Chapter Seven

After hanging up with George (actually, he thought he may have gotten hung up on), Derek sat back in the uncomfortable airport seat and groaned. He ran a hand through his hair and stared at his phone. "Damn it," he murmured, angrily. Addison sat down next to him, handing him a cup of coffee. He sipped it, ignoring how hot it was. "Damn it," he swore again, into the cup.

"Did you reach Meredith?" Addison asked, sipping her own coffee.

"No," Derek replied bitterly. "But I reached George." Addison raised an eyebrow, questioningly. "After going to Joe's, she ended up at la casa intern."

"They're not interns anymore," Addison pointed out plaintively, and Derek bristled.

"Dammit, Addie, that's not the point. The point is that I've totally screwed up, and she's screwed up, and even if we ever get out of this god-damned airport all my plans were ruined."

"Easy there, Derek," Addison said, and he knew that she was trying not to roll her eyes. "I think you may be over-reacting. Yeah, seems like you two may have both made mistakes in the past twenty-four hours, but I think you'll be able to fix it."

Derek relaxed a little bit, hunching over in the highly uncomfortable airport chair. "I guess you're right. I just had all kinds of plans to surprise her tonight, since you're doing so well and able to go home early and it's her birthday. That's why I didn't call; I didn't want to give myself away."

"Mistake one," Addison said, opening a crossword book.

He looked over at her and almost smiled in spite of everything. "You're really obnoxious," he observed.

"It's why you divorced me. Well, that and your love for the woman about whom you are currently freaking out."

"And there is now nothing I can do until we get to Seattle."

"Which is anywhere between one to seven in the morning, so I'd relax if I were you. The damage is done and no more is likely to be done."

Derek sighed once again and sat back in the chair. He had to admit that she was right, and yet he couldn't relax. Five minutes later he was up and pacing around the gate, looking up at the screen with information on their plan (due to board at 1:30 in the morning), doing anything to attempt to distract himself.

He was so caught up in his thoughts that he almost didn't notice the blonde woman hurtling towards him. Almost.

"Derek!" She exclaimed, bugging him so tightly that he lost his breath.

"Savvy," he replied, gently patting her back and smiling. She pulled back and smiled at him and he prepared to have a somewhat awkward conversation, but Savvy looked just over his shoulder.

"Addison?" she asked, in confusion. "Wait… Are you two…?" she gestured between Addison and Derek, a puzzled look on her face.

"No," they said at the same time. Addison stood, and came over, putting a hand lightly on Derek's arm for support.

"Addison had to come to New York this week, and I offered to join her," Derek explained. "I hadn't been in the city for a while."

"Oh," Savvy said, obviously still confused.

Beside him, Derek heard Addison take a deep breath. "Savvy," she began, stepping forward a little and Derek realized what she was going to do. He gave her an encouraging smile. "I was here for treatment. I have breast cancer."

Derek almost expected Savvy to freak, because of her history with all things cancer, but she did not. Her face fell, just a little, but she obviously saw how hard this was for Addison to admit. She reached out a hand and put it on Addison's arm.

"Oh, Addie, I'm so sorry. How are you doing?"

"I'm okay," Addison said. "Doing well according to the doctors. Anyway, they said I should be all right."

"That's good. Well if there's anything you need, any time. I can come to Seattle or meet you here," Savvy said, earnestly. "I'm really sorry we lost touch Addie. I honestly didn't mean to, and neither did Weiss. We were shaken up over Mark, but we didn't mean to abandon you."

Addison gave her a tight-lipped smile and said softly, "Thank you, Sav. That means a lot to me. So," she added, pushing (Derek knew), brightness into her voice, "What are you doing here at JFK?"

"Oh," Savvy said, obviously jarred by the sudden mood change. "Weiss is in Connecticut visiting his mother and I'm flying up to join him. Actually, my flight leaves in fifteen minutes, so I better get going. It was great to see you," she gave Addison a tight hug. "And I meant what I said. Call me when you get back to Seattle."

