Should I tell? Should I tell?

I want to tell.

But I don't.

I want to tell, but I don't want to say it. I just want someone to be aware of it and be my protector. But not know what happened.

But even if I tell just one person, how would I know that she wouldn't tell more? How would I know the whole school wouldn't know? And it would get back to... him.

Absolutely not.

Even if he vanished forever (I pray for that day!), the whole school knowing? No way. It was terrible. It was a betrayal of my self and having anyone knowing about it would make it worse.

I would be judged. I would be pitied. Blamed. Scorned.

It wasn't my fault. I didn't ask for it.

But it's true that I never told on him. It's been three years and I still can't talk about it. Damn him. Damn him to hell.

I can just imagine running into Azim's arms and sobbing to him what happened. His face hardening with anger – anger at him – but gently comforting me. My protector.

I would never ever be able to tell my parents. Ever.

Dahlia! How was your year at Hogwarts?

Oh fine. How are you? Oh, by the way, something happened to me that I have to tell you...

What is it, Dahlia?

This boy...

No. No. No. No. No.