Keeping Up With the Scoobies Chapter 4: Keeping Up With Angel Investigations (1), a buffy: the vampire slayer fanfic

BtVS || Spuffy || BtVS || Spuffy || Keeping Up With the Scoobies || Spuffy || BtVS || Spuffy || BtVS

Title: Keeping Up With the Scoobies – The Long Way Home

Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Tags: m/f, f/f, hurt/comfort, survivor's guilt, fluff, found family

Main Pairing: Spike/Buffy

Side Pairings: Tara/Willow, Xander/Renee, Robin/Faith, Connor/Dawn, Dowling/Dylan, Angel/Cordelia, Oz/Bay, Buffy/Satsu (briefly), Willow/Kennedy (briefly)

Buffy Characters: William 'Spike' Pratt, Buffy Summers, Dawn Summers, Rupert Giles, Willow Rosenberg, Alexander 'Xander' Harris, Andrew Wells, Tara Maclay, Renee, Faith Lehane, Robin Wood, Robert Dowling, Dylan Turner, Satsu, Kennedy, Daniel 'Oz' Osbourne, Bayarmaa 'Bay'

Angel Characters: Angel, Cordelia Chase, Connor Angel, Harmony Kendall, Winifred 'Fred' Burkle, Wesley Wyndam Pryce, Charles Gunn, Lorne

Summary: Buffy shared her powers with all potential Slayers. But that was only the beginning. Now, she has to deal with all the new Slayers, with the aftermath of LA going to hell – and coming back. The world knows about the supernatural, there's no going back.

Keeping Up With the Scoobies

The Long Way Home

4. Keeping Up With Angel Investigations (1)

Spike had done it. He'd become a champion. Done the right thing, for the right reasons. Not to impress the girl, but to save the world. The moment he had died, he'd thought of Buffy. Thought of how she had done this – died, to save the world. A heroic sacrifice. Just before Spike had died, she'd said it. Said that she loved him. He knew she didn't mean it, couldn't mean it. A woman like her, she couldn't love him, not him. Not after all that had happened between them. Yes, she had been kind to him in these past months, ever since he had gained his soul. She had been kind. But that was who she was. People betrayed her left and right and she continued being kind to them. So she had told him the one thing he was desperate to hear, as a last act of kindness.

And then he had died, and he had thought of her. Not the confession, but the time she had died. And what had followed. The moments of his death felt like they stretched on forever and he thought about what would follow for the others. He was under no illusion that the Scoobies would miss him. Buffy would, she'd mourn for him for a little while, and then she would be strong again, for the others and for herself. The little bit might miss him, he thought she might be the only one who really liked him. He felt guilty for leaving her. The girl had been left by her crappy dad, her mom had died, big sis had died, then one of her surrogate witch moms had died. She was so young and she had already lost so much and he felt guilty for being someone else she had relied on who left her now. But he hoped she'd fine. She was a fighter, those Summers women all were.

/break\

When Cordelia Chase had left Sunnydale, she had thought it was for a more peaceful, less crazy and deadly life. And then she ran into Angel and met Doyle and started something new, with them. It was supposed to be small-scale at first. Them, saving the day. They lost Doyle but they also grew, gaining new members and their team became more of a family than a team. With the Scoobies, she had always felt like she was on the sidelines. She wouldn't have become one of them if she hadn't been with Xander and though Buffy tried to check in with her, it was hard, because of course was Buffy siding with Xander, because he was her best friend. Cordelia couldn't be on the same team as Xander and Willow anymore, not after that, not like they used to. So she wanted a fresh start. And with Angel Investigations, for the first time, she felt like she had truly, fully found her place.

