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Chapter 3.1

Lisa watched as the mountain scenery flashed by, deep in thought. Her aunt had called her a few days ago and she'd shared with her that she was now joint guardians with Jack over Jessie. Her aunt had said a couple things to her about what she'd thought about it, things that hurt more than what Val had said. She glanced back at Jessie, the girl was asleep with her head on her pillow against the window. She knew that she would have chosen to look after her over what her aunt thought. She'd tried to explain to her about her decision but she hadn't been extremely happy for her. It's your life. She had said. I thought you wouldn't want to be harnessed with a burden like looking after a child. Look at you. You're old enough to be a grandmother. Why on earth did you ever think taking care of an orphan was a good idea.

It's not like that. She'd insisted. Jessie isn't a burden. She's just a child who needs love and if I had to choose I'd say yes again without hesitation. You know how hard it was on me when I lost-

'Lis, you alright?' Jack glanced across at her. After Jessie had fallen asleep she'd hardly said two words. 'Something on your mind?'

'Just thinking.' She shrugged, turning to him. 'I've had a busy few days.'

'Anything you want to tell me about?'

'Just problems with Dan. Now I have to delay going to France for two weeks because of him.'

'Oh.' He'd only met her ex once but that once had been more than enough. He didn't think highly at all of Dan Hartfield. 'Does that mean you'll have to be away longer then?'

'I hope not but I'll have to see what happens.' She glanced back at Jessie, smiling as she watched her sleep. 'She's so cute when she's asleep.'

He chuckled, taking a look back at the girl through the mirror. She was asleep with her hand resting on Cougar's head, her long brown hair caressing her face. He turned the radio down slightly so the noise didn't disturb her. 'She was asleep barely ten minutes after we left.'

'She's having nightmares again?'

'She hasn't mentioned anything to me lately. She's pretty tired though, she's been trying to pull her weight around the ranch.'

'She hasn't overworked herself has she? She's still not well, Jack, not fully.'

'No, I've been keeping an eye on her. She hadn't done anymore then I've been allowing her.'

'I might have a talk with her.' Lisa glanced at the girl again. 'I might get Barbara to check her over again, just to be on the safe side.'

'Jessie isn't going to be too happy about that.'

'Happy or not she's getting checked out. I don't want to take any chances.' She was taken back to another time when a girl she knew kept saying she was tired and she hadn't taken much notice. Then, it had been too late. 'If she's sick or something it's better to catch it now than later.'

Jack frowned slightly. 'Is there something else Lisa?'

She shook her head. 'Just playing it safe Jack. It's probably nothing but I want to make sure.'

'I guess that's fair enough.' There was something that he just couldn't put his finger on but he knew better than to press her on it. Lisa had the tendency to shut herself down at clam up if he tried too hard to get her to talk to him. He slowed the car down as they turned up the trail, stopping it outside the cabin. He glanced back at Jessie as he turned the engine off, the girl still sleeping soundly. 'Jessie, we're here. Wake up.'

The girl's eyelids fluttered open at her name and she yawned as she woke up, looking up to see both Lisa and Jack watching her. 'What?' She chuckled then yawned again. 'I think I needed that.'

Lisa nodded with a slight grin. 'You must have.'

'Alright, everybody out.' Jack hopped out, opening the door for the girl. Cougar yawned then climbed down out of the car, sitting at his feet. 'So Jessie, what do you think?'

'It's gorgeous Jack.' She stepped out, Lisa heading to the back of the car and opened the door. She looked around, her breath taken away. It was beautiful. She frowned as her eyes fell on the cabin, her memory telling her that she had been here before. Then, it dawned on her and she began to chuckle. 'I don't believe it.'

'Believe what?'

'Remember Jack when I told you that I found a cabin in the mountains and I took supplies from it. This was the cabin.' She turned to him. 'Guess I owe you some blankets. It's a good thing we brought our own bed rolls.'

'You came here?'

'Yeah.' Jessie shook her head, unable to believe it. What on earth were the chances that the cabin she'd taken supplies from belonged to Jack? 'Sorry Jack.'

'It's fine Jessie, don't worry about it.' He patted her shoulder. 'How about we get this car unloaded and get fishing hey?'

Lisa watched Jessie playing with Cougar near the bank of the river as her and Jack fished together. The girl had spent some time fishing with Jack as he tried to teach her but she'd decided to take a break and play with her pet instead. She smiled, glancing over at her as she brought her line back in. They were playing some kind of chasing game with each other, the girl laughing as she and Cougar played in the long grass along the river bank. Jack moved over closer to her and she glanced up at him. 'Jessie looks so happy.'

