Chapter 39.1

Jessie didn't think the kittens were very cute three days into looking after them as she woke up again at two in the morning to give them another feed. 'Alright, alright.' She murmured softly as she heard their plantivie cries from the box next to her and turned the lamp on so she could see. Cougar got off the bed, going over to them and gently licking them as she grabbed the milk she had prepared before bed from a thermos on the table beside her. 'Your milk is coming, patience girls.'

She rubbed her eyes as she poured some milk into a cup to let it cool enough for the kittens to drink, gently taking them out of the box and placing them on her lap as she waited. Already she could see the kittens were starting to grow and it wouldn't be long before they opened their eyes. Cougar licked Hope gently, purring loudly and she chuckled. Cougar had really taken to the two kittens, refusing to leave their side for anything. She could admit she had been a little worried about how her big cat would react to them but she needen;t have worried. Cougar was being an excellent substitute cat mom for the little orphans.

She yawned again, testing the milk to make sure that it was cool enough and she started to feed the kittens. Miracle and Hope settled down to drink, their little paws clasped firmly to the syringe as Cougar looked on protectively. Once the kittens had finished eating she held them out one at a time for Cougar to gently clean then placed them back in their bed. The big cat looked over them, checking to make sure they were looked after then jumped back up on her bed as she turned the lamp off and tried to get back to sleep.

The sound of Cougar's purring melted away as the cat went back to sleep, an eerie silence falling over the room as the girl stared up at the ceiling. She glanced back at the clock, sighing as she saw what the time was. There wasn't much of a way she was going to get back to sleep, not since the deafening sound of silence was allowing her mind to fill with thoughts she had tried to bury the last few days. She groaned, rolling over again. It was going to be a long night….

'How are the kittens this morning?' Jack asked as the girl sleepily sauntered into the kitchen, the small squeaks from the box alerting the world that they were awake and they were starving. 'You want me to get their milk ready?'

'Yes, please. They think they are starving.' She placed the box down on the table, Cougar taking up watchful vigil beside her as she sat down. She yawned, lifting Miracle and Hope out of their bed and onto her lap. The kittens squeaked softly, looking for their milk. 'You little guys are so demanding.'

He chuckled as he measured out the kitten formula and poured water into the pot and gently started heating it up. 'You want me to feed one for you?'

'That would be such an effort, wouldn't it?' She teased with a grin. It was a well known fact the kittens had managed to worm their way into everyone's hearts, including Jacks. 'Of course you can.' She glanced around, the house unusually quiet. 'Where is everyone?'

'Lisa had some business to attend to.' He didn't say exactly what business that was, it was a surprise. 'I think everyone else is out tending to the horses.'

'I should go check on Pegasus.' Jessie yawned again, trying to shake off the remainder of her urge to go back to sleep. 'I'll feed these guys then I'll go check him while they sleep.'

'Before you go out you need to have some breakfast too. I've got you some to heat up in the fridge.'

'Thank you Jack but I'm not hungry.'

'Jessie-'

'I know I need to eat, I'll have something later.' She replied with a slightly annoyed tone. 'I'm just not hungry now.'

'Alright.' He put his hands up in surrender. 'I'll let Lisa deal with that.'

'Brilliant.' The girl knew when he got Lisa to try and do something with her she didn't normally win. 'Is their milk ready?'

'Yeah, it's just right.' He grabbed a couple syringes and filled them up, taking a place at the table and Jessie handed him a kitten, passing her a syringe. 'Which one is this?'

'Hope. I've got Miracle.' She chuckled, watching Jack feed the kitten. 'Someone is smitten.'

'Sssh, got to keep up the image of being a macho man.' He teased, a smile on his face as Hope drank hungrily. 'How did you sleep?'

'I didn't. My brain just wouldn't turn off.' Jessie sighed, rubbing Miracle's head with her thumb as she hurriedly consumed her breakfast like it was going to be her last meal. 'I had a pretty rough night, got a lot of things on my mind.'

'How did your psychologist appointment go yesterday?'

She shrugged. 'It was fine. Just the old usual stuff.' She held Miracle out to Cougar once she had finished eating then placed the kitten down on the table so it could practise crawling around a little bit under her watchful eye. They sat in silence for a moment and she decided to change the subject. 'What business did Lisa have to attend to?'

'Just some stuff for Fairfield.' He tried to sound convincing without revealing what Lisa was actually up too. 'She'll be back soon. I think she's going to be busy the next few days though, she said she wouldn't be around as much this week.'

'Fair enough, she has been here a lot lately. I imagine she'll have work to catch up on.'

'How's your shoulder feeling now your arm is out of the sling?'

'It's going good, still a bit stiff though but Barbra said that's to be expected. She did give me the all clear to ride though, I can't wait to get back in the saddle.'

'And your hands?'

