DIMITRI
When we arrived back at Guest Housing, we weren't alone.
Adrian leaned against the outside wall, cigarette between his fingers, scanning across the grounds with such nervous energy that I could almost see him shaking.
When his eyes crossed over Rose and me, he threw the spent cigarette on the ground, crushed it under his foot, and rushed in our direction.
"Rose! There you are."
Rose ran to meet him, colliding into his open embrace as he started fussing over her.
"Where have you been? What happened?" His questions came rapid fire, without room for her to answer. "We've been so worried! Are you okay? People are saying…well, they're saying all sorts of things."
"What things?" Rose's brow furrowed, and I could see her anxiety building again. "Adrian, what are they saying?"
"Maybe we should take this inside," I suggested. It wouldn't be long until someone spotted us, and I didn't want to fuel the rumor mill any more than necessary.
The three of us moved to the cafe where Rose and I had eaten breakfast this morning, sitting at the table furthest from the window. When he couldn't take it anymore, Adrian started in again with his interrogation.
"What's going on, Rose? You disappeared yesterday. Lissa said something had happened. Something..." his voice dropped as if someone would overhear us. "She said something bad happened but didn't give me many details. She also said you weren't in any of your classes today."
Rose groaned as she propped her elbows on the table and let her face fall into her hands. Peeking through her fingers, she started to explain. "Remember that darkness you kept warning me about?"
He nodded, and I watched him check her aura real quickly. Though he didn't say anything, I saw his eyes widen in surprise. I made a quick mental note to ask him about it later.
Rose didn't seem to catch his examination and pressed on with her story.
"Well, I think it finally took over yesterday. Some idiots were harassing Lissa out by the lake, and when I saw it…." Her stare drifted to the space beyond us. A second later, she gave a little shiver and focused her attention back on her friend. "I don't know, Adrian. I just snapped. I attacked him. Hurt him. If Dimitri hadn't taken me away…well, I'm not sure what would have happened."
I had to shut my eyes against the memories. Rose was downplaying it for Adrian, but it still haunted me. I had never seen her like that. I don't think I had seen any living creature so bent on pain and punishment. It was almost as if she was a wild, rabid animal. She growled and bared her teeth at everyone around her, ready to bite if they got too close. There was a moment when I honestly thought I had lost her to whatever dark thing had taken over. It was terrifying, and the thought of that ever happening again filled me with dread.
Adrian looked towards me for a moment, and when I didn't dispute Rose's story, a look of horror fell over him. He reached his hand across the table and covered hers. "I'm so sorry. Are you okay now?"
"Yeah. I think I'm okay." Her eyes flashed to me for a moment, and the slightest hint of a blush colored her cheeks. "Dimitri helped me last night. He pulled me back."
He startled back and looked between us. He didn't ask, but I could see the question on his lips. I had no plans to share what happened back at the cabin, but I don't think it took much for him to see the truth. Even if it wasn't written all over our faces, I'm sure it was evident in our auras.
"So, what now?" Adrian asked, deciding to ignore whatever he saw through Spirit.
"They expelled me." It didn't matter how often she said it; it still shocked me every time. "I have to leave before Monday."
"You're kidding me." I couldn't tell if he was confused, angry, or hopeful that this was all just some sick joke.
Rose shook her head, and that was enough to send him flying out of his chair. "That's bullshit!"
"I know, but…" Rose looked at him with concern, obviously just as surprised at his reaction as I was.
I tried to cut in before things escalated. "Adrian, you need to calm down."
"No! You need to calm down!" As he raged, he sliced his hand through the air, brandishing it toward me like a machete. "You can't let them do this to her. They can't just throw Rose out. Maybe I can… I'll…"
Rose stood and circled around the table to stop him when he began to pace. There was half a second where I wanted to pull her back, but he stopped the moment she was in front of him.
She clasped him by the shoulders. "It's done, Adrian. It's already done."
One look at her resigned expression, and he slumped into a dejected sort of posture. He looked like I felt; heartbroken, bitter, and somehow still hoping to find a way to make things better.
"Maybe I can talk to my aunt?" Queen Tatiana's word might be the only thing that could stop all this, but she wasn't exactly a fan of Rose. Honestly, she'd probably be more than happy to be rid of Rose.