"Okay," Addison said, smiling.

"Bye, Derek," Savvy added, waving to him as she continued down the terminal.

"Bye, Sav," Derek called. He turned to Addison, who was sinking back into the airport seat, color draining from her immediately. He sat next to her, watching her carefully. She really wasn't all that well. He was thinking about working on her to take treatment in Seattle, but he was beginning to think that he wouldn't have to work on her.

"Are you going to call her?" he asked gently, after a moment.

She closed her eyes for a second and then opened them. When he looked at her, she seemed more peaceful than she had in a long while. "I think I will," she said, with a nod. "I actually think I will."

"Good," Derek said. "You should." Addison nodded again and reopened her crossword book. Derek looked out at the dark windows and stood, beginning to pace again.

Their plane finally left at four AM and Derek spent the entire flight fidgeting. After, he had opened the in flight magazine for the tenth time, Addison snatched it from him.

"Knock it off," she said wearily. "No doubt Meredith is still passed out and will remain so until after you don your armor and break down the door of La Casa Intern."

Derek glared at her, but he had to admit that she had a point. They arrived just after five Seattle time and Derek would have forgotten their bags had Addison not pointedly coughed when they passed the baggage claim. Armed with his bags and Addison's designer luggage, he made a beeline for the garage in which his car was parked. He loaded the bags and Addison got into the passenger's seat. He climbed in next to her and drummed his hands on the steering wheel. "Your house or ours?" he asked as he started to back out.

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you were trying to pick me up," Addison teased. Then she rested her head on the window and added more tiredly: "Yours, all of my stuff is there."

"Okay," Derek said, peering at her for a second. She was doing o so well, but he worried abort her crashing "You need to get some sleep," he remarked.

"'So do you," she pointed oat, stifling a yawn. "AndI will. Then l am going to visit Mark." She added quietly. He nodded, the only thing that he could do.

At his house, the flowers that he had ordered for Meredith, once he knew that he was going to the late, still sat on the porch. He took them in and placed them on the counter in the kitchen. Spock ran to greet them and Addison volunteered to feed him so that Derek could: "Get on with his mission". He took her bags to the guest room and made sure that she was settled. He gave her a sheepish smile as she commented that she could take care of herself.

He wasn't so sure of that; she suddenly looked very pale to him and he couldn't remember when she'd last eaten Still, she assured him that she was going to sleep and the had to go fix things with his wife. His Meredith.

He let Spock into Addison's room, despite the 'no dogs upstairs' rule that Lydia hated so much, and ordered the dog to guard her. Addison smiled and shook her head at him, but he saw her fingers curl in the dog's fur and he knew that she was grateful; Even with his impatience to get to Meredith he had to make sure that Addison was okay, he just did.

He got into his car and started the drive to Meredith's townhouse. It did not take nearly as long as it usually did, and he strongly suspected (but didn't seem to be aware of the fact) that he sped on roads that were otherwise empty and knew that he wove his way dangerously through early morning traffic.

He pulled into the driveway behind Izzie's car. When he killed the ignition, he was suddenly nervous. He was worried that he had done something that was unforgivable. A voice in the back of his mind assured him that it wasn't as if he had actually done anything unforgivable, but still, this wasn't exactly something that they were going to laugh at anytime soon.

And then, there was Meredith, who had gone straight to Joe's when things wert wrong. It was her old pattern, and he thought she was over it. Thought that she had matured out of that. They had a daughter, for God's sake, and if anything had happened to Lydia that night, with both of her parents unavailable? The thought terrified him, and she had just had major surgery.

He had not known that he was angry, not through the long wait and the interminable plane ride, but sitting in the townhouse driveway he felt a small twinge of fury mingling with his guilt and worry.