'They'll take a bit longer to mend but since I'll wear gloves it'll be fine.' Jessie shrugged, picking up Miracle to put her back in the box with her sister. 'I don't really have that much time left to train for the rodeo if I want to have a shot at getting a good time. I need to be able to get Warrior back into it.'

'Well you'll be pleased to know you can use the arena again, Ty and Caleb finished going over it with a fine tooth comb yesterday and it's safe for use again.'

'Good, because I definitely need to practice.' She picked up the box and got up, Cougar watching her every move. 'Alright girl, you're in charge now.' She took the box into the living room, placing it down beside Cougar's bed and the cat laid down to keep a close eye over them. She smiled, looking at the kittens with their huge substitute mother keeping guard then she headed back into the kitchen. 'Can you keep an eye on them Jack if you're not busy?'

'Oh, I'm not busy alright. Lou has taken care of that. I'll be spending my entire day tying fishing flies.'

'Brilliant, because I'm planning on taking Warrior for a ride. See you around Jack.'

'Just be careful you.'

'I will be.' She called back, putting her jacket on as she walked out the door. The air was crisp and clean as she walked out to the barn, she couldn't believe it had been a week already since the barn had burnt down. The barn looked exactly how it had before the fire, all the repairs finished off by Ty and Caleb during the week and if a person looked at it now they wouldn't have even known that it had been badly burnt not that long ago. A shudder ran up her spine as she looked at it however, it was going to take her a lot longer to get over what had happened.

'Pegasus seems a little off again this morning.' Amy remarked as she returned to the barn, leading Spartan. 'Maybe you should give him a little more of the tea?'

'Sure, I- I can do that.' She agreed. 'I was hoping to try and get some practise with Warrior done, would you be around to give me a hand later?'

'Of course.' She looked down at her watch, realising what the time was. 'Oh shoot, I'm going to be late for school. Mallory! Come on, we've got to get moving.'

'I'll take care of Spartan for you.'

'Thanks.' She handed her the gelding's reins, shouting for Mallory again. 'Mallory!'

'Coming, coming.' The girl exclaimed, hurring out with her school bag on her back. 'Right, let's go. Bye Jessie.'

'Bye Mallory.' Jessie gave Spartan a pat as the two girls hurried off to catch the bus. She looked around for Ty and Caleb but she couldn't see them. She sighed, looking at the barn. At least she could try and get over her fear of the barn without someone seeing her make a fool of herself. 'Okay, come on boy.'

Slowly she led the gelding forward, closing her eyes as she stopped again just outside the barn door. She hadn't been in here since the fire. You can do this. She encouraged herself, looking into the barn. Alright, yes, she could do this and yes, she was going to do this. Spartan's reins held tightly in her hands she stepped in, his shod hooves scraping loudly on the floor.

She tore off her shirt, tossing it over the stallion's head as Warrior screamed, thrashing about wildly. Her hand never left the halter he was wearing as she waited for him to calm down and she hurried to lead him out as fast as she could. The stallion realized she was getting him out and he quickly followed her into the night. She took the shirt off him as they came out of the barn, gasping for air. She rested for a moment, still holding onto him then dragged him towards the corral. The fire brigade didn't need loose horses in the way.

Quickly she locked him up and ran back into the barn for the next horse. The hot lock stung her hands as she struggled to get Spartan's stall open, the gelding thrashing around in his box just like Warrior had been. Reaching for him, she tossed her shirt over his face and grabbed hold of his halter. The gelding settled after a moment, allowing her to lead him out and she hurriedly penned him in the corral with Warrior. Two down, two left to go.

She froze, reliving the night again as she looked at Spartan's stall. Spartan snorted, nudging her gently and she jumped, the horse interrupting her from her thoughts. Her heart pounded as she ran her hand over his neck, forcing herself to stay calm. 'Your not scared, are you? I don't need to be scared.' The gelding nudged her again as she tied him up outside his stall, pausing a moment to gain her composure.

'Mornin Jessie.'

'Oh, hi Caleb. Didn't see you there.' She exclaimed, starting work on getting the horse untacked. She struggled with getting the cinch undone a moment but then finally got it loose. 'Morning.'

'I was hoping to speak with you.' Caleb explained as he walked over, leaning against the wall of Spartan's stall. 'You feeling up to riding?'

'Yeah, I was hoping to start riding today actually.' Jessie replied, pulling the saddle off and placing it over on its rack. 'Why?'

'Well, I was speaking with Kit earlier and she mentioned she had some free time this afternoon to give you a lesson if you were feeling up to riding.'

She nodded, grabbing a brush to groom the gelding down with. 'Sure, I'd be more than happy for that.'

'Brilliant. I'll go let her know then.'

