Amy slammed the door to the Cliff Hanger lodge behind her.
"Well, she seemed pleasant." Rossi scoffed throwing his bag down on a bed closest to him.
"I wonder what she's here for." Reid wondered out loud looking at the closed door.
"What are you talking about genius?" Garcia asked.
"Well, the reason all these kids are here is because of addiction, abuse and disorders. I was just wondering what category she falls under."
"Reid, I think that's one of those questions you shouldn't ask while we're here." Hotch placed his bag on the bed next to Rossi's. Spencer was the smartest person he had ever met but his people skill lacked…a lot.
They unpacked their bags silently wondering through their own thoughts.
"Baby girl, you ok?" Morgan asked Garcia from across the room. She was sat in the middle of the bed she had picked with her laptop rested on her legs just staring at the screen. Morgan got up and joined her. Everyone else continued what they were doing but listened in to the friend's convocation.
"What you doing." He looked at the screen over her shoulder and saw that the name 'Shelby Merrick' was typed into one of her many computer software programs. Garcia's finger was hovering over the enter button "Penelope, Who's Shelby Merrick?" Morgan had a feeling he didn't need to ask that question.
"JJ is Shelby Merrick." She handed him a picture and the others joined her at her bed "This was on the floor in between the bed when we came in." Garcia pointed to the blonde girl in the picture that was stood to the far left. The girl's eyes were sunken and haunted. She was skinny and looked lost. "That's JJ; the names are on the back in order, and it says that girl is Shelby" The team scanned the picture for a moment "I'm scared were losing our gumdrop and I want to find out what she's hiding so we can help her but I don't want to betray her trust."
"Then don't." A quite voice came from the other end of the room making everyone jump. JJ looked over her team now gathered around the small bed and couldn't help but feel a little hint of betrayal as they were even considering looking up who Shelby Merrick was.
JJ walked over to the team, dropped her bag and took the picture from Morgan's hand.
"I remember this." JJ smiled at another memory "I was such a bitch to everyone. I refused to get close to anyone, to trust anyone because I thought if I let them in that they would hate what they saw and would leave me, so I kept them all away with my attitude." JJ sighed and gave the photo back "Please don't Pen. There are things in there that I don't think I'm ready for you to know just yet." JJ looked at her best friend with pleading eyes. Garcia nodded and closed the laptop. She didn't want to read about it, she wanted to hear about it from JJ, when she was ready to tell them.
"Thankyou." JJ picked her bag up from the foot of the bed where it had been dropped and looked at the whole team "So which ones mine?"
Rossi pointed to the bed last bed in the corner closest to the bathroom "That one."
"Of course, it is." JJ sighed and chuckled at the cruel jokes fate were playing on her.
"What is it JJ?" Hotch asked standing next to her.
"That was my bed when I was here." JJ laughed at how ironic the situation was becoming and walked over to it.
"We can swap if you want to Jayje." Emily offered.
She just shook her head "no its fine" then dropped her bag on the bed. As she stood at the top of the bed a memory filled her mind.
"Morgan, will you give me a hand please?" JJ didn't move her gaze.
"Sure." He got up and walked over.
"Could you pull it out?" Morgan looked puzzled at the action but nodded and started to pull the bed away from the wall. JJ walked over to the wall and bent down.
"It's still here." JJ smile at the carving on the wall that said 'Sisters 4eva, BFF's 4 life' JJ's smile faded when she saw another carving underneath it said 'too damaged to be helped' in her own handwriting. JJ had forgotten she'd written that the night she left.
Emily knelt next to her "Did you write that" She pointed to the second carving.
JJ didn't answer; she stood up with tears in her eyes and headed with her bag to the bathroom. She whispered "I'm going to take a shower" just loud enough for the others to hear.
They all listened for the shower to start running.
"What does it say Emily?" Hotch asked not being able to see into the small space.
"It says 'too damaged to be helped'." Emily sighed and sat on her bed. Without asking Emily and Morgan pushed the bed back up against the wall covering the markings.
"What the hell has happened to our girl?" Garcia sighed.
Emily was worried for her friend. She was hiding something massive, and it was tearing her apart. The cracks in the mask were starting to show, soon enough it would be gone, and she would have to face her past, with nothing but the teams support to fall back on. She prayed that it was enough... it had to be, or they would lose her possibly for good.
JJ spent the next 60 minutes in the shower. Burning hot water cascading down her body, she scrubbed and scrubbed till her skin was raw, till some of it started to bleed but still she didn't feel clean. It had been years since JJ had felt that way and the dirty-ness she was feeling just showed how much she was crumbling. Sighing at the fact that cleaning herself wasn't going to make her feel any less dirty JJ washed the soap of and climbed out.
The steam poured from under the door and into the room everyone was sitting in. Reid, Hotch and Emily were reading, Morgan was playing on his IPod and Rossi and Garcia were on their laptops.
