Kyle's eyes glowed with something he did not say out loud. He simply climbed under the covers and let me tuck him in.

"Are you comfortable? I haven't done this before" I admitted.

"Comfy as a bug in a rug. Thanks Bella" Kyle smiled.

I kissed him on his forehead "Sleep tight. Try to get enough rest." I told him.

Kyle yawned "Will do. Thanks again"

I nodded, leaving the room and shutting the door behind me. I flipped the wash to the dryer before going back downstairs to wait for Sam. I hoped he would not mind me inviting Kyle to live with us. If he said no, then I would move in with Kyle. Sam and I are both old enough to live on our own, Kyle is not. I would do anything to keep that responsibility off his supernatural young shoulders.

Chapter 22: Connections

As Always Happy Reading!

I opened his bedroom door, peeking my head in to see his child's body sleeping soundly. I stood there for a few more seconds, watching him breathe. The anxiety seemed to be nulled in sleep. For the first time since I met Kyle, he looked as young as his age. I heard the kettle finish boiling. As silently as I could, I let the door softly click close behind me.

I mixed the hot chocolate mix in the cup. The steam from the liquid bloomed into the air, covering the kitchen with a sweet smell. The scent of hot chocolate always brought me back memories of standing in line, waiting for our Christmas hamper. I swallowed down hard on that memory, not wanting the emotions it brought to distract Sam. I held the cup firmly in my hands, trying to soak in all the warmth the cup could provide.

Since Sam left this morning, my body felt chilled. The cup was not close to the feeling of Sam's warmth. Leaving the kitchen, I debated sitting in the living room to wait for Sam. The room held an uninviting weight since the talk in there the night before. Snatching a heavy blanket from the back of the couch, I brought it with me outside.

The air had the classic damp cold that chilled to the bone. Climbing up on the daybed I sat up, looking out at the tree-line. If I looked hard enough, I thought I could almost see wolves running occasionally around the house. I laughed to myself. Obviously, I was going crazy as I tried to force down my worries. Each sip of the hot chocolate forced my fears back down into my soul.

Sam had enough to deal with, and he did not need to feel me worrying. Focusing on the tether between us, I could feel his confusion and anger rising to the surface. Each emotion held tightly, but not hidden from me. I wished I could offer him the same kind control over my own emotions.

Years of hiding my emotions from everyone, including myself, has trained me to swallow down hard on feelings. The fact that I am able to feel as strongly for Sam as I do shocked the hell out of my system. I swallowed the last of the hot chocolate as my hold broke. My body threatened to overwhelm both of us with unsaid pain, fear, joy, and insecurity.

Reaching out to the bond and digging my mental barbs into the only emotion that was felt strongly enough to be a distraction, I took Sam's feelings of anger away from him. I pulled it through the bond, holding it like a lifeline. Breathing nothing but anger. Anger at Renee, Charlie, Kyle's parents, Embry's Mother. Yet, the majority of anger I directed internally at myself. I was a failure in this. I was the one who failed.

Maybe someone told me the truth when I was a child, yet my brain didn't understand. If I could only remember, I wouldn't have been blindsided. Tears stung my eyes as I tried to remember. The flood of bad memories threatened to break my spirit. I shut the heavy wooden doors in my mind. Each door bulged against the flood of emotion brought on by these ragged memories. The doors closed too slowly, as memories started playing in the centre of my mind.

"Bella. You need to grow the fuck up!" Renee was yelling at me. I might have been 11 at the time. I could see the open bottle of liquor on the table.

"I'm sorry Mom. I will. I promise I will." The eleven year old me cried.

Renee smacked me with the back of her hand. I could still feel the sting of the hit. It reverberated against my skin even now. Like my body remembered the pain.

I tried to deep breathe to send the memory back in the one way mail slot I had in the heavy memory prison. Just as it slipped into the mail slot, another memory played in my mind.

"Charlie doesn't want you anyway. You need to stay here. You look too much…" Renee cut herself off.

"Too much what, Mom?" In a bold moment, the 13 year old me yelled back.

I fucked up. The 13 year old me remembered it a moment too late. The bottle of dark liquor flew towards me. I ducked too late as the broken glass sliced my skin.

I forced that memory back in the slot, before I had to relive the memory of the blood that seeped down my arm that day.

