Hi all,

I know I'm very late in updating and I do apologise. I habent been well physically or mentally for some time and even doing the things I love such as writing this story hasn't been able to be done. I do apologise for the long wait. I hope to start updating regularly soon, once I'm in the frame of mind to be able to..

Anyway, enjoy

Chapter 37.1

The repairs to the barn were really starting to take shape late in the afternoon when Jessie went back out to check over the horses and have a look around. Lisa had insisted that she get herself some rest and she'd been ordered to bed to get some sleep now that they knew Jack was going to be okay. Lou had rung just over an hour ago, letting them know that they would be home soon and a smile came across her face as she looked at the people hard at work fixing the barn. Lisa had omitted telling them about what was happening, deciding to leave it as a surprise for them and she knew they were definitely going to be surprised.

As she walked around the barn to the pen where Pegasus was she steered clear of everyone working, not wanting to get in the way. She saw Ty in the loft as she went past, even Mallory was hard at work, helping any way she could. She glanced back at them as she reached Pegasus's pen, waving at Mallory when she caught her eye.

'How are you going boy?' She asked, turning her attention to the gelding. Pegasus snorted softly, nudging her as she walked into his pen. She glanced in his water and feed buckets, he still didn't appear to be eating or drinking much and she frowned. 'Your not feeling too good, are you?'

'How is he?'

'Still hasn't eaten or drunk much.' Jessie sighed, turning to Lisa and she walked over to her. She looked back at the gelding as he went back to sleep. 'Is Scott here?'

'I think he checked him over earlier, I'm not sure.' She clicked her fingers but Pegasus ignored her. 'He is an old horse.'

'That's why I'm worried. He was in the barn the longest, he would have breathed in the most amount of smoke.' She replied, leaning back against the gate. 'I should have gotten him out sooner. He should have been the first out.'

'Jessie, you did what you thought best at the time.' She said gently, knowing the girl would blame herself if Pegasus got really sick. 'You saved Jack and you got all the horses out. There wasn't anything else you could do.'

'I know. I just keep thinking about it you know, what I could have done differently-'

'But you can't change what has happened honey. You can't dwell on things, wishing you could change them.'

'Yeah.' Jessie sighed again, glancing around as she heard footsteps behind her. 'Hi Scott.'

'Hey Jessie, Lisa.' He acknowledged, joining them at the pen. 'Has he eaten anything?'

'No, he hasn't drunk much either. I tried sweetening his water with honey and a little epsom salt to try and encourage him to drink but he just doesn't seem to want to. He breathed in a lot of smoke.'

'I've given him some stuff to try and help him breathe easier and help his airways, it takes awhile to kick in though.'

'I looked after a horse with smoke inhalation once, I gave her a tea with mullein, thyme, peppermint, nettles and licorice plant, it helped her get better. Would that be okay to give him?'

'It's worth a shot, those herbs won't interfere with the medication I've given Ty to give him.'

'Alright, I'll see if I can make some up then.'

'I better get back to work.' He motioned behind him at the barn. 'But I'll check him over again before I leave.'

'Okay. Thanks Scott.'

'How's Warrior?' Lisa asked after Scott left, glancing towards the pasture where the girls stallion was. 'Is he alright?'

'Yeah, he's okay. Scott checked him over after the fire and gave him the all clear.' She opened the gate and walked out, making sure that it was closed behind her securly. 'You want to come see him? I was going to go check him anyway.'

'Sure, I'll come with you.' She nodded, joining Jessie as she headed to the paddock. 'Maggie was saying that they should be nearly finished fixing the barn by tonight with the exception of a few small things.'

'They really have worked hard on it.' Jessie agreed, looking back at the barn as they continued around to the pasture. 'I can't believe how much they've got done in a single day.'

'I know. It's really something.'

They fell silent, each absorbed in their own thoughts as they went to the pasture. Lisa opened the gate for the girl, closing it behind her as Jessie went to meet her horse. She smiled as Warrior cantered up to her, the girl smiling as she patted him once he'd come to a stop beside her. 'How are you going Warrior?'

'He's going good.' She replied, scratching his neck. Warrior snorted, walking forward to meet Lisa and she chuckled. 'Hey!'

'Hi Warrior.' Lisa laughed, the stallion nibbling at the front of her jacket as he greeted her. 'Looks like he's got a new favorite.'

'Apparently.' She went over to them, patting her horse while he directed his attention to Lisa. 'I'm not going to be able to ride him for a couple more days yet, could you exercise him for me?'

'Sure. I'd be happy to.'

