Can I just say a massive THANK YOU! To everyone who reviewed the last few chapters, I got some really lovely messages from long time readers and new readers alike. You guys are the best. That being said, I wanted to get this up in November, so I'm a day out, but hopefully you all enjoy it!
Chapter 38
I am not surprised to see Thorin's dark form waiting for me when I reach the top. He is staring out over the wall, dark eyes reflecting the night with a thin halo of pipe smoke about his head.
As I step through the archway he turns his head to me, nodding slightly as I move over to stand a respectable distance from him. Marrik takes up a position at the archway with the single guard Thorin has with him, until the King Under The Mountain gives the two of them a look, and they wordlessly disappear from the balcony, armor clinking as they descend the stairs.
"Ruin," Thorin rumbles out, turning his attention to me.
"Thorin," I say back, stepping closer to the wall to look out over the dark landscape before us. It is almost midnight, I would guess, which means he has likely been waiting here for some time for me to arrive. "I apologise for not coming sooner."
"You have no need to apologise to me," He tells me as he begins the process of emptying and cleaning his pipe. "I realise you have had quite the day. How fares your brother?"
"Not badly, all things considered, though I am glad to have him back in the land of the living," I say truthfully. "He has little strength in him, and barely managed to speak but a few words."
"What does Oin say?" Thorin asks, his brow creasing.
"That it is normal, especially after what happened to him and how long he has been unconscious," I tell him, repeating what the healing master said to my family before we left my brother to his rest. "Still, I could see how badly he wanted to ask what happened to my face - no doubt I will be interrogated once he regains his strength."
The King nods, his eyes on the cut that splits my cheek. Almost unconsciously his hand rises and cups my face, thumb gently brushing the scarred flesh.
"It has healed well," He states, then lifts his eyes to mine with a pointed look. "It would likely have healed quicker, had you rested, as you were told to."
"I did rest," I protest, only a little indignantly.
Thorin raises an eyebrow at me. "Oh? Was that before or after you journeyed to the Greenwood?"
"Well.. that was…it was a matter of urgency," I fumble because he is right of course, I did everything but rest after receiving the wound, but there really had been very few options open to me.
"Mmhm." Thorin rumbles, the corners of his mouth twitching up the smallest amount.
"I think I did very well, all things considered," I say, trying to keep the huff out of my tone as I know he is only teasing me.
"Aye, you did," Thorin agrees, giving my cheek one last caress before his hand drops to his side and he clears his throat. "Though I would have preferred you not to have left in the dead of night without a word of your plans to anyone."
"Truin knew," I counter, then tilt my chin up. "She was the only one I could tell, I knew she wouldn't try to stop me."
"Perhaps you do not have to do all things by yourself," Thorin suggests, and there is no heat in his voice, only the weary sort of resignation I associate with myself whenever Bruin comes up with an outlandish scheme or plot.
I offer him a smile but no agreement on any such thing, and the King Under The Mountain manages not to quite roll his eyes at me.
There is a silence between us then, and I know I will not be the one to break it because I know what is coming and I am not ready to face it.
Thorin looks away, eyes on the sliver of moon sitting high in the sky and clears his throat again. "So, have you given any thoughts to my… request?"
I don't answer right away, instead I study his face.
Outwardly he looks very calm and collected, except I can see the tightness around his eyes and the flex of his cheek as he clenches and unclenches his jaw while he waits for me to respond. I realise it is cruel of me to keep him waiting, so I swallow the lump in my throat and speak.
"What is it you would have of me, Thorin Oakenshield?" I ask, impressed with myself at how my voice does not waver despite the tumultuous emotions roiling in my stomach.
He looks at me, blinking, perhaps in surprise before turning back to face me fully.
"I would have you as my Queen. I would have you rule beside me for the rest of our days and…" He pauses for a moment, his hands finding mine as his eyes flick back up to my face. "...And I would have you be the mother of my children."
Immediately my face feels hot. I have deliberated over what it means to be a Queen for months, panicking over every detail of ruling a kingdom - and yet, producing an Heir is something I hadn't considered.
I should have considered it.
Mahal I should have considered it!
I knew that was why Thorin was looking to take a Queen after all - it's the whole reason he invited everyone to Erebor, and yet, hearing him say it to me is jarring.
I take a step back, letting his hands fall and turn away from him, running a hand through my hair as I let out a sigh.
"Ruin," Thorin says my name softly but doesn't move to follow me.