"She's been in there ages, do you think someone should check on her?" Reid asked. But before anyone could answer the Genius the shower shut off and JJ poked her head and one arm out. They all stopped what they were doing and looked at her. Her eyes were puffy, her hair was dripping wet and she tiny blood spots up and down her arm. Garcia let out a little gasp. JJ found the floor very interesting and didn't meet anyone's gaze.
"Emily, can I borrow your hairbrush please, I think I left mine at the motel."
"Sure." Emily grabbed the brush from the nightstand and handed it to JJ. Emily got close enough to get a proper look at JJ's arm. Emily gave her a sympatric look knowing her other arm would most likely look the same. JJ turned back into the bathroom closing the door behind her.
"Was the blood on JJ's arms?" Reid asked.
"Yes" Emily ran her hand threw her hair. Her best friend was in more trouble that she first thought. And the idea she had in her head off what was going on was now more or less confirmed. There wouldn't be many reasons for JJ to be scrubbing her skin raw like that.
"From what?" Reid asked again as naïve as always.
"She's been scrubbing her body. There were a few on her chest and neck too." Morgan answered and that was when something clicked inside his head. No he thought too himself not wanting to believe what the evidence Infront of him was telling him, not our JJ please not her too. He too had figured out what was going on with JJ.
He knew some of it anyway.
JJ walked out of the bathroom, her hair dry and fresh cloths on. She handed Emily her brush just as there was a knock at the door.
"Come in." Morgan yelled watching JJ moving round the room unpacking her go bag and trying to make herself as small as possible.
"Hey guys sorry to interrupt." It was Peter "Dinner's ready."
"Great thanks" Hotch got of the bed he was sitting on and grabbed his jacket along with everyone else and they started too head towards the door. Peter walked passed the team to the other end of the room to where JJ was putting her jacket on.
"Shel," He took a deep breath, he wasn't sure how she was going to take what he was about to say. The team stopped in their tracks waiting to see what Peter had to say. JJ looked up at him "Their all here."
She had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach what has he done? "Who?" JJ sounded panicked.
"The other Cliffhangers. I called them all after you phoned about Jess. They all wanted to come a say goodbye her."
JJ stood in shock. She hadn't even thought that she might have to face her old friends. What was she going to do?
"Peter no…i…I'm not ready, why didn't you tell me?" JJ looked hurt and worried.
"Because I didn't want to risk you running or putting up those walls of yours any more than they already are. You need to face them sometime. They're not going to go away."
Garcia walked up to JJ and reached for her hand pulling her out of her momentary trance.
"C'mon sweet cheeks you haven't eaten in over 24 hours. Everything's going to be ok" Garcia walked JJ out the door with the others.
In that moment all the emotions and feelings she had as Shelby came jumping out of her box and overwhelmed her. She could feel Shelby starting to take over again and this time she didn't think she could control it.
They follower Peter out of their cabin and into the dining hall.
Peter stopped before they entered the large cafeteria doorway, "Are you ready Shelby?"
"No, not really" JJ she sighed defeated, not sure how much more emotional turmoil her tired body could take right.
"It'll be ok" Peter looked at the entire team "All the students have finished eating so it will just be you and the old Cliffhangers."
"mmmmm, yum Horizon food, There's something I haven't missed about this place." JJ chuckled lightly trying not to sound as petrified as she was feeling.
"It's not that bad Shel, I've lived of it long enough." Peter folded his arms across his chest faking a hurt look.
"That doesn't fill me with confidence my captain." Peter felt his heart flutter again at the use of his nickname he didn't realise he had missed so much. He gave her a glare along with a small smirk and walked into the dining hall. JJ cautiously followed him along with the others close behind.
JJ had barely stepped foot through the large cafeteria entrance when a tall very pregnant skinny brunet came running towards her and pulled her into a bone crushing hug.
"SHELBY!" She shrieked with glee.
"Hey, Jules." JJ whispered in her ear and pulled back placing a hand on her swollen belly "look at you!"
Two men and a woman then joined the pregnant brunette. A muscular man, a dark-skinned tall woman and a man with curly black hair.
"How you holding up lost girl?" The muscular man asked wrapping his arms round the skinny pregnant woman.
"Lost girl, really? Who came up with that?" JJ raised an eyebrow at the four people in front of her. The curly haired man raised his hand.
"Well Thankyou for that Ezra." The man known as Ezra smiled at JJ.
"You're welcome. Who are your friend's Shel?" He tipped his head to her team standing in the doorway behind the small group.
"They're the people I work with, my friends. That's Agent Hotchner…" JJ went to continue introducing her team but the dark-skinned woman stopped her.
"Wait! Your FBI?" she asked, taking a glance at JJ and then over the team behind her.
Hotch just nodded "yes we are"
"And that would make you….FBI as well." Ezra asked JJ with wide eyes who just nodded. Ezra turned to Hotch "You gave Shelby a gun! Are you insane!" Ezra sounded concerned but had a tint of a smirk on his face.