Well, he told himself, The only thing to do about any of this is to face it. So he climbed out of the car and slowly went up the steps of the townhouse. He had a key, a spare since he was now part-owner, but he decided that it would be rather rude to use it. Instead he knocked on the door, fairly sure that someone would be up.

Sure enough, after just a moment Izzie opened the door. From the look on her face she either didn't know the whole story and had jumped to conclusions or she knew the whole story.

"What are you doing here?" she demanded, only opening the door a little.

"Izzie!" George's voice called from behind her. "Relax, he's not cheating!"

"He's not?" she said, over his shoulder, and then turned to Derek, "You're not?"

"No, I'm not." Derek said, slightly annoyed. "Now if you'd let me in, I'd like to see my wife."

"She's still asleep," Izzie said grudgingly as she opened the door all of the way to let him pass. "In her old room."

Derek nodded and headed in that direction.

"So how'd you know that?" she heard Izzie ask George. "What's going on here?"

Derek paused on the stairs, just to hear what George would say.

"Izzie, that's their business. Meredith probably won't even remember telling me, so I'm sure not going to tell you."

"George the martyr," observed another voice. Derek hadn't seen Callie in the living-room, hut he supposed that she must have been there. He stopped listening to them, once he was sure O'Malley really was that honorable, and headed towards Meredith's room.

Her shoes were on the floor, and she lay peacefully underneath the blanket. She was snoring softly, and not showing any signs of waking. He knew better than to wake her, that would just make this all the more unpleasant. Instead, he settled himself in the chair across from her bed and sat there watching her. There was a yellow cast to the room as the sun began to shine in through the window, making it look more cheery than it felt.

Derek sat back in the chair, feeling exhaustion hit him suddenly and hard. He had difficulty keeping awake, and was fairly sure that he dozed off and on as he waited for Meredith to wake. At other points he thought, about Meredith, and the life that they had, or that they had when it wasn't being interrupted by crisis. He liked it. He liked them. Maybe it took being torn out of comfort to make him realize how much he needed it.

He also thought about Lydia. She was growing up so quickly, far too quickly to suit him. She'd be in kindergarten that fall, and she'd be advanced. Somehow, in spite of working around the clock and all of the other obstacles put up for them he and Meredith had raised a bright, curious child who preferred Austen to Dr. Seuss (He still couldn't believe that one).

Still, he and Meredith should still try to get away by themselves sometime soon. It wasn't as if they did not have plenty of people who would take care of Lydia. All of Meredith's friends, her father and stepmother and even Dr. Bailey would help, since Lydia and William were friends. They could get the time off, too, he was sure. He could ask the chief. Although, he wondered if Meredith would be willing to leave her mom. They'd have to wait and see about that.

He didn't think about Addison at all, for a long time, but eventually he wondered if she was doing okay at the house. No doubt that she was, she had taken the chemo fairly well, although she had been sick immediately after. The doctors warned her against traveling, but she had been determined to go home. He really had to get her to take treatment in Seattle, maybe Meredith could convince her….

As soon as he thought this, he heard a rustling from the bed. He looked up and saw that Meredith was shifting slightly. Her hair was matted against the side of her face, covering one eye, but he watched the other as it slowly blinked open. It was a second before she focused on him, obviously confused.

"Hey," he said, softly.

"Hey," she echoed, sounding puzzled and wincing as she reached up to push her hair off of her face. "When'd you get here?" she muttered, blinking.

"I heard that you spent quality time with Joe last night," Derek said abruptly. He didn't mean to sound harsh, but it just kind of happened.

Meredith groaned. "Please don't yell yet," she said weakly. Then a queasy look passed over her face, "Shit," she swore and she got up quickly, nearly stumbling over her shoes as she left the room. Derek thought about following her, but there was a conversation to have before anything normal could pass between them. Instead, he stood and went over to sit on the end of the bed.

