"You have nothing to worry about" Sam kissed me lightly.
I bit my lip, not wanting to ruin this moment. If I could live in the bliss the bond was sending my way, I would. Nothing has ever felt better than this moment.
Sam wrapped his arms around me as we pretended to listen to the people talking. I knew all my attention was on Sam. He rested his lips against my neck, placing kisses on my exposed skin when no one was paying attention to us. Feeling the bond, all of his attention was on me. The world seemed to melt away.
"Ugh. What is the weird old guy telling Embry?" Kyle complained, breaking the moment.
Chapter 19: Generational Record Keeping
As Always Happy Reading!
Looking over, the creepy guy was talking to Embry. He had the same gleam in his eyes, like he was spinning more lies.
"What lies do you think he is spinning now?" Kyle asked me.
He must be on the same wavelength. We both knew who our parents were and that equaled four people who didn't mix.
"Should I go over there?" Sam asked.
Before I could respond, Kyle said "well duh"
"Duh!'' I broke out in laughter. The tension in my body mellowed at the small sound.
"Was that too casual?" Kyle asked.
I finally controlled my laughter, "not from you."
My thoughts spun. I already considered Kyle a little brother. If he was, would it be so bad? I felt the tension return as I thought of why I came back. The only reason I am here is for my father's wedding. My father did not give birth to me. If the crazy old man was right, I would have no genetic connection to this wedding, or to the man who provided for me.
Would the commenters at the party switch their language from that of estranged daughter, to one of illegitimate child?
Sam could sense the yo-yoing of my emotions. Each moment I went from happy to provide Embry with a family. Then despair around losing my own identity. Back and forth, the emotions flashed in my body. Each one clutching my soul, threatening to rip it into pieces as the other emotion grabbed hold. I was not prepared for either emotion.
Survival instinct kicked in. Years of covering bruises and tears in school came to the forefront. I bottled up the feeling, covering it, packing it lovingly away next to my childhood worries. Each one is just a little too explosive and raw for me to think of. I felt the glass bottle containing my emotion calmmer off the infinite number of others just like it. When it was bottled, and a cork was placed sealing in all the emotions, only then could I look at Sam.
His face showed that he felt every emotion through the bond. I hoped that he did not feel like I was hiding something from him. At the moment, however, I did not care. This was for my survival, not to hide this from his view.
"You okay?" Sam whispered into my ear.
His body caressed against mine. Holding me as if he could see my fragile soul underneath my skin.
"Yeah, I'm okay. Can you please go support Embry? I don't think I have it in me to do it right now" I admitted.
"Of course" he spoke like a vow.
Letting go of me, Sam turned to Kyle "Would you mind keeping Bella company?"
"Not at all," Kyle smiled.
I couldn't watch as Sam walked away. Watching, for whatever reason, made the bond hurt worse. Each step of his foot caused the band between us to grow tighter. When I pretended to not notice, the pain was less. At least, that is what I told myself.
Walking through the crowd, I spotted a dessert table. It had been grazed frequently, leaving gaps in and amongst the sweet desserts.
I spotted a forest berry tart. Snatching it, I tried to further distract myself from the emotions Sam was sending my way, focusing instead on the tart's wrapper. Each little fold of the paper drew me in. I examined how the shell of the tart seemed to pop out of the paper prison.
"So, you are the bitch" a female voice spoke behind me.
I looked at Kyle, who currently had half a donut shoved into his mouth. He froze at the woman's words. It would have been comical if I could see who the stranger was calling a bitch.
I tried to gauge if I wanted to turn to see who the words had been directed at. Kyle's expression gave me a worried feeling. Maybe the stranger mistook me for someone else. I had done nothing that would grant me such a term. I internally smiled at the thought of sleeping with Sam. He did turn into a giant dog, after all. If that was why she called me a bitch, so be it. Yet, who in the pack would be using such terms? Especially on the Alpha's imprint.
I paused. Fuck. I better not be feeling all important just because I am the Alpha's imprint. I would have to work on that. The last thing I wanted was to have strife with my fellow imprints. It's not like I was anything special.
