Aftermath

By Ann3

Writer's Note: After all the whumpage, the end of it is finally in sight for Carson, hence this chapter's title. It's also a wee tip of the hat to Paul McGillion's first appearance in the world of Stargate, as the young Ernest Littlefield in SG1's The Torment Of Tantalus. I just thought the title would work nicely here.

As always, I hope you enjoy !

Chapter Fifteen

Tantalus

If their emotions had been rollercoasters, then six exhausted souls had just taken the ride of their lives.

Only minutes ago they'd been laughing out loud, enjoying welcome respite from its dizzying dips and switches. Sleepily lovelorn mumbles over Laura Cadman's unique, pillowy assets had been the tonic they'd all sorely needed. Even Ronon, caught up in the relief of the moment, had found it impossible to keep his face straight.

But now that same sleepily guileless voice had taken them back onto that crazily unpredictable ride – reminding them, in such irony, that life in their already jeopardized city had just become a lot harder.

"He – He's makin' me talk aga'n… makin' me t'll him 'bout th' shield, an'… an' how it's pow'red…"

As if sensing the collective dismay around him, Carson then winced, fretfully shaking his head.

"I – I mus'n't… mus'n't t'll him… mus'n't tell him… mus'n't…."

For Laura Cadman, this near frantic chant of brutally subdued defiance was just as cruelly familiar – the nightmare which had triggered Carson's breakdown, now played out yet again in front of her. Her only tenuous comfort was that Kate Heightmeyer had no intention of letting it continue.

"It's alright, Carson, I know how much he hurts you when you resist him, so I don't want you to try… just try to relax now… it's alright, you're perfectly safe, you're just remembering what you told him... just relax now, Carson, it's alright… it's alright, you're perfectly safe now… just let your mind remember…"

Even as he gradually settled again, the pained wince on Carson's face, if anything, grew even deeper – the slurred hoarseness of his voice merely hinting at how rapidly his strength was running out.

"He – He's st'pped now… leavin' me 'lone… callin' to s'meone to – to guard me…"

"…while he defuses the bomb… he must leave Carson at this point…" John Sheppard cut in softly, meeting Kate's eyes with the same realization as Carson fell back, once more, into exhausted silence. "I think that's it, doc… when we took out those guards and found him, Carson was left alone in the reverting tent and Michael was gone…"

"Carson was also unconscious, as he would be after such prolonged torture…" Teyla agreed just as quietly, that horrifying discovery still raw in her voice as she re-met the eyes which had shared it with her. "I agree, Colonel Sheppard… Carson has told us everything now… it is, as you say, over…"

Nodding agreement, Kate Heightmeyer then leant forward in her chair to gently take Carson's hand – the faint, racing pulse she found there confirming that the end to his ordeal couldn't come a moment too soon. Re-living his ordeal had tested Carson Beckett's strength and courage to their absolute limits.

She had to be sure first, though. Completely sure that no further threats to it lurked within his mind.

"What's happening now, Carson, can you tell me…? Where are you…? What's happening to you…?"

He barely had the strength to form the words now – his voice barely rising above a shaking whisper.

"'akin' up… J'mper…T'yla…"

A rambling tumble of barely coherent words, but they'd still told Kate Heightmeyer all she'd needed to know.

"He's remembered everything he needs to… I can start to bring him back now…" she announced, trading glances with another quietly worried doctor as Kate Buchanan worked with practised calm over her patient. "It's taken a lot out of him, though, much more than I'd anticipated, so that has to take priority. I know how much Carson needs to know what happened to him, but he really needs to rest first…"

Met with a succession of relieved yet equally weary nods, she then turned back to Carson – preparing to bring him of his nightmare a damn sight more quickly than she'd taken him in.

"Alright, Carson, you've done really well… really well, Carson, you've done all you've needed to… I'm going to bring you back now, but I know you're really tired… yes, I know you just want to sleep, Carson, so you'll wake up and see that Laura's with you, then you'll go straight back to sleep again, okay…?"

As Carson nodded, too exhausted to reply, Kate began the gentle process of returning him to reality – a slow ten-count, coaxing him awake, until heavily closed eyes flickered gingerly open in response.

No sooner had they done so, struggling to focus on a beautiful yet so palely anxious face beside him, then they closed again. His last awareness was of gentle kisses on his hand, the puzzling sound of soft crying, before he sank back into depthless darkness.