A few minutes later, Meredith appeared back in the doorway. She was pale, and she squinted against the light in the room. He could tell that she wasn't sure about getting back into the bed with him sitting there, but she did so anyway, slightly shakily.

She looked away from him, moaning a little at the light and maybe something else.

"You okay?" he asked, gently, regretting his earlier harshness. She didn't say anything, but moved in what might have been a shrug. "I'm not going to yell, Meredith," he added. "I'm not angry." To him it sounded condescending, to speak to her like this, but he saw that look in her eyes. It was the one that said she needed reassurance, she needed tenderness.

He ran a hand over his face, "If anything," he continued, "You should be yelling at me. I missed your birthday, after all."

"I should," Meredith agreed hoarsely. "Too tired."

Derek smiled. "I didn't mean to," he said with a sigh. "I had it all planned out, we were going to get home before you even got off work, and let Addison watch Lydia if she was well enough, and pay one of your minions if she wasn't. We were going to go out to the docks and watch the ferryboats and then go get dinner. But my plane was delayed. I hoped that I'd still get in at a decent hour so I didn't call you, and by the time I did…."

"By the time you did," Meredith cut in, "I'd already decided that I didn't give a shit about why you hadn't called and I put my phone on silent; after accidentally changing the ringtone and wallpaper twice, mind you. Phones are not so easy when you're doing tequila shots," she said bitterly.

"Never tried it."

"Don't. How's Addison?"

"Okay," Derek said impatiently. "Look, Mer, I was informed last night by the person who did eventually pick up your phone that I am not handling things well. George," he added in response to Meredith's confused look.

"George," she repeated. "Oh, crap, George. Derek I told--."

He held up a hand. "I know. It's okay. Let me talk, okay?" Meredith nodded, and propped her head up on her hand. "Okay. I definitely should have asked you before I agreed to help Addison. For her sake, too, I should have made her tell someone besides us what was going on. But more than anything, I should have consulted you before making all of these decisions.

"I'm not sure exactly what we could have done, gone together this time, maybe. I shouldn't have freaked out the other day in the kitchen, either. But most of all, I should have realized that attempting to surprise Meredith Grey generally has averse effects."

This, at least, had the effect that he wanted and Meredith smiled.

"This is true," she agreed, but her smile faded after a second. "But Derek, I should apologize too. I was stupid and whiny about this from the beginning, and when I realized it I decided that I should just attempt to separate myself from you until it was over. That's why I didn't tell you when I was sick. It wasn't even a conscious decision, really." She looked away. "It wasn't that I was afraid of losing you, not really, it was that I was afraid of not having you. I need you Derek, more than is probably healthy. I realized that when Lyddie was in the hospital. It's hard for me to share you, at least with another adult. Especially if that's Addison

"It's selfish, and I don't blame Addison. She needs our help. Our help. Together. And I need you. I need us.

"And yesterday…. Well, it was just my birthday, and it really shouldn't have meant that much. I mean, I've had crappy birthdays before, I could have ignored it if they hadn't had a party in the stupid conference room and then Burke and Cristina took Lyddie and I was alone, and I went to see my mother but she's not there…" She was bridging on hysteria, and yet she was obviously aware of all that she was saying. He noted that last night had not just been about him, it was everything.

They were silent for a minute, with Meredith lying back on the pillow with a sigh, and Derek glancing at the window, attempting to put this all together. He turned back to her. Slowly, he slid over and lay next to her. "So," he commented, turning over to face her and gently pushing a piece of hair out of her eye. "Can we forget about all this and just be us again?"

"You mean the us who are sickeningly cute and drive my friends crazy?" Meredith asked.

"Yes."

She smiled, and nuzzled against his shoulder. "Okay. I like that us." She smiled, but drew away slightly. "Derek? I'm sorry."

He put his arm around her, drawing her to his chest. "Don't be, Mer. It's okay, and it's over. Okay?"

