Aftermath
By Ann3
Writer's Note: I've just realised something - shock horror, we've not had any whumpage for the last several chapters !
Well, that's all about to change... you have been warned...!
Chapter Eleven
Mind Games
Five minutes. It had lasted for five minutes now, this unnervingly silent stillness. And it showed no sign of ending. Even when movement finally came to the motionless figure beside them, its cause only served to silently horrify.
Still gently held within Laura's grip, Carson's left hand suddenly jerked, sliding down to the edge of his bed. On its opposite side, in front of John Sheppard's quietly sickened eyes, his right hand followed suit.
At the other end of his bed, his left ankle slid fitfully to its corresponding corner, as did his right.
Then stillness once more, more silence – finally broken by John Sheppard's soft curse of bitter realisation.
"Oh, jeez, this – this is how we found him… in the reversion tent, strapped down on its treatment bed…"
Having been spared that horrifying discovery, Rodney McKay now stared across at him – stunned eyes darting between the grim anger on one face and the emotionless stillness of another.
Locked into subconscious restraints, Carson Beckett lay silent in front of him, completely helpless – the sudden rapidity of his breathing, the expression of utter defeat on his face, merely hinting at the brutal torment to come.
As realisation dawned, Rodney's face paled still further – his voice choked into a horrified whisper.
"You – You mean he's re-living it…? Now...? Here…? He's – He's gonna re-enact the whole thing…?"
A hand that had slapped him so light-heartedly before now settled onto his shoulder, lending what comfort it could as John Sheppard tried to prepare one friend for the suffering of another.
"Yeah, Rodney, he is… and we both know how bad it's gonna be… but remember, he wants to do this. Carson needs to remember what happened to him down there, Rodney, so he can put it behind him…"
As Rodney nodded in shaky agreement, John moved onto another pale faced member of his team – quietly grateful that Laura Cadman had already anticipated what he'd started to so gently suggest.
"He's gonna get pretty agitated from here, Laura, and… well, he'd hate to think he'd accidentally hurt you, so…"
Not trusting herself to speak, Laura just nodded instead while softly kissing the top of Carson's head. Quickly stealing another, she then moved from his shoulder to another, more safely distant chair next to his hand. Wrapping it very gently into both of hers, she was clearly determined to hold onto it – no matter what.
Aware, in a grateful smile, of her CO re-taking his seat beside her, she then glanced to her other side – quietly asking Kate Heightmeyer the question which now dominated five other anxious minds.
"Can – Can he still hear me, Kate...? I – I mean, does he still know I'm here…?"
"Yes, Laura, he knows you're still here… and he knows how important that is…" Kate replied gently, drawing her own strength from John Sheppard's rallying words even as she quietly echoed them. "Whatever's about to happen, Laura, you need to remember why Carson's doing this… okay…?"
Nodding back at her, albeit shakily, Laura then returned anxious eyes to the still face beside her – bracing herself for the already familiar nightmare which Kate Heightmeyer now set into motion.
"Carson, you've gone awfully quiet… are you alright…? Where are you…?"
Several anxious moments passed as Carson's mouth laboriously moved, forming soundless words. Even when his voice finally made itself heard, its helpless, stricken terror was still pitiful to hear.
"T – T'nt… b'd…"
"Alright, Carson, that's good… you're starting to remember now, you're doing just fine... now, can you move on this bed…?"
A faint sob escaped from him this time, terror now etching deep into his face as Carson shook his head
"N – No, 'm… 'm tied 'nto it… str'ps on my h'nds, an'… an' ankles… c – can't m've…"
"Alright, Carson, I know you're scared now, but I want you to tell what's happening around you… look around in your mind, Carson, and tell me what's happening… what you can see and hear…"
Another worryingly long silence, before the stricken voice made another fearful re-appearance.
"T – Talkin'… tryin' to – t' keep him talkin'… have to – to hol' on, jus'… jus' a wh'le l'nger…"
As puzzled glances gave way to realisation, it was left to Rodney McKay to vocalise its significance.
"The – The shields, right…? Those mind shields you talked about, he's – he's raising them up…"
There was a Star Trek quip in there, he knew, but… dear God, this was hardly the moment for it. Instead, John Sheppard just nodded, promising himself the comfort of that ongoing joke for a safer, happier time.
Watching this silent raising of truly desperate defences, he marvelled, yet again, at Carson Beckett's incredible, so unfairly unlauded courage.
That quiet courage had already brought him through one of the most traumatic experiences of his life. Had enough of it survived, though, John Sheppard now uneasily wondered, to bring him through another…?