Hi All!

Update time!

Thank you to everyone for your continued support! It means the world to me and I personally thank each and everyone of you who have continued to read and review my story. This story is almost at 20k views now! Thank you all so so much!

On a more serious note, I've been in bed sick for the last couple of weeks. The medication I am on now is to help my CIRS (chronic inflammation response syndrome) which was caused by prolonged exposure to mold. The medication is to get the proteins caused by the mold out of my body and I've been feeling like absolute crap while it's doing its job. Hopefully things will start to improve soon though, I'm really sick of being in bed! On the plus side though, at least I've been able to work on this story. I've got another four chapters done, I'm just starting work on the episode Summer's End. Get ready to get your tissues out for that one folks, its going to be quite a heartwreteching story-line.

Not much longer now either till the cattle drive, I know you've all been waiting for it and I can't wait to share with you all what interesting events I've added to what material the episode has given me to work with.

One more note before I go, this chapter is a bit more heavy then the last six. *pause for evil laughter* It can't be rainbows and sunshine the whole time so there's a few things that crop up for poor Jessie... Enjoy!

Chapter 7.1

'Easy boy, easy.' Jessie patted Warrior a couple days later as she quietened him down, readying him to try the barrels again. It was early in the morning, the sun was only just showing above the mountain peaks as she practiced with her stallion hidden in a secluded clearing in the forest near a home-made jumping course. The stallion shook his head again, prancing as he asked to go. One thing she was trying to teach him was patience, when Warrior wanted to run it was all she could do to hold him in. Normally she would take pride in his high spirits but she knew that letting him go at full speed right out of the gate at a rodeo could potentially be dangerous. She needed his full attention, not blind galloping. 'Easy boy, just wait up. We'll go again in a minute.'

The stallion shook his head, prancing again on the space she had designated as the box, their starting place. She patted his shoulder, looking at the barrels ahead as she shortened his reins a little bit more, forcing him to drop his head and collect himself. She nudged him with her heels, letting him jump into a canter but not go any faster than that. Speed would come later. It was collected practice runs that built up into the speed they would travel around the course in. 'Easy boy, easy.' She sat steady in the saddle as he pig-rooted coming into the first barrel, nicking it slightly as he turned around it. She heard the tell-tale thud of it hitting the ground as they approached the second barrel, going wide this time since his stride was off and heading for the third. He fought her again, trying to gallop as they turned around the last barrel then she let him go. He sprinted forward, pounding his hooves into the grass then before he knew it she was asking him to stop again. He threw his head up in protest as he slid to a stop, snorting as he pawed the ground. She sighed, patting his shoulder as she dismounted. 'You don't know how to go slow do you boy?'

Warrior nudged her as he followed her over to the knocked over barrel and she pulled it back up standing. She turned to him, grabbing his reins. 'What am I going to do with you hey?' She rubbed his forehead as he nickered softly. 'How am I going to teach you to barrel race properly if you can't learn some patience?'

She glanced down at her watch, checking the time. Breakfast was just going to have to be skipped even though she'd said she'd be back by then. She needed to make some progress with Warrior by the end of their practice. The rodeo was only a few weeks away and yet while she hadn't made a final decision or not if she was going to enter she knew she needed to get him around the course in a reasonable amount of time before she made her mind up. Maybe it was just a stupid idea, thinking about entering a rodeo. What chance did she have against people who had been competing all their lives. She sighed again, her fingers intertwined in her stallions mane. Maybe it was just a foolish idea.

'Let's try something different boy.' She placed the reins over his neck, tying them to the saddle horn so he didn't trip over them then headed back over to the 'box' with him following her close behind. She turned him around to face the course again then grabbed his cheek strap and led him forward to the first barrel. He snorted, shaking his head but settled down as they approached the barrel and she took him around it. They headed for the second barrel, going around it same as the first but slightly faster. Warrior was almost jogging as they went for the third barrel, breaking into a trot once he was on the home stretch. 'Woah boy.' She slowed him to a halt once they reached the box, patting his shoulder. 'Good boy. That was better.'

