Big thanks to Sally for editing this! Thanks for putting up with my constant emails!

13

"What have I made you realize?"

I barely breathed as I scrawled out the question. As I waited for his response, my heart raced so quickly I wondered if he'd notice. Could he hear the shortness of my breath? The loud thump of my heart? Did the pace of his pulse match mine? Was he just as nervous? Just as timid?

There was something about the way we were speaking to each other that felt like crossing a line. No longer were we boss and employee. No longer were we just friends. The look in his eyes was potent. Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe it was the loneliness that plagued us both. Whatever it was, the air surrounding us was heavy. I opened my mouth to gasp for a breath, fearing there wouldn't be enough oxygen to sate me.

I looked into his eyes and felt like I was falling. There was no longer concrete beneath my sneakers. Instead, I was drifting in the air—swimming with the stars. Was I intoxicated? Had the small bit of alcohol I'd consumed been my undoing? Or was it him? Was it the way he looked at me that made me feel so full and alive?

I had moved through life with a half empty glass, and now, with him, I felt like I was overflowing. His gaze pinned me to where I sat as he thought of his response. It was obvious he was being careful with his words. Was he fearing saying too much? Too little? Did he fear this energy sparking between us?

"You made me realize that I'm still alive, Bella," he said after a moment. "Since the accident, I've walked through life half-awake. I've made it through each day but never allowed myself to live. You get that, don't you? Depriving yourself of happiness? Since I've met you, I don't feel so alone."

There wasn't a moment in which I didn't feel half-alive. Getting by was more than I could manage. Numbness was so natural that I had forgotten how to live. As my eyes burned, I reached across the table and held onto Edward's hand. I hoped he could feel the solidarity in my action. Even if I could speak, I doubted any word I would utter would be enough.

Above us, the night sky became murky. Rain clouds rolled in as the air became humid. Still, the night was beautiful. Stars managed to peak through the clouds, and the moon still shone down on the garden's flowers. I was half-tempted to stand up, abandoning our game for a moment to peer at the roses more closely.

Edward seemed to have read my mind and stood up first. With an eager look, I followed him, letting him guide me through the flowers he had dedicated so much of his time planting. After a bit, he paused in front of a rose bush and stood there gazing. It was hard to choose a better view—Edward or the beautiful roses. Unable to decide, I let my gaze dance between them.

The way the lights and the moonlight highlighted Edward's face was divine, resembling something from an old painting. He looked like a muse against the moonlight. Someone who could inspire sonnets and sculptures. In his eyes, was I inspiring too?

There was a kindness to his features that made me feel warm. It felt like slipping beneath a blanket by the fire during a harsh winter storm. He wasn't only beautiful—he was safe. Before I could pull my gaze away to peer back at the flowers, Edward turned to look at me. He caught me staring and I blushed, unable to help my body's reactions to him.

"I thought you'd want to look at the flowers," he commented in a voice that was heavier than anything I had ever heard from him.

I nodded but couldn't pull my gaze from him. Despite the garden's beauty, it was Edward who captured my attention. With him near, everything else seemed to pale in comparison. For the first time in my life, I was absolutely lovesick. Was this what a crush felt like? It was as frightening as it was exhilarating.

Even without the ability to speak, I was certain that my eyes conveyed everything I wanted to say. My gaze was as heavy as Edward's voice had been moments before. For the first time in my life, desire rushed through me. My knees felt weak; my heart raced to the point that I feared I might pass out; my core became damp and needy, searching for friction and attention and God knows what else. Could he smell my desire? Was it obvious how deeply he affected me?

His breath hitched as I leaned into him. I couldn't help the way my body seemed to move on its own accord. His lips looked so heavenly, and I wanted a taste. Throughout my life, sex had been a chore—a necessary evil to living. There had never been an instance in which I enjoyed it. Desire felt like something meant for everyone else. Growing up, I feared I wasn't wired right. So many people with my past were sex obsessed while I was entirely the opposite. Masturbation was something that was a rarity. Even then, I touched myself more to see if I was working properly than to actually achieve pleasure. Every orgasm had felt like a faint fluttering—nothing as overwhelming as porn would suggest. If Edward were the one to touch me, I'd bet anything it would be different.

By just looking my way, he overwhelmed me completely. Tonight, on this rooftop, I felt like I was sharing a small sliver of the world with him. Surrounded by flowers, this felt like our secret spot. A spot where the past didn't matter—the future didn't matter either. Nothing mattered aside from this moment. In this small sliver of time and space, there was just the two of us. The two of us surrounded by so much beauty and the heavenly night sky.

