I moved closer to him, throwing one leg across his lap. Trying to help him relax. It worked slightly. I enjoyed watching each of the couples interacting with the pack. Soon that could be us. Until then, I will enjoy cuddling into my wolf.
Sam put the plates down on the deck. Scooping me into his arms. We cuddled and watched our pack eat. Then slowly watched them all leave, until Seth was the only one left in the backyard.
Chapter 8: Time limits
"Are you coming home tonight?" Seth asked.
"Would Charlie be cool if I didn't?" I questioned. It was so new to have a parent that actually gives a shit.
"No. I don't think he is that cool" Seth sounded apologetic.
I wrapped my arms around Sam. Even though we had spent almost the entire day together it felt like we needed more time.
"You are not losing me" Sam whispered into my hair. I would lose him. How had he not realized that?
"The best part about our rooms is that they have outside access," Seth smiled.
Looking at Sam I wondered if he would play the role of sneaking into a girls bedroom at night. If he did, it would not be for any reason other than the fact that he is bonded to me.
"What about the cameras?" Sam asked.
"Oh those have not been working. I have them on a loop, matching the seasons. Simply, I do not need the drama of Charlie noticing that Leah or I don't stay home all night. When we do, we typically don't stay home alone." Seth smiled.
"If you want to, my bed is open for more company tonight." I smiled at Sam.
I could see the internal struggle happening within Sam.
"Seth, can you give us a moment?" Sam asked.
Seth nodded, walking into the house. I heard the Xbox chime on.
My heart beat with worry. Did I say something wrong? Does Sam not see our relationship in that way? If he invited me to stay over, would he not share a bed with me?
"Bella" Sam started with a clinically gentle voice.
This was a voice I knew. This is the tone and cadence that people used when Renee went to rehab the first time. This is the voice that the police officers used when they brought Renee home to me. The same voice Coach used when I came to school with bruises. The same voice that the social workers used when they evaluated our house. The one that the priests used when they opened the soup kitchen.
I got off Sam's lap, needing space. I slowly walked around the perimeter of the house. Only stopping when I sat in front of the ocean. The storm happening in my brain was too loud for me to hear anything that was happening outside.
I let my head drop into my hands. My brain was overwhelming me. Memories threatened to suffocate me.
Sam kneeled before me. He pulled me into his chest. I let my hands drop as the tears I didn't know I was leaking soaked into his shirt. Sam held me. Slowly he began to rub my back.
When the final tear fell. Sam still held me. When my crying hiccups stopped, Sam still held me. When I felt my body slowly stop shaking, Sam still held me. When I wrapped my arms around his neck, Sam still held me.
"Sorry" I murmured. I was sorry for what had just happened. I was also sorry for the girl that had associated that tone not with love, but with uncertainty. I wish I could hold that little girl and tell her about the magic that awaited her.
"You are the most important thing in my life," Sam said softly.
I pulled Sam closer at those words. Trying, and failing, to force his body into my empty pieces. He held me just as fiercely.
"I do want to spend every day and night with you. I would say forever, but no time will ever be long enough," Sam spoke into my hair.
Fear took away my voice. Fear stopped me from opening up to Sam. These secrets of my brokenness I had hidden for years. It was a secret that I could not tell myself, let alone tell Sam.
"Is it possible to scare away an imprint?" I asked terrified.
"You are my imprint." Sam spoke, almost like a prayer.
"What does that mean? I know I feel the connection between us. Yet, I don't know what it is." I spoke into his chest.
"It means that I am yours, body and soul"
"Like a marriage?" I asked.
Sam pulled us apart just enough for us to look eye to eye. He placed a slow kiss on my forehead. Each moment of that kiss brings me healing. It was a kiss that I had never seen or experienced. I brought his lips down to my mouth. The electricity that I was expecting did not come. Instead it was replaced with the feeling of love and safety.
"Bella, when my eyes met yours we became something stronger. It was our souls marrying at that moment. I will be whatever you want me to be. A brother, friend, more"
"Sam. I have a brother in Seth. I have many opportunities for friends in the pack." I felt my body click into the role I wanted in this imprint.
"Does that mean?" Sam's eyes seemed to light up.
"Sam. I don't know about you. For me, I never kiss friends the way I kiss you" I joked.
"Bella, I need you to say it. I don't want to force you to be my mate. I want you to have the choice" Sam's eyes shown honestly.
"Do you want to be my mate, Sam?" I also did not want to force him to shack up with me. As he just saw, I was obviously a broken imprint. This was the first decision I was able to make on my own. Selfishly not thinking of Renee, and how I was going home to Phoenix soon.
"You are it for me Bella. I will not want another. I will live beside you however you want me. For the rest of our lives" Sam smiled as he spoke.
"Then I want you beside me. As my other half." I smiled.
Sam kissed me hungrily. He pushed me down on my back on the rocks. I felt a rush of excitement, my body wanted him to take me right here. I started playing with his shirt trying to undress him slowly. Sam growled against my mouth.
"Bella. You tempt me to take you right here. I would want nothing more. I do think our first time should be in my bed. That way I don't have to worry about people seeing you cum undone."