'She does.' He agreed with a smile and a nod. It was good to see her playing around, showing childish behaviour for once rather than trying to keep herself together. She could just relax and be herself. 'I wonder what she would have been like when she was younger if she had a better upbringing.'

'Probably ten times more mischievous and cheeky.' She replied, casting her line into the water again. 'Jessie's got such a sweet nature, she's so kind and gentle but she never really has time to just fool around. I'm happy she can show her playful childish side for a change. She never should have had to grow up as fast as she did.'

'I think this trip will benefit her more than we'll know.'

'Alright, I think I'm ready to give it another shot.' Jessie announced as she walked back over, her cheeks red and her eyes sparkingling from running around. 'Cougar's worn me out.'

Jack chuckled as she joined them, her cat lying down on the warm rocks in the sunlight. 'You look like you've had fun.'

'I haven't run or laughed that much in ages. I almost forgot what it felt like. Cougar is such a big baby, we used to play together all the time-' Her eyes got a faraway look in them as she picked her fishing rod up. 'Then it became just a fight to survive. There was no time for play.' She dropped the line into the water then tried to reel it in like Jack had shown her. 'How long is this going to take to get a bite?'

'You've got to have patience Jessie.' He chuckled, casting his line out again. 'These things take time.'

'The only thing I managed to catch on my own the first time Jack took me up here was a tree.' Lisa said with a chuckle, watching the girl as she attempted to imitate them. 'I got the line so tangled up in the end we just left it there.'

'Your supposed to catch fish when you're fishing Lisa, not trees.' She teased with a cheeky grin. 'Whenever I wanted fish before Cougar and I worked out a system that didn't require a fishing line or rod. I always managed to get a meal and it took less time too.'

'The whole point of fishing is to clear your mind and relax.' Jack interrupted.

'Pretty hard to do that if your stomach is growling like a hungry wolf.' The girl tried to cast the line out again then sighed. 'I'm still not getting the hang of this.'

'It takes time Jessie.' He brought his line back in then placed his rod down on the bank, going over to the girl. 'Here, let me show you again.'

Lisa watched them with a smile, remembering herself fishing for the first time with him. He was doing exactly the same thing with Jessie that he had done with her. He was so good with her, patient and gentle as he explained it again to her, showing her where to place her hands correctly and helping her cast the line out. Suddenly, she felt a nibble on her line then it went taunt as a fish attached itself to her hook. 'I've got a bite.'

'Bring it in slowly Lisa.' Jack cautioned as he looked over at her reeling it in. 'Do you want a hand?'

'I think I've got it.' Slowly, slowly she brought the fish in, hoping the line wouldn't snap. The fish struggled as it came into the shallows and she quickly grabbed it before it could get away again. 'Got it.'

'Yay Lisa!' Jessie laughed as the woman held the fish up with a big grin on her face. 'You're having better luck than me.'

'I'll go give her a hand.' He chuckled, leaving the girl to try casting out the line again by herself. Lisa had the fish on the bank, trying to get the hook out of its mouth. 'That'll be a good one for dinner.'

'If I don't drop it.' The fish struggled, trying to get back to the water and she gratefully let Jack take over before she lost it. 'Thanks Jack.'

'Nice work.' He complimented, swiftly dispatching the fish and adding it to the ice cooler. 'I think I taught you too well, I haven't caught anything yet.'

'Maybe you did.' She teased back with a smile, picking up her line again. 'How's Jessie doing?'

He chuckled. 'It's taking a little while but I think she'll get the hang of it.'

'Hey, I think I've got something.'

'What'd I say?' He winked at her then headed back over to the girl. 'Bring it in slow and gentle Jessie.'

'I'm trying.' Jessie replied, trying to reel it in but it was just too heavy. 'I think the line is going to snap.'

'You want me to help you bring it in?'

She nodded. 'Please.'

'Okay, let's bring it in slowly.' He placed his arms around her, placing his hands on hers and helping guide her in bringing the fish in. He could feel how heavy it was through the rod, the line was almost at snapping point. With each wind of the line he could feel the fish diving straight to the bottom again. It certainly was putting up quite a fight. 'I think you've caught a big one Jessie.'

'Let's hope so.' She replied, thankful he was able to help. 'It doesn't want to come in.'

