A/N: If you couldn't guess already, things are about to get SPICY! Big thanks to Sally for editing this beast! Love you!

14

Together like this, we were different people. Outside of this room, we were boss and employee. Sometimes, we were close friends. Now, however, there was a feeling that overwhelmed everything else. A natural sort of feeling that felt like every step I had taken in life had led me to this moment.

Everything from every mistake and misstep had led me to Edward. For a moment, the past no longer plagued me so potently. Instead, it felt like a necessary evil needed in order to achieve this moment. With him next to me, every past horror seemed like something I could deal with.

I wasn't alone now. There were two of us.

Edward sat next to me on the couch with a friendly sort of distance between us as he skipped through channels, looking for the perfect thing to watch. As he watched the TV set, I watched him, stealing glances of his profile whenever I could in an effort to satisfy the appetite he had caused.

Eventually, he seemed bored with all of the cable options and stood up from the couch to look through a cabinet filled with DVDs. Outside of his love for literature, Edward also seemed to be a total film nerd. Just glancing at his selection, I saw classics mixed with cult classics and guilty pleasures. He even had a row of VHSs near the bottom of his collection, which contained things such as the Star Wars original trilogy.

"What are you in the mood for?" he asked without turning to look at me.

I rose from the couch too, letting the blanket fall off of me to rest on the armrest before joining him near his film collection. Outside, the storm was still chaotic, making this space feel even more safe and intimate. There was something about the way the rain caused me to feel sheltered—so warm and so held. High from the feeling, I could barely focus on the titles in front of me.

"What sort of movies do you like?"

I shrugged. Anything that felt like an escape from reality was something that I liked. Genre didn't matter much.

"Action?"

I scrunched my nose, making a face to give him my answer.

"Romance?"

I bounced my head from one side to the next, hoping to display a "so-so" sort of response.

"Comedy?"

I shrugged.

"Horror?"

I cringed and he laughed. It was nice to be able to communicate so simply and without words. Edward understood me and sometimes, being understood felt even better than being loved.

"Why don't I stand back and let you pick," he said as he stepped away from the cabinet to give me a better view.

Honestly, I didn't care what we watched. All I cared about was watching it with him. Still, I tried to look like I was giving the selection some thought. I moved my finger along the movie cases and almost mindlessly, I read the titles. With him so close, it was hard to think. His cologne mixed with the smell of the rain was potent. Tonight was the perfect night—chilly without being cold enough for snow. Along with his signature sandalwood cologne scent, he smelled like rainwater and the night's breeze. I wanted to bathe in him until our scents were combined.

"You make a selection?" he asked, seeming a tinge impatient to get back to the couch.

My mind had been everywhere other than the films in front of me. With a sheepish shrug, I smiled and eventually pointed to a random DVD, hoping he'd be satisfied with my selection. Our eyes both followed the path of my finger, equally curious about what movie I had selected. My knees quivered as I saw my finger posed next to the title Psycho. Of course, out of the entire collection, I had to pick a horror movie.

When Edward saw my less than pleased expression, his brows knitted and he asked, "Did you mean to pick this one? I thought you weren't a huge fan of horror."

While he was right—I wasn't a huge fan of horror—I did love the classics. There was something about a black and white movie that made me feel nostalgic for a life I had never lived. Somehow, the lack of color made the films feel more like a grand escape.

I also couldn't deny the excitement that filled me knowing that a horror film would give me an excuse to get close to Edward. After our kiss in the rain, would things progress further? Just thinking about his lips on mine forced me to face how good it felt to be alone with him now. I wanted to feel his hands on me. On my thighs. Pressing against my flesh with his fingers until he left behind marks and nail indentations. I wanted his mouth to leave bruises on my pale skin. Could he mark me in such a way that I would always remember this moment? This snapshot in time that made me feel so good I could die.

Edward pulled the title from the shelf and moved to pop the disk into the player. I moved back to the couch, regretting every second that I had to take my eyes off him as I burrowed beneath the covers and appreciated the smell of the clothes he'd loaned me. The blankets smelled like him too—that familiar scent of sandalwood. I wanted to bottle the fragrance up and wear it forever.

