Hello dearest reader, apologies for the late update, I know it's been a while. Work has been really draining me, but I will continue to work on this story when I can! Big stuff to come in the final chapter (:
Chapter 2: Purgatory
Not a single soul visited her in the following days. What started as almost daily torture sessions suddenly became none. While Azula certainly did not miss the agonizing pain inflicted upon her at Yukai's hands, in some twisted way she almost missed having the stimuli of seeing another living soul. And so, she languished away in her cramped cell, losing track of time as it ebbed and flowed around her paltry existence. She remained manacled in her cobblestone cell, no company to satiate her idle mind save for the scampering of a few rats, eager to vulture whatever scraps of her meal that she left behind. Only her meager rations, a single bowl of rice passed through a slit in the door, were the only markers to Azula that time was even passing. Minutes became hours, which eventually turned into days as Azula soon felt herself growing sick of the voices within the confines of her mind.
Perhaps being trapped in a cell for so long would do that to anyone.
Thus, Azula found herself awakened in shocked surprise one morning at the sound of the lock to her cell door clicking gently to the sound of an inserted key. With a groan, the door swung open.
Azula recognized the gilded inlace that adorned these men's armor, a marker of recognition above the standard palace guard. The captain stood in the doorway, his expression impassive, his features hidden by his full plate helmet. Behind him stood an entourage of ten men, all hand-picked officers given the privilege of serving in the Royal Guard.
"We are here to escort you to your former chambers, Princess." His words were succinct and with little fanfare. Azula could not read any emotional sway in his words.
Still processing the break in her routine monotony, Azula simply nodded mutely in assent.
The captain produced a pair of iron manacles and bound the Princess' hands, before undoing the cuffs that chained her to the cobblestone floor. Though still bound, Azula felt an uneasy relief wash over her at no longer being chained to the ground like an animal. With a gentle, but firm hand, the captain guided her forward, with the rest of the Royal Guard following in tow. Azula found herself winding through the dank passageways at the captain's direction. Despite the moldering walls being her most recent home, even she did not recognize all the twists and turns that they took to slowly snake their way back to the surface.
Finally, the entourage stopped at what appeared to be a simple alcove. Picking out a singular brick upon the wall that lay slightly more indented, the captain gave it a gentle press. With a hiss, the wall receded and retracted, revealing a flight of stairs upward.
And at the top, was freedom.
Azula never thought she would miss the balmy Fire Nation summer climate until now. She took a deep breath, filling her lungs with the fresh air that her body had been craving all those forgotten weeks. In an instant, she could feel the aches in her manacled joints and her healing wounds dissipate ever so slightly, each breath of hers drawing the pain out like a poison. She felt her inner fire now flicker back to life with the oxygen, expanding its warmth after weeks of being suffocated in darkness. It flowed and filled every fiber of her being, and an inadvertent smile grew on Azula's face. The mental clarity that she sought so terribly was slowly returning to her, as each step towards the sun's warmth brought her ever closer to a sense of self-control that had eluded her for so long.
To Azula's surprise, her room had remained untouched in her absence. She would have sworn that father would have had her room scoured for further evidence of treasonous behavior. Perhaps he had already seen enough, confident in his fury.
With a quiet click, the captain unlocked the manacles that bound her hands as Azula gave her arms a quick stretch. Without a doubt, they were stiff, and she had a lot of catching up to do if she would even hope to match her father in combat.
"The Firelord will give you three days to gather your strength. On the dawn of the fourth day, we will escort you to the dueling chambers." Once again, Azula was unable to read the emotional undertow of his words. If the captain had any opinions at all about the current situation, he certainly hid them well.
"Understood." Azula replied. It was all she could muster to say.
In silent acknowledgement, the captain bowed curtly, turning to make his leave. As he motioned towards the door, resting his hand gently upon the knob, something made him pause. For a moment, he stood stock still, his body language remaining unreadable. Azula heard a soft sigh echo from within the helmet.
"Permission to speak freely, Princess?"
