Hi guys!

Can you believe it's been a year since I started uploading this story!? Me either, time flies when you're having fun lol.

Went camping (well, with a caravan) this weekend and oh boy, it wasn't the best time of my life. One thing after another went wrong, it was a nightmare so we came back early, limping home since one of the springs holding the axle to the bottom of the caravan decided it would break lol. It was 'fun' to say the least... I'm glad to be back home lol.

Anyway, enjoy! I'll be uploading back-to-back chapters since this is a year milestone of uploading this story! Thank you all so much for being so supportive and staying with me for this story and I have so much more to share with you all!

Chapter 11.1

Jessie headed out to the pen Warrior had been stabled in after she had eaten breakfast so Lisa could go about her business without her around. She looked around the busy yard as she walked across the drive, every time she came here it was almost another world to her. Fairfield was so different from Heartland, it was another world. Fancy thoroughbred mares were being led out to pasture, other horses were being exercised in the arena and hot-walker. It was so busy, there was something happening everywhere she looked.

Warrior neighed as she approached him and she chuckled, unlocking the gate to his pen and walking in. He nudged her, nibbling at her hands. She giggled. 'I don't have anything for you boy, I'm sorry.' She patted his neck and he brushed his muzzle against her cheek. 'How have you been, hey?'

'He's been good.'

She turned at the voice, Linda was there at the fence watching her. She blushed as she turned back to her horse. 'I didn't know you were there.'

'Don't worry Jessie, your secret is safe with me. I talk to the horses all the time. He's had his breakfast, Lisa told me what you normally give him in the morning so I took care of it for you. I brushed him down for you too.'

'Thanks Linda.' Warrior nudged her again and she scratched behind his ears. 'I appreciate you taking care of him for me.'

'Your welcome, I know that Warrior means a lot to you. Lisa told me you're very particular about who looks after him.'

'Yeah. Only the best for my best friend, hey?' She ran her hand over his neck again, her fingers running through his coat. 'Where's his tack?'

'Hanging up in the cupboard in the shelter.' Linda nodded in the direction of the three-sided shed the fence was around. 'I can tack him up for you if you like.'

She shook her head. 'It's okay, thanks for the offer though. I'm waiting for Lisa to finish her phone call so I know what I'll be doing today. Thanks again for looking after him.'

'Your welcome. I'll leave you to it.'

She rubbed Warrior's shoulder as the woman left to go about her work, alone with her thoughts. It had been hard for her to reach the conclusion that Robert wasn't the kind of man she thought he was, and even harder to get out of her memory her false impression of him. For so long she had wanted to believe that things would get better when she was still living with him, for so long she'd tried to convince herself that he did mean it, that he was good but as she thought back on the past she knew in her heart that she had been living a fantasy. It was hard, extremely hard for her to swallow, to come up with that conclusion. For as long as she could remember she held him in high esteem, she'd done everything she could have to try and earn love from him but in the end all she was left with were the emotional scars of allowing herself to get used like that. That was really what happened. He'd used her. All the time growing up she thought he was teaching her what she knew for her benefit when it had really just been cheap labour for him. She sighed, wrapping her arms around Warrior and laying his head against his neck. Coming to this realisation really changed the way she thought of her past.

It was painful to see him for what he really was but in another sense it was almost freeing. She couldn't describe how she felt when she'd made her mind up the night before and had written those passages. Part of her felt terrible that she was betraying his memory because she was seeing him in a different light but on the other hand she didn't feel controlled by her belief that she should have stayed with him instead of running. She closed her eyes, breathing in deep of Warrior's smell. Leaving him, even with how things turned out was the bravest thing she could have done. She didn't deserve that kind of treatment, there was no way of telling what might have happened if things had turned out differently. If she had stayed. She might have still been up there, trapped in a cage she didn't know existed at the time. She'd never wanted to run away when she had been up there because she didn't know of any other life. She didn't know how it felt to be really loved. Now she did and it was the best feeling in the world.

