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Update time! Enjoy!

Chapter 36.0

'We're here.'

Jessie yawned as she heard Lisa's voice, blinking the sleep from her eyes. She looked around, raising her eyebrows as she saw the horses in the paddocks. 'This is your place?'

'Yep, this is Fairfield.' Lisa slowed her car down as a worker led a couple of thoroughbreds up the drive, waving to her. 'There's a couple of my broodmares, one has already produced quite a promising colt.'

'Wow.' She shook her head in amazement as the car stopped outside the house. This place was unlike anything she'd ever seen before. It was huge, large stables and manicured lawns stretched as far as the eye could see. She hopped out of the car, Lisa handing her her bag from the back as she collected her things. 'This is gorgeous Lisa! This is really your place?'

'Yep. It took a very long time for it to turn into this and a lot of hard work but this is the place I call home.' She looked down at her. 'Come on, I'll show you where your room is and then if you're up to it, maybe a ride since Barbara cleared you and I'll show you around.'

Jessie smiled, following her up the stairs. 'Brilliant.' The woman opened the door, leading her in and she gasped as she looked around. Her house was so different from Heartland there was no comparison at all. Everything spoke of money yet she wondered why Lisa even wanted to stay at Heartland. This place was amazing! 'This is gorgeous Lisa.'

Lisa shrugged, taking off her coat and placing it up on the wall. 'It's just a house Jessie. It's the people that live in it that make it home.' She got that faraway look in her eye for a moment then turned back to her. 'Come on, through here.'

'Has Jack been here?' She asked as she followed her through the house, her eyes wide in wonder. She had never seen a house like this before, it was totally new and unbelievable to her.

'A couple times.' Leading her down a hallway, she opened a door and walked into the room. 'You might not believe it, but sometimes I prefer Heartland to here. It's just so-' She paused for a moment. 'Empty sometimes.' The girl looked around the room in wonder and she couldn't help but feel sorry for her. The girl obviously thought that having a grand house made a person happy but it couldn't be further from the truth. It couldn't be more lonely when she didn't have anyone to share it with. 'This was my room growing up. I thought you'd like to stay in it.'

'To be fair, sleeping on the floor in front of the fire, it can't get any better than that but thanks Lisa.' She smiled at her, looking around the room. It was tidy and clean, soft pink curtains caressed the windows and a pink quilt was on the bed. Numerous trophies and model horses lined a shelf on the wall and there were still horse posters hanging up. 'It's really nice.'

'I'm glad you like it.'

'I still might find my way to your bed if a nightmare wakes me.' Jessie teased but there was some truth to it. 'I've never actually slept in a room all by myself, except for the hospital and that doesn't count.'

'You've never had your own room? Not even with Robert and Lillian?'

'Their house was only two rooms, and they had one room for themselves. I had a place by the fire, I guess that's why I like sleeping near one so much. It's probably the only thing I've ever done from the time I was five till now, I guess after that amount of time it's tradition.' She chucked but it was a hollow chuckle. There was a lot of truth in what she'd said, having her own room had never been something that she could have. 'And of course moving around with my Mom-' Her voice trailed off for a moment. 'I spent more time underneath beds then sleeping in them.'

Another thing to add to the growing list of things she's missed out on as a child. One thing was certain, Jessie was sure going to be surprised by having her own room at Heartland. 'Well, when you come to sleep over this will be your room. You are more than welcome to move things or change them, this is your room now, your space. You can make it yours, make it as unique and as special as you are.'

'Well, I could add a bed for Cougar-'

'We might have to have a rain check on that one I'm afraid.' Lisa interrupted with a laugh. 'I don't mind Cougar but I'm sure some of the people would end up with a heart attack if a mountain lion came sauntering around the premises.'

'Probably.' She sighed, opening her suitcase to find her other coat. 'Can we go for that ride now?'

'Sure. I'll just have to change into something else and we can go.' She agreed with a smile as she headed towards the door. 'Your welcome to have a look around and get your bearings, I have a feeling you'll be here often.'

'As long as you'll have me.' Jessie teased back as the woman headed back up the hallway. She looked back down at her suitcase, her shoulders slumping slightly. Lisa was trying so hard to make her feel at home and feel welcome but everything was just so overwhelming. The house was so big and gorgeous, there were so many breakable things she had to be careful of. She'd already almost knocked over a vase when she'd came in. Everything felt so strange, so- different. It wasn't at all like Heartland, she really belonged there but here she was way way way out of her depth. It was all so new, so frightening. As she looked around the room she wished for a moment for her cot beside the fireplace then quickly pushed it aside. Lisa was trying her best, she would not be ungrateful.