"Take me to bed then" I spoke breathlessly. I wanted to live in this new true love bliss a moment longer. The limited time seemed to drag on my very being, I wanted to experience everything with Sam. It was the least I could do as an imprint before going home to Renee.
Sam let out a needy noise. "I can't yet. You need to go be a good daughter. It's Clearwater family movie night."
I felt myself grow needy under his touch. He breathed me deep before pulling us both to our feet. Sam's hands never left my body as we walked towards the house.
Seth walked out the front door. He opened the passenger side of an old blue station wagon.
"I will see you soon" Sam kissed me deeply before letting me get into the passenger seat.
As we drove away I felt the pain of losing Sam. Rubbing my chest caused me slight release.
"It gets easier. Leah could only be without Jake for an hour max in the beginning. Now when they are busy they can go eight hours." Seth tried to cheer me up.
"Seth. I am going to need to go a lot longer than them." I voiced my fear.
"What do you mean?" Seth's eyebrows bunched together.
"Did you forget? I am only here for the wedding. Then I have to go back to my Mom's" I reminded him. It made the pain in my heart hurt more.
"You can't go. Not now that you are imprinted!" Seth said the words I hoped would be true.
"Maybe. Best case, I would be gone for a week, my mom deserves to be told in person." I let Seth know my fear.
I could feel the energy in the car drop as Seth processed what I was trying to forget. Even if Sam is the other part of my soul, I will only have this small time with him. I pushed that thought aside, needing to focus on my feelings for Sam and the joy of having him in my life right now.
"Can you do your favourite brother a favour?"
"Seth you are both my favourite and only brother" I smiled at him.
"When you and Sam do have intimate relations" Seth smirks, obviously amused with his wording "please don't do it in the common spaces. I would really like to play Xbox without smelling that."
I laughed "I will try my best"
"Try?! Really just try? I would guarantee it would not happen if it was on the other foot."
I gave Seth a questioning look.
"Okay. I guess I also couldn't guarantee. I guess if you get the option of location, take it to his room."
"Deal" I smiled at Seth.
I couldn't take my mind off Sam. How was I going to go home after feeling this bond?
Lights glowed from inside the house. It looked almost like a lighthouse on the coast. The light being that of love and protection.
Seth held my hand as we walked into the house. Charlie and Sue sat in front of the TV. A big bowl of popcorn between them. Seth grabbed the other huge bowl of popcorn off the counter. I followed him to the other couch.
"Friends night ran long?" Charlie asked.
"Yeah. It was fun. Especially after the siblings mopped everyone in Volleyball." Seth happily reported.
I smiled along, sharing the bowl of popcorn with Seth.
"Leah is out with Jacob tonight, so I think it is just us for family movie night" Sue smiled.
Internally, I thought I knew the reason. Sam did not consider Seth a threat. Maybe he considered Jacob. Leah wouldn't be a threat, since Seth is not. My head spun as I tried to figure this all out.
I looked blankly at the screen watching the pictures but not following the story. With each pump of my heart I felt my attachment to Sam. Every moment, I felt the line that connected our souls. The bond was alive and well each time I thought of it.
"That was a great film" Charlie smiled at the ending.
"Yeah, it was good," Seth agreed.
I nodded "It was so good I could watch it again someday." Luckily, no one questioned me on what actually occurred on the screen. My entire body was coming to the same conclusion throughout the movie. I needed to have sex with Sam before Charlie and Sue's wedding. That way no one would get hurt, his wolf wouldn't feel threatened.
Getting up, I grabbed the empty bowl that Seth and I had used. Emptying out the unpopped kernels, I started scrubbing it in the sink. Sue came up beside me. After I rinsed the bowl, she took it to dry. I grabbed the other bowl, the one Charlie and Seth used, and began to rinse it..
"So, how are things going?" Sue asked.
"Good. I am really enjoying it here." I smiled at her.
"That is good. I hear you have been blessed by the spirits with an imprint" She smiled with an excited gleam in her eyes.
"Yes I have." I let the joy I was trying to quell flow through my body.
"My girl, that is a blessing unlike any other." Sue smiled.
"Thank you for cleaning up ladies. I am going to hit the sack. Bella, I am going fishing with Billy tomorrow. Would you like to come?" Charlie asked.
"Sure Dad." I smiled at him. Spending time with a parent was a dream of mine growing up. The thought of a few hours out on the open water with Charlie sounded almost magical.
"We will be leaving early tomorrow. The fish bite better when you get out on the lake when they are asleep. I think Billy was mentioning meeting at the boat for 5:30am. If that is too early..."
I cut Charlie off "No. I will be ready. When are we leaving the house?" I asked.
"Be ready for five," Charlie smiled.
"Will do. Can't wait"
Author Note: I am so excited to share this story with you! Thank you for your reviews! I read them during lulls in holiday dinner this evening! If I am being honest your reviews kept me sane as my mother asked for a grandchild repeatedly. I hope you are enjoying this story. Please, please, please let me know what you think! If you want a chapter tomorrow let me know!