The light from the small opening that looks back into the Kingdom Under The Mountain draws me closer and I step towards its warmth, biting my fingernail as I look down into the quiet city below. I stare, unseeing at the glowing halls of Erebor.
My mind is roaring like forge bellows. There are so many thoughts racing through my mind, but there is one that shouts the loudest.
"I can't be a Queen, Thorin," I say, giving voice to the thought as I turn away from my brief glance through the window to look back at him. "I wouldn't know where to start-"
He steps toward me but I hold up my hands to stop him and he pauses in place, dark eyes watching me, jaw clenching again.
"I barely know how to be a regular noblewoman. I have never enjoyed sitting through meetings. I hate being followed by guards everywhere I go-" I pause to take a breath and run my hands through my hair again. "The only person who ever listens when I tell them to do something is Bruin -sometimes not even then- and I don't know if you've noticed this, but since arriving in Erebor, I've got myself into a fair bit of very un-Queenly trouble."
Thorin is silent for a moment before he nods. "I had noticed that."
A small, helpless laugh escapes my lips and I shake my head.
"You would be better off marrying Truin," I tell him, though my chest constricts painfully as the words leave my mouth. "She is a proper Lady, and she wants to be Queen, I'm sure she would be good at it."
"Yes," Thorin says, taking two more steps until he is standing in front of me again. "Truin would likely make an excellent Queen."
I swallow, feeling a hot prickle behind my eyes but I refuse to make more of a fool of myself than I already have. I open my mouth but Thorin speaks first.
"But I do not want Truin," His voice is low but gentle as if he is worried I might spook if he speaks too loudly. "I want you, Ruin. Only you."
"But I-" I start, but this time he cuts me off.
"You say you do not know how to be Queen, and this is true, but neither does your sister, nor any of the other ladies living within Erebor," He reasons, warmth radiating off him so that I find myself unconsciously leaning towards him. "Erebor has not had a Queen since before my Grandfathers time."
I nod, and keep my mouth closed even though I want to argue because I know he is not done.
"With regards to your other concerns, I can agree that not all of my meetings are as exciting as some of those you have been party to recently," He concedes with a tilt of his head. "But you need not attend them unless it is a matter of great import where your opinion would be needed. Though I imagine your presence might make them more bearable for me."
I allow a small smile but still don't speak, unsure of whether his reasoning is lessening my fears or making them all seem much too real.
"The guards -" Thorin pauses and lets out a small sigh before shaking his head. "I could not release you from your guards. You get into trouble enough as it is, and your safety is important to me."
"And would these guards still be under your command, or mine?" I ask.
Thorin's lips thin slightly before he lets out a huff of a laugh. "Ah, so you want to know if you can undermine my authority already?" He asks, one thick eyebrow raised.
"I want to know that if I must have guards, they will be mine, and they will do as I say, not what you want despite my wishes." I clarify, unable to stop myself. "If I were.. to be Queen, I would want guards that answered to me. And only me."
Thorin lets out a sigh and rubs a hand over his beard, watching me carefully. He nods to himself and signs again. "We would have to speak on it more, later. Your safety is more important to me than you know, Ruin, and I would not have that jepardised."
"And while I appreciate your concern, my safety is my own business." I counter. My mind spinning back to the day Bruin got stabbed, of my mad rush through the Kingdom Under The Mountain. If I had guards with me, they would have stopped me from giving chase and the dwarf that almost killed my brother would have gotten away.
"I would not have you in -" Thorin starts, but I cut him off.
"If you cannot trust me to make my own decisions, to know my own self, then tell me now, and find yourself another Dwarrowdam who is content to be coddled," I tell him, prodding a finger into his chest. "Because I am not she. If I am to have guards, then they will be mine, and they will follow my command alone."
Thorin's hands form fists at his sides and he turns away, striding over to the wall to glare out into the darkness. I stay where I am, watching the tightness in his form as he silently fumes at my words.
The King Under The Mountain turns to me, one internal struggle and some minutes later and runs a hand down his beard, his brows drawn down into a deep frown as he watches me watch him. Again he sighs.
"You will be the death of me, Ruin, Daughter of Yutte."
"I believe I've actually saved your life, at least once," I tell him, giving him a smile. "So perhaps you would like to take that back?"
Thorin grumbles and stalks over to me again, stopping before me. He tugs me a step towards him, his hands on my waist as he mutters, "For someone who does not think she would make a good Queen, you seem to have no issue giving me orders."
