Monday morning dawned stiff and painful. Hermione wasn't in agony, but she opted to get up early and go to Madame Pomfrey before classes anyway. When she found Blaise waiting for her in the common room, somehow she wasn't surprised.
"They lifted the safety restrictions, you know," she commented. "We don't have to go everywhere in pairs."
"Far be it from me to want to make sure you don't fall down the stairs," Blaise snorted, taking her elbow to guide her. "Once you can use your hands on the railings again, maybe I'll trust you to get around without hurting yourself."
Madame Pomfrey seemed pleased when she unwrapped the bandages.
"Your skin is healing quite nicely," she said. "And the nerves are showing progress, too. We'll see if we can't keep at it a little while longer and see if we can't at least get that nerve pain to dull to a tingling or a numbness."
Anything other than pain would be an improvement, Hermione thought, watching as Madame Pomfrey applied the salve over her hands and forearms and carefully rewrapped her arms, hands, and fingers. She twitched her fingers afterwards, wincing.
"Transfiguration today," she said. She looked at Blaise hopelessly. "How am I supposed to use my wand?"
Very poorly, as it turned out; Professor McGonagall had them trying to turn turnips into tulips, and it would have been difficult if Hermione had been able to hold her wand properly. She struggled over and over, ignoring the building pain as she fought with her hands to hold her wand and move it precisely, trying to suppress the overwhelming doom of failure she felt building inside her each time she dropped her wand.
"Miss Granger…"
Professor McGonagall came over, looking at Hermione in pity, and Hermione had to fight back tears.
"Maybe another day, when your hands are healed?" she suggested kindly. "I have faith that you would be able to manage the Transfiguration properly if you could move your hands." She smiled. "And you won't be graded on your result until Wednesday."
"Thank you, professor." Hermione bit her lip. "…if you assign an essay today, might I beg an extension?"
It hurt her to even ask, but as McGonagall looked over her bandages, her smile was soft.
"There will be no homework today," she told her. "Rest and heal, Miss Granger."
Though her teacher's reassurance helped a little, Hermione left Transfiguration in a dark mood, Blaise helping her manage the stairs as they headed to History of Magic.
"I couldn't get it," she muttered. "I couldn't get it."
"Well, I couldn't get it either," Tracey said loudly, "and I don't have my hands wrapped up like a mummy's." She gave Hermione a pointed look. "So get over it."
"But I've always been able to get the Transfiguration right on the first try," Hermione argued. "Not being able to is like—it's anathema to me."
"Don't know what that is," Tracey said breezily. "Don't care. All that matters – wait, is that Lockhart?"
It was, indeed, Lockhart, looking over some papers at the front of the room. Immediately, Hermione's bad mood fell away, and her eyes gleamed, though Tracey still seemed distinctly confused.
As the Slytherins and Hufflepuffs filed into the History of Magic classroom, Lockhart gave them all a charming smile.
"Welcome, welcome!" he said, once everyone had arrived. He gave them all a wide grin. "I will be filling in for Professor Binns today!"
The class goggled at him.
"Sir? What happened to Professor Binns?" Ernie Macmillan wanted to know.
"No idea," Lockhart said cheerily. "But I figured you've all learned as much from me in Defense as you'll need to this year in order to pass your exams, so I'll be filling in as History of Magic teacher until the end of the year!" He paused. "Or until Professor Binns is found, I suppose."
"Does Dumbledore know about this?" Hannah Abbot wanted to know, surprised, and Lockhart shrugged, uncaring.
"The Headmaster's still busy at the Ministry, dealing with the Heir of Slytherin business, thanks to our own little budding heroine here!" He grinned and winked at Hermione, who tried not to grimace. "I'll discuss it with him when he returns. But until then, I'm happy to fill in!"
He beamed at them all, before turning to a dusty sheaf of crumbling parchment on the desk and frowning.
"Though, Professor Binns' notes aren't in the best of shape, I'll admit," he said. He looked up. "Does anyone know what you were studying?"
The students all exchanged incredulous looks. It wasn't as if any of them ever paid attention in History.
Hermione raised her hand.
"Professor, we were on the Goblin Rebellion of 1752," she said. "We'd only just started it, so if you start from the beginning and review a little of what we already learned, it would probably work out fine."
Lockhart beamed.
"An excellent suggestion," he said. "Five points to Slytherin for paying attention!"
He swept over to the dusty podium in the corner of the room, dragging it to the front. He charmed the dust off of it and stood in front of it.
"Now, the Goblin Rebellion of 1752," he said, thoroughly ignoring the moldering lecture notes he'd put on the podium. "The rebellion started when it was discovered there were some unscrupulous wand makers helping the goblins work around Clause Three of the Code of Wand Use. Illegal, to be sure, but fairly profitable, I'd wager." He grinned at them, giving them a roguish wink. "I'd bet the goblins were willing to give a lot of gold in exchange for wands, especially back then."
