Keeping Up With the Scoobies Chapter 9: Faith, Hope, Love, a buffy: the vampire slayer fanfic

BtVS || Spuffy || BtVS || Spuffy || Keeping Up With the Scoobies || Spuffy || BtVS || Spuffy || BtVS

Title: Keeping Up With the Scoobies – The Long Way Home

Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Tags: m/f, f/f, hurt/comfort, survivor's guilt, fluff, found family

Main Pairing: Spuffy

Side Pairings: Tara/Willow, Xander/Renee, Robin/Faith, Connor/Dawn, Dowling/Dylan, Angel/Cordelia, Wesley/Fred, Gunn/Anne, Oz/Bay, Buffy/Satsu (briefly), Willow/Kennedy (briefly)

Buffy Characters: William 'Spike' Pratt, Buffy Summers, Dawn Summers, Rupert Giles, Willow Rosenberg, Alexander 'Xander' Harris, Andrew Wells, Tara Maclay, Renee, Faith Lehane, Robin Wood, Robert Dowling, Dylan Turner, Satsu, Kennedy, Daniel 'Oz' Osbourne, Bayarmaa 'Bay'

Angel Characters: Angel, Cordelia Chase, Connor Angel, Harmony Kendall, Winifred 'Fred' Burkle, Wesley Wyndam Pryce, Charles Gunn, Lorne, Anne Steele

Summary: Buffy shared her powers with all potential Slayers. But that was only the beginning. Now, she has to deal with all the new Slayers, with the aftermath of LA going to hell – and coming back. The world knows about the supernatural, there's no going back.

Keeping Up With the Scoobies

The Long Way Home

9. Faith, Hope, Love

"Angel cakes, if you could take a break from your daily brooding session..."

Angel looked up with a glower, staring at Lorne. "I'm not... Oh, what is it?"

"You totally were brooding," commented Cordelia with a small, fond smile.

"My guys have detected a spike in magic," replied Lorne after a beat. "Really strong magic."

"What? Where is that even supposed to come from?" asked Angel as he got up. "Where?"

Lorne made a gesture as he turned around to lead the way. "The others are already gathering – oh, don't glower at me, you will only get wrinkles and as an immortal, those will last you. Harm, Fred, Wesley and I were at Spike's for a party when my guys informed me."

"A party," Cordelia whined softly before slapping Angel's upper arm. "Get over your unresolved sexual tension with Spike so I can hang out with him without feeling like I kicked a puppy. You are the puppy in this scenario, Angel."

"Unresolved what," Angel's voice sounded dangerously close to squeaking. "We don't-"

The way Lorne and Cordelia both turned at him as one and leveled a matching glare at him actually shut him up. He resented that term, but he did know that what stood between him and Spike was complicated and had many layers and perhaps one of the layers was the complicated sexual history between them. Still, the reminder just made him more annoyed and his glower hardened.

"You and Harm have been getting along well," commented Cordelia as the three drove.

"I know I took some time getting used to her, but for a vampire, she has a surprisingly... pure side to her – in the sense that she is very direct and upfront. No deception, no complicated multiple layered ulterior motifs," Lorne chuckled to himself. "And she is our current starlet, the biggest one LA has at the moment. Her career is only just taking off, I tell you."

"Oh, I'm watching her show," Cordelia nodded, a small grin. "It's... well, entertainment, I guess."

Angel tapped his fingers against his knee, tensely waiting for them to reach their destination. Nothing had happened in too long. Well, a lot was happening these days, but all in the confinements of Los Angeles. Something coming in from the outside? Had the Senior Partners decided to intervene? Make their goals known? The tapping of his fingers increased, until Cordelia rested a hand on his and gently wrapped her fingers around his. He turned to look at her and just seeing her smile soothed him some. Angel still wasn't used to feeling so serene. For far too long had he lived in fear of being happy, because happiness could mean the return of Angelus.