"I think it's good for you," I say, receiving an annoyed grunt from the King. "And you still have not told me your answer about the guards."
"I will think on it," Thorin says, glancing up and missing the frown on my face. The small crescent of moon has been making a steady trek across the dark sky since we have been speaking. "As much as I would like to resolve this now, I think it would be best to continue another time."
"It has been a rather long day," I agree, trying not to show how much I would appreciate the chance to slip away and consider all the things we have discussed tonight. To confront my own feelings in the privacy of my own quarters.
Thorin nods and turns, one hand on my back to guide me towards the stairs, but he pauses. "Will you speak to your family, before you make your decision?"
"I think it's time I did," I say, pinching the bridge of my nose with a sigh. "Maybe I am a coward, but I dread speaking to Truin."
Thorin is quiet for a moment before he tugs me towards him again, tucking my head under his chin as his arms come up around me. I let myself be held for by him, enjoying the smell of him, the warmth that radiates from him.
"I don't know if it would help or hinder you - but I can be there with you, if you wish it." He mutters against my hair.
"I don't know," I tell him truthfully. "I know it is unfair of me to ask, but will you give me a few more days? To think and speak to my family?"
"As long as you do not start to avoid me again," Thorin says, pulling back to give me a look, his brows furrowed.
I roll my eyes and push out of his grasp, heading through the archway. I head down the stairs, Thorin's heavy footfalls sounding behind me until we reach the bottom.
The King Under The Mountain reaches past me to open the door, but stops as I rest my hand on top of his. In the dim light I see him raise an eyebrow at me in confusion, but I simply lean forward and press a kiss to his cheek.
"Thank you, Thorin. I know how important it is for you to take a wife," I say, my words quiet. "I appreciate your patience with me - for giving me time."
He watches me for a moment before nodding and pulling open the door, stepping out into the corridor where Marrik and his own guard are waiting.
"We will speak again soon." Thorin offers and I nod, giving him a smile as I turn away with Marrik on my heel and head towards my room.
.
I sleep well and deeply and when I wake I dress and make my way directly for the healing rooms, forging breakfast in favour of seeing my brother.
Tybbar and Dunnold join me, as is their custom, but they wait outside while I make my way to the back of the room to the partition that still hides Bruin from the rest of the world.
I am half expecting him to be lying down, eyes closed, as he has been every other time I have visited him since his injury - so I am pleasantly surprised to find him propped up in his bed while Dwilla spoons something warm and souplike into his waiting maw.
"Good Morning brother!" I say cheerily, earning a grunt from my twin.
"Lady Ruin, good morning," Dwilla greets me, a smile on her face as she scoops some more broth up for my brother. "My apologies, I won't be long."
"No rush Dwilla," I assure her as I sit in the familiar chair by Bruins bedside. "It's not like he's going anywhere."
My brother grunts again, narrowing his eyes in my direction, however the awaiting spoonful of broth draws his attention back and I am spared his scathing glare.
I try to avoid staring directly at Bruin as Dwilla finishes up - I have little doubt that being spoon fed his breakfast is humiliating enough without his little sister watching. Still, I can't help myself from glancing over every now and then, just to make sure I'm not imagining things. That he is awake. Alive.
Finally the bowl is empty and Dwilla adjusts Bruins pillows before taking her leave with a bob of her head to me.
I twist, rolling my shoulders as Bruin shuffles himself back to get more comfortable.
"I hope you bought me something more substantial to eat, dear sister," Bruin says after a moment, his voice sounding like he has been swallowing rocks.
"I'm likely already on Master Oin's bad side," I say, settling against the chair. "I'll not upset him further by sneaking pies in for you."
"Some sister you are," He grumbles, rubbing a hand down his beard with a grimace. "Well if you're not going to give me food, will you finally tell me what you've done to our face?"
I snort and raise a hand to touch the forming scar.
"It's quite boring really," I say, letting my hand fall. "Not worth mentioning actually."
"Mhmm," He grunts, silver eyes watching me with a mix of annoyance and worry. "I'll be the judge of that."
"I'm not sure you-" I start, but Bruin cuts me off with a growl.
"Ruin!" He snaps, then winces, lifting his hand towards his chest before he realises what he is doing and lets it drop into his lap. "Tell me what happened."
