Hey dudes and dudettes! Chapter Two to my wonderfully funny story here! Been having some writer's block, (God forbid, not that!) so sorry if this has been a while coming.
Disclaimer: (8)When the feelin's right, I'm gonna run...away from the lawyers...yeah, run away...(8)
Revenge Isn't Always Sweet
Part 2: Getting Even
Inuyasha awoke with a start; the room was freezing! He rolled over, but couldn't; he was stuck! He tried to see, but the sun was so damn bright…
Finally everything came into a painful sort of focus: he was laying on the bottom of a pile of people, and Sesshoumaru was right on top of him. 'Ewww,' he thought, before he felt something…on his…manly part. He growled. If he discovered someone's hand there, he'd - wait. He palpated something warm and smooth with his own hand. Where was his hand?
Sesshoumaru opened his eyes to stare into Inuyasha's. Everything that had happened yesterday, and his whole life before that came back to him, and he growled. To make matters worse, he had a sneaky suspicion that he was naked, judging from the draft he was getting, and someone's hand was on his butt!
He looked at Inuyasha again and did a double-take. Someone had coloured all over his face with…marker? It smelled horrendous, he thought. He narrowed his eyes at his brother.
"Inuyasha," he whispered, "if you tell anyone about this, I really will kill you." He got up off his brother and began to look for his clothes. A sock fell off his…manly part, and he quickly bent over to retrieve it.
Inuyasha had been so shocked by the look of Sesshoumaru's face that he couldn't respond; instead he burst out laughing.
"Oh, man, you should see your face!" he chuckled, and he began to look for something to cover himself with.
'And you should see yours,' Sesshoumaru thought, deciding to keep this little detail to himself for a while.
"Oh, and if I ever catch your hand on my dick again, I'm really going to kill you!" Inuyasha threatened, still looking for something, anything to cover himself with.
Sesshoumaru said nothing, only stopped and stared at the monk, who was about as clothed as they were, but he was surrounded by various coloured markers, and he had ink all over his hands.
"Don't look now my baka of a half-brother," he said, looking over his shoulder, "but I think we've found the culprit to this dirty trick."
The night before, Kagome had remembered that they had taken the markers home, and that they'd need them if they were going to frame Miroku, so she'd run back to get them while Sango admired the three naked men, thinking, 'Who knew they had such cute butts? Oh, Inuyasha's butt-dimples are soooo cute!' She pointed these out to Kagome upon her return, and she agreed that his butt-dimples were very cute, indeed.
After that they had stolen all the clothes in the hut and hung them over the bushes surrounding Kaede's hut, so they'd have to come out in public to get them. Then, they camped out outside the hut, and waited for the show to begin.
At first, nothing happened. They thought maybe they'd killed them with booze…naaaahhhh. Then, an almost naked houshi was sent flying outside, screaming that he had been framed and that he didn't do it.
Miroku landed ten feet in front of them, but skidded to a halt in Sango's lap. She grinned when he looked up at her. "Is something wrong, houshi?" she asked, her voice honey-sweet.
He growled; Kagome covered her mouth, but continued to pack up their camp. He smelled a rat, and he was going to coax it out!
"Yes, me and my companions in the hut are missing our clothes, you wouldn't happen to know where they are, would you?"
"I thought for sure you would know better than me, since you obviously hung them there," she said, pointing at the shrubs outside the hut. He jumped up, grabbed them, and put them on faster than even Sango thought possible.
Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru must have been watching from the window because they yelled, "Hurry up, monk! We're freezing here too, you know!"
Miroku, seeing all the villagers looking his direction because of all the yelling coming from what was supposed to be an old woman's hut, decided that he hadn't appreciated his rude and very painful exodus from the hut.
"Well, Inuyasha, I would, but you kicked me out to suffer alone, and even though I told you I didn't do those things to you and your brother, it looks like the two of you are stuck, because I am not going to get your clothes for you after that abuse to my person." Here he rubbed his sore back, more for emphasis than out of any real pain.
Sesshoumaru stuck his head out the door and hissed, "Get my clothes, monk, and I might let you continue to live!"
Inuyasha concurred. "I hate to agree with Sesshoumaru, but if you don't get me my pants at least, we're going to string you up and torture you, Miroku! Do you really wanna die that way?"