Hermione and Blaise exchanged a look. Hermione was excited, practically vibrating in her seat.
"Clause Three, also known as the 'Wand Ban', says 'no non-human creature is permitted to carry or use a wand'," Lockhart said, writing it out on the chalkboard. He turned back to them. "Who knows where this ban originated?"
The class was practically stunned into silence. They'd never had a History teacher that wasn't droning on in a dull monotone before, let alone be called on in class.
Hermione raised her hand again.
"It was passed in 1631 by the Wizards' Council," she said, once she had been called upon, "but it was largely written as a result of the Goblin Rebellion of 1612."
"Excellent!" Lockhart beamed. "Take another five points for Slytherin." He grinned, giving them a conspiratorial look. "Now, the goblins, rightly infuriated by this ban, set out to work around it, and some black-market wand makers were happy to work with them. Remember, at this period of time, wand lore was still being refined, and wands exploding was still a very common issue, so there were lots of wand makers each trying to master their own methods."
"Wait," Theo Nott interrupted, not bothering to raise his hand. "'Rightfully infuriated'?"
Lockhart raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Wouldn't you be annoyed if you weren't allowed to use your wand anymore?"
"Of course, but I'm a wizard," Theo argued. "They're goblins."
"And they wanted to use wands," Lockhart said, shrugging. "And then the Ministry told them 'no'. So they were upset. Just like you'd be, too."
Theo looked stunned and confused. Hermione couldn't believe what she was hearing, a wide smile spreading over her face.
"So once someone turned the black-market wand makers in, the Ministry decided on a crackdown to stop the flow of wands to the goblins," Lockhart continued. He grinned widely. "But they made a huge mess of it, as we'll see!"
Lockhart went on to detail how the reigning Minister, Albert Boot, had spectacularly mismanaged the crackdown on black-market wand makers, allowing the goblins to get even more wands by looting the wand shops as the wand crafters ran from the Aurors. This led to a more well-armed goblin horde, which frightened the people and forced Albert Boot to resign.
"Remember, the last rebellion had been in 1612, and it was particularly violent!" Lockhart reminded them. "The people of Hogsmeade were particularly terrified by the thought of goblins armed with wands!"
The new Minister, Basil Flack, led a formal, organized assault on the goblins, who had retreated to their burrows. The goblins went to the werewolves, though, allying themselves with the largest packs in the UK, and they teamed up and led a vicious assault two months later on the night of the full moon, wreaking havoc on the Ministry of Magic and other prominent properties. Aurors had been caught off-guard and were frightened to fight back – none of them wanted to risk infection by getting bitten by a werewolf.
The Ministry personnel (as the Ministry building had been taken over by goblins) reconvened in a large private estate and forced the Minister to resign. A new Minister was elected by the Wizengamot instead of the populace, citing wartime concerns for the atypical action, and the new Minister, Hesphaestus Gore, took quick, cruel, decisive action.
Knowing roughly where the largest goblin burrows were, Minister Gore ordered all the lakes and rivers surrounding them poisoned, and the land above the burrows sprinkled with a dry toxin as well. His goal was that the groundwater would turn toxic, making the goblins fall too ill to fight, while the wizards using the same water would simply purify the water with an antidote before drinking or using, distributed by the Ministry to every wizarding household.
Hermione and the rest of the class listened in horror as Lockhart cheerfully described the sick goblins fleeing from their burrows, some of them with skin covered in boils and thick pustules. Mother goblins left their burrows wailing, clutching their sick children to them as they wept and screamed – the poison affected the youngest goblings particularly badly. Desperate to save their race, their leader at the time, Urgsword, had gone to the Ministry alone to parley, despite having been the one to lead the bloody assault on the Ministry prior.
"The Ministry demanded every wand be accounted for and broken by the goblins," Lockhart said. "It must have been a sight, all the affected members of the horde slowly walking up the streets to the Ministry, depositing their wands in front of the Minister, who broke each and every single one." He looked out over the class. "Then, after all the wands were accounted for, the Minister gave Urgsword one flask of antidote to the poison, and he told him to 'use it well'."
"One flask?" Ernie gasped. "For all of the goblins?"
Hermione found it funny that even Ernie was invested in the story.
"One flask," Lockhart asserted. "He said if the goblins were so interested in learning magic, they could reverse-brew it and learn to make it for themselves."
A quick glance saw the entire class looked horrified.
"The goblins retreated to their burrows and tried to figure out the potion, only to discover that the antidote that they had been given only worked on humans, as it was," Lockhart continued. "It was through a formal alliance with the dwarfs of Wales that they were given permission to bathe in their Pools of Healing, which helped cleanse the toxins from their skin."