'So, I just got off the phone to Jack.' The girl turned at her voice as she walked through the gate and joined her at the stallion. 'You happy to go back this morning?'

'Yeah, sure.' She replied quietly, patting Warriors shoulder thoughtfully. 'Did, did you tell him about what happened?'

Lisa nodded. 'Yes. I told him. Jack was very understanding Jessie, he's glad you were able to talk to me. He's been worried about you. We both were.'

'I guess I'm still getting used to the fact that someone cares about me.' She smiled with a hint of embarrassment and regret. 'I hope he doesn't feel like I'm shunning him because I can't talk to him like I do you.' The girl turned back to the horse. 'I don't even like talking to you about it sometimes.'

'Why honey?'

'It's just hard for me to talk about my past. I don't want to hurt you. I've seen how much telling you about what has happened to me shook you last night. I guess I want to save you from the truth. It's stupid, I know.'

'Honey, your past is something that we'll have to work together on. You can't do it alone.' She placed her hand on the girl's shoulder. 'I don't want you feeling like you can't talk about your past because you're worried about hurting me. I don't want you worrying about me, I can look after myself but I can't help you if you don't talk to me. Do you understand?' The girl nodded, her head resting against the horse's neck with her back turned to her. 'No more hiding it.'

'No more hiding it.' Jessie agreed after a moment, her voice barely a whisper. A war was still going on inside her however. Her instincts told her that she could trust her but her mind argued that she had thought the same about Robert, Howard, Ruth. She had been so terribly wrong. She turned to her, her hand still on her stallion. 'But Lisa, it's hard for me to learn to trust. You have to understand that too, I have to learn how to trust, how to open myself up again to people. I want to trust you, I do trust you but another part of me tells me I can't. I need you to be patient with me.'

'Of course I will be patient with you. What I'm saying is that I don't want you to be afraid of talking to me because you're worried about how I might feel honey.' She touched the girls cheek gently. 'I love you Jessica, you know I do. I would do anything for you sweetheart. I just want you to be able to put your past behind you and you need to trust me enough to help you. Okay?'

'Okay.'

'Good girl.' She smiled. 'Now, how are we going to get you back to Heartland with this guy? How is he with a trailer?'

Jessie raised her eyebrows, glancing at him. 'That might be something we need to work on. Trailering him to the foster home was a nightmare, it spooked him so bad. Especially the way Howard was when we arrived. Warrior almost trampled him, it wasn't a good experience at all.'

'Oh.' She breathed in deep, giving the stallion a pat. 'How are we going to go with him on the cattle drive then? He's got to be trailed.'

'Lou wants us to take the dude ranch horses to test them out, I don't know if I'll be able to take Warri. I do think we'll need to work with him with the trailer though, especially if I decide to enter the rodeo.'

'So you are still thinking about it?'

'Haven't made my mind up entirely yet, I wanted to see how this guy does around barrels first before I decide.'

'Fair enough. How's he doing?'

'Alright, I guess. I mean, I haven't timed him yet. Amy's offered to help me but-'

'You want to do something by yourself for a change?' Lisa finished her sentence with a question.

'Yeah.' She patted the stallion as he blew softly against her chest. 'I want to do something by myself for a change, prove to myself that I can do something on my own.'

'I believe that you can do it. Have you told Jack yet?'

'Ah, no.'

'Can I ask why?'

'I'm worried I'll make a fool of myself if I do enter and he'll be disappointed in me.' Jessie sighed, patting Warrior's shoulder. ' I don't want to let him down.'

'Jack wouldn't care if you came last honey, he'd still be proud of you regardless of what placing you got.'

'I know.' She sighed again. 'I've just got so much to work through and think about. I'd love to have a break, my mind is running on overtime and it's driving me crazy.'