Admittedly, there seemed to be more downs than ups in Los Angeles. Darla's return, her pregnancy. Angel's son. Oh, Angel's son. The impossible miracle that was stolen just after his birth. The way that had fundamentally broken something in the team, the rift it caused between Wesley and Angel. When Conner returned, he was a teenager. An angry, traumatized teenager. And of course was Angel his most awkward self in trying to be a father. Honestly, sometimes Cordelia wondered what he'd be doing without her. Things got slightly messy when Angel went missing. Every time Cordelia thought that her and Angel could be together, could be happy, something got in the way. But together, the team managed to find him again. Just to be thrown into the next apocalypse.

Conner managed to get some magical girl pregnant. Lost, helpless, latching onto Conner and, just like his father, Conner had a savior complex. Cordelia didn't see much wrong with it at first, she wanted her stepson to be happy. This wasn't happiness. It was just another ploy. The girl gave birth to a higher power, who tried to mind-control the world, strip humans of their free will.

They saved the world, again. Only that Cordy was very skeptical of their 'reward'. Wolfram & Hart. That was it, that was their reward. They were supposed to be in charge of the Los Angeles brand.

"I can not stress enough just what a horrendously bad idea this is, Angel. It's bad. Truly bad."

It was twisted and bad and warped and there had to be a hook. Wolfram & Hart claimed they had ended world peace by taking out the higher power enslaving humans. The implication that they had played into Wolfram & Hart's hands alone made Cordelia want to take a long, thorough shower.

"You know the saying. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer," tried Angel to argue. "We can do more with these resources than we ever could. And if we control them, we can take charge of what they do. How is this not better than fighting them from the outside? Cordy, please."

He used those infuriatingly cute puppy-dog eyes on her. Heaving a sigh, she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him into a close hug. There was logic to his argument, but it was still fundamentally flawed, because they were going to do what the evil hellish lawyers wanted.

"This is going to backfire horrendously," warned Cordelia seriously.

"Potentially," agreed Angel, brushing his nose against her cheek. "But haven't the two of us faced enough apocalypses together at this point? Don't you think whatever comes next, we can handle it?"

"What unusual optimism," Cordy chuckled teasingly. "Still, I reserve the right to say 'I told you so' when all of this comes back to bite you in your perky, little ass."

"You think my ass is perky?" Angel grinned, gently kissing Cordelia.

In all fairness, when they had gotten into the limo the first time to be driven to their new law firm, all of them had been skeptical. There were clear perks. They split the team up to sway them all with shiny things. Admittedly, Cordelia liked the ups of this too. Wolfram & Hart had its own divination unit and there, they could help her. Finally, the pain and side-effects that went with her visions were gone. They'd been getting worse when the higher power had gotten close to coming to Earth. She had incapacitated Cordelia, to prevent her from interfering.

The divisions they were assigned to had them all be like children in the candy-store. Fred with the science division, Lorne around all of those stars he always wanted to meet. The longer they stayed, the more they heard, the more they got swayed by it. One by one, she saw them fold. And perhaps it was going to pay off in the end. But Cordelia, of all people, knew that gifts came with a price.

She knew why Angel had agreed, she might not agree with how he handled things – erasing them from Connor's memories and erasing Connor from the others' memories – but she understood the impulse that had went into that. He wanted to protect his son. Everything that Connor had been through solely because he was Angel's son. This most recent adventure in particular had taken too much of a toll on the boy. Cordelia understood. She still thought it was a bad idea though. Angel, on the other hand, was trying to justify it for himself. Find angles to make this a reasonable decision after the fact. He was telling himself that they could change things here. She hoped he was right.

/break\

"So... how have you been?" asked Cordelia awkwardly.

"Vampire," replied Harmony. "You?"

"Oracle," answered Cordelia, leaning against Harmony's desk.

Once upon a time, the two had been best friends. Now, it felt like a lifetime ago. It kind of was, for Harmony at least. She was undead now. Cordelia regarded the blonde slowly. Somehow, Harmony had both changed so much and not at all at the same time. She was still a bit of an airhead with a very bright attitude, a nearly painful optimism, but she had also grown up. Cordy could tell; she'd known Harm her entire life. Dying, becoming a vampire and all that had followed, it had changed her. The fact that she had given up human blood all on her own? Cordelia was intrigued.