He nibbled at her hand, flicking his ears back and forward while she patted him. 'Good boy. Let's try it again.' She turned him around, this time not holding onto him while they did the course. Warrior broke into a trot around the first barrel and she jogged to keep pace with him. The second barrel came and went like the first, the stallion going around it neatly and cleanly as close to the barrel as he could. He bucked out of high spirits in between the second and third barrel, the girl laughing at his antics as she guided him around the barrel then let him take off. Warrior bolted forward, sliding to a stop at the 'box' then turned and pawed the ground as she jogged up to him. 'Hey, you have to wait for me.' She teased, scratching his shoulder as she stopped beside him. 'Not fair.'

They went around the barrels again and again, Jessie guiding the stallion on foot till some of his vinegar was out of his system and he was more patient and cooperative with her. By the time she was satisfied he'd gone around with her on the ground enough it was almost ten in the morning. 'Oh shoot.' She groaned, grabbing her phone from her pocket. Jack would probably be out looking for her since she had said she was going to join them for breakfast. Quickly she texted a message to let him know she was okay and she was on her way back to the ranch. Warrior nudged her as she placed her phone in her pocket and she untied his reins as she mounted and turned him for home.

Jack was waiting for her as she trotted Warrior into the ranch yard, cringing as he walked over to her. 'Sorry Jack, I lost track of the time.' She dismounted, holding onto Warrior's reins. 'I didn't mean to be out for so long. It won't happen-'

'Jessie, it's okay.' He interrupted, placing his hand on her shoulder. The poor kid was quivering in fear, her eyes showing how worried she was that he was going to go off at her. He knew how hard she tried to do things, to please him but sometimes it was just not necessary. He could only guess her reactions to these kinds of situations were from her past. 'You don't need to get so worked up. It's fine. I'm just glad you are okay. I was going to come look for you.'

'I didn't mean to cause you to worry.'

'Jessie, it's alright. You don't need to be upset. I'm not going to get mad at you.' He lifted her chin, looking into her eyes. 'I don't know what punishments you used to get when you didn't do something you were told to do but I promise you that won't happen here. You don't need to be scared of me going off at you if you don't come in from a ride when you think you'll be back.'

'I guess old habits die hard.' She refused to look at him, her gaze focused on the ground. 'You sure you aren't mad with me?'

'No honey, I'm not mad with you.' Jack replied. 'I've saved you some breakfast if you're hungry.'

'Thanks.' She nodded. Neither of them spoke for a moment but finally she looked up at him. 'Thank you for not getting mad with me. I'll try and be more punctual in future.'

'That's all I ask Jessie. Now, how about we turn this guy loose in the corral and you can grab a bite to eat before we head out onto the range, okay?'

'Okay.' The stallion followed as they walked over to the corral and she un-tacked him, turning him loose to have a break before they headed out to work with the cattle. Warrior nudged her as she took his bridle off, asking for treats and she laughed. 'I don't have anything for you, you'll have to wait.'

Jack put his arm around her as they walked to the house, looking down at her. 'So, what were you doing with Warrior?'

'Its kinda a secret.' She smiled mischievously. 'If it works, you'll know about it.'

'You don't care to share this 'secret' by any chance?'

'Nope, sorry Jack. You'll have to wait.' She took her jacket and gloves off as they walked into the house, hanging them up on the rack. Lou was sitting at the kitchen table working on her laptop as they came in. 'Morning Lou.'

'Morning Jessie.' She didn't even glance up from her screen, her concentration fully on what she was doing. 'Your breakfast is keeping warm in the oven.'

'Thanks.'

'We have a problem with one of the horses for the dude ranch.' Jack announced as he hung his hat up on the rack and walked in, taking a place at the table. She looked up at him and he quickly continued. 'Banjo seems to be lame, I've checked him over but I can't seem to find anything wrong.'

'And he was fine yesterday?'

'As far as I know, yes.'

'I'll call Scott, get him to have a look.' She sighed, grabbing her mobile from beside her laptop. 'Hi Scott-'

Jessie grabbed her breakfast out of the oven as Lou spoke to Scott about the horse and took a place at the table to eat. She wanted to tell Jack about what she was doing but something was holding her back. What if she wasn't good enough? She knew Jack was quite a legend in rodeo lore, what if she made a total fool of herself? It would be embarrassing for her and him. Maybe there wasn't any point entering. It was better to save herself the embarrassment.