Putting her oilskin coat on she headed back out of the room into the hallway, careful not to knock over the vases on the small tables along the walls. Everything was so much different from Heartland, even the decorations and the colours. It spoke of class and high society, something she'd definitely never had any experience with ever. Eventually she made her way back to what she guessed was the living room and began to look around, feeling more and more uneasy and like a stranger. Lisa had disappeared, she didn't even dare go down the other hallway for fear of getting herself lost. It was better to save herself the embarrassment.

She closed her eyes, feeling a panic attack coming on, brought on by her scattered emotions. Don't panic. Don't panic Jessie. Everything is alright. Your alright. Lisa is here, your safe. It's just a big house, it's nothing to be scared of. Her mind reasoned with her body, and slowly she felt herself calming down again. There wasn't anything to be scared of, no reason to panic. Everything was fine.

When she felt that she was back to normal she took a deep breath and opened her eyes. Her heart was still racing slightly but she was knew the worst was over. She wasn't going to have a full blown panic attack because she was able to stop it in time. She sighed in relief, looking around. Thank goodness she'd caught it before it'd really gotten bad.

Photographs on a shelf over across the room caught her eye and she strode over to them. She looked at them, looking for Lisa. She smiled, seeing a photo of what she guessed was Lisa as a little kid with a pony and an older woman that must have been her mother. Her smile faded as her face sobered. There were no photos of her and her mother. Not a single one. Even though she knew that her mother hadn't been the kind of mother she needed she was still her mother. She had loved her, loved her with her whole heart. She had known no other way when she was little, and hadn't really known what she knew now. The woman might have been her mother but that wasn't the life that was best for her, she knew that. It was just so confusing, her feelings. Her heart and her mind were at war with each other. Her mind reasoned with the knowledge of what the situation was like but her heart responded with the call that she was her mother. It was like she was in two frames of mind.

Her eyes wandered over the pictures again, stopping at a picture of Lisa with a man and a girl. She looked at it intently, cocking her head to the side as she wondered. Who were they? She heard footsteps coming back up the hall and quickly turned, the photograph forgotten as Lisa emerged. 'We ready to go ride?'

'Yep, let's go.'

'That's the trail to Heartland.' Lisa pointed as she halted her chestnut gelding, patting his neck as Jessie pulled up her grey mare beside her. They'd been riding for sometime, taking the bridle-paths connecting the properties together so that the girl got an idea of her surroundings. She had been rather quiet on their ride and she wondered if it had anything to do with what Val had said to her. 'How's she going for you?'

'She's a lot different than Warrior but she's alright.' Jessie replied, patting the mare as she dropped her head to snatch a mouthful of grass. It did feel different to be riding another horse, and even more different to be using english tack but it was an adjustment she could get used to. 'She's a nice mare. What's her discipline?'

'Hunter jumper.' She nudged the gelding forward down the trail past the turn-off to Heartland, Jessie urging her mare on to keep pace with her. 'She's in training and once she finishes she'll be going to a client who is interested in her. You know Jessie, maybe you want to help train her?'

'I don't think so.' The girl scoffed slightly. She had no experience training horses in English disciplines. 'I'll leave her training to the experts I'm afraid. I think I'd need more experience in that discipline before I tried to train a horse for it, especially as she's to be sold.'

'Fair enough. You should come watch her train sometime though.'

'I look forward to it. I don't mind getting acquainted with the other disciplines in the horse world.' She smiled, urging the mare into a trot. 'And if it means spending time with you I certainly don't mind.'

Lisa chuckled. 'I hope you do realise that I'm not going to be around all the time.'

'No, I know. You have your business to take care of and I respect that. It just makes the time we do have together more special.' Jessie looked over at her. 'When do you go away again? I heard what you said to Val.'

'I have to head back to France in a couple weeks.'

'How long will you be gone for?'

'Probably a month, maybe a little more.' She looked over at Jessie but was unable to read her emotions since the girl's face was blank. Her being absent though was something that the girl needed to get used to, she did travel to France quite a bit with her business. 'But we'll keep in touch Jessie. I'll give you a laptop so we can video call each other while I'm away.'

The girl nodded. 'I'd like that.'

They rode on in silence again and Lisa glanced over at Jessie, wondering what really was on the girls mind. 'Jessie honey, is something wrong?'

'Wrong? No.' She shook her head. 'I'm just a little uncertain of everything I guess, I mean, it's going to take some getting used to.'