Lisa placed her rod down, joining Jack and Jessie as they tried to wrangle in the fish. 'It's putting up more of a fight then my one.'

'Almost there Jessie.' Jack encouraged, taking hold of the rod. 'You bring it in.'

Jessie grabbed hold of the line, wondering why the fish had given up struggling once it had reached the shallows. Maybe it was exhausted? She began to pull the line out of the water then threw her head back and laughed as she held up what was on the hook. 'We managed to get a rock. All that, and we managed to get a rock.'

Jack was speechless for a moment then he shook his head and chuckled. 'No wonder it was so hard to bring it in.'

Lisa shook her head in amazement as the girl stumbled out of the water onto the bank, still holding onto the rock. 'Better luck next time honey.' She encouraged, Jack and the girl still laughing at their 'fish' they had caught. 'You'll get the hang of it.'

'I think that's enough for one day.' Jessie exclaimed, tears running down her cheeks from laughing so hard. 'I think I'm going to try my way from now on, at least I actually managed to catch a fish when I did. Is it okay if I head downstream a little Jack?'

'Sure honey.' He put her rod down on the bank and picked his up. 'Just don't stray too far. Stay close enough so we can still see you okay?'

'Alright.' She clicked her fingers at her mountain lion. 'Come Cougar.'

Lisa looked at Jack as Jessie headed off alongside the river with Cougar in tow, chuckling again when the girl was out of earshot. 'Poor Jessie. She really thought she'd caught a fish.'

'We both got fooled.' Jack agreed as he cast his lint out again. 'I thought it was a fish too.' He shook his head as he slowly brought his line in. 'That's a story neither of us are going to live down easily I think.'

'Yeah, I feel bad for her.' She picked her line up, taking a few steps downstream so her line didn't get tangled in his. 'She was trying so hard.'

'She'll get the hang of it. You did.'

'Maybe I need to teach you how to fish.' Lisa grinned at him. 'All you've caught today is nothing and a rock.'

'Lisa-' He started then felt a nibble on his line. 'Maybe you don't.'

'Let's just see if it's a rock or not before you get all cocky, shall we?'

'Here's a good spot.' Jessie remarked to herself as she found a shallow spot in the river, glancing back at Cougar who was still on the bank. 'What do you think girl?' The cat yawned and she laughed. 'Yeah, fishing is kinda like that.' Her cheeks were still red with embarrassment from catching a rock. She'd thought it was a fish, she'd hoped she'd gotten the hang of it to impress Jack but she'd only caught a stupid river rock. She looked back up the river to Jack and Lisa as they continued fishing. Bet their having a good little chuckle. Her thoughts said in her mind. That was pretty funny.

Carefully she waded out a little further into the water, watching it intently. Her way of catching fish was rather peculiar but she found it worked for her. It'd kept food in her stomach many times rather than go hungry. Quietly she stood motionless, waiting. She'd fished here before, her rock trap was still mostly intact where she stood at the end of the funnel she knew there was plenty of trout. She just needed to have patience.

She spotted a nice fish moving through the wide mouth towards the exit and slowly reached down, grabbing it as fast as she could. The fish slipped through her fingers and she growled. 'Missed it.' Suddenly she heard a splash and turned to see Cougar coming out of the water with the fish in her mouth. 'Cougar!'

The cat held firmly onto the fish till it stopped moving then walked over to her, giving her the fish. She shook her head in amazement. On the odd occasion she'd chased fish to the edge of the water to let Cougar get experience catching them but she'd never thought that the puma would actually dive into the water to catch a fish. They didn't like water, did they? 'Good girl.' She praised as the cat let go of the fish into her waiting hand. She chuckled as she rewarded her with a pat. 'Even you're better at fishing then me.'

Cougar rubbed against her, purring in the water that was almost up to her chin. She never ceased to amaze her. When had she gotten so comfortable in the water? 'Let's go show them what you caught hey?'

'How'd you go?' Jack asked as he glanced up from the ice cooler where he'd just deposited a trout he'd caught. 'What'd you get?'

'Cougar got it actually. Turns out she's better at fishing than me.' Jessie replied, holding up the fish. 'I'll let her eat this one, I don't think we'd want to.'

'Jack and I got enough for dinner anyway.' Lisa added as she joined them, glancing at her watch. 'I think we should probably head back, it's starting to get late.'

'That okay with you Jessie?'

'Sure.' She shrugged. 'I think I've had enough fishing for one day.'