"Okay," she agreed, closing her eyes, and pressing her face against his chest. He stroked her hair and breathed a sigh of relief. "Derek?" Meredith said after a moment, her voice muffled by his sweater.

"Yeah?"

"My head hurts."

He chuckled and slid down to kiss her. "Generally a direct result of drinking," he observed and she stuck her tongue out at him.

"I know that. I, better than anyone, know that, but I don't like it," she whined with a playful note in her voice.

"Close your eyes," he commanded, kissing her forehead. "Your friends can deal with Lydia for a while longer."

"Damn right they can," she agreed snuggling against him again. "If they're adopting a kid, they can deal with ours."

He laughed again, and touched her cheek with a finger. "I love you," he told her, and only hoped that that conveyed how lucky he felt to have her and how much he wondered what he had ever done to deserve her.

"I love you, too," she said and he gently put a finger on the corner of her smile.

They lay there together and Derek felt content for the first time in weeks. He was tired, but he did not want to go to sleep. He wanted to stay there and soak in the perfection of the moment. Meredith's breathing evened out quickly, as she fell back into sleep. Her eyelids flickered in a dream and she smiled. Derek smiled too, glad that she was happy.

It did seem too long before the moment was broken, but it must have been a while, he knew later. There was a sudden noise from Meredith's purse, and in his state, somewhere between awake and asleep he thought that it was Greensleeves.

"Phone," Meredith murmured, coming out of sleep again and lunging for her purse.

"Greensleeves?" Derek asked with his eyebrow raised.

"The guy at the bar thought it was funny. It's probably Cristina freaking out. Huh, no, it's Addison."

"There was a guy?" Derek asked, teasingly, although his heart leapt at the fact that it was Addison. Why was she calling on Meredith's phone? Meredith waved away his questioning, and opened her phone.

"Hello?" she asked. "Oh, hi Addison. What's going on? Oh. Oh. Okay. Yeah. Thanks for calling. Yeah. He's here. It's okay. I'll come. Thanks." She shut the phone and lowered it, staring straight ahead. Derek could not read her face, and he pushed up on his elbow.

"Meredith? Meredith, what's wrong?"

She did not say anything, just sat there, staring straight ahead

"Mer? Meredith, sweetheart, what's going on?"

She shook her head, just once, but then again and again. Then she finally spoke. Or shouted, rather. "Izzie?" she called. "Izzie!"

"Meredith, what is going on?" Derek asked, more firmly, sitting up and putting a hand on her shoulder.

"We have to go," she said, firmly and calmly, standing up.

"Meredith, tell me what is going on!" he demanded as Izzie opened the door.

"Mer? What's up?" she said, looking between Meredith and Derek suspiciously.

Meredith stood there, frozen on the floor, with one shoe on. "We have to go to Roseridge," she said quietly, seeming to suddenly become smaller. She turned to Derek. "Addison's there, visiting Mark. She says that they're saying Mom doesn't look well at all. They let her call, since she knows us and was there and I put her on the emergency list because she was familiar with the staff and so she called and--."

Derek was off of the bed by then, and he got his arm around her, pulling her against him. "Stop," he said. "I got you. Let's get your stuff and we'll go right away, okay? Izzie will come with us, and I'll call Cristina to bring Lydia. It'll all be okay."

She obeyed him, putting on her other shoe and getting her purse.

"All right, let's go," he said, leading her out the door, with Izzie following. He had a horrible feeling that the other shoe had just dropped.

GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA

So this is what shock feels like, Meredith thought numbly, sitting in the passenger side of Derek's car. "My car," she said abruptly, staring at the windshield.

"Is it at Joe's?" Derek asked, as if that was the most normal thing for her to say when her mother was… she wasn't going to think about that. Instead she nodded, once. "We'll take care of it later. Maybe George can pick it up for you, okay?"

"Yeah. That's good," Meredith said, putting her head against the window. It still hurt, but she thought it might have something to do with fear and not with her hangover. Izzie sat in the middle of the backseat, with Lydia's empty car-seat next to her. She wished that Lydia was there to distract her.