"It's okay, Adrian. Really." She tried to smile for him, but it didn't reach her eyes.
"It's not." He argued.
She pulled him into another hug, and though he held her tight enough to muffle her words, I could still hear her gentle assurance. "It will be."
I hated that she was comforting him when she was the one that deserved sympathy and encouragement. That was Rose's way, though. She always took care of everyone else and put their needs above her own. When he finally settled a little, she urged him back into his seat.
"So what are you going to do now, Little Dhampir?" I wasn't fond of his little pet name for Rose, but it made her smile so I ignored it.
"That's the big question, isn't it? I don't really know right now."
Adrian thought for a moment. "What if you stayed with me?"
She rolled her eyes. "I can't stay, Adrian. They're kicking me out, remember? They aren't going to let me crash in Guest Housing for much longer."
"No, no." He chuckled for a moment. "I mean, you can stay with me at Court. I have an apartment there. I know I've been working with Lissa for the past few months, but I can have everything set up by tomorrow if you want. Whatever you need."
I tensed but stayed silent. I didn't like the idea of Rose living with Adrian, especially since he wasn't subtle with his intentions towards her. Even if he knew Rose and I were together, I doubt he would ease up on the flirtation. Still, it was a viable option. I had my own offer to suggest, but this was something that could keep her close by. If that's what she wanted, I wouldn't try to sway her in another direction.
Rose narrowed her eyes and smirked, playfully joking about the same concerns I had about the situation.
"Well, that's a new way of getting me into your bed." I didn't miss the sparkle in her eye as she teased him.
They both dissolved into laughter, his baritone echoing her sweeter giggles. Even I smiled, though it was more because I loved seeing her happiness.
"You know me," he taunted, leaning back in his chair so far that it teetered on two legs. "Always gotta try. I won't even make you pay rent. Just do dishes or something."
"Nope. I don't do dishes."
He raised a brow in interest. "Cleaning?"
"Nuh-uh. Not gonna happen."
With a dramatic sigh and a wink, he made his final offer. "Well, I'm sure we can work something out later. Maybe without the Russian giving me the death glare."
He had to quickly right himself as Rose leaned over to smack his shoulder, nearly throwing him off balance.
Even knowing without a doubt that Rose loved me, that I was the one with her heart, I still had to bite my tongue to keep from pulling her out of Adrian's reach while declaring, 'Mine.' I hated to think of myself as a jealous lover, but maybe I was.
I didn't want to smother her or assert some Neolithic claim on her. Rose was an independent woman, capable of making her own choices and taking care of herself. I knew that. I respected and even admired that.
That still didn't stop the all-encompassing need to protect her. That's why when I saw her yawn again, I suggested she go up to the room and relax a little. The exhaustion from before was still lingering, and I knew we still had a few difficult things to tackle later on.
She protested a little until Adrian urged her to go rest as well. "You're tired, Rose. Go lay down for a bit, and we can chat later. I promise. I wanted to talk to Dimitri anyway."
I noticed a hint of suspicion as she looked between us, but she relented when I nodded towards the stairway. "Fine. Don't kill each other, okay?"
The moment she was out of sight, I stared Adrian down. "What do you want?"
He put his hands back in surrender, and I tried to calm myself a little. I was on edge with everything else going on, but Adrian didn't deserve to bear the brunt of my frustration. As much as his constant flirting annoyed me, I knew he was still a generally good friend to her and just as concerned as the rest of us. He proved that fact a moment later.
"I just want to make sure she's really okay. You know as well as I do that she'd smile and put on a brave face for others even if she was falling apart inside." I nodded, not bothering to deny Adrian's observation. "You seem to be the only one she actually leans on when she's struggling, so I figured you might give me the truth."
I was tempted to keep Rose's little deception, but I knew it was impossible. His ability to read auras basically made me an open book. There was no point in lying.
"She's managing. It's hard, and I think she's worried about all the uncertainty right now. Who wouldn't be? It was worse earlier, but now that the initial shock is over, I know she'll be okay. We're just taking things one step at a time." I didn't want to tell him just how scared I had been last night when she had been practically catatonic. It wasn't as terrifying as when she was in the midst of her spirit-induced rage, but it was concerning all the same.