'You'll have better luck tomorrow Jessie.' He closed the lid on the cooler and stood up, patting her shoulder. 'You gave it a pretty good shot.'

'Thanks Jack.' Cougar rubbed up against her legs as she gave her a pat with her free hand as they prepared to leave. 'Would you guys mind if I made dinner tonight? Would that be okay?'

'That's fine by me honey, I'm useless cooking over an open campfire anyway.' Lisa grabbed her fishing gear and they started back to the cabin. 'Jack might want to cook his fish though.'

'If you want to do dinner, that's fine by me Jessie.'

'Brilliant.' She smiled widely. 'You two go and relax then and let me worry about the cooking.'

'Your up to something, aren't you?' There was something in Jessie's eyes that told her the girl was planning something. 'What are you scheming?'

'You'll just have to wait and see.' The girl replied mysteriously, clicking her fingers. 'Come on Cougar, let's see who can get to the cabin first.'

'Be careful Jessie, don't fall over.' She cautioned as the girl ran off down the track from their fishing spot to the cabin. She looked at Jack as they followed at a walk, wondering what the girl was up to. 'Do you know what she's doing?'

'I have no idea.' Jack replied, glancing over at her. 'But knowing Jessie it's something for us.'

'She's something special, that's for sure.'

He looked over at her as they continued on down the trail, Lisa looking like she was a million miles away. Something wasn't right. She was upset about something, he could feel it. 'What is it Lisa?'

'Nothing.'

'I know when you say it's nothing it's something.' He replied gently, stopping her and they halted in the middle of the trees on the path. 'What is it?'

'Someone said- some things-' Lisa's voice was strained as she looked away from him. 'About Jessie. It's just got to me, I guess.'

'Who?'

'My aunt.' She sighed. 'She wasn't at all supportive when I told her that you and I had received guardianship of Jessie. I guess I thought she'd be more happy and excited then she was.'

'What did she say?'

'I don't want to repeat it Jack.' She looked up at him and he touched her cheek gently. 'You don't regret us choosing to take care of her, do you?'

'No, of course not.' Whatever her aunt had said obviously had been mean enough for the way she was acting. 'Do you?'

'No. When I saw her playing with Cougar, laughing and enjoying herself I knew we'd made the right decision. I love that girl Jack, she's become a part of me. If I had to make the choice over again if I would look after her again I would say yes, in a heartbeat.'

'Then what is it?'

'I don't know.' She sighed again and they started walking back to the cabin. 'It just hurts I guess, that she couldn't be happy for my decision.'

He nodded understandingly. 'Not everyone is going to agree with what we chose.'

'No, I guess you're right.' Lisa shrugged. 'I don't think she'll be the last person to say anything either.'

'It's water off a duck's back Lis, what people say doesn't matter. All that matters is if you feel that your decision was right. No one's words should make you question what you feel in your heart.'

'I know it was the right decision Jack, I couldn't just turn my back on her.'

'But-' He added, prompting her gently.

'But on the other hand I don't know if it was logical. Even with her staying with you when I go away it's going to be hard on her. She needs a mother figure that's always there for her, not traveling around the countryside.'

'That's what your aunt said, isn't it?'

Lisa nodded. 'Yeah. I guess I'm doubting myself now Jack. Am I kidding myself that I'd be able to be a part of her life and yet still live my own? Is it fair on either of us in the long run?'

'Lisa, Jessie is going to be just fine with you traveling. She's a strong girl, she's going to be alright having time away from you. She understands you have your business and I know she wouldn't expect you to give it up just for her. You don't need to worry about that. You adore Jessie and she adores you and that's all that matters.'

'I think I needed to hear that.' She said as the cabin came into view. 'Thanks Jack.'

'Your welcome Lisa.' He smiled at her then looked over at Jessie as they approached. The girl had a roaring fire going, her Cougar lying down beside her as she worked, keeping guard over her. She looked up when she heard their footsteps, grinning widely. 'What have you got cooking?'

'It's a surprise.' Jessie replied mysteriously, placing the lid back on the camp oven. 'You'll have to wait and see. Go get changed, dinner will be ready in about half an hour.'

'You go change Lisa, I'll take care of packing the gear up.'

'You sure?'

'Go on.' He nodded, taking her rod and tackle box from her and placed them aside to take care of later. She headed into the cabin, closing the door behind her and he knelt down beside the girl. 'Whatever is in there smells good.'