She was glad that she'd seen her mom the night before. It had been a nice visit, even if things had not been going well.

She wondered if her mother remembered, had remembered, would have remembered, the good times they had had in Boston. She had small memories, of swings and parks, and shopping trips when she was older. She remembered a vacation one Christmas, just one, and the drives to her cousin's house on Thanksgiving. Mocking her aunt and cousins on the way home…. She definitely got those skills from her mother. Along with her career choice, even if her mother had not wanted her to do it.

She should call her cousin Roald, the only one still in the country or who would care.

"Did you call Cristina?" she asked, not really aware of what part of her asked the question.

"I did, remember Mer?" Izzie piped up. "She said she'd feed Lydia lunch and then bring her up to Roseridge."

"That's right," Meredith said, remembering. "Okay."

Derek's hand found her way into hers and she held onto it tightly. "We're almost there," he said. Meredith nodded, but she was not sure that she wanted to be there. She felt sick, and she knew that this time it had nothing to do with tequila.

When they pulled into the parking lot she could not bring herself to get out of the car. Derek looked at her as Izzie slammed the back door, and he gently reached over and unclicked her seatbelt. Then he got out of the car and came over to her side. He opened the door and took her hand, pulling her up and out of the car. She could not imagine what she would do if he was not here.

"You're going to be okay, Meredith," he whispered. "No matter what happens, I've got you," he assured her. He put his arm around her and she folded her arms against her chest, leaning against him as she walked. Izzie held the door open for them and the receptionist stood up as soon as she saw them.

"Dr. Grey, Dr. Shepard," she said. "Ellis is in her room. I'm afraid things don't look good."

"What happened?" Meredith demanded quietly. "I was just here last night and no one--."

The receptionist shook her head. "I'm sorry. She just took a turn. These things happen."

"They happen?" Meredith said, outraged. "What the hell do you mean they happen? I thought you people were supposed to be taking care of her! I pay you not to let these things happen!"

"Meredith," Derek said, firmly, breaking into her tirade. "This isn't her fault, and you know it. Come on, let's go to your mother. That's what's important now." He guided her firmly by the shoulders, past the sitting room and down the hall to her mother's bedroom.

Meredith was shocked when she opened the door. A nurse was in there, sitting in a chair and watching monitors. Her mother looked gray, and her breathing was shallow. Meredith could not believe that just yesterday she had seemed healthy enough, if nothing else. And now there was nothing, just a shell.

"Mommy," she whispered, going over to the bed and kneeling next to it. She took her mother's hand and held it tightly. "Mom, I'm here, it's Meredith and I'm here. Izzie's here too, and Derek. We're going to stay with you, Mom. I promise." She knew that she couldn't be heard, but she hoped as she always did that some part of her mother heard.

Izzie sat in a chair by the window, and Derek too the chair that the nurse vacated, right behind Meredith. She was vaguely aware of the nurse taking another chair in the corner, of Izzie commenting on her mother's gaunt look, but Meredith could not focus on them. The only thing she could see was her mother, lying there and looking as if she were already gone, except for the steady rise and fall of her chest.

The day was a haze, for Meredith, in which she was only fully aware of her mother. Stupid memories kept running through her head, fights and good times, the day her mother had dropped her off at Dartmouth and commented dryly that the house would be a lot quieter, but Meredith had seen tears in the very corners of her eyes.

It was about noon, she thought, when Cristina came in with Lydia and the room was suddenly no longer quiet which jarred Meredith out of her memory induced stupor. "Daddy!" Lydia exclaimed, propelling herself into Derek's arms. He caught her and hugged her hard as Meredith slowly turned around to watch them.

Cristina stood awkwardly in the doorway, and Meredith met her eyes briefly, but all she saw there was sympathy and she could not take that. So, she turned to her daughter, who was looking up at her, expectantly.