"Minister Gore was lauded for his success, and the people were pleased," Lockhart said, nodding wisely, "though the goblins were furious and began planning their next revolt. The Ministry had acted cruelly and dishonorably, in their minds, going so far as to attack women and children in a war instead of the fighting forces. There were small revolts by the werewolves in the intervening time, but the next big goblin rebellion didn't happen until 1762."
The bell rang, and Lockhart blinked, then grinned at them all.
"We'll do that one next time then!" he announced. "1762's a fun one – it had a renegade House Elf participate in it, disguised as a goblin!"
The class gathered their things, all with wide eyes and chatting.
"—Binns said a wizard was attacked doing his job; do you think it was a goblin fighting back against an Auror confiscating the wands?"
"How do you even know what Binns said? All I remember was 'Urg the Unclean' – d'you suppose that's another name for Urgsword?"
"I can't believe they would poison children like that, rebellion or not—"
Hermione turned to Blaise, beaming, who rolled his eyes and grinned.
"Did you know he would know History with such detail?" Blaise asked.
"I didn't," Hermione admitted with a smile, "but can you deny he was a vastly more compelling teacher? One who clearly did his research into the subject?"
"Alrght, alright," he said, reaching into his pocket with good humor. He withdrew five galleons and put them in Hermione outstretched hand, the gold bright against the white bandages. "You were right. Is that what you wanted me to say?"
"You knew I was right from the start," Hermione said, grinning. "Otherwise, you wouldn't have been randomly carrying five galleons around."
Blaise only smirked and winked at her, and Hermione left class with her heart feeling light, delighted her plan had worked.
Lockhart teaching History was the talk of the school. Students were gossiping about it all over. Lockhart had apparently taken offense to whatever he'd been supposed to teach the few 6th years who had taken the N.E.W.T.- level class, declaring it 'boring and useless', and had promptly started teaching them about the prelude to the first Wizarding War instead. The 6th years were besieged with questions from younger students, all of them wanting to know what he had said, and Jade ended up giving a mini-lecture to curious Slytherins in the common room that night, repeating what Lockhart had said.
Hermione listened in from the side. She couldn't be more pleased.
As she listened, Draco Malfoy took a seat next to her, giving her a sideways glance.
"Interesting, isn't it?" he said.
"How Lockhart described the lead-up to the war?" Hermione said neutrally. "It is. I bet most of the school has only ever heard about the attacks the Dark Lord led, not the political lead-up with the Ministry banning old rituals and rites before."
Draco looked confused.
"I thought you—you don't support the—"
"Of course not," Hermione sniffed. "But even I can see how the growing political discontent among the populace could lead to a charismatic leader taking advantage of the opportunity to seize power."
Draco continued to look at her, while Hermione listened as Jade continued on.
"Are your hands okay?" he asked finally, and Hermione looked down at her hands.
"Not yet," she admitted. "But they're healing up alright."
Draco nodded, looking relieved.
"Good," he said. "I'm glad."
He continued sitting next to her. After a while, Hermione looked at Draco curiously.
"Was there anything else?" she asked.
"What, I can't just sit here next to you?" Draco shot back.
"You're welcome to; it's just you don't often do," she pointed out. "I was curious about what had changed."
Draco looked torn.
"…my father told me to keep an eye on you," he said finally. "I'm… choosing to interpret that as permission to be closer to you and spend more time with you in general."
Hermione raised her eyebrows.
"Your father puts limits on how much time you can spend with people at school?" she said incredulously. "Draco, does your father have spies within the school reporting on your behavior to him?"
Draco flushed and muttered something that sounded like probably, and Hermione tossed her head.
"Well, so much the better then, I suppose," she said. She gave him a look. "Though you'll need to get out from his shadow sooner or later, you know."
Draco winced. "Yeah. I know."
Jade finished her lecture recap with a promise to tell them what Lockhart covered on Wednesday too.
By the time McGonagall heard Lockhart had abandoned and cancelled his DADA classes in order to teach History, it was too late. When she came to interrupt his first period 4th year History class on Tuesday morning, the class loudly protested when she suggested he return to his previous post. Professor McGonagall had been so surprised by the vehement response that she'd backed off, conceding and saying that he could stay on as History professor until Dumbledore returned to address the matter, and the students had cheered.
And when Snape glared at her in Potions Wednesday afternoon, his arms folded and his eyes sharp and knowing, Hermione offered him a tentative smile with a wince, to which he rolled his eyes and turned away.
Lockhart was annoying and obnoxious and completely incapable of teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts in any meaningful manner. But put into a role where he could tell stories and include interesting details about things that actually happened…
Well. He was actually rather good at it.
Just as Hermione had thought.