"Ready for this?" Edward asked with a small smile as he flipped off the lights and moved to join me on the couch.

For a moment, we were enveloped entirely in darkness. Without light, it felt like every one of my senses had intensified. Suddenly, I felt like I could feel every cell of his body next to mine. The air in the room was heavy and while I didn't turn to look at him, wanting to calm my insistent desire for a moment, I felt his eyes on me. Were they roaming over my body as I imagined? Screw what his eyes did to me. I had to look.

When I finally did meet his gaze, I couldn't breathe. His eyes were on my face as if he could peer right into my mind. Then, his gaze drifted to my lips. Anxious, I bit down on my lower lip and tried not to make a sound. However, a whimper escaped. It was one of the few sounds I'd made since losing my voice. It didn't escape my notice that every sound I'd made since that horrible, fucked-up night had been with Edward.

Was he bringing my voice back? Could a person do such a thing?

Before another question could enter my thoughts, Edward angled his head down and pressed his lips to mine. In the background, I heard the movie start. Light from the television screen filled the room and highlighted sections of Edward's now wild hair with blue. Our kiss deepened, and I closed my eyes, handing myself over to the feel of his mouth.

While his body was hard and structured, his lips were soft and giving. They crashed into me and left me breathless. As his tongue slipped between my lips to find mine, his arms wrapped around me and pulled me close. Against his chest, I felt small, delicate, and fragile. My nipples hardened against the fabric of his shirt. With his limbs tangled around me, my core began to throb, becoming needy for the first time.

I wanted to have sex. With my childhood and too early introduction to it, sex had always felt like a chore or something to be endured to receive validation. Whenever I had fucked in the past, my entire purpose had been to help a man reach his own pleasure. I had never considered mine. Now, things were different. Everything felt different.

As my pussy throbbed, I wanted him inside of me for my pleasure alone. I wanted to come. I wanted to feel what it was like to let go and free fall. When I first gained control of my life, I never wanted to let it go again. The idea of handing myself over to another person was terrifying. If I let down my guard for a moment, what would that mean for me in the future? Would I go right back to being used and worthless?

Right now, I didn't care how I would end up. If losing control meant receiving pleasure, I'd give all of it away. Edward could have it all. He could have everything.

So lost in my own thoughts, I barely registered the way I was moaning against him until Edward pulled away from me with a fond look. With all of my senses heightened, I felt practically possessed. Feeling bold and high from the feel of his body pressed so intimately against mine, I pulled off my shirt and tossed it onto the carpet.

The chill from the air flirted with my nipples, causing them to become plumper and more erect. So absorbed by the moment, I didn't realize how bold I was being—how unlike myself I was being. In the past, I had been a timid participant. Now, I was the first one with my clothes off. Before I could wonder whether or not Edward wanted this, I felt my body flush under his intense gaze.

His eyes were on my breasts, filled with a hunger I had never seen from him. Suddenly, he seemed so alive. Intoxicated by the moment, feeling the same overwhelming high that I did, Edward leaned forward and lowered his head to my breasts.

I brought my hands to his head as if I were cradling him—letting my fingers move through his soft locks of copper hair as his mouth found my nipple. His tongue lapped at the erect bud for a moment before he wrapped his lips around my nipple and sucked. This was always such a sensitive area—one that alone could bring me to orgasm. I became silky wet against the fabric of his shorts as my breath became more erratic.

Could he really make me come like this? Would I orgasm before his fingers even touched my core? My nipple fell from his lips, wet as he pulled away. Moving, he kissed the flesh between my breasts before paying his attention to my other nipple. While he sucked and played with my left breast, his fingers were attached to my right, rolling my nipple between his thumb and forefinger.

With the movie playing in the background, lighting up the room with a faint glow, I felt myself begin to unravel. No one had ever paid such attention to my body before. In the past, no man had cared enough about my pleasure to bring me to an orgasm like this with his mouth. Truthfully, no man had ever made me come at all. The only times I had come were with my fingers—on those lonely nights when I would masturbate to make sure I was functioning properly. After an orgasm, regardless of how dismal it was, I felt like I wasn't entirely broken.