My fingers slowly brushed against the physical scar that had almost completely faded from my skin. I wonder if Sam had noticed. Part of me hoped he had already, and wouldn't ask. I was forced to tell the most superficial of the abuse. Pulling the hard, engrained memories out might actually kill me. My skin felt clammy with just the two memories surfacing.

I yanked the blanket up to cocoon myself in tightly, trying to warm my body of the chill the memories left. With each slight warmth, I could pretend that I wasn't shivering. The thought of going inside killed me slightly. I wanted to be in the open air, not hidden like I was in Renee's house.

"You okay?"

I looked up to see Embry walking up the porch. The memories pulled me far away from here. I hadn't realized that he had arrived.

"Can I lie?" I asked him while holding in a sob.

"You can try." He gave me an empathetic smile.

He walked towards the daybed. I moved over, offering him some of the blanket. He accepted, climbing under the covers, instantly warming me in the process.

"I asked my Mom," he admitted. Looking at the tree-line as he spoke. I tried to read his schooled expression. It was too controlled to show more than a little sadness.

"And?" I also did not make eye contact. I chose to follow his lead and look into the distance as we spoke. I tried to memorize the bark pattern in trees as I waited for Embry to speak. Each line on the tree resonated with my soul. I too felt like I had deep grooves, luckily for me most were not visible.

"She doesn't remember who it was. Since she never wanted child support, she honestly didn't care. I think she is suspicious. I am worried about it now. Truthfully, I think she thinks I am just making sure I am not cousins with someone before I sleep with them" he sighed.

"Wow." I tried to sound as shocked as I could. If I was being honest, Renee would say way worse things to me if I asked.

"Have you asked your parents?"

"No. Renee texted me a bunch, but I left my phone at Charlie's. With Charlie getting married, if he didn't know I don't want to be the one to tell him, you know?" I shrugged.

"I get that" Embry placed an arm around my shoulder, pulling me into his heat radiating body.

"Why are you not at the council meeting?"

"I was. Until they called my mom a whore because, and I quote, 'if the woman doesn't know who got her pregnant, that is not the council's problem.' I might have started vibrating when an Elder said 'the council don't need to waste money on whoring around.' When they added that 'True Spirit warriors are stronger than that.' Lets just say I might as well have been in my wolf form'"

"What did they say next?" My voice shook with frustration.

"I don't know. Sam kicked me out of the meeting."

"Oh" that was why Sam wasn't back yet but Embry was here.

"He asked me to check in with you. Also to see if Kyle is alright"

"Kyle is sleeping upstairs. I think he needs to move in here. I don't like the idea of him being alone"

"Wouldn't be the first kid in that situation." He gave me a knowing look. "Sam lets me stay here when I can't go back home"

"What is your mom's drug of choice?" I asked him. Shooting my shot in the dark. I knew when my home was not safe it was because Renee had started her newest endorphin seeking mission.

"Alcohol is her favourite, but she won't say no to a little coke every now and again" Embry smiled "what's your mom's?"

"Renee does the gamut. I think her recent favourite has been pill parties. Alcohol makes her get physical, though." I admitted.

"I'm sober" Embry declared "not that drugs really have an effect on my body now anyway"

"Me too. I never tried anything." I paused trying to swallow the lie. I could not lie to Embry. "That's not totally true. Mom used to spike my drinks when I was younger. She said it made me more fun" I rolled my eyes "I blocked those memories"

Embry hugged me to his side, holding me together. I tried to stifle the bond between Sam and I more, not wanting him to worry. It seemed like he was already dealing with a lot.

"It will be nice to have a sober buddy at the pack parties. After the change, alcohol burns through our system faster, so the other pack members do not understand why I choose to not drink." Embry sighed.

"Embry. Did Sam tell you about the fishing?" I asked

"That the dads took you out on the truth lake, yeah why?" Embry asked.

"I felt pressured to drink with them. I didn't think about it then, but…" I paused.

"Hey it's okay. You are not your mom." Embry lifted my chin to look him in the eyes. "Even if you choose to have a drink with the pack, I will make sure you are safe." He promised.

I could see the vow in his eyes. Embry would not let me get carried away with substances. If I did, Embry would keep me safe until I sobered up.

"Each sip of the beer on the lake felt good. The fog would stop clinging to my throat with each sip. I don't want to be my mom." I could hear the plea in my own voice.

