.
As always thanks for reading and I hope I managed to give you a smile.
-MC2