"And you're just going to let them kick her out?" He shot me an incredulous look. "You aren't going to fight this?"
"I have been fighting for her." I had already been riding the thin line of control, and his accusation was enough to push me over the edge. I kept my voice low but knew the malice was still evident. "I've been fighting for Rose since the day I met her. She would have been expelled several times over if I hadn't been there to fight for her. I dedicated hundreds of hours to training her, supporting her, and doing everything possible to help her. Don't you dare accuse me of not fighting for Rose. I've fought tooth and nail."
People usually found me intimidating, especially when I was upset, but Adrian just rolled his eyes. "Oh, don't act so noble, as if all those afternoons were some burden. Don't forget, I can see through that facade. I know you don't mind having a reason to spend all that time with her. I'm pretty sure you enjoy it."
"Now? Sure. I look forward to training with her. I love it." I considered those hours the highlight of each day. I don't know why it hadn't fully hit me before, but I suddenly realized we'd never have that again. My mornings would no longer start with her running beside me on the track. There'd no longer be conversation and banter each day. I wouldn't see that little celebratory dance she did every time she bested me in sparring. All of it. Gone.
Before I fell too far down that pit, I tried to shake myself back on course. "It wasn't always like that, though. It didn't matter if I was the one who stood up for her; Rose resented me and resisted everything I asked of her. She was constantly late, and sometimes I had to literally drag her to practice. Every day was another fight. Every bit of progress was hard won. In the beginning, she hated me."
"I can't imagine you two hating one another." Adrian seemed stuck somewhere between surprised and amused. I wasn't sure why. He'd seen us bicker. In fact, He'd witnessed one of our worst arguments back when he met us in Idaho. He even tried to capitalize on it to try and win Rose over. How could he pretend that Rose and I never struggled with one another?
I shook my head, disputing the thought. "I said she hated me, not the other way around. Yes, she knows how to push my buttons and drive me mad, but I've always admired her fire. That turned to respect, then friendship, and then eventually…."
"You fell for her."
I shrugged and offered him a tight smile. It was a bit uncomfortable to admit the curious timeline of my feelings towards Rose, but strangely freeing too. Adrian seemed to understand it a little. Maybe because he'd been captured by Rose too.
"If you love her and fought for her so many times before, how can you just let her go?" He leaned forward, forearms resting on the table as he questioned me. "I just don't get it."
"If I could fix this, I would. But Rose attacked a Royal," I put my hand up, interrupting the protest I knew was coming. "…which I'm well aware was due to Spirit and was beyond her control. We know that. We understand that. But most of the population don't even know that Spirit exists, much less the dangerous consequences surrounding it. And to those people, it doesn't matter. They're going to make an example of her. We're honestly lucky that they aren't charging her with assault or worse."
Adrian's eyes hardened, and his jaw clenched tight. It was surprising to see him so determined for someone who often lived life with a laissez-faire mentality. "What if we stop hiding Spirit? Maybe if we explained what really happened and why, they'd let her off the hook."
His idea had merit, but I was still hesitant. "Maybe, but we don't know how people would react. We've already seen that men like Victor Dashkov are willing to go to extreme lengths to harness that power. Others might use Rose's violent outburst as an excuse to smother it."
"But if it saves Rose?"
Selfishly, I wanted to give his plan a chance. If people knew, maybe they'd understand. Perhaps she could stay. My gut instinct told me that it wouldn't matter. In fact, revealing the volatile and unpredictable nature of Spirit magic might put her, as well as Adrian and Lissa, in more serious danger. Something that would make expulsion look kind.
No. We couldn't chance it.
"Even if it could exonerate Rose, she wouldn't allow it. Not if it put you and Lissa at risk." Guardian or not, Rose would protect her best friend at all costs. "Plus, even if we did go public with the information, I doubt it would change anything. She's already been expelled. She's been allowed to stay until Sunday, but truthfully, the school guard could come and escort her off the premises right now, and there is nothing we could do about it."
That's not to say I wouldn't put up some resistance, but it was technically within the school's right to remove her from campus.
"So you're saying there's nothing we can do? It's over?" He looked desperate for an alternative, but I had nothing more to offer.