Azula was taken aback by the formality, "You don't need to ask for permission, captain. Judging by the past few weeks, I believe that my father has made it abundantly clear that I am no longer deserving of such a title." Her scarred skin burned in remembrance at the blood-curdling agony. Yes, father had made that point quite clear.
"I swore an oath to protect the honor of the royal family. No matter what happens, you are still of royal blood." he replied, conviction strong within his words, "Now, may I speak freely, Princess?"
She was no stranger to the military-types, honor-bound and following orders to the letter. While Azula surely saw restraint as an admirable quality, restraint untempered by reasoning would always be their downfall.
Azula sighed. "Fine, if you wish, you may speak freely, captain."
Something in the armored man's posture shifted at her words. Still he faced away, but the rigidity in his posture seemed to loosen ever so slightly. He brought his shoulders down more loosely, as if a weight had been finally lifted.
A pause hung in the air.
"I…I am sorry this is happening to you, Princess." The words were shaky, like a child speaking new words for the first time. Azula was shocked, to say the least. Rarely, if ever, had Azula ever seen a Royal Guard share any personal opinions with the royal family, let alone the captain himself.
Despite his reverent silence on the matter, Azula had always remembered the man fondly. Hori joined the ranks of the Royal Guard when she was just a child. She remembered the then- Lieutenant Hori as quite intimidating, but she soon learned that he was rather gentle in spirit. Through repeated displays of fierce loyalty and bravery, he rapidly climbed the ranks within the Royal Guards. Upon the final step, as was tradition for achieving captaincy, he challenged his former captain to an Agni Kai.
Despite being over a decade ago, his duel with Captain Kyu has remained legendary among the scholars and propagandists of the Fire Nations. In an unprecedented display of martial zeal, the two men fought intensely for over two hours, with neither side seemingly growing tired or giving an opening. Eventually, through a series of complicated and blisteringly fast parries and counters, Hori eventually succeeded in delivering a devastating blow, knocking out his opponent.
In what was, at the time, a shocking disobedience, Hori refused to execute his former mentor. Though initially met with fervent claims of treason, the royal houses and the rest of the pageantry soon came to laud his decision as an unrivaled display of true honor, a decision to spare his honorable combatant and preserve another fearsome warrior of Agni. Even Firelord Ozai, who initially met Hori's decision with suspicion, had come to greatly respect the man through his many feats and his unshakable faith in the culture of the Fire Nation for the years that followed.
And now, here he stood, offering condolences to the fallen princess. Azula could not even begin to make sense of the mental image she held of the legendary captain and the frank honesty that she had felt in his words just now. Surely this is some kind of elaborate joke? His words were meant to be taken as snide and sarcastic, a reflection of the truth he must have felt against her. She had brought shame to the royal family! Any true son of Agni, and the captain no less, would have to have seen her as the treasonous villain that her father saw her as.
"You don't mean that, Captain Hori."
"I do, Princess." His words were clipped, but not unkind. Again, Azula could sense the honesty that he had placed behind his words. The second time around, she knew this wasn't a ruse. This was real. Fear mixed with curiosity as Azula stared blankly, enraptured by the captain's words. Slowly, she composed herself to continue the conversation.
"My father will never forgive me for things I've done. You are a proud son of the Fire Nation. Why would you think any differently?" she replied quietly, her inflection silently challenging his words once again.
At first, Captain Hori said nothing. Then, he reached upward, freeing himself from the restrictive helmet that had adorned him. He turned around to face the Princess. Though this was perhaps only the fourth time Azula had seen him without his helmet, she was nevertheless shocked by the youth that still adorned his features. He was barely a man in his late twenties. A clean shave accentuating his square jaw, unlike many other higher ranking officers who preferred the sagely appearance of a beard. His eyes were warm, though she could see a hint of sadness in them.
"I may be proud of the Fire nation, but I am not blinded by its dogma." he spoke with a steadfastness that continued to belie his youthful appearance, "I have guarded you for long enough to tell that you are not a traitor at heart."