"What's going on, Mommy?" she asked, looking so innocent. Meredith had a flash of being that age, of her mother brushing her hair before making dinner and making her finish her vegetables. Of when she was a child and her mother was just Mommy, not Dr. Grey, not Mom. Just Mommy.

"Lydia," she said carefully, choosing her words very deliberately. "Grandma Ellis is very sick. She--." At that point, Meredith's voice broke and she raised a trembling hand to her mouth. "Derek," she said, looking up at him, "Derek, I can't."

"Yes you can, Mer. Yes you can," he said firmly. "She has to hear it from you."

Slowly she nodded, and took a breath, willing herself to look only at Lydia, who wore a curious expression as she scratched at a spot on her leg where the Velcro from her braces was touching the skin. Out of habit, Meredith adjusted the Velcro, and then began again.

"Lyddie, baby, you remember how we've talked about Grandma Ellis?"

"Yes, Mommy, I remember."

"What have we said?" Meredith asked, taking her daughter's hand.

"That she loves me, but she can't talk to me, because her mind isn't working in the right way. That Daddy and you can't fix it, 'cause it's a disease. That she won't live as long as Grandma Susan and Grandpa Thatcher 'cause of the disease."

"That's right," Meredith said nodding, when all she wanted to do was retreat within herself again. "Well, sweetheart, the nurses think that that day might be soon. Grandma Ellis is very sick."

"Is she going to Heaven?" Lydia asked, seriously.

Derek seemed to know that this might be the breaking point for Meredith, and he gently moved into Lydia's line of vision. "We think so, baby," he said.

Lydia took a moment to accept this, and then turned to Meredith. "Are you sad Mommy?"

"Yes, sweetheart, I'm very sad."

"Oh. But Grandma Ellis will be happier in Heaven, won't she? And she won't hurt anymore, and we can still talk to her, same as we do now."

Meredith didn't know quite how to respond to this, although Izzie murmured, "From the mouths of babes," and she agreed. Still, when Derek settled Lydia on his lap and she turned back to her mother, who was laboring for breath, she could not feel anything but sad.

It was another while before Izzie got up to get a glass of water and disappeared for a very long time. Cristina had left, but offered any assistance that they would need with Lydia.

"Daddy, I'm thirsty," Lydia whispered, and Meredith almost smiled at the child's attempt at discretion.

She heard Derek shift. "Mer? Will you be okay for just a minute while I take her to get some juice?"

Meredith nodded, unable to talk around a lump in her throat. Derek leaned over and kissed the top of her head as he left.

For a few minutes there were only the sounds of a clock ticking and her mother's breathing. Then, without really knowing what she was doing, Meredith was slipping off her shoes and climbing up onto the bed. She lay with her head facing her mother's. Her mother's eyes were open, though unseeing.

"Mom?" Meredith whispered. "If you can hear me, and I hope you can. I just wanted to say thanks. You did a good job, you know, even if I was ungrateful as a kid. I know it wasn't easy. Believe me I know. And if you're ready to go, it's okay. I'm not alone anymore. And you'll still be with me. So it's okay." Tears were coursing down Meredith's cheeks, and now she let them fall as she kissed her mother's papery cheek. "I love you, Mommy," she said, as Lydia did and as she once had, so many years ago.

GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA

Izzie had not expected to find Addison asleep in a chair just inside Dr. Sloan's room, but she had. The red-head's eyes had opened when Izzie slipped into the room. She sometimes came to see Mark Sloan whenever she visited Dr. Grey. He had been Alex's mentor for a time, and Izzie felt as if he needed more visitors than just Addison.

"Izzie?" Addison asked in confusion and Izzie nodded.

"Yeah, it's me. I'm here with Meredith. What are you doing here? Well, that's a stupid question, but I mean…." Izzie paused. "No, actually, what I mean is where have you been? I haven't heard from you since your sudden decision to take a leave of absence. Addison, what's going on?" She didn't bother mentioning seeing her with Shepard. Just because.