'Brilliant.' The sound of a truck pulling up behind her made her turn around and she smiled as she saw it was Jack's truck. She nodded down at the ranch yard, her and Lisa half-way up the hill in the pasture. 'Look who's back.'

'Hey Jack.' Maggie waved, walking to meet them as Jack and the two girls got out of the truck. 'Oh, it's so good to see you.'

'Come here.' Lou exclaimed, initiating a hug.

'This is amazing.' Amy remarked, looking around at everyone working on repairing the barn.

'I don't know what to say.' Jack added.

'Oh, come on now Jack. That's what community's for.' She turned to him with a smile. 'To pull together, help out. No way we were gonna stand by and see Jack sell even one of his beloved acres, especially to Val Stanton.'

'What?' Lou questioned. 'When did that ever come up?' She turned to Jack, not realizing that Val was walking up behind her. 'Grandpa, you would never sell to Val? Of all people!' She saw the look he gave her and turned around to see Val standing behind her. 'Oh, hi Val.'

'Hi Lou.'

'Um, do you wanna-' Amy motioned to Lou towards the barn, giving her a way out of the awkward situation she had put herself in.

'Yeah.'

'Hard to keep a secret around here.' Jack started as the two girls followed Maggie to the barn.

Val chuckled, shaking her head. 'Whatever. Jack, I just wanted to say how glad I am to see you out of the woods.'

He nodded. 'I wanted to thank you for coming to me first with your proposal.'

'Well, as if I wouldn't.'

'Yeah, I know. And I thought about it real hard, but I've decided to hang onto this place, every inch of it for as long as I possibly can. It's just something I promised I'd do, a very long time ago.'

'Ok Jack.'

He nodded, turning to go thank the people who had come to help when something out of the corner of his eye caught his attention. Lisa. She was standing in the pasture with Jessie and Warrior, waving to him once she saw he was looking in her direction then she said something to Jessie. He started over to the paddock gate, the girl running ahead of Lisa to meet him. He was barely inside the gate when she reached him, wrapping her good arm around him. 'Woah, hold on there young filly. You trying to knock me over?'

'I'm so glad you're back.' Jessie exclaimed, closing her eyes as Jack hugged her back. 'You had me so worried.'

'I know honey.' He looked down at her, touching her cheek gently. 'I'm sorry. I gave you all quite the scare.'

'That you did. Just don't go doing it again. Please.'

'I'm not planning on it.'

'So what's the verdict?' She asked, opening her eyes and looking up at him as she let go. 'How long till you're back to your old self?'

He chuckled but he could see the worry and concern in her eyes. 'Well, I feel fine but I highly doubt Lou is going to be letting me out of her sight for some time. They only let me out because she promised that she would keep a close eye on me and I've got to go back for some tests in a couple days.'

'I guess the pair of us can keep each other company then and drive each other crazy. I'm not doing much with this shoulder the way it is for a few more days.' She glanced around as Lisa walked over, deciding that she would finish her conversation with him later. They needed some time together and she needed some time to process her thoughts. 'I think there is someone who is as equally pleased to see you. I'll leave you two to catch up.'

He looked up, seeing Lisa approaching as Jessie left, walking to meet her. 'Lisa! I thought you were still in France.'

'Surprise cowboy.' She exclaimed, embracing him warmly then gave him a kiss on the lips. He smiled at her as she pulled away and he kissed her back, holding on tight to her. 'I was so worried about you.'

'I'm okay Lis. I'm fine.' He assured her, looking into her blue eyes. 'They gave me the all clear, I'm going to be just fine.'

'Thank God.' Lisa placed her head against his chest, just breathing his presence in. 'When Jessie told me what happened-'

'Hey Lis, it's okay.' He gently replied, rubbing her back as she sobbed quietly. 'It's okay.'

She nodded, pulling back as she wiped her eyes. 'I'm just so happy to see you. You really had me scared Jack Bartlett. I love you too much, the thought I almost lost you-'

'Sssh.' Jack interrupted, placing his finger to her lips. 'Don't go there. I'm alright and I'm not going anywhere. I'm just fine and the doc reckons I shouldn't have any lasting effects from the accident so you don't need to worry about me.'

'That's exactly what I do with someone I love.'

'I know, and I love you for caring about me.' He touched her cheek gently. He could see what kind of effect his accident had had on her, there was a look in her eyes he hadn't seen before. 'I'm going to be fine Lisa, I'll be just fine in a few days.'

She nodded, hugging him again as he gently kissed her. They looked deep into each other's eyes as they pulled away and she laid her head on his chest again. 'I'm so relieved you're okay.'