Everything Azula had come to believe about this man was now completely turned upon its head.
He continued, "Besides, I could see the way you looked fondly towards that water tribesman, everytime he entered the room. The look that you held was one of love."
Azula grew warm in her cheeks as she remembered those moments. The way her heart would skip a beat when Sokka would swing open the doors to the war room and almost immediately regard her. The way her skin would cascade with warmth as he gave her an ever-so-slight nod and smile. Those fleeting moments were ones that Azula, whether she liked to or not, held very dearly to her heart.
"And how do you know so much about love, captain?" she replied. While she definitely questioned his astuteness, curiosity about learning more about the captain pushed her forward. A small, unreasonable part of her even hoped that he would provide the wisdom she needed to undo the fate before her that all but seemed inevitable.
He sighed again, "Before I joined the Royal Guard, I was an infantryman in Colonel Hako's battalion. We were stationed in a garrison just outside of Hafu village, near Gaoling."
A number of years ago, Azula recalled her father discussing a revolt in a place called Hafu. A shiver went down her spine as she also recalled its outcome.
"I met a woman there. An Earth Kingdom woman." His voice became softer, as if his words were dredging up memories now too painful to hide. "We had always met in secret. We both knew what the consequences would be if we were caught. Every meeting, she tried to convince me to leave the army, to explore the world with her."
"But I was blind then. Blinded by my loyalty and bound by my indecision. We eventually had to move on, and I left her behind." The pain in his words were now palpable, although Captain Hori kept a stoic face. It ached of a longing that Azula now knew all too well. She stood in enraptured silence, dread creeping into her as the outcome of the captain's tale drew close.
"A year later, we received a report of an uprising in Hafu. The local townspeople had assaulted the garrison, slaughtering its troops and taking control. It was not long before Firelord Ozai brought the full might of the army down upon the garrison. He wished to make an example out of them."
"Before long, they had managed to capture all the rebels. As punishment, the new garrison commander had them all bound and chained down in the village square. They doused the entire village in oil before setting it alight."
The Cleansing of Hafu was how it was referred to in the textbooks, Azula recalled. A piece of Fire Nation history meant to espouse the glory of the FIre Nation's might, cleansing the ignoble Earth Kingdom of bandits and rebels. But, to Azula, the captain's description of the events that unfolded sounded anything but.
"They made the leader of the rebels watch as Hafu burned for three days, before they executed her amongst the charred corpses of her comrades." Hori's words were icy and distant, as if he were desperately trying to counteract the emotions within him that threatened to explode forth. "I had only learned later that the leader of the rebellion and the woman I had loved, were one and the same."
"Nera…" Azula whispered under her breath. She did not remember where she had learned of the woman's name, but it had remained in her memory nonetheless, and perhaps would now remain seared into her mind forever.
"Nera…" Hori's voice trailed off as he mimicked Azula's utterance of her name. His face now became blank, devoid of any discernible emotion, as his focus drew towards a distant point out in the beyond. For a second, he was lost among the dreams and nightmares that now occupied his memories.
"What happened then?"
Another long pause. The captain closed his eyes, shielding Azula from the pain that festered within, "I learned then that I was a coward. I was too weak to fight for what my heart whispered in want. I did not possess the strength to do what you do now."
Azula was stunned into silence, the disbelief palpable in her awestruck expression. The great Captain Hori, calling himself weak? Even more incredibly, laudeing her for her strength? Never in a million years had Azula expected this conversation to turn out how it did.
"So, believe me when I say I understand your situation, Princess." He bowed his head ever so slightly in reverence. "I apologize if my outburst was out of line."
Some things never change. Azula could not help but let out an un-princess-like snort, "That may be a gross understatement, Captain."
When she was met with deafening silence at her attempt at humor, Azula cursed herself silently and continued, "It's fine, Captain. This is the first time I've heard your personal story." She could not help but feel the awkwardness set in. The man had just bared his innermost regrets to her and she had nothing else to say?