When I leaned into him, he didn't stop me. Instead, he opened himself up, showing me a part of himself that I doubted he had shown anyone in a long time. Beneath the stars, he showed me his vulnerability, and in that moment, he was more than Edward—he was mine.

My arms wrapped around his waist, and within seconds, his arms did the same. We were tangled in each other's limbs, waiting to baptize ourselves in this moment, as his lips came down to find mine. Our kiss was subtle at first—like two teenagers experimenting. Any kiss I'd had before this felt like nothing. What I was experiencing now was something different.

His lips were soft and gentle—teasing at times—as he searched for how far he could go without pushing me off the edge. My mouth opened to his, and his tongue ventured between my lips until it was coaxing mine. How long had it been since someone kissed me with such tenderness? Had I ever felt something like this? We were only friends, but his lips tasted like love.

Love and desire and something I couldn't put my finger on. With my body, I showed him all of the feelings that my voice couldn't express. My hands ascended the muscles of his back. He was strong and sturdy without being bulky, and I found that I wanted to kiss and lick every single inch of him.

My hands eventually found his neck. I massaged there for a moment, feeling him relax further as his tongue played with mine, before moving up to grip his hair. His copper locks were silky against my fingers, and I tugged ever so gently and smiled against his lips as I felt his hands move upward to do the same.

Lightening crashed in the distance, causing me to jump against him. Our kiss broke, and he smiled at me before gazing up at the sky. The clouds were darker now, suggesting rain would begin falling in no time. Edward pulled me against his chest, and I pressed my face against the stiff comfort of his muscles. I felt his lips in my hair, and then they found my forehead, kissing me in a way that was so gentle I felt I might cry.

I pulled away from his chest to look at him. His lips were red and slightly puffy, and pride filled me as I knew the reason behind their irritation was me. Were my lips just as red? Did I look as flushed as I felt?

Edward's eyes were darker than usual, filled with lust behind his glasses. His hair was wild, jutting in every direction now. The tips of his ears were slightly red, and I wanted to suck on them. The oncoming storm made him appear even more wild against the night, and I rose to my tiptoes before pressing a gentle kiss against his lips.

My eyes closed as his lips began to work against mine again. Moments later, I felt the first drop of rain—it splashed against my cheek before trailing off my jaw and falling toward the concrete. Another drop came. And then another. Until the rain was falling at a steady but gentle pace.

Too wrapped up in the moment, neither Edward nor I pulled away. The rain began to fall harder, drenching our clothes as we remained still, kissing as if we hadn't a care in the world. Maybe for the moment, we really didn't have one. There was only the two of us here after all, and that seemed like the only thing that mattered.

As the storm really picked up, Edward pulled away, and we shared a laugh. The sound was childlike and freeing, and for a moment, I felt so normal. This was what it must feel like to be happy.

Perfectly and incandescently happy.

"Should we go back inside? I don't want you to catch a cold."

His hands were still on me, pressing into my shoulder as he provided me with more comfort than he could have known. I peered up at him, taking a moment to memorize the way he looked against the tumultuous clouds and the dreary night sky, before nodding my head and making an effort not to smile too hard.

Was he sharing this happiness with me? This moment was ours. Even if nothing moved farther past this point, I would remember these moments for the rest of my life. If someone were ever to ask, When was a time that you felt truly happy?, this moment would come flooding back, filling my memories with a happiness that felt like sunshine.

It started to pour as Edward took my hand and led me to the door. Laughter bubbled inside of me and spilled over, and as it did, I realized this was the first sound I had made since that incident on the roof. Already, those horrible memories had started to be replaced with happier ones.

Thank God for that. Thank God for Edward.

As he swung open the door leading to the stairway, Edward joined in my laughter, and soon, we felt like two youths enjoying a rainy, summer day. I was no longer Bella. He was no longer Edward. We were us. Two people, hand in hand, enjoying a snapshot in time.

How long would this last? I didn't really care. It didn't matter if this lasted a moment or years and years. This was something I could hold on to when the days became dark. Later, I could look back at this and remember that I had been happy once before. Pure moments like this were so difficult to find. Some people lived a lifetime without experiencing them. So, regardless of everything else, I was lucky. I was lucky to be here. I was lucky to be alive. I was lucky to be happy.

With youthful smiles and drenched clothes, we jogged hand in hand to his apartment. We were still laughing together and soaking up the moment as he closed his apartment door and pulled to hold me close. Together, we shivered against his A/C. Then he kissed my forehead before pulling back.

"I'll grab a few towels," he said as he turned to move back to his room. Then he stopped midway as if remembering something and turned to look at me. "Would you like a change of clothes?"