Kagome and Sango had packed everything up by now, and appeared to be bored.
"Come, ladies," Miroku said, putting an arm around each girl's shoulder and steering them away slowly, momentarily forgetting his suspicions that he had been framed by them.
Kagome pretended to stop and rustle around in her pack. Shippo jumped up on her shoulder to see what she was looking for.
"Hey Miroku, look what I found!" she said, and pulled out her Polaroid camera. Sango's eyes lit up. "Kagome, that's brilliant!"
Miroku was clueless. "What is it?" he asked cautiously.
"You see this button here? Well, when you aim the camera, and press this button, it snaps a picture, and it comes out here," she pointed at the slot in front, "and after a minute the picture shows up!"
"Cool," he said, then realised why Sango was so excited. "Ha ha ha ha! I see! It's perfect for catching those two in the buff!"
"And having something to show everyone we meet!" Sango was practically jumping around in excitement, the boomerang on her back flying around precariously as she moved. Miroku side-stepped her three times to avoid getting hit.
Stealthily, they crept back to the hut, until they were outside, under the bushes the clothes were stuck on, where they waited.
They didn't wait long.
Sesshoumaru paced. And held on the sock. And paced some more.
Inuyasha still searched, in vain, for anything to put over his…manly part. "Damn it! Where'd you get that sock?" Inuyasha demanded, and Sesshoumaru responded, "It was on my when I woke up, OK!"
Inuyasha sighed in exasperation. Damn that Miroku! He didn't even remember what they had done last night to wind up in such a predicament. Sesshoumaru was just as clueless, though no longer did he suffer from the amnesia. He was beginning to wish he did, though. And he had an overwhelming urge to wash his hand.
After five minutes, he stated, "That's it. I've had enough. I'm going out there to get my clothes, and I don't care if the whole village does see me. They should consider themselves honoured to witness the perfection that is I, Sesshoumaru, even if I am naked at the time."
He gathered his courage at the door, and discarded the sock. 'May as well give them a good show,' he thought, 'I have nothing to be embarrassed about, my body is very nice, if I do say so myself! Besides, anything worth doing is worth doing right…I guess.'
He approached the shrub, and Kagome jumped out and snapped the picture.
Sesshoumaru screamed and rubbed his poor eyes. His whole life had flashed before his eyes! It was a short life, and that made him angrier.
Inuyasha was laughing as Sesshoumaru stood there, blinded, naked, and growling in plain sight. He cringed as once again everyone laughed, only this time the collective roar grew in intensity till he had to cover his ears or go deaf listening to the din.
When his vision came back, he calmly collected his clothing, waved his…manly part…at the people, (who clapped…?) and walked away.
Inuyasha started to sweat. It was his turn now, but he heard a rustle, and his pants landed on the floor behind him, stuffed through the bars of the window.
He picked them up and looked out, to see Miroku skulking back to the girls, unnoticed as they waved the piece of paper with Sesshoumaru's picture around, waiting for it to develop.
"Thanks Miroku," he whispered. "I guess I owe you one. I didn't really think you'd pull this kind of prank and not remember to put your own clothes back on, anyway. It was obviously those girls, now that I really think about it." Quickly he dressed, and walked out, behind them, to peer over their shoulders at the picture.
When it developed, he was the first to laugh, and when he was done, he and Miroku walked away. Kagome and Sango stared after them.
"Something's wrong," Sango whispered, and saw Inuyasha's ear twitch and rotate in her direction.
Kagome elbowed her, "Icks nay on the ong-wray," she hissed, waving at the boys as they looked suspiciously over their shoulders.
When they had disappeared, Sango pulled Kagome so close she could count her pores. "They took that way too well, they're onto us," she said, watching the grounds around them, expecting an attack out of nowhere. She could just imagine what the guys would cook up if they had a mind to…
Kagome waved her off. "Come on, Sango," she chided, brushing off her own fears. "These are guys we're talking about. How intelligent and sneaky can they be? Haven't you ever heard the saying, 'Anything a boy can do, a girl can do it better'? Come on! Don't give them so much credit." She ran a hand through her hair and struck a pose. "Besides, how can they possibly prank us if we won't stop throwing ourselves at them?"
"Kagome, you are soo evil!" Sango giggled, and they walked to the Well, to prepare and dress at Kagome's house.