Lisa chuckled as the stallion nudged her. 'How about we go for a ride and you can clear your mind. I've got a few things this afternoon to take care of but I can ride with you back to Heartland and spend some time with you before heading back here. What do you think?'

'Sounds great.'

'Alright, I'll go grab myself a horse and change into some riding clothes. I won't be long.'

'Okay.' She grabbed Warrior's halter as the woman left the pen and led him towards the shelter. Tying him up she grabbed a brush Linda had left and began giving him a quick once over. 'What do you think boy, do we try going in the rodeo?'

He knickered softly, rubbing up against her and she chuckled. 'I don't know if that's a yes or a no boy.' The stallion blew softly on her, nibbling at her jacket. 'Is that a yes?' She sighed, turning to him and scratching him behind his ears. 'I guess we'll just have to wait and see. I really really want to do it but-' Her voice trailed off as she resumed grooming the horse. 'I guess we'll just wait and see what happens. There's plenty of time to decide and anyway-' She raised her eyebrows with a sigh. 'I have a lot already to think about.'

She finished grooming the stallion down then grabbed tack and placed it down ready to tack him up. The halter with 'Fairfield' stamped on it was taken off, replaced by his western bridle that the stallion allowed to be put on him after a few moments. She chuckled, slipping the headstall over his ears. Sometimes he could be a little reluctant to take the bit and today had been one of those days. A gentle encouragement with her thumb in the side of his mouth prompted him to accept the bit without further trouble. 'Good boy.' She scratched his cheek as she did the throat latch up, holding onto the reins with her other hand so they didn't get muddied in the dirt. The stallion sidestepped at her prompt so she could get his saddle and she placed his saddle blanket on, checking to make sure that it was on properly then she swung the heavy saddle up onto his back. The stallion nudged her gently as she did his front cinch up then made sure that his flank cinch was secure enough so the saddle didn't pitch forward if she had to stop Warrior suddenly.

'You almost ready to go?'

'Yep.' She glanced around as Lisa stopped a flaxen chestnut gelding near the gate. 'Just gotta put his breastplate on and we're ready to go.'

'Great.' She patted the gelding as the girl finished her last minute adjustments to the stallion's tack then stepped back with her horse so they could get through the fence. Steadying the gelding, she mounted then waited for the girl to do the same. 'Jack said he was out checking the cattle in the south pasture, I thought maybe we could go join him. At least for a little bit anyway, I won't be able to stick around for too long.'

Jessie nodded as they rode out of the yard towards the bride paths. 'You looking forward to the cattle drive?'

'Time out in nature, with my two favorite people? I couldn't think of anything better.' She chuckled, gently urging the gelding into a trot. 'I just hope my surprise for Jack will arrive in time.'

'Surprise?' The girl asked with a hint of curiosity. Warrior shook his head then jumped forward to keep pace with Lisa's horse and she had to steady him so he wouldn't break into a canter. 'Easy boy, we'll have our run don't you worry.' She glanced over at Lisa once the stallion had settled down. 'You haven't mentioned anything to me. Can I be let in on the surprise?'

'Can you keep a secret?'

'Can I keep a secret?' She repeated with a chuckle. 'Lisa, you know I can. I'm dying to know what this 'surprise' is so just tell me!'

'Okay, okay.' Lisa laughed at the girl's enthusiasm, glad to see a smile on the girl's face. 'I brought Jack a new saddle.'

'Ain't he a lucky guy?' Jessie teased, noting a slight color of red touching the woman's cheeks. 'So when are you going to give it to him? Make him wait till Christmas?'

'Well, if it gets here in time I'll give it to him for the cattle drive. I went with him on the Fall roundup and he was complaining about his arthritis mucking up so this saddle I've got is supposed to help especially with riding for long periods of time like he does.'

She raised her eyebrows. 'You sure he won't take offence?'

'I hope not. One thing I've learned about Jack Bartlett is that he can be rather stubborn sometimes.'