He held her, resting his chin on her head. It felt so good to have her in his arms again, despite the circumstances that had led to her coming back early. 'How's our girl doing?'

'Hard to say to be honest.' Lisa replied as she looked up at him. 'She's a mess Jack, really, she is even with her trying to pretend she's alright when everyone can see she isn't.'

'Lou told me a few things but she said she would let Jessie tell me the rest.'

'I think that's probably best.' She agreed. 'This whole thing has really shaken her Jack, I think possible even more than some of the other things she's been through. I mean she was a total mess when she rang me to tell me what happened, it took me a straight five minutes to get her calmed down.'

Jack nodded, glancing down at Jessie where she was standing talking to Maggie outside the barn. 'I'll talk to her.'

'Good idea.'

'Will you be heading back to France now?'

She shook her head. 'No, I put my plans on hold for later when I came back. I did what I needed to do regarding my business while I was over there, the rest was just not as important as being here with you and Jessie. I will be heading back to Fairfield tomorrow though, if Jessie's doing okay but I won't be going back to France for a few weeks at least.'

'Well, I wish you had come back to better circumstances but I'm glad you're here now.'

'I wasn't going to stay over there Jack when you were hurt, Jessie needed me here too. You know when I signed up for this guardianship with you that she would come first. That other stuff doesn't matter as much as she does to me. And I needed to come back for another reason.'

'And what would that be?'

'You. I needed to be here Jack. For you.' She repeated. 'You wouldn't know how I felt being nearly five thousand miles away when I got that call. I felt so helpless. I couldn't do anything. Jessie rang me just past two in the morning, I was on a plane coming back at four-thirty. You and Jessie are everything to me, I couldn't bear being in France another moment. And when I saw you in the hospital yesterday-' She paused. 'It made me realize how I just took you for granted.'

'You do kinda, don't you?'

'Jack!' She slapped his arm playfully. 'I'm being serious here!'

'I know.' He sobered, touching her cheek gently. 'Life is too fragile to be taken for granted.'

'They kicked me out of the kitchen.' Jack complained later that night to Jessie as he walked into the living room. 'Said I needed to go rest and they'd handle cooking dinner.'

'Now you know how I feel.' She replied cheekily, patting the seat beside her. 'Come join me Jack. I'm bored, you're bored, we can be bored together.'

He chuckled, sitting down beside her on the couch then glanced at the fireplace. 'I should probably get a fire going, it's going to be a little chilly tonight.'

'Do-' Jessie started, a shiver running up her spine. 'Do we really need the fire on?'

'Ye-' He looked down at her, realizing what had caused her apprehension to him starting the fire. 'I guess not. It's not going to be that cold.' The girl nodded and he could see the relief in her body language. 'You want to talk about it?'

'What do you remember?' She asked, looking at him, her eyes filled with untold emotion.

'You want me to start at the beginning?' The girl nodded. He took a deep breath, placing his arm around her but was careful not to hurt her shoulder. 'I fell asleep on the couch after you left to talk to Lisa, the sound of the horses calling out was what woke me up. I went outside to see if there was something wrong and I smelt smoke when I was standing on the porch. Then I saw a guy running from the barn to a truck he had parked in the drive. Wes, his name is. He was carrying a can of petrol when he fled.'

'Someone deliberately set fire to the barn? Why? Who would do something like that?'

Jack shrugged. 'He wanted revenge for a little illegal business he had running that we busted. All he got though was a free ride in a police car, he arrived at the hospital when we were leaving and that's when I remembered seeing him running from the barn.'

'So it wasn't Mallory and the heart at all.'

'No, it wasn't her fault. Not in the least bit.'

'I bet she'll be glad to hear that, she's been worried that it was her fault.'

'Well I talked to her not long ago and told her what happened, she knows now it wasn't her that caused the fire.' Jack looked down as Cougar walked over, climbing onto the couch beside him. 'Hey girl.'

'Someone has missed you.' She exclaimed, watching as Cougar placed her head on Jack's lap and started to purr loudly.

'I can see that.' He chuckled, then his thoughts returned back to the previous topic of conversation. 'Where was I?'

'Wes was running from the barn.'

'Ah yes, that's right. What would I do without you?' The girl chuckled, snuggling up against him. 'After he ran that's when the fire started to take hold of the barn and I went in to get the horses out. I went for Warrior first because he was the closest one to the door then I don't remember anything till I woke up in the ambulance.'

She nodded, a sinking feeling in her stomach from what Jack had confirmed. It was her fault. She should have left Warrior out in the pasture like she was going to, none of this would have happened.