"It's good to see you again, Harmony," admitted Cordelia honestly.

"Ah! I missed you too, Cordy!" Harmony squealed as she went to hug Cordelia tightly. "But you know, you did so good getting out of Sunnydale. Honestly. Should have gotten out earlier too."

"No one should have lived there to begin with," muttered Cordelia softly.

"I hope blondie bear made out out," Harmony frowned thoughtfully. "I mean, it's not like I want him back. And he was kinda crappy to me on the bad days. But he was good on the good days."

Right. Harmony and pre-soul Spike used to be a thing. Cordelia had heard about that from Buffy. Wild. Maybe not tell Buffy about this just yet. Then again, Cordy had also opted out of telling Buffy about the evil law firm just yet; upon Angel's request, that was. Which only went to show that Angel wasn't a hundred percent sold on his own plan just yet either.

"Fred and I are going to have a spa-day together this weekend. Why don't you tag along? We could catch up, you could get to know Fred," suggested Cordelia. "One good thing about this evil law firm is that it has its own spa. Small mercies, I suppose."

"Girls day! Yay! It's been so—o long," agreed Harmony enthusiastically.

/break\

The thing about sacrificing himself was that Spike had thought it would be the end. Rest. Forever. After the long life he had led as a vampire, he had been prepared for it. He was going to save the girl, save the world, go out as a hero and that was going to be it. Instead, he was non-corporeal now. A ghost. A ghost in Los Angeles. Which, LA itself wasn't the main problem. Angel was.

The two of them had a rough and complicated past, to put it mildly. But Spike had hoped it laid in the past – that Angel laid in his past. Angel had moved on to Los Angeles, Angel got his own girl, or so Spike had overheard while living in the basement of the Summers home. Spike had Los Angeles. He should have – could have – no. He didn't know what could have been. Perhaps that was why he had been ready to embrace the sacrifice. He didn't know if there was a future for him. If there was a place for him. Going out in a blaze of glory seemed like a good deal there.

"I can't believe I'm stuck with the—the ponce now!" Spike snarled annoyed.

He paced irritated. This was hell. His own, personal hell. It wasn't even that he asked for a reward for saving the world, but how did they end up punishing him for it? Now he was stuck with Angel for... ever? What were the chances of the Slayer moving to LA? And then to actively choose Spike over Angel, when the both of them were here? He had no delusions about that.

"You are way more mopey than I expected," commented one of the women.

"Mopey?" echoed Spike offended and turned to glare at her. "I'm not mopey. Captain Forehead over there, he is the mopey one! I just died saving the world! Bit of agitation seems justified!"

"Did he just say he saved the world?" asked the other brunette woman.

"Yes. Buffy said he went up in flames, saving the world," replied the first one before stepping up to him. "Hi. Cordelia Chase. Pleasure to meet you. Have heard so much about you from the Scoobies. Some good. Some not so good but in the past. Others... very interesting."

"Right. Cordelia," Spike nodded slowly, frowning. "Harris' ex."

"I prefer to define me though... literally and virtually any other quality at all aside from that."

Spike quirked his lips. "I like you. And you're sure you want to shag up with old grumpy? Pretty sure you could do much, much, much, much, much-"

"Are you done soon?" Angel growled agitated.

"-much, mu—uch better," Spike offered a toothy snarky smirk.

While Angel and Spike growled at each other, bumping chests with glares, Cordelia rolled her eyes.

"Bit of introduction. That's Spike. Harmony's ex," Spike huffed at Cordelia's choice, but she simply smirked back at him. "Vampire with a soul, been helping the Slayer and her little gang out in recent years. Though that's all post our leaving, Wes. So, yeah, ghost boy is a good guy and it'd be in the personal interest of the Slayer if we helped him out."

"It is?" Spike perked up a little, a look of hopeful confusion on his face.

