Chapter 63

The morning sunlight shining gently across the girl's tear stained face woke her from her slumber, blinking sleepingly in the morning light. Where am I? She thought, her head resting against something warm and furry, her arms wrapped around it. She lifted her head, realising she was lying on Warrior in the forest, somewhere far from Heartland. Everything came flooding back, the trailer, the horses, Cherry. Her mad run, the sound of Jack's rifle, riding Warrior through the forest. She placed her head down against his, hugging him tight as tears started running down her cheeks again.

Warrior looked around, nudging her softly with his nose and the girl sat up again, wiping her tears away. 'I'm okay boy, I'm okay.' Her voice broke as she struggled to contain her emotions, trying to keep herself together. She closed her eyes, taking a moment to gather her bearings and control her thoughts and took a few deep breaths. You're okay, everything is alright. Everything will be fine. She opened her eyes again, forcing herself to think logically and make her next move. There would be time to deal with it later, she needed to figure out what to do next.

She looked around, not recognizing the forest glade surrounding them. Warrior had stopped in a small clearing, a little meadow surrounded by tall pines. She felt herself starting to panic, unable to find her bearings. Where am I? Where is home? Where do I go? Which way? I don't know, where am I? The stallion snorted, nudging her gently as she started to hyperventilate, sliding off his back and sinking to the ground. She held her knees in close to her chest, rocking back and forth as she started speaking to herself, trying to calm herself down.

The stallion sniffed at her, nudging her but the girl didn't move. She just sat there, starting to cry again and panic at the same time. He blew on her, nibbling at her hair but still she didn't respond to him. He snorted then laid down beside her, wrapping his neck around her and held her close.

"Where are we Warri? Where are we?' Jessie muttered over and over, crying, half-choking as she tried to get herself out of her panic attack. 'I'm okay, I'm okay. Everything will be alright.' Cherry. Suddenly another wave of emotion rushed over her and she couldn't hold it back, crying loudly as she held onto Warrior's neck. She was gone, her last link to Lillian was gone. There was nothing she could do.

'Jessie still hasn't come back?'

Jack and Lisa looked up as Cindy walked downstairs, coming into the living room where they were sitting on the couch. Jack shook his head, glancing out the window as the sun started to rise. 'Afraid not Cindy, I just went out to the barn to see if she was back but she's not.'

'I'm worried about her.' Cindy replied, climbing onto the couch between them and snuggling up to Lisa. 'Why isn't she back?'

'I don't know.' Lisa replied, kissing the girls head gently. 'She'll be back, you'll see.'

Jack placed his hand on the girl's shoulder then looked down as Cougar started to paw at his leg. 'Cindy, I think there's someone equally worried about Jessie. Why don't you go look after Cougar?'

She nodded, getting up after a moment. 'Come on girl.'

Lisa schooched closer to Jack after the girl left, Jack placing his arms around her. She'd only just heard about what had happened, he'd rung to tell her an hour ago that Jessie had taken off and hadn't come back yet and she'd come over as quickly as she could. He hadn't told her much, just that Ty's father had turned up with some horses, he'd had to put one down and Jessie hadn't returned. Jack had come into the house just literally before Cindy had walked in, she hadn't even had the chance to speak with him about what was going on. 'So-'

Jack sighed, his cheek resting against Lisa's head. 'The horse I had to put down was Cherry Blossom.'

The name rang a bell and she tried to think of how it was connected to the girl. She looked up at him then realized. Oh no. 'Not Lillian's mare?'

He nodded. 'I'm afraid so. Jessie was with her in the trailer, she knew it was here.' He still couldn't get the image of the girl telling him to put the mare down, how she tried to be strong as the tears ran down her cheeks. 'There was nothing I could do for the mare, she really wasn't going to make it till Scott got here.'

'You did the right thing Jack.' There was something she could see in his eyes, a troubled look that concerned her. She turned around, touching his cheek gently and looked into his eyes. 'Jack, you did the right thing.'

'I can't get it out of my head-' He replied, trying to not break down. 'The way she was holding onto the mare, telling her it was going to be okay, that she was going back with Lillian. Poor Jessie is going to be a mess and I was the one that pulled the trigger.' He could still see the way the horse had looked up at him, her eyes mellow and trusting, like she knew what he was about to do and was accepting it. 'I've had to put down horses before but it was more than that. How can I face Jessie? I put down the last thing she had left of Lillian.'