The feelings Edward was inspiring with his mouth and fingers were brand new. I began to rock against the couch as my core longed for friction. Gently, his teeth bit down on my nipple, sending a wave of pleasure up my spine. As I rocked against the couch, I felt my pussy begin to throb more. Another bite and I was nearing my edge. Then, before Edward could as much as touch my core, I was spiraling.

My first ever orgasm at the hands of another person washed over me. The intensity was so overwhelming, I nearly felt myself drown. As I was coming down from my high, feeling my entire body relax more than it ever had, Edward pulled back to stare at me. With dark eyes, his gaze was questioning.

"Did you …"

I nodded, feeling a smile pull on the edges of my lips. Sitting there in the dark, I felt like sunlight. My entire body was lethargic, but still, I hungered for more. My cravings for him were far from sated as I peered down at his crotch. His erection was stiff against the fabric of his pants. A moan escaped his lips as I touched him. Although my fingers barely moved across his erection—merely grazing it with my nails—his body shuddered as if I had freed his cock and wrapped my lips around it.

The thought moved over me like a warm breeze, and as I bit down on my lip, I reached out and unzipped his pants. My eyes met his before I freed his cock as I needed to connect with him in this moment. Was his desire the same as mine? Did he want and need me just as much?

When I met his gaze, his eyes were dark and wild. They were liquid fire as he looked at me. Had it been just as long for him as it had been for me? Was his body just as desperate as mine? I freed his cock and took it in my grasp immediately. Another moan passed through his soft lips before he leaned forward to kiss me.

This kiss wasn't as gentle and teasing as his many other initial kisses. Instead, this kiss was filled with all of the need and passion he had kept pent up. I matched his desire and felt myself losing control, wanting to fall off the edge again.

Before now, I had always been afraid of flying. I feared letting go. Putting myself in the hands of someone else rocked me to my core. Tonight, the loss of control wasn't bad. Not one bit. With him, I yearned for it. I wanted him to tear me apart. I wanted him to eat me raw. I wanted to end the night with flushed cheeks and covered in cum.

I broke the kiss to stand up long enough to strip. With his gaze on me, I slid off his shorts, kicking them away from me as soon as they fell to the carpet. Fear overwhelmed me as soon as I was naked. Then, I was faced with the weight of the moment. I was already one orgasm in, and I only now realized what I was doing.

Could I do this? Was I pushing myself too far?

"Bella …"

As soon as he said my name, my anxiety passed, and I moved to join him on the couch again. However, as my knee pressed into the couch and my body prepared to lean over him, he stood up. Disappointment washed over me as the backs of my eyes burned.

Don't cry. Don't embarrass yourself by crying. There could be a million reasons why he's rejecting you.

My mind only stilled as his arms wrapped around my waist.

"Let's not do this here … We can surely do better than a couch."

The relief I felt nearly sent me crashing.

He's not rejecting me. Thank God, my little voice of anxiety sang.

Edward took my hand then, bringing it up to his mouth to give my knuckles a quick kiss. He was far too sweet for this moment. And far too clothed … Unable to help myself, I reached out and yanked his shirt over his head before pulling down his pants. As soon as his pants reached his muscular thighs, he stopped me before pushing them down the rest of the way and kicking them off.

I had never seen a body so beautiful. He was muscular without being bulky. Tall and perfectly proportioned. How was this man not modeling? His career path almost seemed like a disservice. It would have been at least, if his dorky attire didn't make him look so overwhelmingly handsome.

It took me a moment to notice that he was staring at me with an equal level of appreciation. Within seconds, our limbs were tangled together, and his mouth was on my neck. Sucking, biting, and kissing as he pulled me to a different room.

My body was so alive, it could barely wait for my mind to be ready. I needed this. I needed tonight and I needed this man. I'd deal with any regrets later. Until then, I wanted to soak up the night.