'Okay, thanks Caleb.' The girl turned back to the gelding as Caleb headed out, brushing the horse over before leading him out and turning him loose into the pasture with the other horses. She sighed, watching the gelding trot over to join Paint grazing under the tree. Even Spartan had no qualms about going into the barn and yet she did.

Jessie headed back to the barn, forcing herself to go in to check on Pegasus. The gelding was sleeping as she walked into his stall, glancing at how much food and water he had consumed over the night. She frowned, it was practically untouched.

'Morning Jessie.' Ty remarked, walking past as he pushed a wheelbarrow through to take a shortcut to the manure pile. 'How's it going?'

'Good, but I can't say as much for this guy.'

'What's wrong?'

'He didn't touch much of his water or his feed again.' She sighed, walking back out of the stall and closed the door behind her. 'Is there still some tea left that I made up?'

'Yeah, I think so.'

'I might try giving him some more. You gave him his medicine already?'

'I did, took some coaxing but I managed to give it to him.'

'That's good then.' Jessie turned from the stall, looking for the jar she had used to store the tea in over where they kept the food. 'I'll try mixing it with some molasses, it might encourage him to take it. Hand me that bucket would you please?'

Ty handed her the empty bucket, glancing back at the gelding. 'You know he is an old horse Jessie.'

'I am aware of that. Doesn't mean I'm not going to give it a shot though.' She poured some tea and molasses into the bucket, stirring it together with an old spoon. 'We'll see if he wants this. I think Scott needs to come have another look at him though, what do you think?'

'I don't think it would hurt.' He followed her over to the stall, opening the door for her to go in. 'You do know that his condition isn't your fault Jessie.'

'I know, doesn't mean I don't blame myself though.' She replied, offering the bucket to the gelding. Pegasus sniffed at it for a moment then slowly began to eat the mixture and she smiled, giving him a pat. 'Good boy. That's it. That taste good?'

He frowned slightly, trying to read the girls body language. 'You okay Jess?'

'Yeah, I'm fine.' She sighed. 'Just tired, and I have a lot on my mind at the moment. Thanks for asking though.'

'Anything you might want to share?'

Jessie sighed again, taking the bucket away once the gelding had finished eating and she left the stall again. 'Ty, if you never knew much about your mother and you were faced with the possibility of perhaps learning more about her, would you take the opportunity?'

He whistled, raising his eyebrows. 'That's a hard one.'

'Tell me about it. That's what I've been trying to decide the last couple of days.' They headed out of the barn and she handed him the bucket so he could wash it out for the next time she needed to feed Pegasus. 'I just don't know what to do. One one hand I'd really love to find out if some of my questions could be answered but on the other I don't know if I really want to know the truth.'

'What's brought this around all of a sudden?' Ty asked, cleaning the bucket out for her. 'Has an opportunity like that risen?'

'Kinda. I just don't know what to do.'

'Well, what do you want to do? What is your heart telling you?'

'To go for it, but I don't know.' She shrugged. 'What if I don't want to know the answers? I mean, yeah-' She paused, trying to get her thoughts in order. 'I just don't know what I should do.'

'I think you should go for it.'

'You do?'

'Like you said, you might be able to find some answers.'

'But what if I don't like them?'

'Not much you can do about that I'm afraid.'

'Yeah.' Jessie replied, pondering what he had said. 'I'll think it over some more first before I make a decision. I'd appreciate it if you didn't mention what I told you either.'

'I won't repeat it.'

'Thanks.' She glanced behind her at Warrior grazing in the pen near the barn. 'How was he being stabled?'

'He was fine, Amy didn't have a problem with him at all.'

'That's good. I was worried he would freak out at being locked up in a stall again.'

'When can you ride again?'

'I'm going to give it a shot today, I mean, my shoulder is healed up so yeah, I think I'll give it a shot.'

'The rodeo is coming up pretty quick.'

'Don't remind me.' She chuckled as they walked back into the barn. 'I still have to get Warrior ready and our times faster.'

'You'll be ready in time. I heard Caleb saying that Kit was going to drop by to give you a lesson this afternoon. She'll give you some good tips.'

'What is the go with you and her?'

'What do you mean?'

'Well, is she your girlfriend?'

'You sound like Mallory.' He laughed. 'Yeah, I kinda could say she is.'

'I kinda guessed. She's a nice girl.' She fell silent again, thinking of how she had helped her the night of the fire. 'Bit weird though she's helping me out and we'll be competing against each other.'

'Kit's like that, she'll help anyone.'

Jessie was about to reply when she heard a car pulling up, smiling as she saw that it was Lisa. 'Catch you later Ty.'

'See you around Jess.'

She jogged out of the barn, heading towards the house as Lisa stopped the car out the front of the yard next to Jack's truck. Lisa hopped out of the car and she was going to go to her when the passenger door opened. She stopped, frowning as she tried to figure out who it was. 'Cindy!'