Humbling myself, I turned to face the person throwing out accusations of being a bitch. Growing up in Phoenix, I had witnessed a lot of cat fights in my school. Not so often anymore, now that I went to a private uniformed school. More so when I went to the public school. The one with metal detectors, and huge chain link fences.
Looking at the woman glaring at me, I could easily picture her back at that public school. She was shorter than me. Her hair fell in beautiful curls down her back. She wore a top that accentuated her assets. The tight white fabric practically forced the girls to pop the seams. She paired the stretched shirt with a black miniskirt.
My skin caught a chill noticing how much of her skin was showing. The air here, even in the night of summer, had a chill to it. Maybe if I stayed here longer I would get used to it. Not that I wanted to walk around like she was. Back home, Norine had a term for women like her. They would often come into the thrift store and buy outfits made for toddlers. I smiled, internally hearing Norine's voice in my head calling her a 'dime store trollop'.
"I think you have me mistaken for someone else." I looked at her sympathetically. She was mad at someone, but the chances of that someone being me had to be very slim. She glared at me harder. Years of habit had me pushing my flyaway baby hairs behind my ears.
"You are the bitch who took him away from me," she spat at me.
I felt Kyle take a step forward, closing the distance between us. He acted like she was a real threat. I wasn't afraid. I fought girls both bigger and stronger back home. This girl was not a threat to me.
"I'm sorry? If you think Kyle and I are together, we are not." I told her. Starting to step aside for her to have access to Kyle. If he had a crazy girlfriend, I would need to set this straight now. Kyle started to step in front of me. Almost like he was going to shield me with his body.
"Fuck, you think that he -" She glared at Kyle "could handle all of this?" She gestured to herself.
"I don't know why he would want to. Seeing how you are acting, it looks like you can't handle any of that" my mouth spoke before I could filter.
"What the fuck does that mean?" She snarled.
Instincts drove me to put myself in front of Kyle. Sure, he was a supernatural wolf who would serve a fight better than I could. He was also a boy, and in the grand scheme of his life I didn't want him to be known for hitting ladies.
"It means go find whoever you said I stole from you, and leave the two of us the fuck alone. Trollop." I regretted calling her that name the moment it was out of my mouth. It was out of line. Kyle was in his early adolescence, this was not a time to tell him he was not enough. I didn't want this interaction to cause him pain in the future. So, I stood my ground as the other girl processed my words. I was beginning to think she was a little slow, until she scoffed.
"Fine, I will" she gave me one last glare before turning fast. Her turn was so fast I could see that she was wearing no underwear under the short skirt. Fuck. Heaven help whoever she is after. There is a tonne of crazy heading their way.
I could feel concern through the bond. I must have been sending crazy emotions at Sam. To be fair, I had forgotten he could feel them too. Instead, I had allowed myself to feel everything that was happening in the moment.
Strong arms spun me around.
"You okay?" Kyle asked
"Yeah. Who was that chick?" I demanded
Kyle shrugged "I don't know. I'm glad I didn't imprint on her. She seemed like a complete asshole."
I laughed with him. Kyle snagged a few more treats from the table laughing as we joked about the girl. Neither one of us wanted to seek her out for another encounter. Kyle found her annoying, and I knew it would end with blows. It would be better for us if we didn't see her again.
"Did anyone at the party notice that?" I asked Kyle
"Let's do a lap around. I will listen" Kyle told me.
Slowly, we made our way through the crowd. Everyone still looked at me like they didn't know what to say. Kyle made sure we left a gap between our path and Mike's. Not that I think the boy had a death wish, but whatever we could do to not help it along would be good.
No one at the party paid the interaction any mind, going about the motions of small town gatherings. They were playing lawn games and enjoying each other's company. The gossip groups didn't notice, to both Kyle's, and my relief.
"Well, that's at least good," I told Kyle.
He looked just as relieved as I was. "Yeah. If you are going to transfer to La Push High, I don't want a rumour to start now". He looked like a concerned puppy.
"Thanks. I don't think I am interesting enough for rumors, though" I smiled at his concern.