I've probably overwhelmed her. She realized with the girl's confession. I should have known she wasn't ready for all this. She's never been around anywhere like it, it's just too much for her to take in and deal with at one time. 'I'm sorry sweetheart, I should have known that all this being new to you would make you uncomfortable.'

'It's not your fault Lisa, you didn't think anything of it. I'm fine, really. It's just a lot to take in.'

'Would you like me to take you back to Heartland?'

'No Lisa, I want to stay here with you.' Jessie smiled, slowing her horse again as they came to another fork in the trail. She pulled her mare to an almost halt, waiting for the woman to lead on in the correct direction. 'I'll just need to learn how to adjust, I can't keep avoiding new situations and places just because I feel uncomfortable. I'd never get anywhere if I did.'

'As long as you're okay-'

'I am Lisa. Thank you for thinking of me.' She replied sincerely. It touched her that she was so worried about how she felt. Lisa turned her horse to the left trail and she let the mare follow the gelding. Snow still lay on the ground, blanketing the landscape with sparkling whiteness as they emerged out of the trees. She glanced up at the sky, reading the signs of what the weather was going to be. 'I think we need to be heading back, I really don't like these clouds. I think we're in for another dump of snow.'

'I checked the weather before we left, they didn't have any snow predicted.' Lisa glanced at the girl. Jessie looked slightly cold and a little uncomfortable. It was time to be heading back anyway, the girl still needed to rest. 'But I trust your instincts. We'll head back.'

A little while later Jessie sat on the couch wrapped in blankets with a cup of hot chocolate warming her hands. The weather had turned bad, another good dump of snow was forecasted to fall overnight and she was mighty glad to be safely inside this time then out in the freezing elements. When they'd gotten back they'd heard the weather broadcast and Lisa had sent the majority of her employee's home so they could get home before the snow came. The workers that lived at the stud had gotten the horses in and looked after and everything was in place for the expected storm.

Jessie felt a little more at home now, Lisa had given her a proper tour of the house when they'd returned so she knew where everything was now and it helped put her mind at ease a little. It was a huge house, Lisa's bedroom was almost the size of Jack's kitchen, dining and living room put together. She was secretly thankful Lisa had shown her where her room was, it helped a little knowing where she was if she woke up with a nightmare. It still made her feel embarrassed, how her nightmares always had her running to Jack or Lisa but there was nothing she could do to help that. She never knew when a nightmare was going to come and even though she knew that she was going to be okay she had a feeling they weren't going to go away overnight.

'How's your chocolate?' Lisa asked, walking into the living room and taking a place on the couch next to the girl.

'Good.' She smiled, sharing her blanket with the woman. She took another sip, snuggling up to her to get warm. They had both changed out of their riding clothes into warmer attire but she still couldn't help but feel slightly cold. 'I enjoyed the ride. Thanks for showing me around.'

'No problem sweetheart.' Her coffee was still slightly too hot to drink so she placed it down on the table in front of the couch to cool down. The girl was still sipping away at her drink and she couldn't help but chuckle slightly seeing some chocolate powder on her nose. 'You've got chocolate on your nose.'

'I do?'

'Yep.' She wiped it off with her finger, the girl scrunching her face up. 'All off. I'm glad you had fun out there today.'

'Thanks.' The girl finished her cup off and placed it down on the table, resting her head on the woman's shoulder as Lisa placed her arm around her. This was what she had longed for all along. To be able to stay with people that actually cared about her. It was almost too good to be true, like she was expecting to find that it was just a dream and when she woke she'd still be shipped off to the foster home. But it wasn't a dream. This was her new reality and it felt nice. 'Amethyst is a nice horse, I like her.'

'Yes, she is a good little mare.' She agreed, looking down at her. 'So, what do you want to do for the rest of the afternoon? We've got a couple of hours till dinner and I'm all yours.'

'Could you play with my hair?' Jessie asked hopefully then yawned. 'I'm too tired to do anything I think.'

'Sure honey.' She smiled, bringing the blanket around them tighter. Jessie looked so cute when she was sleepy. Her brown eyes would go all mellow and soft, she'd snuggle up closer to her and then she'd finally drift off to sleep. The girl sighed in contentment as she undid the braid her hair was in then began to run her fingers through it. Barely a couple minutes had passed and the girl was sound asleep on her shoulder. She smiled again, knowing she and Jack had made the right choice. There was nothing else she'd be rather doing then spending time with the girl she now thought of as her own.