ROSE
"That was Alberta," Dimitri said, slipping his phone into his back pocket. "She said that your friends can come over and visit you tonight over dinner. They're bringing pizza, I think. She has all your documents ready, too. Is that okay?"
I nodded, clutching my new prized possession against my chest. I still couldn't believe that Dimitri had given me a stake. Not just any stake, either. His stake. A stake that had been in his family for generations.
It still didn't feel right to keep it. Even if I was graduating and earning my marks and title, it would have been way too much. Something like this should have been passed to another Belikov. Dimitri obviously didn't have children, but I think he once mentioned a nephew. It probably should go to him.
I should tell him that. I should insist it says in his family. I knew he'd object again and tell me he wanted me to have it, but it didn't seem right. No matter what Dimitri believed, I didn't deserve something so special.
So why did I hug the bundle closer to me? The shirt it was wrapped in smelled clean, like fresh laundry, but I could almost smell his aftershave beneath it. It was comforting, and even if I managed to get Dimitri to take back his stake, I knew I wouldn't be giving the shirt back with it.
"Rose?" My head snapped back to him, trying to remember what he had said just a moment ago while I had been distracted. "Are you alright with the others coming tonight?"
"Oh. Yeah. That's fine."
He gave me a curious look, one brow rising above the other in concern, and moved a little closer to me than he probably should have. I didn't feel his hand on me, but I could almost feel the heat of it hovering just over my lower back.
I glanced around us, worried that someone might be watching. Dimitri might not seem to care much anymore, but I still didn't want his reputation shredded because of me. Only one pair of eyes seemed to be on us as Yuri walked along the same path we were taking, moving towards the gym rather than away from it.
I knew Dimitri wasn't exactly close with his coworkers, but he seemed to be at least close-ish with Yuri. I was surprised when he shot a glare towards his friend, holding the stare until Yuri adverted his eyes and passed us by without a word.
"What was that about?" I asked, wondering what the man had done to offend Dimitri.
"Don't worry about it." He brushed off the whole incident with just a few words and then focused on me again. "Are you okay, though? You don't seem excited to see Lissa and the others. Talk to me, Rose. What's on your mind?"
"I don't know if I can do this," I admitted.
"Do what?"
"Say goodbye." My heart lurched at the very word. "I'm not sure I'm ready."
He nodded beside me, lips pursed a little as his brows formed a little 'v' between them. I could already feel the zen energy radiating off him as I eagerly awaited his words of wisdom. As much as I teased him about it, I really did appreciate his insight.
"I'm not sure anyone in your position would be ready to say goodbye. I know I wouldn't be." For some reason, it was comforting to know that he'd find all this difficult too. Not that I'd ever wish something like this on him, but it made me feel less…I don't know…weak?
"But," he continued, "if you try to wait until you are ready, the opportunity might pass you by, and you won't get the chance to say goodbye at all."
"Is that an option?" I asked, offering him a bittersweet grin. Grinning was easier than tears. "Not saying goodbye at all?"
Obviously, 'not saying goodbye' didn't mean 'not leaving.' We both knew that sooner or later, I'd be booted out of here. Part of me wanted to fight until security had to drag me out kicking and screaming, but I also didn't want the others to see that. Plus, no matter how low I'd fallen, I still had some dignity left in me.
All I wanted was to skip the whole goodbye spectacle. I didn't want to hold Lissa as she cried and promise her that it would all be okay, even when I wasn't sure myself. I didn't want to see Eddie looking guilty because he couldn't save another one of his friends, even though he'd already done so much. I didn't want to see Christian's pity. Just thinking about it seemed exhaustive and overwhelming.
"I guess that's an option if that's what you really want." Dimitri still seemed uncertain, but ever the steadfast supporter, he hesitantly allowed my selfish fantasy of just disappearing without a trace. "If you want me to tell Alberta that you don't want company tonight, I can do that. It's up to you."
"No, I want to see them." I gave a dramatic sigh as the guest housing building came into view. Thankfully it looked quiet. No surprise visitors this time. "I just don't know if I want to drag this out anymore. I don't know how many times I can say goodbye. Does that make sense?"
Spending today in the gym with Dimitri had been amazing. I knew it was only a way to keep me from going crazy in the guest room with nothing to do, but I honestly couldn't think of a better way to spend the day. Still, I couldn't help hearing the word 'last' spinning around and around in my mind; 'last' match or 'last' set or even 'last' time I'd ever suffer through the subpar water pressure in the locker room.
