Hi guys

Thank you all so much for the reviews, they mean a lot to me! Thank you for the good eishes for my health and your prayers, you guys have encouraged me so much.

I didnt expect to update again so soon but I want to show you all my appreciation so I'm updating early.

The cattle drive starts in chapter 15, there's still a few storylines to close off before that happens so please be patient. It will be worth it, trust me!

Jessie's healing journey is going to be a long one, it won't happen overnight so we'll have our ups and downs along the way. In response to a review about the girl getting professional help, it has been mentioned before that she is. I just haven't felt the need to actually write up chapters with her and her psychologist ect, I want to keep the momentum up and keep moving through the story...

I'm not 100% happy with this chapter but it'll have to do. Jessie has to meet Dan sometime lol. Might i add i really dislike Dan. He's soooooo annoying! Most of you probably won't get the insults Jessie gives him back lol, I watch a Christian comedian Tim Hawkins and he has a video on YT of Christian cuss words. If you want a laugh, check it out. It's where I got my inspiration. Don't mind my sense of humor lol.

Anyway, enjoy! There's this chapter, the next one where Jessie speaks through whats going on with Lisa then the one after has a long Jisa conversation. I hope you guys arent getting annoyed that not every chapter has Jisa, I want to keep their relationship spaced out like in the series for reasons... You'll find out eventually. Let me just say though I think the wait will be worth it!

Chapter 8.1

'I'm heading to Lisa's.' Jessie remarked coldly as Jack closed the pasture gate behind the cattle. She nudged Warrior into a trot, not even glancing back as she started to ride away. 'Don't save dinner for me, I won't be coming back tonight.'

'Jessie.' The girl halted the stallion, pausing for a moment then glancing back at him upon hearing her name. He walked over to her, leaving Paint grazing by the gate. 'I'm really sorry Jessie, I know that an apology can't take what I said back but I hope you'll accept it. I don't know what memories I triggered or what effect my words had upon you but whatever my actions-'

'Jack.' She interrupted, unable to listen to him anymore. He had no idea and she didn't want to stay to hear his well meaning words. 'Please. Stop. What is done is done. I accept your apology but I need some space. It's not your fault, it's just my mind. You don't know what's going on, you have no way of knowing. I'll be fine. I just need time.'

He nodded, trying not to show his disappointment but knowing he had no one else other than himself to blame. He took a couple steps back to let her go, receiving the message she was sending loud and clear that she didn't want him around her. 'I'll see you tomorrow?'

'We'll see. I'll get Lisa to let you know. Come on Warri.' She nudged him with her heels and the stallion jumped into a slow gallop, quickly leaving him behind. Slowly her anger towards Jack started to abate as she turned the black onto the bridle path leading towards Fairfield. It wasn't his fault. She kicked herself for her reaction, cursing her past that made her act the way she had without even trying. She knew it was the fight or flight response she'd grown so accustomed to following. Jack had no way of knowing what her triggers were, it wasn't his fault. He didn't know. She knew he'd been trying so hard to gain her trust, he'd been so careful and gentle with her yet he'd been careless for one moment and in that one moment he'd hurt her and brought back more things then he knew. She felt terrible and her memories plaguing her mind didn't help to make her feel better. That conversation was the last conversation she'd ever had with Robert. She'd returned later that afternoon, grabbed her rifle and her gear without so much as a 'hello' or 'goodbye' to him and taken off hunting. When she returned- The only way she could help him was to lay him to rest beside his wife. 'If I had stayed boy, I might have been able to stop my father.'

The stallion slowed slightly as the trail turned a corner then continued on again. Jessie leant down over his neck, urging him on, trying to leave her memories and guilt behind. If only he had let her help him- She knew that kind of thinking was hopeless. There was no way she could go back and rewrite the past. There were so many layers to her, so many layers to her pain that no one could understand them fully. So many layers that were upspoken, hidden away in the back of her mind, never to be looked at again. That was, until something triggered those memories.

She recognized that she was getting closer to Fairfield and she slowed the stallion down to a slow canter to let him cool off before she arrived there. She wiped her eyes, her cheeks wet with tears she didn't even know she'd cried. Her hair had worked loose out of its braid, her hair band long gone. Her hat lay on her back by its string where the wind had blown it off her head, she was thankful she'd put a string on it or she'd have lost it for good. Slowly she felt the remainder of her anger leaving her, in its absence greif, fear and other emotions replacing it. She'd been going so well for the last week, she'd only been troubled by the nightmares at night but today she'd totally flipped and taken twenty steps back. She felt ashamed. Ashamed that a few words could have that amount of effect on her. Shouldn't she be stronger? What was the rhyme everyone said? Sticks and stones may break bones but words will never hurt me. What a lie that was. Words hurt, even if they didn't actually hurt by the words themselves, rather the memories they brought back upon hearing them.