'So can you.' The girl teased with a cheeky grin. 'I hope he does like it though.'

'I hope so too.' The chestnut shied at something on the path and she quickly brought him to a halt, her hand on his shoulder. 'Woah, easy Treasure.'

Jessie looked around suspiciously as Lisa calmed the gelding down, Warrior looking intently at some bushes on the left hand side of the trail. She placed her hand on his neck, trying to read his body language. His muscles were somewhat tense but not like he was about to bolt. She looked at the bush again but there didn't seem to be anything out of the ordinary about it. 'You okay Lisa?'

'Yeah, I'm fine. Easy boy, easy.' The gelding threw his head up again as he sidestepped before finally halting and she patted his neck. 'Good boy, easy. Nothing to be afraid of.' She looked over at Jessie. 'You see anything?'

'No, something spooked him though. Warrior's a little edgy but he's not over the top. It might have been a squirrel or something. If it was dangerous, Warrior would certainly let me know about it.' The stallion took a couple steps forward, cautiously dropping his head to the ground and sniffing the dirt. 'What is it boy?' He snorted then stepped back, nodding his head up and down. 'Easy boy.'

'Let's just keep going, hopefully whatever it was won't spook this guy again.'

'He still looks a little edgy.' She remarked as they started back down the trail again, the chestnut tossing his head as Lisa tried to hold him in at a trot. 'Is he normally like that?'

'He's still pretty young and inexperienced, he's only a three year old.' The chestnut tossed his head again and she finally relented, letting him break into a canter. 'He's just retired off the track, he's going to be retrained and sold as a trail horse once he's ready.'

'Maybe some desensitizing might be on the cards for that guy.'

'My trainer has been working with him on that, he's still learning.'

'Fair enough.' The girl glanced up the hill as they came out of the trees. 'Can he still race?'

'Are you challenging me to a race?'

'Maybe.' Her eyes sparkled. 'On three?'

'One, two-'

'Let's go Warri!' She nudged him in the flanks and the stallion shot forward, the gelding right on his tail.

'Hey, not fair.' Lisa complained with a laugh, urging the gelding on. The thoroughbred stretched out, taking her breath away by his speed. She couldn't remember the last time she'd ridden this fast, it took her back to when she'd been training horses for her father as a young adult and when she'd been a jockey. She leant forward over the horse's neck, urging him on as she grinned at the thrill of a race. 'Come on Treasure, you can make it boy.'

The girl laughed as Warrior pulled away from Lisa's gelding, the space in between them lengthening. One length, two lengths. She could hear the horse galloping behind her, urging Warrior on faster. If that was the top speed of that horse, no wonder he'd been retired. Warrior wasn't even straining and he was a mile ahead.

The trail intersection came into view down the path and she started to slow Warrior down, hearing Lisa doing the same. Her eyes sparked, the stallion finally coming to a halt at the crossroads and she turned him around to wait for Lisa. The woman pulled up beside her, her hair blown loose and breathless. She chuckled. 'Good race.'

'You started before I said go.' She playfully teased her as they let the horses rest for a moment. 'Your as bad as Jack. He always does that whenever we race.'

'I'll take that as a compliment.'

'Jessie.' She shook her head, grinning. 'You are really something.'

'I am, aren't I?' The woman chuckled and she smiled mischievously. 'Just you wait Lisa, there's a lot you don't know about me yet.'

'I can see that.' She played along but she knew the girl was right. There was an awful lot about her that she had no idea about. 'I think they've rested enough, Jack will be wondering where we are.'

'Do you mind if I run Warrior on ahead and meet up with you and Jack? I want to practice some barrels with him.'

'Sure. Where have you been practicing? Out of curiosity.'

'Just in the clearing not far from the ranch. Where Amy has her cross country course.' Warrior jumped into a canter at the gentle nudge of her heels in his flanks. 'Come on boy, let's go.'