As quickly as those emotional tides came in, they receded behind the mask of impassiveness that Hori held. He replaced the helmet upon his head, making a quick turn step and walked towards the door. "I will take my leave now, Princess." he says, perhaps a little too briskly to Azula's liking.
"Captain Hori."
He pauses once again at the edge of her new prison.
"Yes, Princess?"
"Thank you… I… appreciate your words." It was not something that Azula said often, if ever. But better now than never.
"You are welcome, Princess."
With that, Captain Hori stepped past the doorway, leaving Azula alone with her thoughts.
She stood before a small cabin made of stone. Though it was small, a sense of quaint warmness exuded from its exterior. The rough-hewn stone walls showed signs of care and life, as candlelight flickered gently through the open window.
She turned to survey her surroundings. She sat atop a hill, a small plot of land stretched out from where she stood, filling the land around her with life and greenery. Assorted vegetable patches dotted her view, punctuating the scrambling green vines with vibrant shapes of reds and yellows. Out in the distance, a treeline ran, demarcating the reaches of her domain.
Though the sun was out, Azula felt a shady coolness as she drew her focus towards her immediate physical space. A cherry blossom tree towered above her, its delicate weeping branches providing the much-needed shade that had initially drawn in her attention. The tree was blooming in all its beauty, with its soft pink petals wafting down towards where Azula sat, gently tickling her nose as one dared to fall close. I don't remember when the cherry blossom season started… Azula mused to herself wistfully.
She looked to where she was sitting, taking note of the cool hard surface. Reaching down, her hand came into contact with the cool firmness of stone. She ran her hands gingerly around the edges of the stone bench, feeling the roughness of the stone exfoliate her fingertips.
Though Azula did not recognize where she was, she did not feel her typical trepidation. In fact, quite the opposite. The reflexive twist in her gut when taking stock of an unknown was gone, replaced by a glowing warmness that felt all but foreign to her. Perhaps it was a new instinct or perhaps it was a feeling that she had never particularly paid attention to. Of that, Azula was unsure. Nevertheless, she drew towards that sensation like a curious sparrowkeet, searching for its source. At the end of the trail, she was greeted with a sensation that only made the warmness grow brighter. Though it was a sensation that had only recently entered her life, she had embraced it with all of her heart.
Azula felt comfort. She felt at home.
As if on cue, two chestnut brown arms reached out from behind, resting gently upon her shoulders. They drew her close, pulling her into a warm embrace. The familiar scent of sea salt and pine filled her senses, instinctively drawing a smile to her face. Azula leaned into it, resting her head against his broad chest.
"How are you feeling?" he whispered, his voice tranquil like the scenery before her.
"I'm…I'm happy right now." she managed to stumble out. Azula was never quite good at expressing her feelings, which encouraged her to do so even less around others. But with Sokka, she didn't care.
"Well, as long as you're happy, I'm happy too."
She sighed contently. Yet, a nagging feeling tugged at her. Like an unwelcome guest, the thought ran through her mind, unable to be removed. She turned her face, peering upward at the man that embraced her warmly.
"Sokka… am I…are we…"
He let out a slight chuckle that rumbled down his chest and her shoulders, a slight grin on his face. "No, silly princess, we're not dead." Azula let out a sigh of relief that she didn't know she was holding, "Although I do have to break the news and tell you you're dreaming."
As far as dreams go, this one was rather pleasant.
The memories of the past few weeks of her life drew back to Azula abruptly. She grimaced as she remembered the unforgettable smell of burning flesh and her screams. Her mind grew hazy as she could barely recall whether she was still trapped in that cell, or had been moved above ground as her father had promised.
Sokka, as if reading her mind, embraced her tighter, his airy smile replaced by a growing look of concern. He took a seat beside her, his arms never leaving her from its tender embrace. He sidled up gently against her, proffering his shoulder from which she could perch her head. Azula readily took up his offer, nestling herself against the crook of his neck, her raven black bangs cascading down the side of her face and his chest.