Turing from him, I scanned the crowd, needing to find Sam. It has been long enough. The tether that attached me to him was taut, I needed it to slacken. It didn't take long to see him walking with Embry away from the old man. Embry looked exactly how I felt after my conversation with the strange man.
When the men finally reached me, I wrapped my arms around Embry. He held me back. I could almost sense the tears that threatened to fall from his eyes.
"Sam. Do we need to stay much longer?" I asked. Between the man telling me he knew more about me than I did, and the girl calling me a bitch, my energy to enjoy the party was dwindling.
"Probably not," Sam smiled.
"Let me go say bye to Charlie, then we can go." I told the three men standing around me.
I placed a chaste kiss on Sam's cheek, running swiftly to where my dad and Sue stood.
"Hey, amazing party" I told them both as I gave them hugs.
"Thanks. It's a bit overwhelming" Charlie admitted.
"Oh it's you I get that from" I laughed. Renee spent hours in the midst of crowds. Almost like she needed the energy to breathe.
"Yup. Sorry kiddo. Unlike me, however, you get to go if you want" Charlie smiled.
"Sue, do you mind?" I asked.
"Not at all, you are your dad's daughter after all." She smiled. I loved Sue, she would accept me no matter what. Kinda like a mom should.
Hugging them both once more, I made my leave. I noticed the trollop making her way towards the three men waiting for me. Speeding up, I interlaced my fingers with Sam.
"You okay?" He noticed my antsiness. I didn't want any of the men to be in trouble for me tonight. I had anxiety around getting them away from the girl headed their way, knowing that Sam and Embry would not let me take control of the situation as Kyle had.
"Yeah. Just done with the party." I told him.
Without further hesitation Sam scooped me into his arms and set off on a steady run to the front of the house. I relaxed into his touch, loving every moment of it.
He helped me put my helmet on. Starting the bike, I watched the motor rumble beneath him. I climbed onto the back, hugging into him tight.
"Where are Embry and Kyle?" I asked as he turned us out of the driveway.
"They will meet us at home," Sam informed me.
That was all the information I needed. I took a deep breath of his scent, relaxing deeper into his back. I looked at the lights of the party as we drove away. The girl who called me a bitch was currently jumping up and down in anger. Each bounce sent her boobs threatening to break the top even more. She noticed my attention, flipping me the bird before we zoomed out of sight.
Reaching the house, my bones felt heavy. The emotions Sam was sending through the bond were confusing. He was flipping from relief to worry. Then he would flip from happiness to a deep sadness. Each moment, I was trying to keep my emotions positive without following him into a spiral.
The imprint bond was still new to me. Yet, I understood that I could follow Sam's emotions to change my own. It was like our emotions liked to sync with each other. Now, however, I allowed myself to physically detach my emotions from his. The constant change was giving me a small headache.
Sam carried me into the living room. We sat on the love seat. I melted into Sam, feeling the weight from the party melt off my shoulders. I was no longer Charlie's kid, I was Sam's mate again. I breathed him in, letting go of the confusion and slight anger I had towards the experience.
"You okay?" Sam whispered.
"I will be." I spoke into his chest.
The back door opened. Without looking, I knew it was Embry and Kyle. Both boys walked in and comfortably sat on the couch. I could feel their expectant energy. It was enough to make me want to bury my head deeper into Sam's chest. The world could surely wait another day.
"Embry wouldn't tell me anything on the run over." Kyle complained.
"We're going to talk about it here." Embry quipped back.
"Oh, so that means keeping your side to yourself?" Kyle sounded hurt.
Before the others could speak. I pulled my face out of Sam's chest.
"Kyle, he didn't mean it like that." I looked into his eyes. I could see the hurt there. Deep pain etched in the shallow lines.
"I think we should start from the beginning. What did he tell the two of you?" Sam asked Kyle and I.
I let Kyle take the lead. "Well this creepy old man said that he wanted to see all three of us together," Kyle gestured to himself, Embry, and me. "Then when Bella asked for his name he said" Kyle cleared his voice. In his best Gollum impression, he said "My last name is the same as yours' ". The voice I used was not his. Just, fuck, that man was creepy enough to be Gollum.