'Oh Jack.' She wished there was something she could do. Jack was always the strong one, he was always the one comforting her and she didn't know what to do when the tables were turned. She stroked his cheek again, tears coming to her own eyes seeing how much it had affected him. 'Jack-' She paused, her mind completely blank. What could she say? 'Honey, she isn't going to hold it against you. You did what you had to do, you couldn't let the mare suffer. Jessie understands. It's something you guys are going to have to work through together.' He nodded but she could see he still wasn't convinced. 'I can promise you Jessie won't hold it against you. She loves you too much. She's going to hurt for awhile but she won't be angry at you.'

'I hope she's alright.' He replied after a moment, looking at the clock. 'I'm going out to look for her.'

'No Jack. I'll go look for her.' Jack went to protest but she placed her finger to his lips. 'It's best if I go Jack, I don't think it would be good for either of you if she's a total mess. You need to work through your emotions before you can help her. Trust me.'

Jack nodded then gave her a small smile. He knew what she was saying made sense and part of him was actually relieved that she would go look for her instead. Truth be told he wasn't looking forward to their first conversation. 'I trust you.' He cupped her face with his hands, Lisa smiling at him. 'I love you so much Lisa Stillman.'

'I love you too.' She replied then looked at the clock. 'I'm going to look for her, what horse can I take?'

'Take Paint, he'll look after you.'

'Thank you Jack.' She stood up, then gave him a kiss. 'Things will be okay, trust me.'

The sound of Paint's hooves on the hardened path mixed with that of the leaves gently rustling and a couple sparrows singing sweetly. Lisa looked around, patting the gelding's shoulder as he trotted on. She'd been riding for sometime now yet still hadn't seen any sign of the girl. She sighed, surveying the landscape again as Paint turned down another bridle path. It hadn't changed much, she remembered every nook and cranny of the bridle paths around Heartland and Fairfield and the surrounding area. There was a time when she'd ridden them almost daily, with-

Paint stopped suddenly, snorting and she patted his shoulder. 'What's wrong boy?' His ears were pricked, his nostrils flaring softly as he smelt the air. She looked around, she couldn't see anything out of the ordinary. 'There's nothing there boy. Let's go.'

The gelding stepped forward again but this time going off into the trees alongside the trail. 'Where are we going boy? The trail's that way.' She tried to turn him back but the gelding plodded on, his ears pricked and his step quickening slightly. Suddenly they came out of the trees into a small clearing and as she looked around she could see the shape of a horse and a girl sitting on the ground.

The gelding needed no encouragement to go faster, springing into a fast canter towards the girl. Lisa slowed him to a stop as they reached her, the stallion lifting his head to look at her as she dismounted. Ground tying Paint she cautiously walked towards the girl, placing her hand on the girls shoulder as she knelt beside her. Warrior sniffed her then sniffed the girl and got up, joining Paint to graze. The girl didn't even seem to notice her presence or Warrior's absence, just sobbing and rocking herself back and forth. Her heart broke. 'Jessie, honey-'

Suddenly the girl barreled into her, clutching onto her as the woman wrapped her in her arms. 'L-lis-sa.' The girl managed to choke out in strangled sobs, her face buried in the woman's chest as she cried.

'Ssssh, Ssssh. it's okay sweetheart. I'm here.' She rested her cheek against the girl's head, rubbing her back. 'I'm here honey, I'm here. It'll be okay, you'll be okay.' She kissed the girls head, holding her until the girl started to calm down. Jessie took a couple deep breaths then collapsed into her hold, utterly spent and exhausted. 'I'm here honey, I'm here.' She soothed, her chin resting on the girl's head. 'Your okay.'

Jessie closed her eyes, her pounding heart starting to slow as she calmed down. Lisa's arms around her never felt so good, she'd been so scared and frightened and upset she couldn't cope anymore. She rested for a while, the two of them sitting in silence as her breathing slowly became steady again and not crying gasps. 'How-How did you find me? Why did you come looking for me?'

'Paint led me to you, he heard your crying.' She replied softly, kissing the girls head. 'I came honey because I love you and I'm worried about you. I heard what happened sweetheart, I'm so sorry.'

Jessie nodded, biting her lip as she looked at the ground. 'The-There wasn't anything else we could have done for her. She was hurt so bad-' She paused, containing a sob. 'She's the last thing I have left of Lillian, now she's gone.'

'I know honey, I know.' She kissed her head again, resting her cheek against the girl's long hair. 'She's in a better place now Jess, I bet she's galloping through green grass knee high with Lillian on her back.'

'You think so?'

'I think so.'

The girl was silent again for a moment, resting against her as the woman continued to rub her back gently. 'I failed her Lisa, I failed both of them. I promised Lillian I would always look after Cherry and I failed. I thought i had done the right thing, setting her free, now she's gone.'