'No peeking Jack.' She teased. Grabbing another shovel full of coals she put them onto the lid of the camp oven then tended to the fish cooking in the frypan. 'You'll spoil the surprise. Trust me, you're going to like it.'

'Very very mysterious Jessie.'

'Mmmhmm.' She poked the potatoes she was cooking back into the coals then sat back with him. 'Thank you for trying to teach me how to fish, I did have a lot of fun even if all I caught was a rock.'

'That's okay Jess, I'm glad you had fun.' He tucked a stray piece of her hair back behind her ear. 'You'll have better luck tomorrow.'

'I hope so. I hate not getting things right the first time I try something new. I'm always so good at everything, it's not often it takes a bit longer for me to get the hang of something. It drives me crazy.'

Jack chuckled as he got up and picked the fishing gear up. 'You'll get it. I better go put this stuff away and let you continue cooking.'

She nodded as he walked away and she turned back to the fire. The smell of the burning wood, of the cooking fish, it brought back memories. Good and bad. She'd loved it when she went camping with Robert, they used to stay out all the time if they were working with the mustangs or doing something in the mountains. Even Lillian had come along with them on the odd occasion. Being here now with Jack and Lisa, it brought those memories back.

Other memories came to mind, ones that weren't so pleasant. She could remember many a night sitting beside a campfire, watching, waiting, praying. Praying that her father didn't find her. The last time she had been sitting at a campfire was the night before she got shot. A shiver ran up her spine as she poked the potatoes again. Sometimes she really hated her memories.

'How's it going?'

Jessie glanced around as Lisa joined her at the campfire, pushing her thoughts to the back of her mind. 'Its going good. It'll be done soon.'

'What have you got in there?' She nodded at the camp oven. 'It smells pretty good.'

'Never you mind Lisa, you have to wait.' The girl replied cheekily, standing up. 'You could help me grab the plates and utensils if you want. The fish will be finished soon.'

'Sure. Jack and I will wash up after, since you cooked.'

'You don't have to do that. I don't mind.' They headed over to the table under the porch where their eating things were sitting. 'You and Jack should have some time together without me in the way.'

'We'll have plenty of that tomorrow. You need to relax too, so we'll clean up. No arguments. You've had a big day, you need to rest.'

'I won't argue.' She opened the box with the plates and pulled them out, placing them in their places on the table. 'Actually, I wouldn't mind. I am quite tired.'

'Not sleeping again?'

'Yeah.' Jessie sighed. 'I'm okay Lisa, I'm working through it. Like you told me before, these things take time. I won't heal overnight.'

'I don't want you overdoing things Jessie.' She replied softly, placing her hand on the girl's shoulder. 'I'm worried about you honey.'

'I'm fine Lisa, honest.' The forks and knives joined the plates on the table. 'It'll just take time.'

'I want you to get checked over by Barbra again, it can't hurt.'

'Alright.' She knew there was no point arguing with her. She'd figured out very quickly that when it came to Lisa she never won anyway. 'If it'll make you stop worrying about me then fine. You can drag me in there and get her to give me a once over.'

Lisa chuckled but it was hollow as she touched her chin and made the girl look at her. 'Jessie, that's what I do when I care about someone and I care about you a lot, sweetheart.'

'I know, it's just taking me a little bit to get used to having someone care about me. For a long time the only person I could rely on was myself, I've got to learn that people fussing over me isn't a bad thing. I've learnt so long that I couldn't trust anyone to actually look after me that I need to remind myself that you and Jack are there. It's hard Lisa, that's why sometimes I get mad when you fuss over me.'

'I understand Jessie.' She replied softly, the two of them returning to their work of setting the table for dinner. It saddened her to think of the walls the girl had built around herself to protect herself. It was only because of the people she had in her life. She'd learnt she couldn't trust anyone, just like her. It had taken her a long time to learn to trust, it would take Jessie just as long. 'Just, tell me honey when you feel like I'm being too fussy and I'll back off. I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable, I'll respect when you want me to pull back when you need your space.'

'Lisa.' She put her hand on her arm. 'I like you fussing over me. I don't want that to change. It makes me feel good knowing you really care about me. I don't want that to stop.' She paused for a moment, glancing down at the ground. 'I need it Lisa, it makes me feel loved, wanted. I haven't felt that way for a long time. I don't want that to stop.'

'I'll never stop loving or caring about you honey, you have my promise.' Lisa smiled gently as she accepted the girl into her arms and the girl hugged her back. 'I'll never stop loving you.'