"What the hell." Embry breathed the words into a deep sigh.
"You can say that again. I mean, I have two parents, and so does Bella. The weird old creepy guy was just, he was just..." Kyle paused, searching for the right word.
"Our grandfather," Embry sighed.
"Bro. Don't play me like that. No. I am not a descendent of Creepy, Old, Guys' ' Kyle stated matter of factly. Kyle adjusted his sitting position. Instead of the confident one he had moments prior, he pulled his knees up to his chest, and despite his growing bulk he looked like the kid he was. At this moment, Kyle looked like a scared 13 year old.
"I am going to make us food" I jumped off Sam's lap and marched to the kitchen.
Quickly, I scrounged for ingredients. Was I hungry? No. Did I need to move my hands? Yes. Pulling out the baking ingredients, I started making fresh buns. None of the men interrupted, allowing me time to plop the dough into a bowl and mix the remaining ingredients for the filling. Cream cheese, garlic, onions, and jalapeños. Finishing the mixing, I let them sit in the fridge. Looking at my rising trimmer, I still had almost an hour to wait for the dough proofing to be done. I looked around the kitchen for something to occupy my time. Opening cupboard after cupboard, I found where the pack stores alcohol, cleaning supplies, and random kitchen crap. Each door offered new things to memorize. Each a distraction. After five minutes, I felt Sam's arms wrap around me.
"Love" he spoke into my ear.
I stood rigid before him. Feeling my feet slip and fall away from the stability I had moments before. Even when Renee was on a bender, I would feel more comfortable than I did right now. Because Renee's actions never changed who I was. Until today. Until this conversation. Until this man who claimed to be our grandfather showed up. I did not want to hear more. I did not want to be anything more in this moment, than Sam's mate, and Charlie's daughter.
Sam brushed the liquid that had leaked from my eyes off my cheek. I thought I was special to him because I was not from here. Maybe the imprint will break when I hear the truth. What if, in losing my identity, I lose Sam as well? I couldn't handle that. Not today. Not when I woke in his bed this morning. That would kill me, I could feel that certainty within me. If the bond breaks, I would break.
I heard a sniffle from the other room. It sounded like a mixture of frustrated and afraid. I had the same emotions when I was thirteen. At that time, I had spent a good portion of my time hiding from social workers in a room at the top of the local church. Renee promised she would be home for Sunday. Until then, I hid and ran, I knew enough of the city to stay out of custody, knowing that they would never let me go home if they knew I was uncared for. I did not need to be cared for, I was not a baby anymore.
Sam turned me to face him. Looking into his caring eyes was the break in the spell I needed. Seeing the love and care he had for me, feeling all the strength he sent my way through the bond. Every moment of worry and uncertainty slipped from my mind. Now, I was no longer a neglected child forced to age faster than my peers. Now, I was loved. I had a fucking pack full of new chosen family members. Regardless of what is said, I would not be abandoned.
"Sam" My voice cracked.
"Yes, my love?" He asked as he scanned my face.
"We will still be us after the news, right?" I thought I was sure of it. Yet I wanted him to say it.
"Bella, nothing will ever break us," Sam vowed.
I nodded. Not trusting my voice, I led us back into the room with the boys. Sitting again on Sam's lap, I waited impatiently for the shoe to hit the floor.
Kyle's eyes had dark red rings around them. Like the boy was silently crying. Embry's hair was disorganized this way and that. Between their disheveled appearances, and my need for escape, we looked like a sorry bunch.
"Can you please just tell me? My mind is coming up with so many conclusions, I don't know which one is true" Kyle begged Sam.
"Kyle, your father is not your father. The gene to turn wolf is not carried down either of the family lines of your mother, or the man who raised you. When you shifted into wolf form for the first time, it was a shock. I asked Billy to look into family lines, to see if I had missed it. Being Alpha of the pack, my first job was to predict potential new members. Those young people would be told the stories more often. Then, if they did change, they would have hopefully a better understanding of what happened. I am sorry I did not provide this opportunity to you, Kyle." Sam spoke softly.