"Unless you can pull some serious strings, then yes. What's done is done." Adrian had once convinced his aunt to allow Rose and the others testify at the Dashkov trial, which was no small feat. Still, he would have to have more than just the Queen's ear to fix this situation. Kirova and the school board wouldn't be easy to sway.
"Right," he mumbled, brows furrowing. I could see him going through some mental Rolodex of people to bribe or blackmail. Society and politics could be a dirty game, but Adrian seemed to play it well. "I'll see if I can call in a few favors."
"Also, she may be leaving, but that doesn't mean this is over. This is just the start. Rose needs to figure out a living situation, a job, and a whole host of other things. She's going to need help. She's going to need her friends."
As far as I knew, Lissa and the others were still in the dark about everything. For the moment, Rose was being isolated from the school population. While I had no intention of forcing her to leave without saying goodbye to Lissa and her friends, I didn't want to test our limits by skirting the rules Alberta had laid out for us. At least not yet.
"Would you be willing to pass on a message?" I asked him. "Could you send Lissa here to speak with me? Rose isn't supposed to interact with any students, at least not yet, but I think Lissa deserves to hear the truth. Not just rumors."
Adrian nodded, and I saw a slight twitch in his lips. I watched as he pulled out a pack of cigarettes, rolled one between his fingers, and then slipped it back into the box. Before I could ask if he wanted us to take this outside, he spoke. "You should see some of the things they're saying. Some of them aren't very pretty."
My hackles rose. These students were vicious. Perhaps it was a good thing that Rose was being kept away. "What are people saying?"
"Most are hitting fairly close to the target; Rose attacked a student and is now outta here. Some are saying she's expelled. Others are saying she's in jail. I honestly didn't think she was still on campus until I overheard someone saying they saw you both walking towards the dorms earlier."
"That's all?" I could tell he was holding something back. The way he was quietly seething about it made me even more concerned.
He eyed me cautiously for a moment, almost like he was weighing the consequences of what he needed to say. Whatever it was, I would get it out of him. The longer he wavered, the more determined I was to know what was happening.
I think he knew that too.
"Fine." He ran his fingers through his hair, narrating his own distress with a small groan. I could see him harden a little as he said, "Some people are saying she turned. That somehow, she willingly became Strigoi and attacked the Zeklos kid, and was planning on killing Lissa. They're also saying that…."
"That?" He was hesitating again, but this time, he couldn't even look me in the eye.
"They're saying you were the one who took care of her. You know…" Adrian jabbed his fist against his chest, miming the way a stake enters the heart.
"They're saying I killed Rose?"
He nodded. "Some people are getting a little 'Romeo and Juliet' about the whole thing too, especially since you dragged her off, and then neither of you have really been seen since."
"I really need you to pass on that message to Lissa. This is not the sort of stuff she should be hearing." I rubbed the heel of my palms into my eye in a poor attempt to relieve the stress building in my mind. The rumors were preposterous, of course, but that didn't mean they still wouldn't hurt to hear. "And whatever you do, don't tell Rose about these rumors, okay?"
"Not planning to." Adrian almost looked ready to end our little heart-to-heart, especially since I knew he was itching for a smoke by the way he kept reaching for his pocket. Still, it seemed like he couldn't entirely ignore his curiosity. "I have to know; what really happened? I know what Rose said, but I think there's more to it."
"Like you said, some of the rumors are true to an extent. A group of kids were assaulting Lissa, and Rose rushed in to defend her. Rose went after Jesse, the group's ringleader, and then she snapped and went ballistic." My stomach felt sick just thinking about it. "It took several guardians just to pull her off him so he could be rushed to the clinic. Even then, she wouldn't stop."
"You're telling me Rose was defending Lissa from that asshole and was still expelled? That's bullshit." He looked as disgusted as I felt about the matter, even though I knew Rose had gone far beyond just defending Lissa. She had been murderous. Terrifying.
"Yes, but Adrian, I think you were right."
He looked at me expectantly, albeit with a slight smirk. "You're going to have to be more specific. I'm right a lot."
"I'm serious," I hissed. I leaned toward him, lowering my voice even though we were the only two in the lobby. "Remember when you said something was trying to kill her? Because of the black aura? I think it almost did."
His brief moment of humor disappeared instantly. "What do you mean?"
