(Cut to the boys getting treatment at an alien spa.)
(Song: Spa Day (instrumental))
Phineas: Wow, I got to say, this is relaxing
Super Super Big Doctor: Stapler-Fist there is my toughest guard, but, boy, if he doesn't give the finest foot massage on Feebla-Oot.
Phineas: Well the pressure is perfect, so thanks Mr. Fist.
Stapler Fist: OMG, one of the Beacon of Light just thank me! I can't believe it! I'm so excited, I could actually explode. Seriously, I could just
Candace: Well, I am glad that you— (gasps as Stapler Fist just exploded) whoa! What the heck?
Shoe Monkey: Oh, geez, he got his goop all over me.
Candace: uh...what just happen?
Super Super Big Doctor: Oh, don't worry. He'll grow back.
Shoe Monkey: All right. Come on, Stapler-Fist's legs. This way.
Candace: well that was gruesome
Super Super Big Doctor: Yea, It happens whenever they get excited. Especially when they get free stuff. Birthdays here are a bloodbath.
Phineas: make a note on that Ferb: no free stuff. (Ferb wrote it down on his notebook)
Super Super Big Doctor: Now just relax. We're gonna have a beautiful day!
(Song: Our Days Out)
(Yeah, it's our days out...)
(Yeah, it's our days out...)
You and I
Should take the afternoon to unwind.
So get ready
We can lay out and rest our minds.
Go for a drive or stop for a bite,
It all depends upon your appetite.
We could do knitting,
Or copper fitting,
Weather permitting...
I never seem to have any free time.
I just need to get a little me time.
I mean, "and you time, too."
It's a girls day out, time to get away
From the hustle and bustle of the day-to-day.
We all need a little time to play.
Super Super Big Doctor: Cucumber spray?
Phineas: No doubt!
We can just do brunch or catch a matinee
Or something a little bit less cliché.
I've got this, honey,
Put your money away,
'Cause I am all about our days out.
(Yeah, it's our days out...)
(Yeah, its our days out...)
(Cut back to the trees as we pan by various weird-looking insects, until we finally meet back up with the gang. Isabella steps on a mound and surveys her surroundings.)
Isabella: This way, team. The fortress is three klicks away.
Doofenshmirtz: Wait a minute! What's a "klick"? And who put you in charge, young lady? I'm the grown-up.
Isabella: Well, some people think I'm a natural leader.
(Isabella unravels her Fireside Girl sash revealing her many accomplishment patches.)
Isabella: Huh?
Doofenshmirtz: You got, uh— You got all these for being a leader?
Isabella: Yep.
(Beat.)
Doofenshmirtz: Well, but, have you got one of these? (Doof reaches into his lab jacket and takes out a card.)
Isabella: That's a library card, and, yes, I do.
Doofenshmirtz: (puts the card back) Well, it doesn't matter, because I'm the adult. So, step aside. Doof is in charge!
(Song: Adulting)
So you say you got a patch for leading people through a jungle?
But I've got a prescription for this anti-fungal.
So I win!
Isabella: How is that winning?
Doofenshmirtz: I'm just saying I'm prepared.
Isabella: Undecided whether I should feel
Disturbed or scared.
Doofenshmirtz: I'm older and bolder,
Got this ache in my shoulder
I keep my medical records
In this manilla folder.
Isabella: Meaning?
Doofenshmirtz: Just that I lived more.
Isabella: But I've got a better feelin' for the great outdoors.
Doofenshmirtz: Ya think ya know just what to do,
But I've got a ton more experience than you
In adulting!
Isabella: Is that what it's called?
Doofenshmirtz: I know you don't know what I mean,
But you're not gonna know it till ya turn eighteen.
It's called "adulting"!
Isabella: That's not a verb.
Doofenshmirtz: When you're no longer a private, you're a sarge!
You're all grown up and you're livin' large!
Ya get to be the one in charge!
Get it off of me! Get it off of me!
It's called adulting!
Isabella: It's still not a verb.
Doofenshmirtz: Come on, back me up here.
Candace: It's not a verb.
Doofenshmirtz: Whatever.
Isabella: Can you read a compass?
Doofenshmirtz: No.
Isabella: Or start a fire?
Doofenshmirtz: No.
Isabella: Build a shelter?
Doofenshmirtz: No.
Isabella: Or change a tire?
Doofenshmirtz: No.
Isabella: Dig a hole?
Doofenshmirtz: No.
Isabella: Pitch a tent?
Doofenshmirtz: No.
Isabella: Navigate?
Doofenshmirtz: No.
Isabella: Circumvent?
Doofenshmirtz: No.
Isabella: Chop a tree?
Doofenshmirtz: No.
Isabella: Build a snare?
Doofenshmirtz: No.
Isabella: Catch a fish?
Doofenshmirtz: No.
Isabella: Fight a bear?
Doofenshmirtz: No.
Isabella: Now I think our only care,
And I think this question is really fair,
Is can you get us from here…
Doofenshmirtz: Yeah?
Isabella: …to there?
Doofenshmirtz: Absolutely!
Isabella: You can? How?
Doofenshmirtz: By adulting!
Yes, adulting!
Baljeet: He makes a salient point.
Isabella: Baljeet!
Doofenshmirtz: I'm adulting!
Baljeet: What? He sounds authoritative.
Doofenshmirtz: 'Cause I'm adulting!
I'm an adult! (dusts himself off) And therefore, I, the adult, say... this way, people, single file— (screams as he falls off a cliff and tumbles a la Homer Simpson) Ooh, ooh, whoa, whoa! (Screams)
(Splash!)
Doofenshmirtz: (offscreen) I'm okay! I'm okay! The water at the bottom broke my fall. It's awfully hot, though. It's— (stammers, screams)
(A geyser sprays Doof back up to the cliff.)
Doofenshmirtz: (screams, grunts) Okay, I can confidently say that we should go that way. (Groans)
(Dissolve to a bruised and bandaged Doof limping in the lead.)
Doofenshmirtz: So we all agree that we've passed this spot somewhere between once and not more than, like, 11 times, right?
The gang: Yes.
(Agent P stealthily trails behind them. Suddenly, a screeching is heard. The gang turn around and see a dragon-like creature flying overhead.)
Doofenshmirtz: Okay, well, that's something you don't see every day.
(Doof zaps the creature with his Chicken-Replace-Inator, and the creature is instantly replaced with the nearest chicken.)
Doofenshmirtz: See? Adulting.
Phineas: What just happened?
Doofenshmirtz: Well, thanks to my handy Chicken-Replace-inator, which some people said I shouldn't bring, it switched places with the nearest chicken. Wherever that is.
(Cut to Earth. Cut to a sign reading "Dragon Land Theme Park: 'A Medieval Load of Fun.'" We find out soon enough that this is yet another half-brained business thought up by our favorite henpecked farmer.)
Farmer's Wife: I can't believe you built a dragon theme park without anything that even looks like a dragon. And why haven't you gotten rid of that silly chicken coop?
(The chicken in the coop is soon replaced by the Feebla-Ootian creature.)
Farmer: My support group says you're keeping me down.
(Cut back to the gang on Feebla-Oot.)
Doofenshmirtz: Now, where was I? Ah, that's right. Leading. This way, people. (Screams)
(Doof once again falls off another cliff.)
Doofenshmirtz: Oh, my spleen! Ow! (He crashes into a wall.) Ow!
(The gang look up to find that Doof crashed into the fortress.)
Doofenshmirtz: (groans, pants) Oh, look, we're here! See, I told you I knew the way.