'Scott is going to come around tomorrow afternoon, he's out of town today.' Lou announced as she hung up the phone call. 'A lame horse, just what I need.'

'What's going on Lou?'

'Trying to sort out this stuff for the queen of the rodeo contest. Heartland Equestrian Connection is sponsoring Soraya to ride and I have to get these forms in amongst trying to work with the dude ranch-'

'Lou, take a deep breath.' Jack interrupted her as she started getting worked up. She rolled her eyes but followed his advice even if it was slightly begrudgingly. 'Just work on one thing at a time Lou, get the things that need to be done first, first.'

'Thanks Grampa.'

'Alright, I'm done.' Jessie picked her plate off the table as she stood up, half her breakfast still left on it. For some reason she just didn't feel hungry, her stomach was in knots still from being anxious that Jack was going to be mad at her. Even though he said he wasn't, could she be really certain of that? She took a deep breath. Sometimes she really hated her feelings. 'Let's head out Jack.'

'You not hungry Jess?' He asked as he got up and the girl deposited her left-overs into Cougar's feed bowl. 'Something wrong?'

'No it's fine Jack, I'm okay.' She faked a smile as she put the plate into the sink. 'Are you okay to keep an eye on Cougar for me today Lou?'

'Sure.'

'Brilliant. Make sure you give her a paw massage at twelve.'

'Oka-' She looked up. 'Wait, what?'

'Thought that would get your attention.' Jessie teased as she walked past, putting her coat and gloves back on again. 'See you later Lou.'

'See you.'

She waited outside for Jack, glancing out towards the horizon while he got himself organized and ready to go. Maybe she should talk to Lisa. Maybe she could help her make a decision about entering the rodeo. On one hand she really really really wanted to do it, on the other though she was worried she was going to let them down. It was just so hard knowing what to do. She hated when she was like this, when her thoughts were just a tumbling mess. She knew she was being too hard on herself, inwardly she knew that. She'd already apologized for being late and that should have been the end of it but her mind kept going over and over it. It was such a little thing, such a stupid thing-

'Earth to Jessie.'

'Oh, hey.' She chuckled as Jack interrupted her thoughts, coming up beside her. 'Ready then?'

'Yep.' They headed out the yard towards the barn to get their horses. 'Something on your mind Jessie? You looked like you were a million miles away.'

'Just a couple things I'm figuring out, nothing major.' She assured him with a smile. She was good at faking them. 'I was wondering if I might be able to ride over to Lisa's after we finish work if it's not too late. Would it be okay?'

'It's fine by me, just make sure you check with her first. She hasn't dropped by for a couple days so she might pop over this afternoon.'

'I think she's got a buyer looking at one of her mares today so I doubt she'll be coming over but I'll text her now just to make sure.' They parted ways, Jack heading to the barn to get Paint and she headed over to the corral to get Warrior. The stallion trotted over to the gate as she approached, stepping back to let her in and she chuckled as she patted his neck. 'Ready to go again boy?'

'How's he been going?'

She glanced up to see Ty standing at the corral fence and she smiled. 'He's doing good. Put quite a few miles under him today and he's still anxious to get back at it. Aren't you boy?' The stallion nickered softly, nudging her hand. 'I told you I haven't got any treats for you mate. Ty, can you bring his tack in for me?'

'Sure.' He picked up the tack sitting on a hay bale next to the corral and brought it over to her. He placed it down beside her then cautiously extended his hand to the stallion to let him sniff him. 'Hey boy. You been good?'

Warrior sniffed his hand, blowing softly then nibbled his fingers softly with his velvety muzzle. Jessie picked up his bridle and placed the reins around his neck, letting Ty have a moment to pat him. 'Warrior likes you.'

'He's a special horse.' He replied, patting the stallion's neck once he'd made certain that the horse was comfortable with his touch. 'Aren't you?'

'Do you have your own horse Ty?'

He shook his head. 'No.'

'Would you get one?'

'I don't know. I'm more partial to motorbikes then horses.'

She chuckled as she raised her eyebrows. 'Really? I'd never have guessed that.'