It had been six years now and still, Angel was struggling with the adjustment. Ever since Willow had restored his soul. She had no reason to add the curse to the restoration. His soul had been restored with no threat of losing it again because of true happiness. That was something he'd realized when he had first held Connor in his arms. In his entire life, no moment could compare to that, to looking into the innocent face of his baby son, a miracle he never thought would happen. And he hadn't lost his soul. For the first time, he realized what it truly meant to be happy, with no fear. Since then, he had many happy moments with Cordelia, moments he cherished, moments he never thought he'd be allowed to experience. But the concept of happiness was still so fleeting and fragile to him that he was afraid it would be taken away from him at any given chance.

"Took your bloody damn time," snarked Spike as soon as the three reached their destination.

Angel glared him down but refrained from saying anything. Mostly because he didn't need the running commentary from Lorne and Cordy. Spike raised one eyebrow at his silence.

"Okay! What is it, where is it and how do we fight it?" asked Cordelia loudly.

"We were waiting for you," replied Gunn, jerking his head. "C'mon, let's check it out."

"Aw, this is nearly like old times," Fred smiled brightly. "I mean, aside from the potential huge danger, not happy about that. But then that is also part of the old times, I guess..."

Lorne, Spike and Angel led the group, Cordelia, Wesley and Fred following behind them, with Gunn at the tail, watching their backs. The others had already evacuated the surrounding area while waiting for them, so the streets were even more eerie than normal – and the normal in a hell-dimension was already quite eerie on its own.

"That is some mighty juju," commented Lorne as he slowed down his steps. "Haven't felt that much power in a while. Not since you guys took down the biggest players down here."

"Okay," Angel's voice dropped to a whisper. "Fall back."

"Don't have to tell me twice, biscuit," Lorne quickly joined Fred and Cordelia.

Meanwhile, Gunn and Wesley stepped up to join Angel and Spike in the front. They had their weapons ready, bodies tense and alert as they rounded the corner. Angel tensed up even more as he saw the source of the power, unsure if he could trust his eyes.

"Found them," announced Willow with a broad smile, looking at them.

"Are... Are you guys... real?" asked Fred carefully. "I mean, are you you?"

"Hi, Fred. Yes, I'm me. And I brought the head Slayer," Willow's smile turned into a grin. "We noticed you got yourselves into some trouble and figured we'd help."

Angel's eyes were on Buffy. On the tense lines of her body, the way her hair was tied back, her eyes filled with so many emotions – love, regret, worry, relief, in an overwhelming number. But her eyes weren't on him, her eyes went past him, so he turned. Spike. All of those emotions that she had once held in her eyes when looking at him and she was aiming them at Spike.

It wasn't even necessarily that he was jealous. He was with Cordelia, had been with her for quite some time and had been in love with her for even longer than that. He wouldn't want to give Cordy up for anything, not even for Buffy. But Buffy and Angel had history and the feelings they once shared, the memories they had shared with each other, what they had been through with each other, she would always mean so much to him. And while he was happy with Cordelia, he couldn't help but want her to be happy too. Just not with Spike, a dark little voice whispered in the back of his mind. Why, of all the people in the world, Spike.

When they had met at the cemetery, before the show-down in Sunnydale, when he had given her the amulet, thought himself to be the champion, he'd asked her and she had been cagey about it, which only made him feel validated in his doubts. Looking at her right now, looking at the way she looked at Spike and seeing the way Spike looked at her. That was different. That was... real. As much as the thought of Spike with Buffy didn't sit right with Angel, he couldn't deny what he saw here. For the past year, he'd given Spike a hard time because he'd thought it was all fun and games for Spike, because he still saw Spike as the reckless prat who didn't take anything seriously. But the way he crossed his arms, turned his body just slightly away from her, trying to turn his head but unable to look away from her. He was guarding himself. Bracing himself. This wasn't the Spike who had boisterously claimed to ride off into the sunset with Buffy just to rub Angel the wrong way. This wasn't an act, this wasn't carnal and careless. And Angel didn't know what to do with that.