I sigh and nod. I had been hoping to delay this slightly longer, if only to allow Bruin to regain some strength - but I know if our positions were reversed, I would demand answers too.
So instead I lean back and begin to recount the blurred moments that occurred after Bruin was stabbed. Of my sprint through the mountain and short but bloody fight with the dwarf that injured him.
I don't leave out any details even though Bruin's knuckles have turned white where he is gripping his bed sheets so tightly, anger furrowing his brow.
It doesn't take as long as I thought it would to recount the tale and finally I sit back and allow my brother some time to process what I have told him.
His eyes rove over the cut on my face, then down to my hands where the network of pink-white scars adorns my knuckles. Bruin takes a few deep breaths to steady himself, before exhaling loudly.
Bruin opens his mouth to speak, closes it, then opens it again and says, "Thank you."
I nod, swallowing down the lump that has formed in my throat. "As if you wouldn't have done the same for me."
He nods, and reaches out for my hand which I give willingly. His hands are warm and calloused against my skin.
"Well I suppose I shall have to get one too," He says with a theatrical sigh, dragging the pointer finger on his other hand down his cheek in imitation of my scar. "Being twins and all."
"I beg you Bruin, please don't put my life in anymore danger - mother would kill me." I groan, and he chuckles, squeezing my hand before letting it go to rub his throat. I take the hint and stand to fetch him some water from a nearby jug.
"Don't worry sister, you're quick, she won't catch you." He assures me, taking a grateful sip.
"Thank you for your confidence, brother, but I think I'd still like to avoid it altogether," I tell him as I reseat myself.
Bruin gives me a non-commital shrug and smirks. Such a familiar motion that I can't help the grin that spreads over my face.
"Did you get up to any other adventures without me?" He asks accusingly, taking another sip of water. "Or have you been weeping by my bedside all this time, as a good sister ought?"
I debate not saying anything of my escape to find the elves. I consider not mentioning my aborted kidnapping. I think about letting him rest - and then realise he has rested for too long and I let the smile on my face widen.
"Now that you mention it…."
.
By the time I have regaled Bruin with my various exploits since his injury, it is late morning and he is both exhausted and energised by my recount. I see him struggling to keep his eyes open and yet he is still asking me question after question.
I had wanted to try and broach the subject of Thorin with him, but I watch him sag against his pillows and know I cannot.
Thankfully, the bulk of my father appears beside the partition, followed by my mother, allowing me to avoid the barrage of questions from Bruin.
"Ah, more visitors!" I say, pushing to my feet. I press a kiss to Bruin's forehead and move out of the way so my mother can take the seat I just vacated.
"We thought you'd be here, Ruin," Yutte says as she settles into the chair. "I hope you've been letting your brother rest."
"He's done nothing but rest," My father grumbles, stepping further into the room as I step out. His hand rests on my shoulder briefly as he says, "Truin was looking for you, said she'd be getting food."
My stomach rumbles in response and my father lets out a deep laugh that shakes the partitioning wall beside me.
"I suppose I can see what she wants…" I smile, rubbing my stomach to try and alleviate the hunger gnawing there. My father snorts and all but pushes me towards the door.
Tybbar and Dunnold fall in to step behind me as I exit the healing rooms and I feel more than a little bad that I took so long visit Bruin while they stood around outside. But I say nothing and make my way towards the smell of food that is floating through the Kingdom Under The Mountain.
I enter the food hall and as always am hit by a wave of sound and smells from the dwarves gathered inside. I realise belatedly as Tybbar moves to block a miner from jostling me that it is a lot closer to lunch that I had thought - the hall is packed.
I glance up at the slightly raised top table to note that Thorin and his nephews are already there and enjoying a meal with several noble ladies scattered around - my sister included.
Tybbar notes the grimace on my face and leans towards me to be heard over the noise. "Perhaps over there?" He asks, tilting his head to a nearby table that has a fair amount of space still.
I nod and let Dunnold take the lead to fill our plates before returning to the table to sit, my guards flanking me on each sides, both their plates full to bursting. I am once again reminded that they probably didn't get to eat breakfast either, because of me.
"Can I ask you a question?" I say to my guards, and watch as they both hurriedly chew and swallow the outrageously large mouthfuls of food they had stuffed into their mouths. Tybbar does so first, nodding his head as the food disappears.
"Of course My Lady," He says, almost gasping for breath.