"That's okay Sam." Kye paused, his eyes still ringed with red "So, who is my father then?" Kyle looked like a boy on fire.
"Do you know who Tristian Calvo was?" Sam asked us.
I shook my head no. The boys, on the other hand, nodded.
"Tristian Calvo was a member of Ephraim Black's wolf pack. His line died out years ago. What does that have to do with us?" Embry asked.
"Well, the old man today that claims to know who you all are is connected to the Calvo family line. Through marriage generations ago, the last name shifted to River. At that time no one paid attention to it anymore, wolves became a thing of legend again, after all." Sam informed us.
"So?" We all said in unison. The tones of our voices almost harmonized.
"Billy was looking through the records, and the old man had an illegitimate son. His name is Frank River." Sam paused letting us all absorb the information.
I felt sick to my stomach. Living in Phoenix, being illegitimate is not something you think about. If what Sam was saying was true, then this might be a huge issue. Would Charlie keep me under his family line so I could go to school here? Kyle had talked about needing a family name to get you into school on the reservation. My blood ran cold as I wondered if Sam could be with someone who was illegitimate. Imprint or no, the impact of this decision would have implications. If we had kids, would they also be considered illegitimate, or would Sam's clean blood line tracing keep them from this fate?
Sam's arms held me tighter. I felt him sending reassurance through the bond. It warmed my cold soul a fraction. Each degree warmer, I was struck with the fact that I was not enough for him. Truthfully, I was not enough before this discussion, now I know I am not enough.
"What does this mean, Sam?" Embry broke the silence.
"It means that if you want, Sue can do a DNA test to see if what Billy suspects is correct." Sam offered.
"Does this mean my mom was unfaithful?" Kyle asked.
I looked over at the small boy. He seemed to be shrinking as each moment passed. Tears etching hard lines into soft skin. We sat in silence for a moment, letting the weight of the question lessen before we answered it.
A quiet chime echoed through the silent room. Fishing out his phone, Kyle's face impossibly looked to be in more pain than before. Lifting his phone, he whipped it across the room. I watched as the plastic and metal splintered and cracked against the far wall. Kyle stood up and walked from the room, visibly shaking. I stood, following him across the space. Knowing the rules of new wolves, I needed to know what he read on the phone.
"Kyle, talk to me" I begged him as he opened the door. I kept a good distance between us. Just in case he was to phase.
"I. I. I. I. I don't" his voice broke. Clearing his throat with a painful sound he tried again. "I don't have parents anymore. My mom and dad are leaving tonight with my siblings. Or, as my dad wrote, leaving with his kids." The shaking on his body grew faster and more erratic. "I need to go for a run."
Turning, he phased before he cleared the porch.
I faced the men still sitting on the couches. These are the two people who knew what was happening. They needed to be with Kyle.
"Please go after him. Make sure he is not doing anything stupid." I could hear the flatness of my voice.
Both men got up. Embry ruffled my hair before running out the door. He phased quickly as well, emotions affecting his control.
"Bella" Sam sounded pained. I tried to stop sharing my emotions, the last thing I wanted was to hurt him. Sam wrapped his arms around me. "Stop. Please stop."
"Stop?" I questioned my voice sounding dead to my own ears.
"I will go after Kyle. Please, share your emotions with me. I need to know you are alive. I need to feel what you are feeling. I need you. Whatever happens, you have me, for as long as you want" Sam spoke like a prayer.
"You can have me for as long as you want, too" I tried to fake a smile, letting my emotions travel through the bond once again.
"Let's start with forever" He kissed the top of my head. "I will be back soon. Promise"
I nodded, watching him walk out beyond the porch, stripping his shorts at the treelined before transforming into my favourite black wolf. Returning to the kitchen, I busied myself. Debating if I wanted to test my DNA. With my hands covered in dough, I knew I was living in painful ignorance. If I held on for longer, maybe this ignorance could become something like bliss.
Authors Note: Please let me know what you think of this Chapter. My week coming up is going to be hard for me. Your reviews and interaction with this story mean more to me then you know. I can not wait to hear what you think!