He looked at her, trying to read what she was thinking by the expression on her face accompanied by her silence. 'What do you remember?'

'It's my fault.'

'Pardon?'

'It's my fault.' Jessie repeated, refusing to look at him. 'I had a feeling I should have left Warrior out of the barn that night and I ignored it. It's my fault you got hurt.'

'Oh honey, it's no one's fault. Warrior was just being a normal horse when placed in a situation like that. It's not your fault that he hurt me.'

'But if I had listened to my gut and left him out he wouldn't have been there in the first place and-'

'Sweetheart, you need to stop blaming yourself. It was an accident. It's not your fault and I don't blame you at all for it.'

'But I can't forgive myself-' She argued. 'You were hurt Jack, and badly. Of course I'm going to blame myself.'

'Honey-' He gently lifted her chin so she would look at him. 'If it makes you feel better, I forgive you. Even though it wasn't your fault. You need to forgive yourself. You can't hold onto the guilt sweetheart, it's going to make you sick. You need to let it go.'

She nodded, knowing inside herself what he was saying was right. 'I know.'

They sat in silence for a moment till Jack spoke again, prompting her to try and talk about what had taken place for her the night of the fire. 'What happened Jessie? What did you do?'

'I was still on my video call to Lisa when I heard the horses and when I looked out the window I saw the fire. I think I gave Lisa the fright of her life, ending the call the way I did. 'Lisa, I gotta go, the barn's on fire' and then disappearing offline.' Jack chuckled, despite the sobriety of what the girl was saying. 'The first thing I did was call the fire brigade then I went out. My battery died while I was on the call and I couldn't find you anywhere.'

The girl stopped and he waited for a moment, prompting her gently. 'Go on honey. You need to get it out.'

She sniffled, wiping her eyes before she continued. 'I waited and I waited but you didn't come out. I could hear the horses, I could hear Warrior but I was so scared. I didn't know what else to do. I knew you were in there, but you didn't come out. I went in to find you.'

'Oh honey-' He could only imagine what she had gone through, standing there watching the barn. 'You came in the barn after me?'

She nodded, biting her lip. 'I was so scared, I couldn't find you. It was horrible, hearing the horses screaming. I wanted to get Warrior out but I forced myself to find you first.' She shivered, hearing the sounds playing over in her mind again. She started to panic slightly, her heart pounding faster as she heard Warrior calling for her in her thoughts. She gulped, taking a deep breath. 'I finally found you unconscious outside Warrior's stall and I managed to get you outside.'

'It's okay Jessie, take a deep breath.'

'I went back for the horses. By the time I got to Pegasus the barn was starting to give. I only got out because of him. He dragged me out to safety holding onto his halter. The roof above his stall gave way just as we got outside.' Neither her or Jack noticed Amy, Lou and Mallory standing in shock just inside the kitchen listening to her telling Jack her story. 'I was so upset and scared and terrified I kept begging you to wake up but you didn't. I was so scared you were going to die.'

'Hey honey, is okay.' He assured her gently as she started to cry, breaking down in his arms. 'I'm right here. It's okay.'

Jessie sobbed quietly for a few minutes before she calmed down enough to talk again. 'The fire brigade arrived not long after, the Captain came over to check on me and he called Lou and Scott and an ambulance for you. It felt so surreal, everything that happened. Kit and Scott stayed with me until you and the girls got back. I was so scared and terrified, being in that barn was the most horrible thing I've been through and then the other day when I went into the barn I was reliving it again and I had a panic attack and the nightmares-'

'Slow down honey, catch your breath.' He interrupted, the girl working herself into a panic again. 'Take a deep breath.'

'I'm just so scared Jack.' She whimpered after she had calmed down again. 'I'm scared of losing you, I'm terrified of the barn and fire, I'm too scared to sleep. I feel so stupid, so ashamed of being scared.'

'Honey you don't need to be ashamed of being scared, it's normal after what you've been through sweetheart.' Jack gently replied. 'There is no need to be ashamed Jessie. You saved my life, you saved the horses. That's nothing to be ashamed of. You're a hero.'

'Them why do I feel so horrible inside? So broken and helpless. I hate being like this, I hate people seeing me like this. I should be strong-' Her voice trailed off, holding on tight to him.

He had no answer to give her. What could he say that would make her feel better? Lisa was right. The poor girl was a mess. He looked up at the woman as she walked in, placing her hand on the girl. Their eyes met, the same concern he had for Jessie reflected back in Lisa's expression.