"Do you get bored being my guards?" I ask, watching him as I cut up some potatoes and pop half of one in my mouth.
"Not at all My Lady," Tybbar says, perhaps a little too quickly. I raise my eyebrows and he clears his throat. "Not much, at any rate."
"It's more interesting than watch duty." Dunnold pipes up, and I don't miss the way his eyes slide to the table at the head of the room where my sister sits.
"Aye," Tybbar agrees, this time around a mouthful of food. "Least we get to move around with you."
"You spent 4 hours outside the healing quarter this morning." I remind them.
"Aye, but that's better than 8 hours in the pissing cold out on the wall," Tybbar says again, swallowing. "Or guarding the mines."
"Only better job is guarding the King," Dunnold tells me as he saws through a slab of beef. "He never sits still for long."
"Then I'm sorry to have pulled you away from guarding him," I say, because I know that both of them were King's Guard before they were tasked with protecting me.
Tybbar waves it off with a nonchalant gesture and shrugs.
"Don't be My Lady," He says as he loads his fork with another stupidly large portion. "It's our honour!"
"Aye!" Dunnold pipes up again, giving me a wide grin. "Besides, you're a lot more lenient than him."
"Oh? How so?" I ask, watching as Tybbar leans back on the bench to glare at his companion behind my back. I snort back a laugh.
"Well… I just mean-" Dunnold starts, then cuts himself off, rubbing the back of his head. He opens his mouth to try again and then snaps it closed and goes back to eating his lunch - likely realising whatever he says will either reflect badly on myself or on his King.
"We like working for you, Lady Ruin," Tybbar concludes, scraping is plate clean. "Don't worry about us so much, it's our job after all."
I nod again and let that sink in before finishing off my plate.
We sit for a few minutes more to let our food go down before I request Dunnold go let my sister know that I am here if she still wants to talk. He mumbles something unintelligible and lopes off towards the top table, followed by Tybbars gaffaw of amusement.
I smile despite myself and watch as my guard approaches my sister, though they are barely visible from where I sit. Dunnold waits patiently for Truin to finish her conversation with the dwarrowdam beside her before leaning down to speak with her.
I see Thorin glance over at Dunnold, putting two and two together. I don't fool myself into thinking that Thorin can see me from where I am sitting, but I watch his eyes rove across the crowded room and I suspect he is looking anyway.
I smirk to myself and roll my shoulders to loosen the tension in my back. Truin stands, her golden hair stark against the blacks, browns and reds that surround her. She curtseys to the King and allows a red faced Dunnold to assist her down the steps from the top table before weaving her way over to me - Thorins eyes watching all the way.
"Ruin! There you are!" My sister says with a smile as she reaches me. "You disappeared so early this morning I didn't have chance to speak with you."
"I wanted to see Bruin," I say and she nods in understanding. "Our father passed on your message, that you wanted to speak with me?"
"Mmm! I just wanted to celebrate Bruin's recovery," She tells me, looping her arm through mine and tugging me towards the door. "Though it's a little early in the day for a celebratory drink.. How about some cakes instead?"
I consider turning her down, as I have just stuffed myself with a large lunch, but she has asked me twice now and I feel guilty saying no.
"I always have room for cake!" I tell her, and allow Truin to pull me along to what she claims to be the best desserts shop in Erebor.
Tybbar and Dunnold follow behind us, armour clanking as we traverse the Kingdom under the Mountain. It doesn't take long for us to find the small dessert stand down in the market as Truin seems to know exactly where to go.
I take a few minutes to choose some cakes for myself, ignoring the urge to buy a handful for Bruin despite Oin's warning that he cannot eat them right now. Truin purchases hers and I follow suit before we seek out somewhere a little quieter to eat.
We settle on a low wall at the very back of the market that surrounds a small mural inlaid into the wall with rubies and sapphires. I study it for a few moments but I can't depict what it was meant to be.
Once seated I pass the cakes I purchased for Tybbar and Dunnold to my guards, earning raised eyebrows from both of them as they move to eat a respectable distance away, to give Truin and me some privacy. I smirk as I realise what Dunnold meant when he said I am a lot more lenient than Thorin.
"How is he?" Truin asks, taking a dainty bite of her cream cake.
"Good, all things considered," I say with a nod then motion to my face. "He was very insistent about this."
"I can imagine!" Truin says, picking her cake apart on the wrapper in her lap. "What did he say?"