'It's not your fault honey.'

'I should have taken her with me, I should have looked after her.' She bit her lip. 'It is my fault, I let her down.'

'Jessie, honey, it's not your fault.' Lisa reinstated, looking into the girl's eyes. 'Did you feel at the time you were doing the right thing?' The girl nodded, glancing at her for a second then looked at the ground. 'That's all Lillian would have asked, that you do what you felt to be right. It's not your fault honey, there was nothing you could have done to change what happened.'

She was quiet for a moment, her voice barely audible when she spoke again. 'I should have been there. I should have been there to watch her. I turned her loose with the wild horses, what has happened to them? Someone caught her and sent her to the auction, what about the rest of them? I should have been there, I might have been able to protect them.'

Lisa rubbed her cheek against the girls head again, holding the girl tight. 'Sometimes things happen and there's nothing we can do about it. I know that mare meant a lot to you sweetheart but honey-' She lifted the girls chin gently. ' You had no way of knowing what would happen, you did what you thought was best, I promise you that Cherry loved being free, you gave her the best thing you ever could.' She stroked her cheek gently. 'You can't be so hard on yourself sweetheart.'

'I know.' She sniffled, her head resting again against Lisa's chest, listening to her heartbeat. 'I just can't get her out of my mind, the way she was looking at me-' She paused, letting herself relax in Lisa's embrace. 'She was so trusting, she thought I was going to make everything better. Now she's gone-'

She stroked the girls long hair as Jessie began to sob quietly again, her heart breaking. She hated seeing her in so much pain, being so upset. She wished she could take her pain away, somehow make it better again. 'Ssssh, it's okay honey. I'm here. It's going to be okay.'

Jessie nodded, tears running down her cheeks as she closed her eyes and rested again in Lisa's arms. She cried, letting her guard down and letting it all out as Lisa held her. She cried until she had no tears left, totally and utterly exhausted. They sat there in silence after she'd finished crying and had gained her composure again, wiping her eyes then looked up at the woman. 'How's Jack?'

How's Jack? She smiled, wiping the girls cheeks. Even when the girl was upset she still thought of others. It was one trait she had that made her special and stand out from the rest. 'He's alright honey, he's more worried about you my girl.'

'He's not upset that I didn't go back?'

'No honey, he's just worried about you.' Lisa smiled again, tucking a loose lock of the girl's hair behind her ear. 'He's okay.'

'I hope he's not worried that I'm mad with him, because I'm not. I know it was best for Cherry, as hard as it is.' She replied after a moment, watching Warrior as he and Paint grazed together. 'I need to talk to him.'

'You sure?'

The girl nodded as she stood up, her face solem and her eyes sober. 'I need to Lisa. I don't want him to be upset. I know putting down a horse is hard, I've done it myself but him knowing that that horse was Cherry-' She paused, the name catching in her throat. 'It wouldn't have been easy.'

Lisa smiled, placing her arm around the girls shoulders as they walked over to their horses. 'You really amaze me honey, you're always thinking about others. Your strength and courage is something to be commended honey, you really are something special sweetheart.'

That made Jessie smile and chuckle a little bit, blushing slightly. 'I just don't like other people being upset, I'm barely keeping myself together but I don't like other people to be sad. I don't know, I guess I just always want to make things right. Help other people fix things in their life because that way I don't have to think about my own problems.'

'I've noticed that about you honey, you do always try and make things better but don't forget to look after yourself.' She kissed the girls cheek gently as they reached the horses, Paint and Warrior walking over to them. She grabbed the reins, placing them over the gelding's neck. 'You need a leg up?'

'No, I've got it.' Jessie grabbed a lock of Warrior's mane then sprung up, patting the stallion once she was settled on his back. She waited while Lisa mounted then nudged Warrior into a walk to keep pace with Paint. 'Thank you for coming and finding me, I don't know what I would have done. I've got no idea where on earth I am.'

'It's okay honey.' She smiled, looking at the girl. 'You don't have to thank me. I'm just glad you're alright.'

The girl nodded, looking down at the ground as Warrior moved smoothly beneath her. 'I will be, in time.'

Jessie saw Scott's truck parked outside the barn as she and Lisa rode up, dismounting the horses at the round yard and she turned Warrior into the pen while Lisa tied Paint up to the rail. Warrior sniffed her hands then nudged her as she stood at the gate and she smiled sadly. 'I'm alright boy, I'll be okay.' She gave him a pat then closed the gate and started for the barn. Scott was with one of the horses, placing him on a drip with Caleb's help. Amy was with another horse, trying to encourage her to drink. Lisa came beside her, placing her arm around the girl as she looked at what was going on. 'How are they?'