Jessie slowed Warrior to a walk as the trail opened out to the pastures of Lisa's establishment and she halted him on the rise just out of the trees. It looked so busy down there, people no bigger than ants hurrying about their work. She glanced down at her phone again, checking the message from Lisa. She'd said her coming over would be fine, she was looking forward to seeing her. Was she really? A basketcase like she was today? Right now she wanted nothing more then to just sit with her, just to be in her presence. She didn't even want to talk, she just wanted to know she was there. She just wanted to be with her. Being with Lisa made her feel better. She urged Warrior into a trot, his long stride quickly eating up the distance between the tree line the stud farm.

Warrior's unshod hooves scraped on the cobbles as she rode into the yard, looking around for Lisa as she patted the stallion and halted him next to the fountain that was in the middle. She couldn't see her anywhere, there were so many people around going about their work. She recognized a couple of the grooms from when Lisa had introduced her to them but they were busy and she couldn't be sure of any of the others. She'd met them, but she couldn't remember who there were. She could feel her anxiety going through the roof as she looked around for Lisa again but there was no sign of her. Where was she? Maybe coming here wasn't such a good idea after all.

'Can I help you?'

She turned at the gruff voice to see a bald-headed man standing a couple of feet away from Warrior. 'I-I' She stuttered, the stallion getting edgy and nervous catching on from her emotions. He shook his head and she placed her hand on his shoulder to calm him in the presence of this strange man. Something about his attitude told her she wasn't welcome here. 'I-I'm looking for Lisa, Lisa Stillman.'

'What would she want with a kid like you?' He looked her up and down, wondering why on earth this kid was asking for her. She didn't look like a kid from any of their social class, in fact he'd never seen her before. 'Well child, explain yourself. Lisa is too busy to be seeing every single horse loving kid that comes traipsing through here looking like you.'

Her eyes stung, threatening to fill with tears again. 'I-I'm J-Jessie. L-Lisa looks a-after me with J-Jack.'

'Jack Bartlett?' The girl nodded. 'That figures. She always had a hankering for strays.' He looked at her. So this was the girl he'd heard the rumors about. Well, she certainly didn't look like much. He might as well save Lisa the trouble of seeing her. Let Jack take care of her. Lisa would thank him later, she didn't need to be concerning herself with this child. It wasn't like it could bring someone they had both loved back. 'She's not here so be on your way.'

'B-But-'

'Move.' He snarled as he went to slap the horse on the rump to get her to leave.

Warrior leapt forward like a coiled spring, teeth bared as the guy tried to force him back. 'No Warri!' Jessie yanked on the reins, turning his head away from the guy just in time to stop him from taking a nice chunk out of the side of his neck. The stallion pawed the ground, snaking his neck as he bellowed. 'Easy, easy.'

'Get that manic animal out of here.' Dan snarled as he kept his distance from the horse, eyeing him warily. 'He's a lunatic.'

'Only to imbecilic morons like yourself, you uncouth cankerous baldheaded buttwipe.' Something inside her snapped. She wasn't playing nice girl anymore. She was angry. Who did this guy think he was? He certainly wasn't one of Lisa's workers, Lisa had introduced her to all of them the last time she'd stayed over. Whoever did this guy think he was? Warrior pawed the ground, the girl struggling to control him and she yelled angrily at the man. 'Don't you have more brains then to treat a horse like that you dillyberry copperpot fartknocker?'

'Jessie! That's quite enough!'

She turned at the voice, biting her lip as she saw Lisa coming over to her. Oh crapola. Lisa looked mad and she cringed, readying Warrior to spin around and make a quick getaway. It wasn't her that she approached though, she marched right past her, straight up to the guy.

'What on earth do you think you were doing?' She snapped, her eyes blazing as she glared at her ex. 'You have no right speaking to her like that.'

'What do you think you're doing, taking in a disrespectful piece of garbage like that kid.'