'Before I came to Heartland I didn't have anything to do with horses. Jack soon fixed that though, he had me mucking stalls for weeks.'

'I've always been around horses since I was five.' She stuck her thumb in the side of Warriors mouth to encourage him to take the bit and slipped it in. 'My first memory of being around a horse was Lillian's mare. She had this huge chestnut, she was probably sixteen hands or more and that was the first horse I ever touched. She was huge to little five year old me but she was the gentlest, quietest horse I've ever met. I learnt to ride on her. She was Lillian's pride and joy.'

'You speak of Lillian a lot Jessie, but you don't say much about Robert. Like, you mention him but I don't know- ' Ty mentioned carefully, not wanting the girl to get upset or lash out at him. 'It's just something I've noticed.'

Jessie sighed, doing up the throat lash and checking to make sure his bridle was on properly. 'I was a lot closer to Lillian then Robert. It's just different. Lillian was the caring, nurturing one. Robert was more the direct, down to business type. I loved them both but they were-' She paused. 'Different. I'm not saying that Robert was a bad person, he was a lot better then my father and that dreadful foster guy.' Even thinking about him made her cringe inwardly, she couldn't even bring herself to say either of their names. 'But on the other hand he wasn't Jack. It was especially tough after Lillian died, our relationship drifted apart. It put a rift between us, but it wasn't my fault. It was his grief. He kept pushing me away and then well.' She shrugged her shoulders. 'You know how it ended.'

'Yeah.' He replied softly. 'Sounds like it was pretty rough.'

'It was, but it made me stronger. I learnt the only person I could rely on was me. After Lillian died no one was going to watch out for me other than myself.' She placed the saddle blanket on the stallions back, Warrior snorting with surprise at the abruptness of her actions. She went for the saddle but Ty beat her to it and she stood back to let him put it on the horse. 'Thanks.'

'Your welcome Jessie.' He glanced at her as he stepped back from the horse, giving him one last pat. 'Well, if you ever need to talk about it you know I'm around.'

She nodded with a smile. This time it was a more genuine one. It felt good to have someone she could talk to that understood what she'd gone through a little better then Jack and Lisa. 'I appreciate it Ty.'

'See you around Jessie. Don't be too difficult for Jack today.'

'Hey, I'm never difficult.' She protested as he left and she turned back to the stallion. She did his cinch up, checking to make sure it was tight enough and the saddle didn't slip. 'Difficult.' She repeated with a chuckle then turned sober. Maybe she was being difficult? Was Jack just too polite to tell her when she was being annoying? She closed her eyes, leaning against Warrior. She hated when her mind raced off, when it conjured up worries that settled in her stomach and made her feel like she was going to throw up. It was the same reason that she looked over every little detail of her day when she lay in bed. Wondering if she had said or done something wrong. Going over conversations she'd had in her mind. Her uncertainty about entering the rodeo only caused to increase her anxiety. What if she did make a fool of herself?

'You ready to go Jess?'

'Yeah, I'm done.' She looped the cinch back down through the ring to make sure it stayed put and led him out to where Jack was waiting with Paint. 'All ready.' She went to mount her stallion then noticed Jack having a little trouble getting on his horse. She stood back for a moment, then placed Warriors reins over his neck and headed over to help. 'You want a hand?'

'I've got it, I don't need your help.' He replied, slightly abruptly as he finally managed to get his foot in the stirrup and mounted, gathering up his reins. 'We don't have all day.'

She looked down to the ground as she headed back to her stallion and mounted, her cheeks burning from embarrassment. She'd only asked him if she could help him get on his horse since he was having trouble. There wasn't anything wrong with that, was there?

Jack looked over at Jessie as they worked the cattle towards the pasture they were moving them too. She'd been awfully quiet all day and he couldn't figure out why. It wasn't like her. 'Something the matter Jessie?'

She shook her head, glancing down at her saddle as she kicked Warrior into a canter after a runaway calf. 'I'm fine.' She replied back with a little more force than necessary, heading off after the calf to turn it back to the herd.