"Bu—uffy!" Cordelia's voice hadn't been that happy in a while as she ran past Angel. "Willow, I never thought I'd be this happy to see you again!"

With an exaggerated sob did she pull both Buffy and Willow into a tight hug, breaking the tense atmosphere and the observations going on between Buffy, Spike and Angel. Shaking his head, Angel instead regarded the others with them. Buffy's little sister Dawn, who now came into motion too and ran past Angel to hug a startled Spike. She'd never really warmed up to Angel, but she was currently smiling brightly as she hugged Spike, who stared down at her in wonder.

"You're really alive!" Dawn squeezed him some tighter. "Will and Andrew said so, but you never came to visit so I didn't know if I could believe them. Oh, I have so much to tell you."

"Slow down, Dawnie," Spike smiled at her as he reluctantly laid his arms around her.

"...Tara," stated Angel slowly as he turned toward the last member of their rescue group.

"Angel," Tara smiled at him politely and nodded. "I haven't seen you since Buffy's funeral."

"Not mine," added Buffy quickly. "Uh. Other Buffy. Other reality. We had a fun journey here."

"Well, why don't we... move this party out of the streets and somewhere more private so you can catch us up on all of that?" suggested Wesley before he cleared his throat. "Spike's place?"

Angel clenched his jaw at that; he preferred being in charge, but he could see that Spike's place was closer, so he nodded sharply. The quicker they got there, the sooner they could get some answers.

/break\

Spike's place turned out to be an actual mansion with a pool. Quite the upgrade from the old crypt. Buffy hung back some, letting her eyes roam as she stood with her arms crossed. Most people came to sit down on the large, comfortable looking couches. Buffy chose to stand behind Willow and Tara and instead watch the others. Cordelia sat next to Angel, holding his hand. Casually so, like she wasn't even thinking about it. Conceptually, Buffy knew that Cordelia and Angel were together, but she had never actually seen them together. It was a bit strange. She didn't actually recognize anyone else aside from Wesley and... Buffy pressed her lips together, sucking them into her mouth to lick them carefully as she looked at Spike. While the others sat, he stood behind their couch, with his arms crossed. Mirroring Buffy. Or was Buffy mirroring him...? Or did they simply have the same instincts? Stay on your feet, at a vantage point to watch out for danger.

While Willow and Dawn recounted their journey, start to finish but dropping the unimportant worlds they had visited in between, Buffy spent her time watching Spike. His hair was longer. Not long, but long enough to curl properly. Still wearing the coat, heavy boots and all black outfit. Buffy couldn't help but remember the last time she'd seen him. Catching fire. Sacrificing himself.

She closed her eyes tightly and took a deep breath. This was a lot. She couldn't just stand there tensely, waiting for... Who knew what. Turning around, she walked through the door leading to the huge garden with the pool in it. Bit of fresh air. Well, not fresh because hell-dimension, but still.

"Hey," a pause, a soft chuckle. "Been thinking about what to say to you for months and now the most I can muster is 'hey'. Bit pathetic, innit?"

Buffy swallowed and turned to look at him. His ridiculous cheekbones cast shadows on his face. Seriously, who had cheekbones like that? Those might actually be able to cut steel. His eyes seemed bluer, or maybe that was just the weird orange-red light of the hell-dimension. From his eyes, her gaze wandered up to the scar on his left eyebrow and she was overcome with memories of nibbling that while they had done—No, not a good train of thought right now. Clear head, no sex.

"I'm not faring better," admitted Buffy with a small smile. "I've had this conversation with you in my head dozens of times, but right now I'm drawing a blank."

Spike hummed and nodded, his eyes wandering down to the lighter in his hand. "Willow gave me this. Says it helped track us. Says... you've been holding onto it."

"I don't even know where I got it," Buffy laughed, resting a hand against her lips. "I found it... I found it in my pocket, when we got to England, after..."

"And you kept it this whole time?" Spike's voice was filled with wonder. "Even when you thought... When you thought I was dead? You held onto this...?"