"I mean that something had a hold over Rose yesterday. She was ready to kill Jesse and the others. Outright said she wanted to. Even after I dragged her off, something about her wasn't right." I shivered just thinking about it. "It was Rose, but as if she was possessed by some demon. I literally had to pin her down so she didn't hurt herself, and even then, she nearly broke her arm trying to get away. I firmly believe that whatever was in control yesterday didn't care if she died, as long as it had power."
"That's…" he shook his head in disbelief. "That's terrifying."
"It was. It still is. I eventually got through to Rose and pulled her out of it, but I still don't understand what happened." My blood ran cold as I voiced my worst fear. "What if it happens again?"
As the implications of what that could mean slowly washed over him, he started to pale.
What if I wasn't there next time? Some things were too horrible to speak aloud.
"There is some good news," he ventured, his voice still grave after hearing the truth about what happened.
"Oh?"
"Yeah. The darkness is gone. Or most of it is. I couldn't see any just now. There's still a black rim, but it's not nearly as bad as it was earlier. It's like everything's been reset." He thought for a moment, his brow creasing as he worked through what that could mean. "Maybe it's like a balloon. Or volcanoes. Things keep building and building until, boom, everything just explodes. Then it's over."
"Yeah, but volcanoes aren't one-time things. I don't think this is either. It's just going to build up again. Eventually, Rose will break, and this time, there may not be anyone to stop her."
"Not unless we stop the source."
"What source?"
"Really?" He shot me an incredulous look, shaking his head when he realized I wasn't just pretending to be clueless. "The darkness is tied to Lissa, remember? Or Spirit users in general. Spirit is dangerous but addictive. I have my vices to help me when things get a bit overwhelming, but Lissa has been relying on Rose for relief. I've seen Rose pull it away when things get too much for her."
Maybe he was right. Rose had admitted to drawing some of the darkness from Lissa that night. Right before she snapped and attacked the other students.
"What do we do, then? Even knowing the consequences, Rose isn't going to let Lissa suffer," as self-destructive as it was, she'd do anything for her best friend. "She'll continue pulling that darkness away."
He mumbled something about guardians and martyrs before answering. "Then Lissa needs to stop using it. Or at least, she needs to stop using it as much. Over the past few weeks, Lissa and I have been using Spirit non-stop. We wanted to figure it out and control it. We've made some progress, but Rose has been suffering for it."
"And yet you continued." A wave of resentment rose inside me, and I tried to beat it back.
"We didn't understand what was happening. Not fully, at least. I know it seems obvious now, and perhaps I should have put two and two together earlier, but you know that none of us would ever intentionally hurt Rose." He gave me a pointed look. "You aren't the only one who loves her."
He's right. And now that I look back on things, there was a correlation between them practicing with Spirit and Rose's descent into whatever had taken over her. Rose mentioned something along the same lines in the chapel earlier this week. It was the same day she admitted that she was scared. I think I even suggested talking to Lissa about it. She shut that idea down immediately, insisting that Lissa had the power to do amazing things and that she wouldn't stand in the way of that potential.
Well, Rose might be willing to sacrifice herself for the cause of Spirit, but I wasn't.
"So that's it then," I concluded, tapping the tabletop twice to punctuate the decision. "Stop practicing and using magic. No more Spirit, no more darkness."
"There's a problem with that logic, unfortunately." His disappointment was palatable, though it looked like it was directed inward. "Like I said before, Spirit is addictive. I'm not entirely sure we could stop even if we wanted to. At least not completely. There's no twelve-step program for something like this. I don't drink for fun. I mean, sometimes I do, but mostly it's just to dull the itch. I don't have a bondmate, so this…" he opened his jacket to reveal the outline of a flask in the interior pocket, "…is how I cope. The alcohol will probably kill me eventually, I know that, but at least I won't go insane."
"Rose will, though. If Lissa doesn't stop, it will drive Rose to madness. It might even kill her." I was empathetic to his plight, but surely he couldn't be okay ignoring Rose's needs to satisfy the need to use Spirit.
"What if we just use it less?" He suggested. "I've found that things are more manageable when I don't overdo it. As I said, Vasilisa and I have been practicing a lot over the past few weeks. A whole lot. More than necessary. I think that's probably contributed quite a bit. If we slow down the lessons and space things out, maybe we can still learn about Spirit, get our fixes, and keep things from getting overwhelming."