'These ones are the worst.' Scott replied, grabbing his stethoscope to check the horse's heart sounds. 'They're severely dehydrated, they were without water for a long time and the heat certainly didn't help them.'

'Poor guys.' She patted the chestnut he was working on, the horse too exhausted to even sniff her hand. She felt Lisa's arm around her, thankful for her presence. 'And the others?'

'The ones in the back pen will be alright, these one's need the most attention right now.'

'Do you think they'll be okay?'

'Given time they should all be fine.'

She looked down again as Scott went silent, turning back to the horse. What did it matter? Cherry was gone. The other horses were the lucky ones. Why did it have to be Cherry that had been hurt? 'That's good.' She half mumbled after a moment, about to add something when Lou walked in, phone and notepad in hand.

'So it turns out Ty's dad was telling the truth. He picked up the horses at a livestock auction house near Spencerville.'

Scott gave the horse a pat, placing his stethoscope away. 'Where was he taking them?'

'Um, it just says DRC Exports.' She repeated what she'd been told on the phone. 'Have you ever heard of it?'

'Yeah, it's a slaughterhouse up north.'

'It was a meat truck?' Amy spun around, looking at Lou.

'I overheard Brad on the phone with his boss.' Lou replied, turning to Amy. 'He's making the delivery when the horses recover.'

'He can't do that Lou. These horses were put on a cattle truck. That's got to be illegal.'

'I don't think it is Amy.' Scott replied, glancing over at Jessie. The girl's face was sober, her mouth set in a hard line. He could see in her eyes that she was upset though, regardless of the emotionless face she was wearing. He patted the horse again, making a mental note to talk to her as soon as he'd finished.

'We have to do something.'

'I'll file a report with the RCMP, but I wouldn't get my hopes up if I were you.'

Lou was silent for a moment then a thought came to her mind and she started for the door again. 'I'm going to call Rodriguez.'

'Sounds like a whole lot of trouble for a bunch of horses on a one-way trip.' Caleb spoke up, holding onto the horse for Scott

Something sturried inside Jessie, her eyes flashing angrily. 'How can you say that?'

'Sorry.' He shrugged. 'I don't mean to sound cold, but this type of thing happens all the time.'

'Doesn't make it right.' Amy replied, turning back to the horse. 'Caleb, can you get some more water?'

'Sure.'

'I'm going to go untack Paint.' Lisa whispered to Jessie, patting her shoulder. 'You okay?'

'I'll be fine.'

'Alright.'

'I'm just about finished here.' Scott exclaimed, leaving the horse's stall as Lisa walked out of the barn. 'I'm going to go tidy up then how about we go for a walk Jessie?'

The girl nodded after a moment. 'Okay.' She turned to Amy, joining her beside the horse. She gave the bay a pat. 'Poor guys.'

'Yeah, a meat truck.' Amy replied sadly then turned to her. 'How are you doing Jessie?'

'I'm alright, I guess.' She gave the horse another pat then looked back at Amy. 'How's Cindy? I forgot to ask Lisa.'

'She's inside, her and Mallory are playing a game.'

'Good.' Jessie went quiet again, absentmindedly patting the horse as Caleb brought Amy another pail then left, Amy offering the water to the horse again.

'Jessie?' The girl glanced around at her name being called, walking over to Scott as he picked up the last of his supplies and they walked out to his truck. He placed his case in the back then turned to the girl. 'I heard about last night. I'm sorry Jessie.'

'Thanks Scott.' She smiled sadly, her eyes starting to glisten with tears again as they headed towards the pond. 'That means a lot.'

He nodded, sitting down on the bench as the girl took a seat beside him. 'I know how hard it is to lose a horse, 'specially one that you love.'

'She was the last thing I had left of Lillian.' She replied, looking down at her hands. 'Now she's gone too.'

Scott nodded, hesitating for a moment then placed his hand on the girl's shoulder. 'I know it doesn't help much but I'm here for you, whenever you need me.'

'It means a lot.' She half smiled, looking up at him. 'Do you mind if we just sit here and don't talk? I don't feel very much like talking.'

'That's just fine.'

Jessie turned back to the pond, watching a couple of wild ducks swimming as she started sorting through her thoughts. Cherry was gone, there was nothing she could do about it. Nothing she could do to change that fact. The rest of the horses were going to the slaughterhouse, it was small comfort at least that that wouldn't be Cherry's fate. She sighed, one of the ducks diving under the water at the sound. Just when things were looking up life had to throw another curveball.