Addison stared at her for a minute, as if gauging something. Then she took a breath and nodded. "It hasn't been working," she said, almost to herself. "Okay. Izzie, the reason I took a sudden leave of absence, and the reason I haven't called you or anything is that I didn't want to bother anyone. Which was stupid, because all I've done is bother Meredith and Derek. Okay, not rambling." She looked down at her hands, usually perfectly manicured, but not this time, Izzie realized. "Izzie, I've been diagnosed with breast cancer."

Izzie did not know what she was expecting, but this was not it. She found that her jaw had dropped, and she abruptly closed it. "Seriously?" she said, in shock.

Addison nodded. "It's not bad. Or at least, they don't think so. I had a lumpectomy, and the first dose of chemo this week, in New York."

"New York?" Izzie said, things beginning to come together. "So Derek was going with you to New York so that you could get chemo? Addison Montgomary, that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard!"

Addison laughed at Izzie's chastisement of her. "I think I'm still your superior, Dr. Stevens."

Izzie sighed and shook her head, holding a hand out to Addison. "No. Not right now. Right now, I have all your cases, and all that I want to be is your friend."

Addison seemed to be shocked by this, but she smiled as she took Izzie's hand. "I think I need a friend," she agreed. "Meredith tries but--."

"Oh my God, Meredith!" Izzie exclaimed. "I should go back. Come with me? So you're not sitting in here alone?"

Addison nodded, pulling up on Izzie's hand and keeping hold of her arm. "I shouldn't have come here so early," she admitted weakly. "But I wanted to see him. I think…" her voice broke slightly. "I think it may be time to let him go. I have power of attorney, he didn't have any family, and after hearing Derek talk about Meredith's mother I…." she trailed off as they reached Dr. Grey's room. Meredith was sitting on Derek's lap, with Lydia on the floor, leaning her head against her father's leg. Ellis's breathing was growing less and less strong.

"Look who I found," Izzie whispered, leading Addison to a chair.

"Addison, are you okay?" Derek murmured, and she nodded.

"Just tired."

Derek nodded, and Meredith shifted just a little as she held her mother's hand and watched her steadily.

Izzie had watched patients slowly fade away before, and she hated it, but there was something almost mystical about breathing simply slowing until it stopped. There was a nurse in the room constantly and about an hour after she had found Addison they all knew that it was over. The nurse checked the vitals, but this was in front of a room of doctors.

Meredith kept staring for several minutes after her mother's time of death was called, with Derek gently rubbing her shoulders, Izzie knew, in an attempt to get a response out of her.

No one spoke, until Meredith did. "She wasn't alone," she said. "We were here with her. That's good. That's how it should have been." Then she looked up at Izzie. "Izzie? Could you take Lyddie to the car?"

Izzie nodded, and offered an arm to Addison, who took it silently. Lydia led them into the hall. "Aunt Tizzie?" she said. "Is my Grandma Ellis in Heaven now?"

"Yes, sweetheart."

"So she doesn't hurt anymore?"

"No, baby, she doesn't." Izzie said slowly. She hurried Lydia down the hall, as she heard a sob coming from the room that they had just left. By the time Derek and Meredith came out, however, Meredith's face was dry and she remarked that the home would take care of the arrangements, as her mother had wanted. She calmly called her father to let him know, and Richard Webber, before they left the parking lot, but Izzie saw how tightly she clung to Derek's arm, as if she knew that her legs would not support her if she tried to stand alone.

A/N Review please!

Yeah, I know you guys wanted her to yell at him. But she's Meredith. She'll take easy. This one is winding to a close, I'm afraid, which is sad because I love it. And you guys. And there's still In My Daughter's Eyes to finish, and at least one one-shot before the season premiere. And this isn't quite over!