"Yes, it is," Cordelia turned toward the others, motioning at them one by one. "Spike. Meet the team. Wesley, former Watcher, Gunn, new lawyer, Fred, basically our Willow minus the magic and the lesbianism, and Lorne, he can see your aura when you sing."

Wesley. Spike had heard about that one. He'd come up when it came to training the fledglings. Another Watcher would have been useful. Oh well, now it was too late for that, he supposed. Though then again, if Buffy's plan had worked, there were countless new Slayers in the world right now. That seemed to warrant a few more Watchers too, didn't it?

"How about everybody calms down for now?" suggested Wesley, glaring at Spike and Angel in particular. "Fred and I are going to investigate this. We'll figure out what you are, why you are here and how we can undo this so you can go and be on your merry way. Sound good?"

Spike nodded reluctantly, though his glare was still aimed at Angel. "Sounds fine by me."

/break\

The bloody ponce really had gone ahead and made himself a nice little copy of the Scoobies, hadn't he? Had gotten himself his own posh Watcher Wesley, the everyday human Gunn, Fred was charming and kind as Tara but brilliant and an inventor like Willow, and he had gotten himself a woman as headstrong and confident as Buffy, who didn't take his crap. Spike had to say, he liked Cordelia. The woman spoke her mind. He also had a soft spot for Fred, maybe because the kind way she smiled reminded him of Tara, or because she just generally showed him kindness.

"Talk to me. Tell me all about it," requested Spike in a soft voice, head tilted down.

He was in Angel and Cordelia's apartment – though Angel was out and about, playing Batman once more to save the innocent all on his lonesome. It were just Spike and Cordelia. She was sitting on the couch, looking at him with something akin to pity. Or understanding. Perhaps both.

"Not all of them got out," started Cordelia seriously, her hands on her knees as she looked away from him. "Anya, she... didn't... make it. Buffy, Dawnie, Xander, Willow, Giles, Faith – they made it. I don't know about the new guys though. Don't know them, so... I can call her, ask, if there are any you... care to know about in particular. But they made it out of Sunnydale. Thanks to you."

Thanks to him. The faintest smile found its way onto Spike's lips as he nodded to himself. Buffy and the little bit were okay, that was what mattered the most. Anya... The two of them hadn't been the best of friends, but they had shared a night of passion and a certain connection of being the only demons among humans. She'd been good. She didn't deserve that.

"She called me. Buffy. Afterward. She called from the airport to let me and Angel know," Cordelia continued, pressing her lips together for a moment as she breathed deeply. "They left the US. They're currently staying at Giles' estate in England. Training the new Slayers together."

"Good. That's good," Spike nodded slowly to himself. "Glad she's good."

"She's not good, you idiot!" Cordelia glared at him fiercely. "She saw you go up in flames. She was heartbroken when she told me about it. Willow told me that she's sitting in front of your grave – you have a grave in England, you know. They made a... graveyard, for those who fell. She's mourning you. She's not alright. You're alive. She has a right to know."

"And what do I say to her?" asked Spike incredulously. "Hello, luv, I'm back. But not really. No more body. I know that was the part of me you had the most fun with. Also on house arrest at an evil law firm that your ex is now running. Fun times. Wanna come visit?"

Cordelia crossed her arms over her chest and rolled her eyes. "I think the main reason you and Angel rub each other the wrong way is because you're just... seeing your own worst qualities in each other, don't you? That martyr-complex. That woe-is-me attitude f not getting the girl or a happy ending, mh. You know how long it took me to get it through Angel's thick skull that he deserves love? That he deserves to be with me? And I deserve to have him."

"What's that got to do with me?" Spike glared, grabbing his arms tighter, hugging himself.

"Everything! Literally everything!" Cordelia threw her hands up. "Look at you! Curling up here instead of running right after the girl you love to confess and live happily ever after."

"Not like this," snarled Spike, demonstratively waving his hand through the couch. "Not. Like. This. We gotta take care of this. I'll... I can face her, when I... have a face again. Physical one."