'Jessie honey, even now, as broken as you may feel, you are still so strong. There is something to be said for how you try to hold yourself together and keep moving, even though I know you feel like shattering. Don't stop. This is how you find healing, this is how you make it through. It doesn't have to be pretty or graceful. You just have to keep going.'

The girl nodded after a moment, letting Lisa's words sink in. 'I just want this to be over and to be happy again.'

'You will be honey, I promise you. You just have to get through the night to enjoy the day.' She gently encouraged, wishing there was more she could do to help her. 'You'll make it through this sweetheart. It'll just take time.'

'You want some desert Jessie?' Lisa asked after dinner as the others finished washing up the dishes, walking into the living room where Jessie and Jack were.

'No, I'm fine.' She replied, taking a seat between Jack's chair and Cougar's bed. 'I'm not hungry, I had a little bit of dinner.'

She nodded, at least the girl had eaten something. 'What about you Jack?'

'You know I can't say no to a little desert.'

'Alright, I'll go grab you some.' She chuckled, heading back to the kitchen. 'You want me to save you some for later Jessie?'

'Yeah, I might feel like having it later.' Jessie replied, rubbing Cougar's ears as she settled down beside her. She yawned, glancing over at the clock. 'I think I'm going to head to bed early tonight.'

'That's alright if you want to honey, you do need to get some rest.'

'But want to spend some time with you first.'

Jack smiled, placing his hand on the girls head. 'You want me to brush your hair?'

'Now that sounds even better than desert.' She laughed, grabbing a small brush from her pocket. 'How did you know?'

'Maybe when you deliberately sat down on the floor beside me instead of taking the couch.'

Jessie giggled, handing him the brush and she pulled her hair out of its ponytail. 'You know me too well.'

'Yes, I probably do.' He replied, brushing her hair gently. 'Jessie honey, I'm proud of you. I know I don't say that enough but I am. You're strong and courageous and brave. Don't think that your not because you are.'

She nodded, blinking back tears. Proud? 'Thank you for saying that Jack.'

'Your welcome sweetheart.' He smiled at her, their eyes meeting. 'Now, I distinctly remember we were going to have a rematch at chess so you could kick my butt again.'

'Maybe later.' She didn't really feel in the mood for playing games, she was just enjoying being with Jack. That was more than enough. 'I don't really feel like continuing my winning streak just yet.'

'Alright.'

'I didn't accuse you.' Ty protested as he and Mallory walked into the living room, the girl still going on about him asking her if she'd made sure the heater was off in the barn or not.

'Yes, you did!' She argued back, heading over to the mantel to get the deck of cards on top 'But Jack believed me, right Jack?'

'Well, I believe you.' He interrupted before Jack could say a word. 'Now.'

'Damn well better.'

'Mallory.' He frowned, giving her the look telling her to mind her language.

Mallory waited till Jack's attention was diverted away from her and she re-mouthed the words back at Ty. Ty grabbed a piece of paper off the coffee table, scrunching it up to throw at the girl but she ducked out of the way with a laugh.

'Hey!' Amy exclaimed as she walked into the living room, Lisa and Lou following her. 'You hit the grandma stone.'

'The grammar stone?'

'Come on Ty.' Lou interjected as she took a seat on the floor next to the coffee table. 'You've never heard the famous story of the Bartlett stones?'

'No.'

'Alright, well-' Amy exclaimed as she walked around the coffee table, standing at the fireplace. 'This is my great-great-grandfather-' She started pointing out the stones. 'And this is my great-great-grandmother. And this is Grandpa, and this one's my mom and this one's me.'

'And this one is me.' Lou added as she got up and pointed to her one.

'Wow. You guys are nuts.' He shook his head, sitting down on the couch next to Mallory.

'Yeah.'

'We gonna play?'

'Yeah, let's play.'

'I think that's kinda cute.' Lisa remarked as she handed Jack his desert and sat down beside Jessie. 'What do you think honey?'

'Oh?' She glanced up at her. 'Sorry, I was thinking. What did you say?'

'Never mind.' She brushed it off, smiling as she saw Jack brushing the girl's hair. 'Well, I see you manage to twist his arm.'

Jessie chuckled, looking up at Jack. 'Doesn't take much, does it?'

'Nope.' He winked at Lisa. 'I don't have the ability to say no to this one.'

'I see.'

The girl smiled, letting herself relax into the moment as she watched the others play their card game and listened to Jack and Lisa talking quietly. Regardless of what had happened, everything was okay again. Everything was back the way it should be. Instead of silence and emptiness, the house was full of laughter and joy again, the way it should be. Best of all, Jack was home. She smiled again, looking up at him as he and Lisa spoke. This was home.