"Thanks Freaken." JJ looked a little hurt at him although she could understand why. The Girl they knew long ago should NEVER be given a gun.
"Actually." Reid started to talk at the back of the group "She's the best shot on the team." Rossi put his hand on Reid's shoulder to stop him from talking.
"Really?" The muscular man looked shocked; every member of the team nodded their heads in agreement with Reid.
"Watch your back Auggie, don't piss her off." Ezra teased with a laugh.
"Anyway" JJ want back to introductions "That's Agent Hotchner, Agent Rossi, Agent Morgan, Agent Prentiss, Dr. Reid and Penelope Garcia." JJ turned to the team "Guys this is" She pointed to the pregnant brunet "Juliette Waybourne" Then to the muscular man "Augie Ciceros" to the dark skinned woman "Kat Cabot, Ezra riedken….." JJ would have kept going and introduce the remaining two people. One being a woman with dark hair standing to their side a few feet away and the other, a man with blonde hair and a sad expression standing at the back off the cafeteria looking out the window but was interrupted by the woman.
"YOU BITCH!" The angry brunet lunged through the small group of people landing on JJ, pushing her to the floor and punching her round the face. Morgan, Emily, Peter and Sophie ran to the women on the floor and pulled the angry brunet off JJ. Morgan held her back as Emily helped JJ up.
"It's nice to see you to Daisy." JJ rubbed her jaw feeling her lip already start to swell. The woman went to lunge for JJ again but with Morgan still holding tight she didn't get very far "Pull that again Dais and you will find out how far my foot goes down your throat." The brunette stopped fighting "You can let go Morgan." which he did but he stayed close in case she did it again.
"And here I was thinking you might have changed." Daisy spat looking disgusted at JJ, then went back to the spot she was in before she jumped at her old friend.
"You ok JJ?" Emily asked looking over the small split lip she was now sporting.
"Yeah I'm fine." JJ rubbed the bit of blood on the back of her hand.
"JJ?" The blonde man at the back for the room questioned quietly, in fact if it wasn't for the room being silent no one would have heard him. "JJ?" he said a little louder no longer looking out the window.
"Scott i…" JJ was losing what little colour was in her face. It broke her heart to see her first true love look so lost and heart broken.
"Why did she call you JJ?" Scott asked looking confused. JJ walked through the small group of old cliffhangers Infront of her closer to him.
"Because JJ's my name, well Jennifer Jareau." Scott went from looking confuses to looking angry in less than a second.
"No wonder we couldn't find you." He was getting angrier with every word "We looked you know, we all did. Peter searched the woods, Sophie the town we even called the deputy then when we all left here we kept looking." JJ looked at the other Cliffhangers who just nodded looking sad "You changed your name!" He paused and looked JJ up and down "You let him win!" He spat.
"Scott don't do this, you don't know the reasons I left. You're not allowed to judge me!" JJ was getting mad as well. How dear he! How dear he judge me on what I thought I had to do!
"Oh I think out of everyone in this room I'm the only one that can judge you." You could see the anger in his eyes and JJ could see he was about to say something she didn't want him too.
"Scott" JJ glanced over her shoulder at the team who were watching JJ interact with the other people, Now was not the time or the place, she wanted/needed to tell them on her terms and no one else's "Stop."
" .God." Scott let out a cold laugh "They don't know do they?"
JJ gave him her best Shelby warning glare and he stopped laughing.
"Why? Don't you want them to find out what happened or what you did?" he asked still fuming, now it was JJ's turn to get mad at him. She could no longer hold in the explosive anger coursing through her veins and all the built emotions from the last 36 hours finally came spilling out.
"Before you judge me, my actions or the things I did Scott take a good look in the mirror because you're not perfect, you've made mistakes." She was too mad to think about the group of people behind her now, she couldn't control the out burst "Can you blame me for not telling them? For not telling anyone?" She got up into his face and was yelling "After the way you acted when I told you, the one person I thought I could confide in to understand what I was going through. I trusted you Scott to hold it together, to hold it together for me. And what did you do when you found out? What did you ask me SCOTT?" JJ was pushing her finger into his chest "Go on. WHAT DID YOU ASK?"
You could hear a pin drop in the room.
"How many…" Scott whispered now feeling guilty for getting angry and causing his blonde ex-girlfriend to act this way.
"With those two little words Scott you shattered every little bit of faith I had in you and what little faith I had left in the world. I could see it in your eyes, I disgusted you. You looked at me the way I look at myself in the mirror every morning." Tears were falling down JJ's cheeks.
"Shel, I'm sorry I didn't mean too…"
"Just leave it." JJ muttered and walked out the cafeteria onto the grounds of Mt. Horizon.
"JJ come back." Emily called after her, but JJ just kept going needing to clean herd and clam down.
"Well that went better than I thought it would." Peter whispered to Sophie.