Inuyasha and Miroku were sitting at the hot spring, having eavesdropped on the girls' entire conversation. Both were more than just a little steamed.
"I can't believe it," Miroku said for the tenth time, and Inuyasha rolled his eyes.
"I know! You can stop saying that now! Those two tried to pull the wool over our eyes, and it almost worked, but now they're on the defensive, 'cuz they figure we're onto them now. Though I have to admit, I think Sesshoumaru took the brunt of the whole ordeal."
"Still," Miroku rubbed his chin, thinking, "this calls for some serious retaliation. We can't let those two get away with trying to embarrass us like that. I say it's time for a little payback!"
Inuyasha leaned forward eagerly. "Now you're speaking my language, brother! What do you suggest we do?"
Miroku frowned, annoyed. "You know, you could think of something too, I can't be the brains behind the entire operation. A few ideas on your part would be nice!"
Inuyasha sighed as if this had been a long-suffering sore point between them. "Miroku, I'm the brawn, you know that. You're the brains, just admit it! I can't think up complex plans like you can."
Miroku smiled, his ego having been thoroughly stroked. "Yes, I suppose that's right," he agreed, without trying to sound too proud of himself. Inuyasha saw right through his act, but decided to keep his mouth shut - for now. He'd say whatever he had to, do whatever was necessary, to aide Miroku in coming up with the most awful ideas he could think of, because those girls needed to be taught a lesson, but good!
"Well, whatever we do, we must not fall for their charms, no matter how tempting."
"No problem here." Inuyasha laughed at Miroku's twitching fingers. "You, though, I'm not so sure about!"
Miroku sat on his hands, to still them. "I can do it, I just need to invoke a higher form of self-control to accomplish it, that's all." He sulked; how come he was the only randy guy in the group?
He'd give anything to not be so alone in his attitude.
Suddenly, he smiled. Inuyasha almost jumped out of his skin, the smile was so…un-Miroku like. It was the smile of a man who was extremely confident in his plan, and Inuyasha poked him, yelling, "Tell me, houshi! Before I make you!"
"Ok, here's the plan," he said, pulling his dog-eared friend close so he could whisper into his fluffy white appendages.
"I say, we go in hard and we go in fast…"
When the girls returned, the boys were awaiting them. They shared a glance; Sango was freaked, Kagome could see it in her eyes, but she upped her confidence. They would have the last laugh, or she wasn't a miko named Kagome.
"Don't panic, follow my lead," Kagome whispered to Sango, who nodded imperceptively. They sashayed up to the boys, who were talking quietly to each other…and completely ignored them!
Kagome frowned a little. She toed Inuyasha, and non too gently, either. He pushed her, and she yelled, "Hey! Pay attention, idiot!"
"Shut up, can't you see I'm talking to Miroku? Damn nosy woman," he muttered under his breath, and Miroku nodded judiciously, totally agreeing.
Sango noted, though, that he was doing a very poor job of keeping his eyes averted from her, and his fingers twitched visibly. She began to think of a plan, but Kagome beat her to the punch.
Kagome had begun to laugh an evil laugh, and slowly reached one hand up the back of her shirt, which immediately got Miroku's attention.
'One down,' she thought, 'one to go.'
"Maybe this will catch your interest?" And she lifted her shirt up, flashing both boys.
Miroku's jaw dropped, and Inuyasha's eyes bugged out. Sango burst out laughing, then almost screamed as Miroku flew forward, his treacherous hands out-stretched, his fingers twitching madly, yelling, "Must have! MINE!"
He'd taken three flying steps forward before Inuyasha's arm shot out and clothes-lined him, knocking him unconscious.
"No, houshi, not yours," he growled, an evil smile now spreading on his face.
"MINE."
Suddenly Kagome wasn't so confident anymore. Her eyes began to dart around, looking for an escape, when he lunged forward, and, to both of their surprise, clamped both hands onto Kagome's breasts!
Her jaw dropped before his, and both turned red. Then Kagome slapped him - hard.
"HENTAI!" she screamed, and slapped him again. In the back of his mind Inuyasha was agreeing with Miroku - that was totally worth it.
Hahahaha! Inuyasha got whacked! lol, I love it. Miroku's such an idiot. But ya gotta admit it was a good idea...until it backfired! hahaha, review babies, it's what I live for!