How many more 'lasts' were waiting for me over the next day and a half? The thought made me sick. Each one was like a paper cut, slowly bleeding me dry. I just wanted to rip off the band-aid and be done with it.
Dimitri didn't say anything right away, perhaps feeling the overwhelming sense of 'last' the same way I was. When he did eventually answer, he offered something I didn't expect.
"You have to leave before classes start on Monday, but nothing says you must stay until then. What if you say goodbye tonight, and then we leave before everyone wakes up tomorrow?" He pulled open the front door, holding it open as I walked past him, meeting his eye in question as he looked down at me. "Would that help?"
Leave tomorrow? Without telling people?
He was right, technically. There wasn't any real reason to stay, especially if Alberta could bring me the IDs and documents tonight. Otherwise, it would be just another day of waiting until the clock ran out.
The only thing holding me back was my friends. They were my last ties to a place that no longer wanted anything to do with me. "They're going to be mad at me."
"Then let them be mad." He stepped in front of me, forcing me to stop as he placed his hands on my shoulders. The weight felt solid. Comforting. Dimitri kept me steady in all this, and I doubt he'd ever know how much I needed and appreciated him. He dipped his head a little so that I'd meet his eyes. "It's time to put yourself first. What do you, Rose Hathaway, want to do?"
Put myself first. That was an intriguing prospect. I'd been raised with the motto 'they come first' practically embedded in dhampir DNA. If I had graduated and become Lissa's guardian, my life would have revolved around hers. A guardian's life was devoted to the Moroi. It was as simple as that.
But now? I got to decide.
I gnawed on my lip a little. It was an annoying quirk I had developed years ago that would appear anytime I actually took the time to think before acting. The idea of leaving was scary, but it would happen whether or not I wanted it to. I could choose to leave on my own, though, and not have to deal with another set of goodbyes tomorrow. It was my choice.
"It's time," I decided. "I'm ready to leave."
The light didn't quite reach his eyes as Dimitri smiled. I could tell there was a bit of pride and approval there, but he still didn't seem happy about my decision. I could understand, though.
Another 'last' was peeking over the horizon, and even though I wanted to leave early, I didn't want to leave everyone. Especially him.
With a sharp nod, he said, "Then that's what we'll do."
As promised, Lissa and the others brought several pizzas and a large pan of brownies. The cafeteria wasn't a five-star restaurant by any means, but I was addicted to their brownies. Whoever crafted that recipe deserved a pair of wings and a one-way ticket to dessert heaven. Even Dimitri apparently enjoyed them, sneaking one from the pan when he thought I wasn't looking.
I smirked, knowing that I'd probably tease him about it later. Dimitri was the epitome of health. The temptation of pizza didn't seem to entice him, but a little square of chocolate-y goodness? Even the strongest of men apparently had a weakness.
Most of the night was spent reminiscing. It seemed like anything and everything was on the table, from old family vacations in Lake Tahoe to a heated discussion on whether or not unicorn-printed bedsheets were an acceptable choice, even if they were on discount. Liss and I had never really spoken to the others much about our time on the run, and Christian, Eddie, and Adrian seemed enthralled to hear our stories. While they appeared to be giving us space, I could tell Alberta and Dimitri were also listening in. Every once in a while, I'd catch them smiling as Liss recounted things like my incredibly unsuccessful first attempt at cooking spaghetti. I'm not sure how it happened, but at some point, the topic shifted to the one college frat party Liss and I had snuck into before we moved to Portland. Dimitri had seen the picture of us in our fairy costumes with the unmistakable red cups in the background, so I wasn't sure why he was surprised. The way his jaw clenched? Yeah, I understood that. Lissa just had to mention that I made out with some guy while I was tipsy that night.
Eddie would also tease me about all the times we got in trouble as kids, running amok on campus until we drove our instructors crazy. The annual St. Varvara's scavenger hunt was just one of the many times we had gotten ourselves into a pickle, only to miraculously pull ourselves out again. I shared a conspiratorial glance with Dimitri, remembering how he had been key to us winning last October. That was our little secret, though.
Occasionally we'd bring up Mason, but it was still hard for us to think about him too much. Eddie and I both still felt some guilt about that night in Spokane. I don't think that feeling would ever quite go away. The good news was that Christian was there to throw in a few barbs at my expense if things got too sappy.