"Not much about my face itself, lots of questions of course," I say as I start on my own cake. "And I think he feels bad, to blame in part."
"Rubbish! It was hardly his fault," Truin says indignantly. "Why if he hadn't done what he did the King might have been in his place."
"Aye," I say breezily, as if that thought didn't haunt my dreams not too long ago. "But you know Bruin."
My sister lets out a hmm of agreement and dusts her fingers off so that she can tuck her hair behind her ear without fear of getting cream on her golden locks.
"I'm sure it won't be long until he is up and about again," Truin muses, her eyes wandering to the gems in the wall behind us then away again. "Much to Master Oin's annoyance."
"At least it won't be me this time." I chuckle, earning a laugh from my sister.
"True. No doubt Oin is looking forward to a break from our family by now," Truin says, finishing off her cake. Another one appears a moment later to take it's place.
"Very likely." I agree, watching the market bustle before us. It's as vibrant as ever, but this small corner feels shielded, private. "Truin, can I ask you a personal question?"
"Of course," She says, glancing up from her cake curiously.
"Do you believe in 'the one'?" I ask, glancing at her just long enough to register the surprise on her face before turning my attention back to the market.
"O-of course I do!" She says with a little laugh, picking at her second cake again. "Why, our own mother and father are proof enough of that!"
"I suppose that's true." I agree.
"You've heard the stories of how they got together, how can you not believe in it?" She asks incredulously.
I give her a side eyes and shrug. "I didn't not hear the stories… and I'm not saying I don't believe in it, I just… I can't figure it out."
"You didn't listen at all, did you?" Truin accuses with a laugh and I can't help but smile despite myself. "And I don't think it's something you're suppose to figure out."
"Then how do you know when you're feeling it and not just… regular feelings?" I ask, not sure I want to be asking such direct questions but unable to stop myself now.
"Mahal, I don't know Ruin," Truin says around an exasperated sigh. "Ask mother, I'm sure she'll be happy to tell you all about it."
I hum in agreement, not willing to tell her that I have asked mother already. And father. None of my family have been helpful with helping me resolve my feelings.
"One of Mahal's great mysteries, I suppose." I say with a laugh, shoving the rest of my cake into my mouth to avoid looking at my sister.
There is a few moments of silence where I wrack my brain for something to say to change the subject, but before I can, Truin gives me a nudge with her elbow and I turn to see a wide smile on her face.
"Well?" She prompts when I frown at her. "Who is he? That's why you're asking, isn't it? You've found someone?"
I bite the inside of my cheek and feel my neck start to warm. Truin chuckles to herself, her eyes bright as she watches me.
"Oh come on Ruin! You must tell me now!" She carries on.
"It not… I.. I don't know how I feel.. About him," I say, and she all but squeals at my admission that there is someone. "It's complicated."
"Oh how complicated can it be!" Truin laughs, almost giddy with excitement. "You like him - I assume he likes you back?"
"I-I think so." I say, lamely.
I hear a snort from behind me that quickly turns into a very fake cough and realise that Tybbar and Dunnold are not as far away as I thought they were. Truin glances round me to squint her eyes at Tybbar who I hear shuffle restlessly for a moment.
"Well I know who to ask if you don't give me enough information on your mystery paramour!" Truin laughs, and I close my eyes for a long second to stop myself from saying she would have better luck asking Dunnold.
"You're welcome to try," I say instead, then shake my head to clear it. "As I said, it's complicated - I care for him very much but…"
"Do you love him?" Truin asks, her voice a mix of exasperated sisterly affection and barely restrained glee.
I glance at her, then away. Mahal why did I start this conversation?
I think back to the moment I first saw Bruin lying in his hospital bed right after the attack. How heartbroken I was that he was hurt and dying and that I wished more than anything that it had not been him that had saved the King.
But I had not wanted Thorin to be the one lying there either. I would have done anything to have made sure it was not Thorin who took my brothers place.
The very idea makes my chest ache.
"Yes," I say, quiet enough that I'm not sure if Truin heard me. "I do love him."
And she leans towards me, takes my face in her hands and presses her forehead against mine with a smile. "Well, then it isn't so complicated after all!"
But I don't smile back, can only nod in response, and I carefully don't say that the reason it is complicated is because of her.
Well there you go! I really hope I can get another chapter up before Christmas - but if not, I hope you all have a lovely time! I hope you liked the chapter, please feel free to review/like/follow as you see fit! Much love!