The laughter died down and the corners of Buffy's mouth dropped as she turned away from him some, so she wouldn't have to look at him. Looking at him made talking to him harder, because he was there and it felt real and so much more serious. Like she could destroy something with the wrong word and that was just too much pressure. She had this conversation so often before with him, but there had only been the cold, hard headstone against her back listening to her.

"You have a grave," whispered Buffy softly, feeling like it must sound random, but she couldn't help think about it right now. "Back in England, at... Giles' estate. We built a graveyard, for those who died during the final battle and those... like my mom and Tara... whose graves were lost."

"Did I get a good spot?" Spike's voice was playful, but there was a soft vulnerability to it.

"Between Tara and Anya," whispered Buffy. "Keeping the Scoobies together."

A curious noise escaped Spike at that and when she turned to face him, there was a half-grin on his lips. Not playful or cheeky, but a gentle and genuine happiness. She swallowed hard, battling the emotions in her head, trying to prioritize her thoughts, formulate the right words.

"I'm a..." Spike closed his mouth, turning away from her.

Trying to hide the expression on his face from her. It made Buffy smile, just a little. They were so similar in many ways that it was infuriating. Neither knew how to properly express their feelings, both were uncomfortable in their vulnerability. Though Spike was marginally better at expressing his feelings – or at least, he was willing to put them out there, even if it was clumsy.

"You are," stated Buffy firmly, searching his face to find his eyes and hold his gaze. "You've been... far longer than we have been willing to acknowledge, Spike."

Spike's eyes widened and he tried to turn away from her, but... It was time they stopped avoiding it. She grabbed him by the shoulder, stopping him. He looked at her surprised, but after a moment, moved back to fully face her. He straightened up, as though he was readying himself for a battle. In a way, they both were. This was hard, harder than punching demons.

"I'm sorry," started Spike after a stretch of silence. "About not... calling. Or coming by. But in my defense, I was a ghost physically bound to Wolfram & Hart for the majority of the time."

He was rubbing his neck awkwardly, turning his head to look up at the sky. Not look at her.

"I'm sorry too," offered Buffy softly. "I... could have come to see you too. But I wasn't... ready, I guess. Or didn't know what to say. How to act. Never been on this side of things before, you know. The one who survived while someone else sacrificed their life to save the world. And then came back. Which, you so stole that from me. Self-sacrifice and resurrection are my thing."

She offered him the smallest grin, trying for playful. He huffed out a laugh and some of the tension between them seemed to dissolve. It started to feel more normal. Like it used to be. Not that it was ever completely normal between them. Or perhaps that was their own kind of normal.

"Well, can't let you have all the fun," Spike quirked his lips. "Though, can not recommend the whole ghost-gig. Not being corporeal sucks. Unless you manage to provoke Angel into hitting you and his fist goes through you and hits the wall."

"I don't even want to know how often you did that," muttered Buffy with an exasperated sigh.

"Ah, come on, gotta pass the time somehow," Spike snickered and nudged her.

"I told you why I was avoiding you, will you tell me why you were avoiding me?"

"That not obvious?" Spike huffed softly, a pained look on his face.

"Wouldn't be asking if it was," offered Buffy. "I think... it's time we actually talk. Instead of assuming what's inside the other's head and heart. Instead of avoiding each other."

"You told me you loved me and I died and that should have been it," Spike heaved a tired sigh. "But now I'm alive again and your words, meant to comfort a dying man, are still in the room and I'm not... I could face the end of the world, but I don't know if I can face being let down gently. Or worse, coming back and seeing you with someone else."

"There's no one else," said Buffy without missing a beat. "I mean, there was this Slayer and we kind of, you know, slept with each other, but it was more of a self-finding stress-relief needing a break situation than actual... feelings, romantic ones, that is. And you were gone months without a word."

"...Slayer?" echoed Spike surprised, blinking a couple of times.

