MILITARY HYSTERIA

CHAPTER 5: MAKING BETS (1)

Roy was sitting in his office, and he was feeling kind of hungry so he decided to get the packed lunch from his drawer. He reached into it to find an empty lunch bag, his tuna sandwich, gone! His drink, gone! His desert, gone! Roy was furious.

"You ate my lunch!" he slammed the drawer.

Ed walked in with Breda following behind him. Roy glared at Breda. "What's up with you?" says Ed, while chewing in something.

"Quiet! Breda where's my lunch?"

"Your lunch sir?"

"Don't start that with me! I know your fatass ate my lunch!" Roy slammed up from his chair, and got in Breda's face.

"But sir I-"

"Look at you looking all triumphant and full!" Roy scoffed, and looked at Breda up and down "We don't know what you have in there, for all we know women and children might be in that odiferous, ogre, repulsive hag of fat you call a stomach".

Ed looked at the two, still chewing on something.

"Now tell me truth! It'll make it easier on you!"

"But sir I didn't."

Ed pulled out a small cup, and spoon and dug in it "O. my.gosh this is the best desert I ever tasted! Its all caramel and stuff."

"Did you just say caramel?" shouts Roy.

"Yeah! Wow thi-this is soooo good!"

"You bastard! That's my desert you're eating!"

"It is?" questions Edward, with a smirk

"Yeah! You got that out of my drawer you smurf!"

Ed quickly stopped eating at the insult "What was that?" now has an evil crimson glare.

"You heard me you piece of grain"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SOMBODY THATS SO SHORT THAT A PENNY CAN CRUSH ME?" he yelled.

"I never said that! You always making up things to say shrimp!"

"Don't call me that!"

"Pea."

"Shut up!"

"Bottle cap."

"I'm warning you Mustang!"

"Ok then fine! Lets make a bet! You can't eat any food for the whole week! All you can eat is milk, or drink!"

"Gasp! No way!"

"Fine then! Smurf!"

"Your on! And you cant call me any short names!" he yelled.

" If I win you have to refer me as the 'almighty Mustang ruler of all people'!"

"And if you loose?" asks Ed' still angry with fury

"I'll stop calling you any names that has to deal with your height, forever" says Roy

"Alright fine!" Ed agreed

"No body cares about my feelings" whined Breda.

"Quiet lard!" they both yell in unison. Breda kept his mouth shut

The past five days were murder to Ed! He was starving! All he could eat or drink was milk! He hated the Colonel more than ever now. He was reducing to nothing but skin in bones. His clothes started to feel heavier and bigger, and he started to feel weak.

On the other hand Roy was enjoying every minute of Ed's suffering. His bones looked so brittle they could brake by a touch of a feather! Roy could eat all he wanted, and he took this as an advantage.

Roy was eating a perfectly cooked steak, and he was enjoying every bite "mmmmm Oh god this is so tender" he took another bite. "AWW ITS MELTS IN YOUR MOUTH!" he praised happily.

"Damn you R-"

"What was that stick?"

"Don't call me stick! Hey! Wait a minute I win!"

"No you don't. You said any names that have to deal with being short. I didn't call you short" he continued, while taking a bite.

"Mann I'm so hungry!" Ed fell on the ground.

"You want a bite?" offered Roy.

Ed so wanted a bite, but he had to stay with the bet. "Ye-no I don't want any!"

"Alright then" Roy kept eating "O god! Aww-aww man this is so good! Aww man it's so juicy!" Roy bragged.

"Grrr I hate you!" Ed whispered.

It was day six, and Ed was lying on the ground unable to move.

"Sir this getting out of hand" whispered Riza "Ed has to go on a mission today, and the condition he's in-" Riza looked at the body; it looked dead and dour.

"Eww I think your right Hawkeye," agreed Roy.

"Hey full metal?" says Roy, as he walks up to the non-moving body "eat this you need it" Roy pulled out a sandwich.

"N-no"

"Eat it that is a command! You're not going to be dying on my floor! You have to go on a mission!" he pestered

"I said no! I am not loosing this!"

"This is serious! Eat it!"

"No!" Ed screamed, while keeping his head to the carpet, as he was too weak to lift it up

"Ugh!" Roy gave up.

On the last day, finally! Ed was able to eat; still didn't drink any milk. Roy opened the door to his office with a key "I wonder if full metal is still on the floor" says Roy, as he unlocks the door.

"What is that sum- O MY GOODNESS!"

Roy dropped the key, as he saw Edwards's body. His body looked desecrated, flies were eating at it, rats and cockroaches fled under Roy's desk. Ed smelled horrible. "Fu-full metal?" Roy stuttered, as he walked up to the corpse. He kicked it. No movement. Ed's body was really bony and brittle, CRACK "Oh f#ck!" screams Roy.

Havoc walked in "good morning Colo-SWEET MOTHER OF FART!" Havoc almost fell on the ground "Wh-what happened!" yelled Havoc, as he walked up shocked and disturbed.

"Its all my fault! I didn't mean too!" yelled Roy.

Havoc started to back up to the door

"Where are you going!" yelled Roy, as he slammed the door and locked it. "You will NOT tell anybody Havoc!"

"But si-"

Roy put up his glove "Now Havoc! You go get some shovels out the closet!" now with a crazed look on his face, "And you will meet me in the woods wont you Havoc?" says Roy.

"Your crazy man! Your crazy!" screamed Havoc.

"You tell anybody Havoc..." Roy puts his glove in Havoc's face "your death will be slow and painful" smirked Roy.

"Ye-yes sir!" shuddered Havoc.

"Now go get the shovels from the closet!" demanded Roy, as he picked up decaying body.

Havoc ran to the closet

THE NEXT DAY

"Roy have you seen Ed?" asks Riza "I haven't seen him since hat little bet."

"No" says Roy, as he looked at the newspaper.

"Have you Havoc?"

"I, uh"

"Yes. Have you seen Ed Havoc?" Roy looked up from his paper

Havoc shook his head reluctantly "N-no I haven't!"

"Ok then" says Riza

Roy glared at Havoc, and mouthed 'if you tell'.

Havoc started whimper "wahahhah" he whispered, "I didn't even do anything!"

"What?" says Riza.

"Nothing!" yells Havoc.

Riza gave a suspicious look.

"Havoc meet me outside please," says Roy.

"But why?"

"Now!"

Havoc slowly shuffled his feet, as he started to cry.

Well now ya know! DONT make bets that end up you or the person your betting dead. See ya later!