He frowned, watching her actions more closely after that as they continued moving the cattle. Her body language was telling him something wasn't right with her, she wasn't her usual self. She'd been quiet the whole ride which was most unlike her. She loved coming on cattle drives with him. As he continued to sit back and let her do the work his observations confirmed his suspicions. It even looked like she was annoyed with Warrior, her riding was rougher and more urgent than usual. Warrior was protesting to her actions by tossing his head up, prancing around being slightly difficult to control as he protested against the rough handling and it only served to make her madder. Something was definitely wrong, even if he couldn't quite figure out just what the problem might be.

They continued on, driving the cattle on towards the south pasture. Jessie's body language was clearly showing that she was upset about something and she was taking her anger out on Warrior. He didn't say anything, hoping that whatever was going on behind her eyes would be resolved without his interference but as the day wore on she was only getting rougher and rougher with her stallion. When she yanked his mouth harshly for moving off the route she had chosen that was the final straw for him. She might be angry at something but her horse didn't deserve the rough treatment. As much as he didn't want to get involved he knew that he needed to intervene for both of their sakes. Warrior wasn't going to take to the rough handling for much longer and he knew that Jessie could be hurt if she pushed him further and he snapped. He rode Paint up to her, reaching out to take hold of Warrior's bridle and slowed him down to a halt. 'Jessie, off Warrior now. We need to talk.'

She rolled her eyes as he forced Warrior to halt by stopping Paint, glaring daggers at him. 'No, we don't.'

'Yes, we do.' He replied, trying to be gentle but firm at the same time. He knew he needed to go easy on her but on the other hand she couldn't get away with how she'd been treating her horse. 'There is no need to be treating Warrior like the way you are right now so unless you tell me what's going on, you'll be walking back to the ranch. So you can either hop off now and talk it through or you'll be walking back. It's your choice but Warrior doesn't deserve to be treated the way you've been treating him this whole drive.'

'Fine.' She sighed, dismounting but refusing to look at him as Jack hopped off his horse and stood beside her. 'There's nothing going on. I'm just fine.'

'Really? Because you've been unusually out of character the whole day. Did something happen? Did I say something?' He watched her face for any change of emotion but she didn't make any indication of what was going on with her silence. He thought for a moment, going over the events of the day then it dawned on him. He kicked himself inwardly. Jack Bartlett, you idiot. 'Your annoyance is with me, not Warrior. Isn't it?'

'Yeah.' Jessie breathed with a loud sigh.

'Because of something I said earlier?'

'I was only trying to help Jack.' She still wasn't looking at him, her eyes fixed on an ant crawling across the toe of her boot.

'I see.' He sighed. His hunch had been right. One sentence he uttered without thinking in a slightly harsh tone and all the work he'd done with her had taken ten steps back. It shouldn't have surprised him really, with Jessie's past the slightest thing could cause her to either lash out or break down. This time however she'd chosen to lash out, and he only had himself to blame. It wouldn't have happened if he had been more careful. One moment, one moment of being careless and it had undone everything he'd been trying to do with helping her move forward. 'I'm sorry Jessie, I didn't mean what I said. I know you were only trying to help.'

She didn't say anything for a moment, her thoughts swarming her mind. Thought's she hadn't thought about for a long time brought back to her mind. She'd had a lot on her mind lately, it wasn't just from the events of the morning. 'Why are you men so stubborn sometimes?' She blurted out without thinking, her memories flooding her mind.

'Why are you so stubborn sometimes?' Jessie yelled at Robert, her anger spilling over like a river in flood. 'Why won't you let me help? Look at you. You can't ride a horse anymore, you can't hunt. Let me help you. You need it.'

'I don't 'need' your help.' He snarled, helping himself to another shot of whisky from the bottle on the dusty, dirty coffee table. 'I'm just fine.'

'Your not fine.' She insisted, snatching the bottle away before he could pour himself another drink. 'I know your grieving Lillian, I know you miss her but drinking isn't going to bring her back. It's been two years. She's gone Robert, you need to let her go.'

'Don't tell me what to do.' He got up from his chair, trying to get the bottle back off her but she took it out of his reach and backed away from him. He staggered slightly, a little unsteady on his feet and he had to quickly reach for the chair to steady him. 'Give that back.'

