Aftermath
By Ann3
Writer's Note: Awwww, thanks so much for the reviews, and the welcomes ! It really is good to be back !
Okay then, here's chapter two - more to follow as soon as RL allows !
Chapter Two
Damage Control
If there'd been a previous record for reaching the Infirmary, then John Sheppard had just shattered it.
He'd been quietly dreading this moment, of course, since their skin-of-their-teeth escape two days ago, but – dear God, staring down at his lifeless, stricken friend, he'd not expected it to come so violently, or so sickeningly, as this.
The whys and wherefores, the inevitable tackling of his conscience, though, would have to wait. Damage control, on so many levels and in every conceivable sense, had to come first. The daunting fight to save Carson Beckett's brutalised mind took priority over everything else.
He was powerless, of course, to bring his friend through the medical side of that fight. That unenviable task lay with Dr Kate Buchanan as she worked, remarkably calmly, at Carson's side.
Beneath that calmness, though, silent fury burned. She had no idea where the ongoing bane to her CMO's overloaded conscience was right now. Kate didn't know if Michael was even alive. Quite frankly, all Hippocratic duty aside, she didn't care. All she cared about right now was the lifeless, silent husk of humanity which his brutal spite had left behind.
The extent of the damage which he'd inflicted wouldn't be known for several hours yet. But for now, at least, Carson Beckett lay safely beyond the reach of its latest, insidious threat. Surrounded by banks of protective monitors, he lay oblivious to everything, and everyone, around him.
Much of that oblivion came from the sedation which now held him, very gently, in its deepest refuge. Beyond its healing mantle, though… well, Kate really didn't want to consider that thought just yet.
Instead, re-checking those vital monitors, she then finally met two anxious, identically terrified faces – making a point of squeezing Laura's shoulder while offering her what few words of comfort she could.
"He's stable now, lass, an' sleeping at peace… he's alright, nothin' can hurt or torment him now…"
Somehow, though God alone knew from where, Laura Cadman managed to find a faint smile in return. Beyond its façade, though, the silent fear in her eyes betrayed the bombshell she knew was coming.
"It's bad, though, isn't it…?" she finally whispered, not even trying to hide that fear from her voice. "I – I mean, he just wouldn't respond to me, Kate, however much I tried to bring him round, and… it's bad… whatever that bastard's done to him, to - to leave him like this, it's – it's bad… isn't it…?"
Trading the briefest of 'go ahead' nods with John Sheppard, Kate then nodded in resigned acceptance. Sugar coating it under layers of false hope wouldn't make this ongoing nightmare any easier to handle.
"Aye, lass… yes, I'm afraid it is… Carson has suffered a severe mental trauma… his mind has virtually shut down, taking him physically with it..." she said at last – pausing once more, trying to find a way to put that trauma's cause into coherent, understandable terms.
"He knew that Michael would torture him, if necessary, to make him reveal Colonel Sheppard's plans. And as a doctor, Carson knew how vital it would be to protect his mind from such awful, terrible pain. Faced with something he'd never experienced, he knew he had to defend himself as best he could…"
"You mean like a failsafe…?" John Sheppard chipped in, wincing slightly at this cruellest of ironies. In being so brutally forced to reveal one such measure, one of his closest friends now lay equally helpless within another
Kate Buchanan's gentle, typically no-nonsense reply reassured and appalled him in equal measure
"Aye, lad, that's right. My guess is that he's tried to block out the trauma of being tortured, and…"
"…and now he's remembering it… re-living it through these nightmares…" Laura concluded softly – swallowing hard, against her own, still painfully raw memories, as she voiced the next, unavoidable question.
"This is just the start, though, isn't it…? These nightmares will keep coming… they'll get worse, until…"
"…he lets those defences down and lets himself remember…" Kate finished for her, smiling gently – giving Laura's shoulder a heartening squeeze with one hand while the other stroked back Carson's hair. "Aye lass, I'm afraid so… and for them to come all at once… well, it's too much for him to cope with. That's why I've sedated him so deeply, to stop whatever triggered those memories from reaching him. I want to keep him at complete rest, both physically and mentally, for at least the next forty eight hours. Hopefully by the time he wakes up, he'll be strong enough to face them under closer, medically contained control…"
It was one hell of an assumption to make, of course, with so many difficult issues still to resolve.
But as she watched Laura and John settle into their shared vigil at Carson's side, Kate could still smile. Whatever horrors Carson Beckett still faced in this nightmare, in the long and difficult days to come – well, at least he wouldn't face them, or their consequences, in the greater horror of facing them alone.