The one thing I didn't allow was for everyone to get sad about me leaving. We all knew it sucked, but I didn't want anyone to cry over the fact that I'd be gone tomorrow. Not that any of them knew it yet. While Dimitri had suggested that we leave early, I was the one who begged to keep it a secret. I knew he was uncomfortable with the idea, and he even tried to convince me to rethink things, but I was stubborn. He knew that better than anyone, and he relented when he saw that I wouldn't budge.
Lissa was going to be pissed. They all would be, but I knew she would take it personally. It was for the best, though. I knew it would be hard enough for us to say goodbye tonight. I couldn't do it all again tomorrow, too. Eventually, they'd forgive me. It might take a while, but I hoped that they'd come to understand why I just couldn't stay any longer.
"We got something for you." Lissa bounced on her toes, tempting me with a sing-song voice while holding something behind her back.
"You did?" After my last present, I was wary of whatever she had in mind.
She nodded vigorously, obviously waiting for me to ask for whatever surprise she was hiding from me. I tried to reach around her, making her laugh as she twisted away from me and kept the object out of my grasp. When I tried again, Eddie snatched it from her and held the orange and pink bag up high out of my reach. He wasn't as tall as Dimitri, but he was tall enough to be annoying. I playfully jabbed my finger into his gut, stealing a quick 'oof' and the small gift bag away from him.
I pulled the striped tissue paper away, letting it float gently to the floor in front of me as I reached in for something a little smaller than a brick. The picture on the white box made it obvious what they had gotten me.
"A phone?" I'd never had my own phone before. Strange for someone my age, I know, but I had never gotten around to it. Plus, how would I even pay for it? My mother certainly wouldn't have forked out the cash for something so unnecessary in her eyes. I could have asked Lissa, I guess. She had a phone before we left the Academy, but I made her leave it behind so we wouldn't be tracked. If she ever got a new one, she never told me.
"Yep!" She clapped her hands in front of her, grinning so much that I was worried her cheeks might give out under the weight of her glee. "It's so you can keep in touch. It was my idea, but Adrian is the one that made it happen."
"How?" I asked, giving him a disbelieving grin. This wasn't something that you could just pick up from the school commissary. Either he ordered it up in one of the towns nearby, or he had someone deliver it to campus. I wasn't sure how he managed it, but I was impressed either way.
He shrugged, a self-satisfied smirk growing across his face. "I'm just that awesome."
"That you are." I opened the box, pulled out the small black rectangle, and powered it on. I was immediately greeted with a photo of Liss, Christian, Eddie, and Adrian all scrunched together on my home screen. It was obviously Liss's doing. She looked so bright and cheery, and while Eddie and Adrian were their usual photogenic selves, poor Christian looked like he was barely concealing a scowl. Looking up at him now, I could see a similar look. He brought 'resting bitch face' to new heights.
"Our phone numbers are already programmed in, so no excuses, okay? I want you to call us at least once a week and text every day. Promise?"
I reached out to give Lissa a hug, moving on to hug the rest of them in turn. "I promise."
DIMITRI
The longer the party went on into the night, the more difficult things got for us all. Rose held a tight smile as she spoke to Lissa and the others. It was easy to see that she was hurting, but we ignored it the best we could. It wasn't out of malice, of course. I think we all just wanted to pretend that we were gathering for any reason other than to say goodbye.
While I focused on Rose from the sidelines, I saw a shadow slide next to me.
"So when are you two leaving?" Adrian took a sip from a cup of soda and then handed me an identical one. I brought it to my lips, hesitating for a moment when I detected the blatant smell of alcohol. Without acknowledging the contraband, I downed half of it in a single gulp. I wasn't one to hide my pain behind a bottle, but I wasn't opposed to dulling some of the heartache right now, either.
I licked my lips and tasted the burn of whatever Adrian had given me. "She has to be off school property before Monday."
"That's not what I asked," he replied with a scoff. "I asked when you two are leaving."
I bit at the inside of my cheek, no longer wincing at the sharp streak of pain. I had tasted blood more than once this past week.
Rose hadn't told anyone that we were leaving early. I knew it would be a horrible shock to the others when they realized she was gone, but she insisted that she didn't want any long teary goodbyes. Even though I didn't like it, that was her choice, and I was going to support her.
I considered lying to Adrian. I could tell him that we'd gather everyone together for one last farewell and leave right before security forced her off the premises, but I was pretty sure it would be pointless. He'd probably see past my deception before it was even out of my mouth. Plus, as much as we butted heads, I also felt a sort of kinship with Adrian. I couldn't begin to understand why. Perhaps it was because he wasn't blinded by my reputation and saw me for the selfish bastard I truly was.