"You can't become Renee. My mom knew her. I asked, apparently our moms used to party together. She sounds nothing like you. I would consider my mother immature. You are not as immature as our mothers. Fuck. Would you still be around today if you had been immature? I know I would have died years ago, if I didn't grow up fast" Embry's voice shook at the admission.

"I would have died too" I exhaled deeply.

The porch doors opened quietly. Kyle, dressed in his pjs, stepped out into the summer air. He still had sleep clung to his expression.

"We need to stop him from growing up too fast." I whispered quietly to Embry.

He nodded.

"What are you guys doing out here?" Kyle yawned. His lean body stretching, trying to shake off the reminisce of sleep.

I opened the blanket on my other side. Kyle took the offer walking around the bed he climbed under the covers.

"It was too nice a day to stay inside." I told him.

"Oh really? That's why you are under a heavy blanket?" Kyle teased

"I'm not used to the cold. I was practically freezing before Embry showed up." I smiled at the young boy.

"How did the council meeting go?" Kyle asked.

"Don't know. I got kicked out," Embry smiled. The sting of getting kicked out had done some damage to his pride.

"Dang! wish I could have gone" Kyle laughed "I would have loved to see you getting tossed out"

I pushed Kyle lightly. "Be nice. At least Embry was invited. Now we lost the meeting spy"

"Yeah, the meeting spy lost the battle today," Embry laughed.

"I will take that as the council was being disrespectful. Embry is the defender of respect. At least, that is what Quil told me" Kyle's voice was happy and bouncy.

I watched Embry's cheeks light up with slight colour as he processed what Kyle had said. I made a mental note to compliment Embry more. If his mom was as like mine as she thought, I knew Embry did not grow up with compliments. I sure as hell didn't.

The forest seemed to glow back at us as we all cuddled under the blanket. I knew the boys did not need the warmth it provided. Truthfully, I did not need it either now that the two of them had sat next to me. Their warmth radiated, soothing the chill that was currently infesting my body. However, I could not bring myself to move the blanket. It connected us physically, like the way our blood might if it matched. Even if the tests came out that one of us was not a part of this sibling group, I could feel the familial bonds shaping.

"So, if we are not siblings…" Kyle broke the silence. It was like the boy had been reading my mind.

"Yeah?" Embry casually responded.

"Can we still be something?" Kyle's voice cracked. I could hear the need for him to be connected to us. His own family abandoned him.

"Kyle. You will always be connected to me no matter what the test says" I vowed. In my heart, I knew that was true. It was not only true that I would not let this child sleep in his abandoned house, It was also true that I would fight for him like a family member should.

"Kyle, you are a part of the pack. Nothing can take that away from you. Even if you chose to stop phasing and move to Timbuktu, you would be my brother." Embry's words brought water to both Kyle and my eyes.

"Thanks" Kyle let out a small sob.

I pulled both the boys closer to me. Luckily they helped me, moving their huge frames closer. I took comfort in having both of them next to me. Whatever Sam was going to say when he came home couldn't break the bonds I could feel forming.

We watched the forest, waiting for the council meeting to end. Slowly, the sun moved across the sky. I felt myself getting antsy, I needed to move. My body felt like it was stuck in a chair. I wiggled, trying to get comfortable. Each shift in motion caused me to feel like I was stuck.

"You okay?" Kyle asked.

"No. I feel like I am stuck in my seat. Almost like I am being lectured at" I said as I wiggled.

"Well let's get you up. Sam always gets a bit wiggly when council meetings run long. I am not surprised that his antsiness is traveling through the bond." Embry said as he stood up.

Embry held his hand out to me. I took it, feeling the rush of colder air as he lifted me out of the daybed. I thanked him, heading into the house. I still could not bring myself to sit in the living room. Walking to the kitchen, I looked for something that I could make.

"Do you think the council meeting is almost done?" I asked.

Embry looked at the clock. I followed his gaze, and realized that Sam had been gone for close to four hours now. How long did council meetings last? If this is the common length, I might have to pack Sam with some snacks.

"They should be almost done. It is running longer than usual" Kyle looked at Embry to confirm. He nodded.

"Will they be hungry?" I asked.

Both boys laughed. Kyle doubled over, Embry wiped moisture out of his eyes.

"Bella. We are always hungry" Embry cleared his throat.

