Dahlia, Dahlia. What happened to you? I just recalled a dream from when I was five or so and spent the afternoon remembering when I was little.

Now I look at myself.

I was such an innocent happy child. Content with my mama, abi, and brother. Four people. It was a perfect family. A perfect childhood.

I remember when I was six, worrying how I would get married. I worried about it because we would have to kiss. How scary. And in front of all those people too. As for having children – oh it was unnecessary – we'd just adopt.

I laugh at myself. A harsh laugh, tearing my throat.

I planned to be a virgin my whole life, apparently. What a joke. I couldn't even last till age fifteen.

Well, that wasn't my choice. I probably wouldn't have lost it so early if it weren't for that awful incident. But not too much later.

Exhale slowly. Once it was gone, I didn't care any more. I wasn't even careful. Dahlia, Dahlia, where is that little girl who cried when she dropped her ice-cream? No, I had no shame. I was stupid. Very stupid, but lucky. No life-changing decisions to make.

Oh I threw myself at every guy's head. Had no limit, couldn't say no.

That Dahlia would have been good for Sirius.