'No.' She yelled back at him, clutching the bottle in her hand. She glared at it then up at him. Ever since Lillian died he'd gotten worse and worse. Lillian was gone, nothing either of them could do would bring her back. She needed him, needed him to actually care about her but all he cared about now was his whisky. It hadn't always been like this, she knew he was a good man, she'd seen that. He was good when he was sober but now he was more drunk then anything else. Her hand tightened around the neck of the bottle then she threw it in a fit of anger against the wall as hard as she could. The bottle exploded, the sour smell of whisky filling the cabin as it dripped down the wall to the floor. She looked back at him, the man somewhat in a daze as he saw what she'd done to his drink. She edged closer to him, carefully. She never quite knew what he would do when he was like this. 'Robert, you're drunk. You need help. Please, let me help you.' She begged, closer to him now. 'I care about you, I want to help you.'

'I don't need you. I don't need your help.' He snarled, then before he knew what he did he slapped her face, staggering back to his chair as the girl stood in shock. He roared at her, even just her presence angered her. 'Go on, get!'

Jessie backed away, her cheek smarting and her thoughts racing. He'd actually hit her. She never thought that was something he would do, even when he was drunk he'd never laid a finger on her. As he exploded in an angry outburst towards her, tears filled her eyes. All she wanted to do was help him, to look after him. Tears ran down her cheeks as she turned and fled from the cabin. She ran to the little stable where Warrior was penned, throwing the split rail's down as she entered. Gathering a lock of his mane she sprung onto his back, digging her heels into his flanks as he leapt forward. She didn't look back.

She came out of her flashback, her eyes glazed and devoid of emotion. She didn't see the look on Jack's face for she was still staring at the ground but if she had she would have seen the look of total remorse and concern on his face. She was just so in the moment of her memories that her words came out without her thinking. It wasn't even entirely related to the events of the morning, it was just something that she'd been bottling up and bottling up for longer and longer till all it had taken was a little trigger like what he'd said to make her break. 'Robert always hated me helping him when he got older. He was so stubborn, he'd refuse help just like you. All I wanted to do was help, to make things easier for him and what did I get in return?' She snapped, her voice rising in volume. Warrior snorted, backing away a couple of steps. She didn't even notice. 'He got mad with me!'

'Jessie, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it.'

'I just wanted to help.' Her bottom lip quivered, a river of emotions from her flashback and mind flooding through her. Jack wasn't Robert, he wasn't Robert. She tried to convince herself. It was different. Jack wasn't like him. Her voice was barely above a whisper, her angry outburst extinguished as quickly as it had come upon her. 'I didn't want you to be upset with me.'

'I'm sorry honey.' He apologized again, placing his arm around her to try and comfort her like he normally did when she was upset. She flinched at his touch, something she hadn't done for a long time since she'd started to trust him and he wondered what memories he'd brought back and how much work with her he'd undone.. She resisted his hold for a moment then accepted it, leaning against him and hugging him back as she sniffled sobs. Surely just that one thing couldn't make her react like this, could it? 'It's okay honey. What's really wrong? What's really going on sweetheart? You can tell me.'

'It's nothing Jack, I'm just fine.' She lied, trying to regain her composure. Could she trust him anymore? Her instincts were telling her to keep her distance, to put up her walls again to protect herself. That's what she did. She pulled away from him with an air of defiance, gathering her horses reins to stop him from backing away anymore. 'These cattle aren't going to move themselves.'

Jack didn't press it, knowing if he did he could undo more of the work and effort he'd put into trying to get her to trust him. He reached for Paint's stirrup, noting that the girl didn't offer to help again as he tried to mount the gelding. He glanced over at her once he was finally in the saddle, the girl was staring straight ahead, refusing to look at him. Jack Bartlett, you can be one heck of a fool sometimes. He hadn't meant to say what he had, he'd just blurted it out without thinking. 'Jessie, I am really sorry.'

'Forget it Jack.' She couldn't keep a slight tinge of snarkiness out of her reply. Saying words didn't make things right. Saying words didn't take things back. All she had wanted to do was help, what was so damn wrong with that? She cursed her memories in her mind, triggered by Jack. Part of her knew it wasn't really his fault. Was this what the rest of her life going to be like? A ride on a torrential river fueled by triggers and memories?