With that, I grabbed the ingredients I needed. Embry caught on to what I was starting to prepare. He grabbed the ground hamburger, browning it in a pan. I prepped the shells, tossing them into the oven.

"Okay, I get it, I am the only one that doesn't know how to help. So can I help?" Kyle asked.

"Sure" I smiled at him "can you shred the cheese?"

He smiled, gathering everything he needed. In record time a huge mountain of cheese was prepped.

I gathered the veggies that we had thanks to Rachel. Tomatoes and lettuce, diced and piled high in chip bowls. I hope that the rest of the pack comes. It would be too much food for three wolves. Even if they gorged themselves silly, there would still be food left over.

I held all the hot sauces in my arms. Walking carefully to the dining table, I deposited them on the table. Kyle had moved his mountain of cheese into two heaping bowls. He brought the bowls to the table. I gathered the rest of the vegetables and delivered them to the table. It was starting to look like the gatherings that I had watched on tv.

My eyes almost popped out of my head when I watched Embry casually carry in more meat then I would have had in a month with Renee. Embry caught my shock, simply nodding his understanding.

Kyle brought in plates for each place setting. I couldn't help but smile watching both the boys finish preparing the table. If this was what the pack did for an after council dinner, I couldn't wait for a pack holiday. Maybe Sam would get a Christmas tree. Renee never wanted a tree. I remember sitting in front of the decorated tree at the mall, in awe from all the Christmas lights and decadent decorations. Renee would be off to do a drug deal in the dark corners of the too crowded mall, leaving me to inch closer and closer to the massive tree. Often, I thought if I climbed under it, would Santa save me and bring me to the North Pole?

The beeping from the oven timer brought me from my memory. I quickly pulled out the taco shells and soft tortillas. Embry grabbed a serving plate and helped transfer the hot shells to the huge serving plate. He took the overflowing plate of taco shells to the table.

I felt an overwhelming need to have Sam beside me. It hit me in the heart. I felt the pull between our bond, yanking it. Trying my hardest to convince him to come home.

Turning, I felt strong hands pulling me in. Breathing deeply of his fresh forest scent as he held me. Each second he held me, I felt his anxiety melt away. It had been a steady hum though the bond. As it disappeared from the bond, I melted into Sam's side.

"I missed you" I told him.

"Not nearly as much as I missed you" Sam kissed the top of my head. I could feel all his love for me in that kiss.

"Is the pack coming?" I asked.

"Yeah. We were running back together. Then I felt… Well, I am not quite sure. Did you pull me back?" Sam asked.

"Yeah. I could feel how you needed me, so I found the physical part of our bond and pulled." I spoke into his chest. Still not ready to let go of him. "Is that okay?" I asked.

Sam placed a finger under my chin, lifting my face to look at his. The smile he had sent instant happiness through my bones. As he looked at me I felt like I had my own personal sun beam. His smile warms my soul unlike anything I had experienced before.

Wrapping my arms around his head I pulled his lips down to mine. The sensation of connection and wholeness lit my soul on fire.

"Do we have a lot to talk about?" I asked when our kiss inevitably broke.

Sam smiled down at me deviously, I could see an unspoken plan unveiling in his eyes.

The pack gathered around the table. Only a few imprints came to this post council dinner. I was disappointed as I realized who was missing. Clare and Kim, the only ones not sitting with their wolves. I wanted to ask them where the girls were, but felt Rachel's eyes on me. Turning to meet her gaze, I saw her shake her head fast.

I wanted Clare and Kim to have the freedom that the rest of the imprints seemed to have. Yet, their wolves seemed content to keep them hidden from the rest of us. Sam rubbed my back as my anger threatened to break the feeling of anticipation that surrounded us.

"That was the longest meeting of my life," Seth complained. His smile was a mix of boyish and manly.

"It was an important meeting" Jarred sounded too serious.

"Important? Really? I think some Elders are trying to cover infidelity. That's why they sat so stiff the entire meeting." Seth rolled his eyes. I could tell something happened in the meeting that rubbed my little brother the wrong way. Hushed mumbling broke out around the table. I couldn't pick up on what any individual was saying. Yet, the pack seemed to be able to follow all the conversations at once.

"I don't think I have the full story," Jacob admitted. The room hushed at his words. Jacob looked directly at Sam. I could see the power in his eyes. They were not the eyes of a man but those of a leader.