Or, perhaps I just needed to vent a little, and I knew he wouldn't judge me for it. And if he did? I didn't care.
"Tomorrow. Before anyone wakes up." Her friends didn't know it yet, but this could be the last time they were all together. At least for quite a while. "She doesn't want to drag this on any longer than it already has."
He nodded, not looking surprised. "That's not going to go over well."
"I know." I finished the spiked drink and handed him the empty cup. "But I don't care how anyone else feels about this. Let them be pissed. Let others judge me. My only concern right now is Rose. So much is beyond her control right now, so if she decides she wants to leave tomorrow without telling anyone goodbye? Then that's what we'll do."
"Good. Rose should be your priority. Let me deal with Lissa and the fallout tomorrow. Just take care of our girl." He offered me another drink, but I waved it off this time. Taking the edge off was one thing but getting drunk wasn't acceptable tonight. He shrugged and drank it himself. As soon as it was drained, he glanced over at me. "Have you bought the tickets yet?"
"Ticket," I corrected, nodding at his general question. "Rose's flight is Monday morning. It's cheaper and a bit more direct. We'll stay at a hotel tomorrow night, then I'll drop her off at the airport in the morning."
His lips pursed, and I couldn't tell if he disapproved of the plan or if he just didn't know what to say about it. Either way, I didn't care. I didn't want Rose to leave, but I planned on making the most of our last day together. From the corner of my eye, I watched as his expression turned thoughtful.
"Coach?" It might have sounded like a question, but he knew as well as I did that I couldn't afford anything better. He seemed to take my silence as confirmation because he turned to me a moment later and asked, "What's her flight number?"
"Why?" I couldn't help my skepticism when it came to him. Adrian and I had played this cruel dance for Rose's affection for a while now, and even though Rose had made her choice clear, I wasn't naive enough to believe that Adrian would simply let the matter rest. He was too used to getting what he wanted.
That point was even more poignant when he raised an aristocratic brow at my hesitance. "Just tell me."
I relented and pulled out my phone with a defeated sigh. I was too exhausted to argue. As I opened the flight confirmation number, my thoughts weighed on me.
What did it matter, anyway? Let him see that I had spent almost every penny I possessed and only managed to send her off alone, packed into a middle seat of an overcrowded plane cabin without any means of comfort as she started her new life. I had done everything I could to fight and keep her, but in the end, all we had was an impending goodbye.
Without asking, Adrian took my phone from my hand and walked out of the room. A part of me considered going after him and my property, but before I could do anything, I heard Rose's laugh. I wasn't sure what had been said, but I smiled at the addictive sound.
To anyone on the outside looking in, it would appear to be a happy little party. People were smiling. People were laughing. Stories were recounted, and jokes were made. Nobody would suspect anything other than a fun night of friendship.
Those who knew better could see the impending cloud. A smile faltering here, a question concerning future plans dodged there. Rose had done well to pull everyone's focus to the present rather than her uncertain future, but I could see that the effort was beginning to wear on her.
It was reassuring to see her smile in such a tremulous time, but it was heartbreaking to know that her smile was a mask. She was hiding her pain to protect the others. She might laugh and joke with them right now, but tonight she'd cry for the future that had been stolen from her.
I hated her tears, but I was honored that she trusted me enough to let me bear that burden alongside her.
I heard Adrian return, and before I could demand some explanation, he handed me my phone and said, "The flight's full. I couldn't book a second ticket for you, but I was able to get her upgraded. It's not much, I know, but hopefully it'll make the flight a bit more comfortable for her."
My mouth fell open as I tried to process what he had just said. Another ticket? Upgrade? My phone buzzed with an incoming notification.
I clicked on the new message and scanned over the email. "Flight Update," it read. "Upgrade to first-class granted."
I wanted to protest and tell him it was too much, but he waved off my argument.
"Tell her it's a birthday gift or something." He shrugged off the gesture as if it was nothing. Financially, maybe it was nothing to him. However, I could still see the battle with inadequacy that warred within. I understood the sentiment. It warred within me, too. There was nothing either of us could do to fix this situation, but that wouldn't keep us from trying to make it a little better.
"Thank you," I said, deciding to put aside my pride in favor of camaraderie. I wouldn't have been able to afford this myself, but Adrian was willing to help, and I needed to accept the gesture.