Buffy flushed brightly. "Not the point here! But yes. While you were off ghosting me and, well, kind of also ghosting Angel I guess? I was... thinking a lot, about my feelings. All of them. Not just the ones about you. And... there were a lot of them. And I realized that... I have always been so busy trying to be perfect, be the best Slayer, I didn't allow myself to... doubt myself. Question myself. And there were things... I've been ignoring, pushing down, because confronting them was distracting and confusing. I'm bisexual, but that's super not the point, the point is that I love you."

"Wait, I'm sorry, what is the point?" Spike looked so bewildered.

"I love you," repeated Buffy, a faint smile on her lips. "You really are the only person who didn't notice, huh. I mean, in the entire house. Everybody knew. Even people who barely knew us knew."

"Ah... I..." Spike paused and blinked a couple of times. "Didn't prepare for that possibility."

"Of course you didn't," Buffy sighed and stepped up to Spike, grasping him by the coat.

He stumbled against her as she pulled him close enough to kiss. And with that kiss, she tried to convey everything that she felt with the kiss. They'd shared so many passionate and downright filthy kisses, kisses without feelings, harsh and demanding kisses. This was... gentle. Slow, loving, tender. Spike leaned into it, into her, holding her close as though he was afraid she'd be gone if he let go. His body against hers felt so familiar, after all this time, everything they had shared with each other. Every battle they had fought side by side with each other, trusting each other blindly. Well, other things also came to her mind, of course. Most of all though that one night, before the battle, as they had laid arm in arm and it had been so comforting. She hadn't felt that loved in a long, long time and right now, she felt an echo of that emotion.

"Oh," whispered Spike against her lips when they parted. "Really?"

"Really," she smiled and leaned in for another kiss.

"I'm... glad you came for us, Slayer," Spike returned her smile, resting his head on her shoulder.

"I wasn't too worried about you," Buffy hid her smile in his neck. "I had faith in you. But I didn't want to wait until you guys figure it out on your own. I'm not very patient."

"I noticed that, Slayer," Spike smirked teasingly, kissing the side of her face.

/break\

"Okay, Faith. You gotta pu-"

"If you tell me one more time to push, I will skin you alive and make a rug out of you."

Oz winced. Slayers in labor were actually even more terrifying than their regular selves. He briefly wondered how Buffy was doing right now. Wherever she was, it was most likely much more pleasant. Bayarmaa smiled up at him for just a brief moment before going back to her task at hand.

"Nearly there," Bay's voice was soothing.

Not even Faith had irritated snark for her, she just breathed and pushed. Until there was screaming. Small, but powerful screaming. With an exhausted sigh did Faith collapse back against the bed, brushing her sweat-soaked hair out of her face and watching Bay warily. Bayarmaa went to check the baby, clean it up some and wrap it up in a green blanket.

"Faith," Bay spoke softly as she approached the bed. "Would you like to meet your daughter?"

Both wolves watched Faith patiently. So far, she had not really told them what plans she had for the future. For the baby. A beautiful baby girl. Reluctantly did Faith reach her arms out. Bay placed the baby against Faith's chest with a smile.

"I'm going to be real crappy at this," stated Faith, her eyebrows raised high as she stared at her daughter's face. "No, seriously, you have no idea what you signed up for."

"You give yourself too little credit," commented Oz softly. "You've come a long way."

"Long enough to pull off single parenthood?" wondered Faith aloud.

"You could always tell the father about... Did you pick a name for her?" wanted Bay to know.

For a long moment, Faith simply stared at her daughter, carefully tracing her cheek as though to check that the baby was really real. "Hope. I like Hope, I think."

"Well, if you and Hope need help, know that she has an aunt and uncle right here," offered Oz.

Faith looked up at him with an unreadable expression. She wasn't alone, they both knew that.

Author's note: I've been thinking about HOW I want the reunion to go and since I couldn't decide if I wanted the first impression to be Spike's POV or Buffy's POV, I figured - why not Angel? Also LOOK AT THAT! MY SHIP HAS FINALLY SAILED. TOOK THEM ONLY 30K. OOOPS. And look at that, Slayer Junior is born! Next chapter, we're gonna move the party back to California ;)