"What would you like to know?" Sam sounded playful as he talked to Jacob. It was the tone I would picture a cat using when talking to a mouse.

"Why now? We knew that Embry did not know his connection. That was deemed fine, but, why are we looking into it now?" Jacob asked.

Every set of eyes fell on Sam except Embry's. His eyes settled on mine. I could read in his face what he was trying to convey. Embry was going to be here for me, regardless of what was said.

"Embry deserves to know," Sam stated.

"Sure Sure. I thought the plan was to wait until my old man gave me the council seat then we would do lineage. Why are we speeding it up?" Jacob asked.

"I did not call the meeting. The Elders did. Did you ask them why they decided to have the meeting today?" Sam smiled as he asked.

"Well. No. I mean, they mentioned an old man telling lies. Who did he tell lies to?" Jacob demanded. Sam remained silent, as if letting the question answer itself without his help. "Oh come on. This old man must have talked to someone here. As your future Chief, raise your hand if you were told something about your lineage by an old man." I could hear the command in his voice.

Sam held my hands tightly to my side. I was grateful for his restraint as a moment later my hand felt as if it needed to be raised. Looking at Embry I saw a light sheen of sweat coat his skin. Each second the pressure to answer got more intense.

"See Jacob, no one here is wanting to be witch hunted. Please dispel your command in my house." Sam sounded calm as he spoke. His hands tightly held mine against my hips.

"If they will not tell us, then what are we to do?" Jacob sounded exhausted.

"Why must we do anything? We all shift, that is a close enough tie to the magic for me" Brady leaned back in his chair.

"It is important." Sam stated.

I watched as everyone seemed to internally debate whether or not it was important. There seemed to be a divide around the table. I could tell mainly that those who met my eyes did not disagree with Sam. Yet, some of the men did not even look my way. I felt the need to get Clare and Kim's numbers the next time I saw them, as their imprints did not look my way during the entire long pause.

"I agree" Jacob spoke breaking the silence.

Shocked expressions dotted the faces that did not look at me. I heard Embry's breath leak out of him. Like he was holding an enormous weight that had only now been lifted from his shoulders.

"Does it even matter? The council voted-" Jarred started.

"It does" Sam cut him off.

Jacob shot him a smile that Sam returned. An agreement had been struck between the two men.

"So that is that. I will grab tests from the clinic and we will ask Sue to run the tests for us" Jacob kissed the back of Leah's head as he finished talking.

"What you are saying is 'please, my love. Please convince your mom to run DNA tests on the pack without council knowing'" Leah turned to smile at him.

Jacob kissed her deeply on the mouth. When it broke, he added "that is exactly what I am saying, my love."

"What if we don't want to be tested? Will you Alpha order us?" Quil glared as he asked Sam.

I felt Sam stiffen slightly under me. His arms protectively held me, like he was prepared to save me. Embry pushed his chair back slightly, as if he was prepared for Sam to hand me over to him. The realization of this had fear clawing at my stomach.

"Quil. If you do not want to know right now, I will not force the knowledge onto you. It will be always up to you whenever you want to know. It, however, is important that we test all members in time. That way we can fully understand the family tree. It has been the responsibility of Alphas to track parental lines for generations. This current pack is bigger than any have been in the past. Rumours surround how each of us is connected. Nothing is currently based in fact. As Alpha, I feel a responsibility to stitch each pack member directly to their source of magic." Sam spoke with reverence.

I felt my skin become electrified as Sam spoke with power in his voice. I needed to focus on anything else, or I would need to bring Sam upstairs right now. The thought of him using that tone on me excited my bones.

"I can probably get the tests soon." Leah seemed unfazed by Sam's speech.

Looking at my sister, she was the picture of comfort and grace. Each second around this table, I had the feeling that I did not belong. That without my imprint, I would not be here. Yet, Leah sat on Jacobs lap like she would be there even if he wasn't. She did not need Jacob to belong here. Momentarily, my soul wished I could say the same thing. Maybe knowing that I am connected by blood to this magic would give me the confidence that Leah has.

Authors note: I am so sorry this update took so long for me to publish. In my grief, I did not feel I could write authentically enough to give the characters the depth that they deserve. I do hope you will all forgive me for that. It has been so long since I have posted, I hope you are all still wanting to know more about my interpretation of these characters. I promise to post again soon. Please Please Please review this chapter. I love hearing your feedback.