"Don't worry about it. I know we don't always get along, but I think we both want the best for Rose. The upgrade is the least I could do. I tried..." His words faded into that far-off stare that Spirit induced on occasion, but something about it seemed more rooted in our sad reality rather than magical madness. As quickly as it arrived, it was gone again with a shake of his head. "Doesn't matter. What's done is done, I guess. At least for now."
Silence fell between us as we watched the day come to a close. If Rose and I wanted to leave early tomorrow, we would have to return to our room soon. I didn't have it in me to cut things short, however.
Luckily, the curfew took care of things. With one last hug, Lissa, Christian, and Eddie left and started the long walk back to the dorms, accompanied by Alberta. It was just me, Rose, and Adrian now.
"I didn't get to say goodbye to Alberta," Rose mused, watching her friends fade into the distance.
"I can call her if you want." It didn't matter if it was past curfew and she was probably ready to head to bed; I knew Alberta would come running. "Or we can stay a bit later tomorrow. We don't have to leave so early. It's completely up to you."
She backed into my embrace, knowing that I was behind her without having to look. Knowing that I would catch her and hold her without having to ask.
She was quiet for a moment, perhaps considering her options. "No," she finally said, sadness lacing her decision. "I'm not sure what I would even say to her."
"I'm sure she'd understand. You can call her tomorrow if you want." I assured her, kissing the top of her head. I knew she was seeking my comfort right now, but I loved the way she felt in my arms. She fit perfectly as if she was made for me.
"I'll need her number." It was nothing but a muffled murmur as she finally turned into my embrace, tucking tight against my chest.
"I'll program it in before bed." I needed to put my number into her phone as well. Mama's too. I tried to think of other phone numbers she might want in there, but I couldn't remember any off the top of my head. Most of my contacts were work numbers.
"Little Dhampir?"
Rose jumped, totally unaware that Adrian was still here with us. She pulled back and quickly wiped a tear from her cheek, brushing the evidence on her jeans like it was something to be ashamed of.
Adrian smiled gently, pretending not to notice her sadness. "I'm going to miss you."
I squeezed her shoulder and then pushed her gently towards him. I didn't feel a hint of jealousy as he hugged her tight and whispered something into her ear. She nodded but didn't reply.
When they stepped back from one another, Rose's head hung low. I could see she was tired, overwhelmed, and on the brink of breaking down, but she held firm. Adrian tilted her chin up to look at him.
"Promise me that you'll call if you need anything, okay? My number's already in the phone with everyone else's."
She nodded again but didn't say a word.
"Seriously, Rose. Call, and I'll come." He looked over her shoulder at me and smirked. "Better yet, call, and I'll send the Russian. Deal?"
She gave a sharp laugh that could easily be mistaken for a sob if it wasn't for the smile on her lips. Even though Adrian's promise was directed towards Rose, I knew his deal extended to me. If I needed to get home to her, he'd help make sure it happened. I was still hesitant to say we were friends, but it was becoming more and more apparent that we weren't rivals anymore. Allies, perhaps?
"You should get some rest," Adrian said, pulling her in for one final hug. "I hear you two have an early start."
"We do," she admitted, stepping back and retaking my hand. I gave it a reassuring squeeze. "Will you take care of them tomorrow, Adrian? Will you tell them I'm sorry, and I'll talk to them once I'm...home?"
He bowed slightly, hand on his heart like some princely hero rather than a vice-fueled rogue. "I promise, Little Dhampir. Take a few days, do whatever you need to, and then call when you're ready. Could you send me a text, though? Just to let me know you've arrived alright?"
"Will do." Hand still locked in mine, she reached up and kissed his cheek. "Thank you."
Adrian took that as his cue to leave, walking down the hallway towards wherever his guest room was. A few minutes later, we followed and took the stairwell back to our own room for one last night.
Author's Note
I forgot how angsty this one is. Saying goodbye is always hard, even when the others don't know you're saying goodbye. One more day together for our lovely couple, so how do you think they'll spend it?
So many of you enjoyed the extra little one-shots this week, and I appreciate all the kind comments. I'm hoping to share more little one-shots with your guys as this story progresses, so keep an eye out for them. The next one should be in about a week or so.
Question of the Week: What would you say makes you unique? For me, it's probably these stories and my writing in general.
Thank you again to everyone who has shared these stories recently. It's been amazing to see how far and wide they have spread. A reader will be starting the process of translating the DPOV series into French sometime in the next few weeks, so if you have any French speaking friends, keep an eye out for that. If you would like to volunteer to translate the series, please let me know via PM. You can find a full list of translations on my bio page.
Have a good week. Love you all!