Disclaimer: If you want to live in a world where I own the creative rights to Red Dwarf - you must be madder than I thought!

Well what do you know - The end wasnt 'The End'! I knew this when I posted the 'last' chapter but I thought i'd give you all the illusion it was over whilst I wrote the epilogue...But as I skipped starting my politics essay today I got it finished relativly quickly... And sorry about the semi cliffhanger - I just couldn't decide what I wanted to happen! - But I got the light bulb talk in! (you'll see). Anyway, now fanfiction has stopped been a git, read on and review the final installment of the fic! (Though I doubt I'll get much of a review from Bex apart from 'Lister ain't dead! giggles fanatically' - but nevermind)

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Epilogue

"Play." Rimmer said once he was sure the others had left the room. He wasn't sure what he was expecting from the black box recording that had tracked his JMC indent code for God knew how long, but one thing was for sure – He wasn't expecting this…

"This is the final Black Box recording of the Jupiter Mining Corporation vessel 'Starbug'. Present is Second Technician and acting Flight Coordinate Arnold J Rimmer. Acting weapons expert and co-pilot, Brina. Acting mechanic, Demi. & acting pilot and sometimes captain…Cat.

We hope this is you watching Arnold, as we set it to respond to your pass code only. But if the rest of you are watching…Hopefully you've all fainted too…Except you of course Arnold-"

"I wouldn't hold your breath!"

"Shhhh Uncle Arnold!"

"Right…As I was saying…I didn't want…Well myself to watch this…Um…Our current and final mission is to prevent the simulant ship we will be meeting in combat in…How long?"

"Two Minutes dear."

"…Fantastic – Anyway, stopping the simulant ship from attacking you and thus killing Lister and Kryten. You and…Well me, survive, but…Things happen. This is Brina…My mate, we rescued her from the rest of the simulants as she was treated as a traitor-"

"Excuse me – But who rescued who now?"

"Ok, the rescuing notion is up for discussion…And this is Demi – Our kid."

"Hiya! Demi means half! Half feline, half humanoid! Isn't that fantastic?"

"…Quite… We managed to come back to this point in time from 10 years into the future with the use of a 'Slip Stream Drive' this prevents our timeline from been erased once we have changed yours... If we don't get killed in the attack we will use the drive to go back to Earth or somewhere like that…If we do get killed…Well that's that then."

"...Sorry to break up this morbid and surreal moment but they have a lock on."

"How can they Arnold? – Brina! You said we had two minutes."

"Ok I was a little off!"

"Great! If I swing her round hard to stern can you get a hit to their fuel tanks before they blow us to bits?"

"Have I ever disappointed you before?"

"Nope, but I sure hope you don't start now babe!"

"So do I!"

"Incoming!"

"FIRE!"

"PAUSE!" Rimmer shouted out, his voice much shriller than intended. He held his hand out and found that it had begun shaking. He didn't want to know what happened…He just didn't think he wanted to know…Suddenly a noise outside the room distracted him. Rimmer moved to the door and opened it to find Cat sat down against the wall to the side of the door; his head was turned away from him.

"Cat?" He said softly, unsure about how to treat the feline for the first time…Well ever. But the pair of them on the recording seemed…Well friends!

"Hmmm?" Came Cat's subdued reply.

"Are…You ok?"

"Ok?" Came the suddenly bitter reply. "Of course I'm not ok! I…I…I'm letting my coat get all dusty!" He said with a stutter as he jumped to his feet, quickly wiping tears from his eyes.

"Yeah. Sure!" Rimmer shot back, surprised at how easy it was taking to Cat via an argument. "And I suppose Lister sent you up here to spy on me – Find out about MY message?"

"I couldn't give a smeg about it! I just came to change a light bulb in the corridor so I got the full impact of my reflection from the mirror under it!" Cat retorted, suddenly picking up a light bulb so as to prove his point, before flinging it to the ground, obviously causing it to shatter into many, many pieces.

"That's not how you change a light bulb you retarded moggy! I can't believe any intelligent woman would look twice at you! You're no better or more evolved than the cats they had on Earth!" Rimmer waited for some angry response or an insult…But instead Cat just picked out another light bulb from a bag next to him and laughed as he began to slot it into place.

"How many 'Earth' cats does it take to change a light bulb?" He asked with a sad smile.

"What?" Rimmer snorted with confusion. "Is this some kind of joke?" Gaining just a slight shake of the head from Cat. "…How many?" Rimmer said after a minute, wondering where this was going.

"None. Because 'Earth' cats weren't evolved enough to have opposable thumbs." Cat replied as he picked up the bag and began to move off along the corridor.

"Cat...I'm sorry." Rimmer called after him, cringing at how hollow the words sounded.

"For what?" Cat said, not turning round.

"…For not caring." He said with a sharp intake of breath, thinking back to his words a few days before. But Cat just shrugged his shoulders and slunk off down the corridor. Rimmer sighed heavily and went back into the room.

"…Arnold?" Cat's breaking voice called back suddenly, caching Rimmer with surprise.

"Uh, yeah?"

"Don't…Don't tell me what happens…"

Rimmer waited a few more moments till he was sure Cat had gone before turning his attention back to the paused screen.

"…Delete recording." Maybe it was just better if neither of them knew…