The fever's gone down a bit. I was barely there when I wrote that last entry. I just reread it and I feel sick in the stomach. There's not a trace of him left.

I thought I'd gotten over this. I thought I'd accepted it. I thought I'd forgotten.

No.

I don't forget anything.

If I could just cut out all these bad memories, I would get a knife and cut them out of my brain. But I can't.

I wonder if Lily cares that I'm sick. "Aw, Lia, you're sick? You poor thing." Yeah, what a great best friend. Then she left.

On a date with James? Ugh, reminds of Sirius. What a jerk – he didn't care about me at all – all he wanted was...

Darn... is there a single student in this school who is male but not perverted? Or at least can acknowledge a girl's existence besides her body?

Darn. I think Lily was right. "Carry on an intelligent conversation" is what matters.

But he needs to be hot too.

And he needs to think I am too. That just can't be all he thinks about me.

Lia, you'll never get married at this rate.