"That sounds better," I admitted. "But won't it just delay the inevitable?"
"Maybe. But maybe not. Things tend to get easier over time for me. The madness dissipates. Fades. Maybe it will work for Rose too." He leaned back in his chair, relaxing into his more carefree personality. Only his fidgeting fingers hinted that he may not be as confident as he was trying to appear. "Who knows, maybe if we're careful, Rose won't even have to be involved. Lissa might be able to handle things on her own, you know?"
That would be the best outcome. I didn't want Rose to suffer anymore. I knew I still needed to protect Lissa, but I was coming to terms with the fact that Rose would always come first for me.
Did that make me a lousy guardian? Probably. Was it the truth? Completely.
"I was serious about what I said before, too. If Rose needs a place, she's welcome to stay with me."
I did my best to temper myself, but the possessive growl that came unbidden was enough for him to pull back. Yes, it was an overreaction, but I wasn't going to apologize for it.
"I'm not trying to make a move," he said quickly, hands up in surrender. "I think we're beyond that anyway. All I'm offering is somewhere safe for her to live. Two bedrooms. It's better than being on her own, right? And at least you know her roommate wouldn't be some serial killer."
As much as I hated to admit it, he had a point.
"I'll leave that decision up to her. She has a few options, and it'll be up to Rose to figure out what she wants to do." It was the most diplomatic answer I could manage.
"Good. Just let me know if she has any questions or anything." He stood, effectively ending our conversation. "I'll let you go check on her."
"Thanks." Before he walked out the door, I called out to him. "Don't forget to tell Lissa!"
"I won't. I'm sure she'll be by soon."
When I made it back to room 205, Rose was lying on the bed with her eyes closed, though it was clear that she hadn't fallen asleep.
"How are you doing?" I asked as I hung my jacket on a hook near the door.
"Tired, but I can't fall asleep." She sat up, reaching behind her to grab the pillow, bring it around to her front, and then hug it close. "Every time I close my eyes, all I see is this list of stuff that needs to be done. And I swear it gets longer every single time."
The moment I sat beside her, she tossed the pillow aside and leaned into me. It didn't feel close enough, though. I pulled her into my lap, so she straddled me as I held her. I understood what she meant. However, I didn't see a list of stuff that needed to be done when I closed my eyes. I saw a countdown. I could see the seconds ticking away until she'd be beyond my reach.
Thankfully, she didn't protest when I gripped her tighter.
After a moment, I released her go again. Not enough to let her off my lap, but enough that she could look me in the eyes.
"I wanted to talk to you about something."
Her face fell, and I could almost feel the panic in her body. "Oh no. Nothing good comes from the phrase 'we need to talk.'"
"It's okay, I swear." I gave her a lopsided grin, hoping to dissipate her nerves a bit. "I know we haven't discussed it much, and I know Adrian offered you a place to stay, but have you considered what else you might like to do after Sunday? Where else you might like to go?"
"I can't stop thinking about it," she admitted with a bitter laugh. "I don't know where to even start."
"Well, you don't have to decide now. In fact, I think it would be best to consider all your options, but I wanted to let you know that I called my mother this morning, and if you'd like, you're welcomed to stay with them."
"In Russia?" She looked a bit surprised. "You know I don't speak Russian, right?"
"No, you really don't." I couldn't help but laugh a little. I had tried to teach her a few words and phrases — non-vulgar ones despite her insistence — but she always got frustrated after a while. She'd insist that her mouth didn't make some of the sounds. In her defense, there were a few sounds that proved difficult for non-native speakers. It didn't make the language impossible, though. "I'm sure you'll get the hang of it quickly."
She still looked unconvinced, even through her teasing smile. "No, I'm pretty sure I'd butcher it."
I knew the world was still falling apart around us, but for a moment, things felt lighter. Holding Rose in my arms, watching her smile and just having a private moment together to talk. A man could get used to something like this. The only thing casting a shadow over it all was the lingering knowledge that it would soon end.
I couldn't think like that. Not when Rose needed me to be strong.
