Octillery here. I changed my name from montblancerk. I've been doing a lot of singing and professional theater so I've had no time to write in maybe half a year. I'm starting by posting some older work I did when I was with a different site. I'll be going to Austin and Japan in mid to late August so I can't write then. I'm also doing a summer opera and a musical in a week so I'll be busy. For any who weren't around when I was montblancerk I do pure comedy and pure romance/suspense. Nothing in between. This one was one of my most successful comedies a while ago. It is revised and edited. Without any further ado,
Survivor: Erky Edition
It was a warm summer night and Erk lay in his tent. He decided to eavesdrop on Hector and Lyn while they conversed.
"And I slaughtered him with my axe and said 'Better than me, huh?' And I grabbed his spleen and…" Lyn shoved her hand in Hector's face and took a deep whiff of the air.
"Erky." She said mindlessly and drooled. She scanned the area and pinpointed Erk's tent. Erk hid under a blanket as she entered my tent. He had distributed the pillows almost perfectly so it looked like he wasn't there except for one place.
She grinned and removed a bugle from her satchel. She buzzed a simple tune and within seconds all of the women in the camp except for Louise and Vaida assembled near the tent. Lucius was also there. The Erky-loving girls and Lucius cornered me. Serra, their leader hoisted the blanket off.
"Lucius, what are you doing here?" Erk asked, "You're a guy."
Suddenly the clouds parted and a 13-year-old boy was seen typing on a cloud.
"Wait a second, Lucius is a guy?" The godly figure said.
"I am author! I am creator! I am supposed to know these things!" He ranted. The creator known as Octillery ran out the cloud door. With no author the characters suddenly teleported to the fourth dimension. Nobody knew what was going on.
With a flash of light they were back. Replacing the giant creature was a huge ball of pink mass with limbs.
"Hi-ii!" It said in a cute voice. The clouds came back together.
"Help!" Erk screamed, "And buy Kirby Canvas Curse for the DS! Wait, why did I say that? Who's Kirby?"
The randomness stopped and the god figure was back typing. He sighed. Erk tried again.
"Help! Grand Theft Erky!" Erk shouted as the club carried him out of the tent.
"Grand Theft Turkey? So that's where dinner went!" Lowen exclaimed.
The I Love Erky Club or ILEC let Erk down to the ground. He was still hogtied though. Serra approached Erk.
"There's no point resisting us Erky. Except your fate." She said menacingly.
"Never!" He shouted. Serra kneeled down and kissed Erk on the cheek. Erk screamed in pain as the lip-gloss burned through his delicate skin.
"Girls, persuade him…" Serra said. Lucius nudged her. Serra cleared her throat.
"Girls and Lucius, persuade him…" All hell then broke loose.
At the end of the afternoon Erk came back to his tent, clothes tattered with lipstick all over him.
Eliwood shared the tent with him.
"What happened?" Eliwood asked.
"The I Love Erky Club." Erk answered faintly. Eliwood registered what had happened.
"Who's in it?" He questioned.
"All the girls except Louise and Vaida." Erk explained. Eliwood sighed.
"There goes my chances of a girlfriend…" he mumbled. Suddenly it struck Eliwood.
"I have an idea!" Eliwood exclaimed.
"That's a first…" Erk muttered under his breath.
"What if you only had to deal with one girl? We could play Survivor! And you'd be the prize!" Eliwood explained. Erk looked at Eliwood strangely.
"What's Survivor? And isn't giving a person as a prize illegal?" Erk quizzed.
"One, I have no idea! Two, apparently not in Swaziland!" Eliwood shouted.
Erk sighed.
"And where is this Swaziland?" Erk asked.
"I just made that up!" Eliwood explained.
Note: I do not mean to offend anybody in Swaziland. I just picked a random place. I'm sure selling people is illegal there. I don't even know what Swaziland is like (I think it's in Africa). For purposes of the fan fiction only, I am pretending it is a tropical island.
Otherwise, any feedback is appreciated. But please don't flame.