'Enough!' Lisa's yell echoed around the stableyard causing her stable hands to glance her direction and though she didn't notice, even Jessie shivered. She took a step closer to Dan, finding something inside her she really didn't even know was there. Something inside her ticked, she wasn't going to let him push Jessie around like he had her all those years they had been married. 'You will not talk about Jessie like that. You are not welcome here. Get off my property. I don't want to see you for a very long time.'

He didn't look at her, instead directing his next insult back to the girl. 'Don't plan on sticking around here long, she'll dump you like a ton of bricks once she's finished with you.'

'Get moving Dan! Do I have to spell it out?' She took a step closer, even with her small size she was an intimidating person when she was angry and man, she was very angry. She was even surprising herself, standing up to him. She didn't have a problem standing up to other people but for some reason she'd never been able to stand up to him till only after they'd gotten divorced and never with such ferocity like this. 'Go!'

'Fine, fine.' He put his hands up in surrender, taking a step back. He was shocked. He didn't think she had it in her to stand up to him like that. 'You'll do well washing her mouth out with soap.'

'Only after I finished washing out yours.' Her eyes followed him as he got in his car and headed down the drive, shooting daggers at him. How dare he say those things to Jessie? She turned around, walking over to the girl as Jessie quietened Warrior down. In an instant she went from angry momma bear to sweet gentle Lisa again. 'Jessie, are you okay honey?'

Jessie nodded, biting her lip. 'I'm fine.'

'Come on, let's go inside.' She offered her arms to the girl as she climbed down off her horse and Jessie broke down sobbing. 'It's okay honey, he's gone now. I'm sorry that happened.'

'Who, who was that?' She sniffled, Warrior nudging her with his muzzle.

'That was my Ex, Dan. Capital E, capital X.'

'I can see why he's your ex.'

'Yeah.' Lisa fell silent, holding the girl in her arms. 'I'm sorry you had to meet him like that, he can be a right royal pain in the a-' She quickly corrected herself so she didn't swear. 'backside sometimes but that tops the list.'

'It's okay Lisa.' Jessie looked up at her, seeing she was more upset over her then she was. 'Don't worry about it. It's fine. Heck, if getting shot didn't kill me a few words uttered by an idiot can't hurt me. And anyway-' She wiped her cheeks with a cheeky grin. 'He just got roasted by both of us. That's got to hurt.'

'He did, didn't he.' She chuckled, the girl's rather unconventional insults still fresh in her mind. 'Fartknocker?'

'Don't ask.'

'And cancores baldheaded buttwipe?'

'I didn't know you were listening.' The girl snorted. 'I couldn't swear at him, could I?'

'Don't get too comfortable with that kind of talk missy.' Lisa cautioned though part of her was slightly impressed with Jessie giving Dan a decent dressing down in a rather, unique, way. While it wasn't something she'd condone, she knew firsthand how insulting and degrading Dan could be. It wasn't something Jessie needed to listen to, not after her past. Inside, she was still laughing at the girls insults but on the outside she was trying to be slightly stern and maintain parental control. 'Normally I'd be giving you a little chat about your speech young lady but granted under the circumstances I think you were entitled to a little insult tossing of your own. Just don't make a habit out of it, okay?'

'Okay.' She agreed with a nod, somehow she felt better now. It must have been the satisfaction of seeing the look on his face. 'Somehow, I don't think he'll be coming around here anytime soon.'

'Let's hope not. He's had that coming for a long time. It's just a right royal pain when he's your business partner too.'

'So he's the guy you have to go to France with?'

'Afraid so.'

'Can't you just leave him there?'

'I wish but then I wouldn't have anyone to have a go at then would I?'

'I don't know, I think Val would love to receive a few choice insults from you. The two of them would be perfect for each other. It's a match made in heaven.'

Val can have Dan, maybe then she'd leave Jack alone. She couldn't help but think wishfully. 'Well, matches made in heaven or not you do need to get yourself cleaned up Jessie.' She glanced around for a stablehand, motioning for Linda to join them. 'Linda, can you turn Warrior out into an empty pen and untack him please?'

'Certainly.' The girl handed her the reins and she patted the stallion affectionately. Warrior nickered, blowing on her hands gently. 'Good boy.'

'Thanks Linda.' Jessie called after her, grateful that Lisa had the foresight to have a couple of the grooms get acquainted with the stallion in case they had to take care of him. She looked up at Lisa, sighing heavily. 'It's been a long day.'

She chuckled. 'Come on, a nice long soak in the tub and a nap will do wonders for you.' They headed up the stairs and she couldn't help but wonder where on earth the girl had come up with those hilarious insults. 'Fartknocker?'