"I know it's far and would be difficult at first," Lord knows moving to America had been a culture shock for me, "but it would also allow you to have a fresh start. You wouldn't have to be alone, either. My family could help you every step of the way. Not just with the language, but the little things too. Cooking, budgeting, anything you need. You'd have help."
"But Russia?" She seemed skeptical but wasn't outright dismissing the idea yet. "And are you sure your family would be okay with me there? I don't even know them."
"I know you don't, but I can assure you that they would be fine with it. Happy even. My mom actually seemed pretty eager to meet you." It wasn't exactly how I wanted to introduce her to my family, but that's okay. "I know you are more than capable of handling things yourself, but you mean the world to me, and if I can't be beside you I want to leave you in the best hands possible. I don't want you to have to do this all on your own."
She didn't answer me, but I knew she was actually considering the idea by the way her brows furrowed. She had also pulled her lower lip between her teeth and was absentmindedly nibbling on it. She only did that when trying to work things out in her mind.
"You don't have to make a decision right now," I assured her. "I just wanted to let you know that it's an option. Just like living with Adrian for a short time is an option. I'll support you with whatever you decide, and I don't want to sway you one way or another, but I just wanted to make sure you know all the possibilities. All I want is for you to be safe and happy."
I was glad that she wasn't completely rejecting the idea, but it was obvious that she still had concerns. I'd be worried if she didn't. Staying in the States would be easier in many respects, especially if she could live with someone she trusted. Adrian could offer that. It was probably the wise choice, but she needed to know that it wasn't the only choice.
That didn't seem to be what was bothering her, though.
"What's wrong, Rose?"
"It's just…" She lowered her eyes and turned away from me for a moment. I couldn't have that, so I brushed that stubborn lock of hair behind her ear and then guided her face back to mine. When she realized that she couldn't hide from me, she sighed. "I'd never see you again. You never go home."
My heart stuttered for a moment. "Oh, Roza…"
"I'm sorry," she said, trying to scramble off my lap and away from her brief moment of vulnerability.
Before she could get far, I tugged her to me again, tangling my fingers in her hair as I brought her in for a kiss. She stiffened for a moment and then relaxed into me, letting me guide her with my hands and lips until her worries were forgotten. When we finally pulled apart, I kept my forehead to hers.
"I'll find a way home to you. I promise. I'll always find a way back to you."
Author's Note
I always love writing Adrian, especially when it means I can write Adrian/Dimitri interactions, so this has been one of my favorite chapters thus far. Hopefully, you enjoyed it, too. Also, Rose now has two options. Which one do you think she should take? Which one would you choose?
Also...THE TV SERIES! I am so in love with it. I know a whole lot of us had reservations, and it isn't exactly the same story we all know and love, but when I watch it I feel like I'm reading the books again for the first time. It has me on my toes, completely engrossed and desperate for the next chapter. Plus, the cast is amazing. Sisi, Andre, all of them. Keiron, though. Holy cow, I'm impressed with that man. I don't say this lightly, but the way he is portraying the character is a near-perfect mirror of how I always imagined Dimitri as I wrote him. It's honestly a little freaky. He has the mannerisms, expressions, and personality that I always envisioned when writing. Yes, he doesn't have a true Russian accent, but...well the series addresses that a little. I don't want to give spoilers away (AND PLEASE DON'T POST ANY IN THE COMMENTS) but I'm 100% on board with the series now. I have watched the first few episodes twice now and I literally cannot wait until Thursday. Feel free to PM me if you want to fangirl over it, but once again, no spoilers in the comments, please.
QUESTION OF THE WEEK: What's the craziest thing you've done in the name of love?
While I wouldn't really recommend it to others, I gave up my degree to get married and support my husband. Our plan was always to help him get his bachelor's, then go back to my school which also offered a master's program for him. I had a hold on a full-ride scholarship, and when I left, I was one of the top three for my year in the department. However, once my husband graduated, he was recruited for an opportunity we couldn't pass up. We were already registered for our respective classes and placed a deposit on an apartment, but we quickly changed course. Unfortunately, that meant that I never had the chance to finish my degree. I know that I made the right choice for our situation, and I'm happy where I am now, but sometimes I still wonder "what if?" For anyone curious, I was going to school for interior design.