"Hey, hey, it's alright. I'm here." he offered calmly, attempting to soothe the anguished look upon her face, "You're safe here with me."
"But this isn't real, Sokka. You're not real. How can I delude myself with this fantasy when the truth is anything but?" she said, pain gripping each of her words. She could feel tears forming at the edges of her eyes now.
"While that may be true, Azula, you must have dreamed of all this for a reason." Sokka replied with a sagely smile, "Maybe it's time for you to stop worrying about the future for once and enjoy being in the moment with me, even if it is fleeting." Even in her dreams, he managed to chastise her about not being in the moment, much to her reluctant cooperation.
"Fine." She nestled herself closer, burying her head in his chest. It was an act of appeasement to Dream Sokka, but it wasn't much of a loss since it only made her feel closer to him. "But, Sokka, you must realize that when this is over, I still have to face my father and I will lose. He saw to that by locking me away for weeks on end to languish."
Sokka's smile faded, a grim countenance taking over. He reached one hand over, stroking her locks lovingly, "Be that as it may, I don't think that it's something that you should dread, Azula."
What kind of madman tells someone not to fear certain death?
"I know that you will give everything you have. Even if you lose, there is no shame in that." he continued. As he spoke, he turned his focus forward, staring at the cottage wistfully, "And hey, you never know, you might just beat your father."
Azula glared at Dream Sokka in disbelief. This has to be a dream, even Sokka is never this naive.
"Are you crazy, Sokka? How am I, a tortured prisoner with a few fractured ribs, going to defeat my father, one of the strongest firebenders who most certainly spent the weeks I was locked up training for the Agni Kai?" she spat, almost at a shout. She winced in pain, the sensation of her cracked ribs reprimanding her as she drew a breath after her outburst.
He remained stoic, his face not reacting to her words. Slowly, his attention slowly turned, rested back onto her, "Because, I know that you are fighting for a reason much more powerful than Ozai could ever understand."
Azula scoffed, "Please, you're not going to tell me I'm going to win because of love, right?" Even in her dream-addled mind, that thought was entirely preposterous.
"No," Sokka laughed, "although I have to admit it is part of it." She looked at him quizzically now, trying to grasp what he was reaching for. "The key to firebending is more than just control and breathing. Your feelings and emotions are equally as important because they are the source of your flames and your strength. That is what you have that Ozai does not."
Azula's golden eyes flashed with realization as she finally drew the meaning behind his words.
"Yes, love is part of it. But so is excitement and joy, hurt and fear. Take all of those feelings and harness them, temper them with your training, and I believe you will stand a fighting chance." Sokka smiled at her warmly now, his cobalt gaze thawing the trepidation that gripped her mere moments ago. Sometimes, Azula hated how much sway he had over her.
She brought her focus now towards his lips, warm and inviting.
Azula wrapped an arm over his neck, letting the weight pull him down until his lips met hers halfway. She was firm and insistent, to which Sokka obliged with a pleased hum. Their connection sent an electrifying shock through her, and in that instant, all of the emotions that they spoke of well up to life within her. As Sokka reached down to support her neck and deepen the kiss, fluttering excitement and overwhelming joy intoxicated her mind as she lost herself within the moment.
As they finally pulled away from each other, Azula returned the longing gaze. She wondered if she could just never wake up.
"You are such a sap." she said, through a gentle smile.
"Me? Let's not forget we're in your head right now. This is all you." he replied with bemusement, a goofy smile adorning his face, one that Azula had come to know and love.
"Well then, clearly my mind is telling me this is what I want." Azula replied with a sigh of faux-resignment. She returned to her perch atop his shoulder. A new sensation graced her, though it was one she readily recognized.
Peace.
"Can I stay just a while longer?" she said into his neck, just barely above a whisper.
He leaned his head down gingerly, kissing her forehead gently.
"Of course. I'll always be here when you need me."
For once, Azula didn't feel like objecting.