Me? Wearing my boss's clothes? I didn't care whether or not it was a good idea. I nodded my head and watched as he left the room. My nipples puckered against the thin fabric of my shirt, but I didn't cover my breasts with my arms. I wanted Edward to see me like this. I wanted him to understand the lust he inspired.

When he walked back into the room with towels and a change of clothes, his eyes dropped to my chest. I bit down on my nether lip to hide a smile as I stepped forward with my arms outstretched.

"Here you go," he said as he handed me the towel and change of clothes and tried not to look at my chest. "You can use my bathroom to wash up, if you want. I know I probably don't have all of the products you use … but feel free to shower, if you want."

With a shy smile, I nodded my head, hoping he would understand my gratitude. He pointed toward the bathroom, and I nodded a sort of thank you again before passing him to move down the hall. As soon as I entered the bathroom and shut the door, I heard the TV switch on to what sounded like the nightly news.

Still thinking of him, I stripped out of my wet clothes. I gazed at his shower, wondering if it would feel better than the motel shower I had become so used to. As tempting as it looked, I decided against it. I wanted to go home tonight smelling like the rain and his cologne. I didn't want to wash away the scent he left from kissing me. I'd bask in that scent as long as I could. I would go to bed tonight engulfed in it, hoping it would inspire pleasant dreams filled with him and his touch.

So, instead, I combed through my hair with my fingers, hoping it would dry into pretty curls rather than a frizzy mess, and wiped the residue of eyeliner from under my bottom lash line. Afterward, I couldn't help but take a moment to gaze at my reflection in the mirror.

I had never spent much time in the past looking at myself naked, but now, I skimmed over my curves as I tried to think of a third-party opinion on them. I wasn't too thin, but I wasn't too chubby either. There was a roundness to my belly that I was certain all women had. My breasts were full yet still rather perky. My thighs were thick and sturdy, making any sort of thigh gap impossible. The way Edward had kissed me earlier caused me to feel beautiful—so, now I could only look at my body with an appreciative glance.

With another blush, I reached down to grab the pile of clothes Edward had kindly given me. There was an oversized white T-shirt and a pair of gym shorts. Unable to help myself, I brought the clothes up to my nose and inhaled. They smelled like laundry detergent and cologne. I smiled as I slipped the shirt over my head. Without a bra on—it was drenched and discarded on the bathroom floor—my nipples puckered against the fabric. That would just have to do for tonight.

I slipped off my wet panties, adding them to the pile on the floor, before slipping on his gym shorts. Having something that he had worn against my most intimate of areas caused my blush to deepen. When I gave these back to him later, would he find evidence of my wet core against the fabric? The thought alone made my core pulse.

After a moment, I gathered my things and carried them out of the bathroom. Edward was in the kitchen, stirring something in a pot over the stove. He turned to look at me when I stepped into the room and let his eyes roam over my body before he remembered himself and snapped his gaze back up to look at my eyes.

"I thought you might like hot chocolate. I always make some for myself on days like this."

I smiled, wanting to say, "Hot chocolate is perfect! Thank you!"

"Shit. Your pad and paper are both still up on the roof—they're probably drenched by now." He looked around the kitchen before coming across a pad of lined paper that said "To-Do List" on it and a short pencil. "Here. if you want to write anything for me," he said as he set the pad and pencil down on the kitchen island.

I stepped forward, picking up the pencil with my free hand to write, "Thank you."

"I can take your clothes, if you want. If you have time. I'll do your laundry for you before you leave."

"Thank you," I wrote again before Edward stepped forward and took the load of laundry from my grasp.

As he stepped away, I rounded the island to stand beside the stove. The hot chocolate smelled divine. This combined with the patter of rain against the apartment's windows made me feel cozier than ever. Seconds later, Edward jogged back into the room to turn off the stove and grab mugs from the cabinet.

"Do you want marshmallows and whipped cream?" he asked before turning to see my response.

I nodded, not bothering to hide my smile. The thought of this man having marshmallows and cans of whipped cream in his house warmed my heart. Despite being so handsome, there was something so endearing about him. I smiled while watching him pour our drinks before topping them off with more sugar in the form of marshmallows and cream.

"Want to watch a movie or something while your clothes wash?"

I nodded, letting him lead me toward the living room. He sat on the couch and handed me the remote.

"You can pick something. I'll go grab some blankets for us."

There was something about this scene that felt so domestic. Was this really my life now? Was this really us? He was my boss, but right now, he felt like so much more than that.

More than a boss … More than a friend … I wanted him to be everything all at once. Was that normal? Was that healthy? I didn't care. I wanted him. I wanted tonight.

A/N: Have any of you had a crush on your boss before? If I had a boss like Edward, I'd for sure go crazy for them.

See you next update! Happy Sunday!

xoxo