Cordelia raised one unimpressed eyebrow at him. "She has a right to know though."

This time, Spike averted his eyes. "I... Yeah. Sure. Tell her. But don't... call her here. I'm sure she's busy enough as is. Tell her to concentrate on her new Slayerettes. Train them. Watch over the little bit. Don't worry about me, I'll get by. Your brainy guys are gonna fix this in no time."

The look on Cordelia's face softened as she nodded in agreement. "Okay, fine. Your call."

/break\

"I'm losing... myself. I'm fading. Every time I fade out here, I... Something is pulling me to the other side and it's not good. You have to find a way to fix this. Please."

He stared pleadingly at Fred. The two of them and Cordelia were the only ones in the room. Spike didn't want anyone else to know. Certainly not Angel. And he hadn't exactly spend any bonding time with Gunn, Wesley or Lorne. Those weren't his people. They were Angel's people. Fred, she was... kind. And she was the only one qualified to help him. And Cordelia was, she was the one who kept him updated on the Slayer and the others. She didn't take his bullshit.

"Okay. Okay. We're going to... We're figuring this out," Fred nodded with certainty.

That optimism of hers, Spike truly, desperately needed it right now. He nodded sharply at her and walked out, through a wall. He needed to clear his head. Only that Cordelia didn't let him walk away this easily. She followed him to the roof, lingering back and waiting for him to speak first.

"She was in heaven, you know," Spike's voice was a soft whisper.

"Xander told me about that one," Cordelia approached him slowly. "He was... very drunk and very devastated. Told me how him, Willow and Willow's girlfriend had worked together to bring Buffy back from the dead and then she... told them she had been in heaven."

"I was the first one she told about that," the smallest, fondest smile fond its way onto Spike's lips. "I guess because it was easier than telling her friends. Than letting them know what they had done. But she told me what it had been like. Heaven. She made it sound... good."

He paused, leaning against the corner of the roof-top, watching the lights of the city. "Guess I was naive, but part of me, when I burst into flames... I had my soul back, I died for a higher purpose, saved lives. Just for a fleeting moment, when I died, I thought I'd... But of course not. Even after all that, the sins of the past weigh heavier. Thing is, I'm not ready for that yet. I can't go to hell. Not yet. Not now that I am back here, like this. If I'd gone there, right after. But I didn't. I came here. Holding onto existence with two fingers. As long as I am holding on, I can't... let go."

Buffy would be really mad if you did, you know," Cordelia hopped onto the edge, sitting next to Spike and looking down at him. "She worries about you. When we talk, she asks about you. I told her you're here and she... You can't come back from the dead and then die again."

"Right, yeah," Spike huffed a little, not looking at Cordelia.

"When you first got here, you sounded pretty... defeatist. Ready to die. To be dead. I may not know what exactly is going on with you or how to fix it, but attitude is worth a lot. You have to want to live, fight for it. And if you aren't ready to fight for yourself yet, you gotta fight for her."

"I'm... I wasn't ready to die. Not like that. But when it happened, I accepted it. I was ready to accept it," Spike tried to explain. "For one glorious moment, I was a hero. What better way to go out? And she... When I died, the way she looked at me. She told me she loved me. How do you come back from that? Meeting again will be... not just awkward. It'll force a conversation."

"And you're not ready for that conversation," Cordelia sighed. "Neither is she. Not yet. But the both of you, you can't run away from it forever. You have to confront your feelings at one point."

Author's note: Sooo at one point I said that I wouldn't rewrite AtS season 5 but then I kept accidentally bringing Cordy up, having her call Buffy and keep her updated, and the urge to see s5 WITH A LIVING CORDELIA grew more and more and I decided I'd do one chapter on s5 but it accidentally turned into two. Also I am now very attached to the idea of a Spike-Cordelia friendship if for no other reason than to piss off Angel xDDD Anyway, yeah, next chapter is going to cover the second half of s5!