Revelations in Babylon

by Baliansword

Hephaestion can no longer hold in the knowledge of Alexander’s unfaithfulness one night after Alexander has had too much to drink with a fever.

Title: "Revelations in Babylon"

Author: Baliansword

Rating: T for Teen

Type: One Shot

Pairings: None really

Summary: Hephaestion can no longer hold in the knowledge of Alexander's unfaithfulness one night after Alexander has had too much to drink with a fever.

Warnings: None, just some emotions

A/N: Hey everyone, here is the newest thing I have stormed up in my head. As always, I love reviews, because they let me know how I'm connecting with my audience.

Dedication: For Mary; I do know, I have a theme.

H/N: This story takes place after Alexander and his men have been in Babylon for about two months.

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Light filled the room and shone off of inlaid gold from the walls to the chairs. Each color was rich and alive with new life. Of all the placed in the world it was here that all seemed well enough. Tonight was no exception. Music played all throughout the palace. Yet it was in the grand dining hall that the banquet was held. Drinks were passed around the room and there was laughter and joy as well. It seemed all too perfect. There was, however, one problem in all of this. Alexander, for whom this party was truly being held, was already sick with a fever. Add a fever to the amount of wine he had already consumed, and all knew they had a disaster waiting to happen.

"Alexander," Hephaestion warned as he placed his hand over the king's. Alexander pulled his hand away but continued to drink. Hephaestion knew that he had no choice but to sit back. Which is what he did in fact do. He sat down, as he had been, and watched as those around him grew intoxicated. He wondered what it would be like to be like them. If he did not have to care so much for the well-being of Alexander, could he too drink as they did and enjoy life as they did? It seemed that they all held nothing back, whereas he did. He had to remain sober though, and always had, because he knew that Alexander would not. There was no one else to protect him if he was not there.

The party continued for some time. Only after hours of meaningless conversation and dastardly behavior did Alexander begin to wan in spirit. He was soon sitting next to Hephaestion on the couch. Hephaestion glanced at him and knew that at any moment something terrible could happen. It happened all too soon though when Bagoas walked into the room. Never had Hephaestion denied that he was beautiful, for what he was. His long hair fell in such a way that he looked close to divine and his eyes were large and always searching for answers. Yet his presence was still very disturbing.

"Alexander," Cleitus' voice bellowed throughout the room. All seemed to stop what they were doing and look in his direction. Hephaestion already knew that no good could come of this. There was tension amongst all the men when it came to Bagoas. For once, it was not on him, which was fine at first. But after recent events, he'd rather go back to being shunned for being Athenian.

"Here is your boy," Cleitus continued. "He has come to make himself known."

"How about you give him a kiss," Cassander then added, only adding heat to the flames. Alexander was ignoring them for he most part. However, this could only go on for so long. Hephaestion knew this, knew that Alexander was going to lose himself at any moment, and took the opportunity to stop him before he did. Hephaestion rose, and pulled him up by the elbow. Alexander almost fell, just trying to get to his feet, but he was fine when Hephaestion caught him.

"Watch your mouth," Alexander ordered Cleitus. "Some day, you too will have a boy that looks up to you. Yet, if you go on like this, perhaps not."

"Let's go now," Hephaestion said as he led Alexander out of the room. Alexander was a bit of trouble though. He did not want to leave and made that apparent. He cursed and even shoved Hephaestion. However, Hephaestion put up a gallant fight. It took him only a matter of minutes to get him into the hall. It was in the hallway that Alexander put up his best drunken fight. He immediately reached for Hephaestion, trying once more to shove him back, yet Hephaestion moved out of the way. He then grabbed Alexander's wrist and tried to pull him to him.

"I'm not going," Alexander said as he pulled his wrist back. Yet in his drunken condition Hephaestion overpowered him more than normal. He jerked Alexander to him and wrapped an arm around his waist. He did this merely to keep him standing, however, Alexander took it as something else. He brought his lips to Hephaestion, and kissed him roughly. Hephaestion entertained the notion for a moment before turning his head. It had been long enough since Alexander had even touched him, let alone kiss him. He did not his first kiss in such a long time to be something that Alexander would not remember in the morning.

"Come," Hephaestion said sternly. Alexander finally seemed to calm down. Hephaestion knew though that it was because Hephaestion was hoping for something more than he was going to get when they reached his rooms. Hephaestion did not have the heart to tell him otherwise. Besides, if he was doing so well at the moment, he did not want him acting up again. He pushed the door to Alexander's room open and let Alexander pass him going in. He then shut the door, and locked it, just so that they would not be disturbed. He also knew that Alexander wouldn't be able to get out of the room if he could not figure out how to open the lock, and at the moment, he wouldn't be able to figure it out.

"I'm tired," Alexander said after a moment. He collapsed on his bed, and Hephaestion pulled a chair up next to the bed. He then sat down and let out a breath of air. Alexander was staring up at the ceiling, and after a moment, he reached up as if he were going to grab something. His hand then fell back down, and he ended up hitting himself in the face. Hephaestion reached over and put a hand on Alexander's forehead. His fever was breaking, yet his drink still ran deep inside of him.

"You can leave," Alexander said after a moment. Hephaestion merely shook his head as he stood. He found a rag and dipped it in a washbowl. He rung it out, glancing over at Alexander as he did so, and then went back to the side of the bed. He placed the cloth over Alexander's forehead. Alexander reached up after a moment and shoved the cloth away.

"I'm not leaving until you are asleep," Hephaestion then informed him. Alexander did not seem to hear him though. He was already thinking of something else. Eyes shimmering he then glanced over at Hephaestion.

"We will be leaving soon," he said dreamily. "There is still much of Asia to conquer. We have the time. The men are still fresh. The supplies we need are here. It will not be hard at all."

"You don't have men," Hephaestion replied quietly. Alexander's eyes narrowed as he moved his head, and suddenly he was glaring at him. Hephaestion reached over for the damp cloth and took it. He then went and placed it back in the wash basin. By the time he was coming back to the chair at the side of the bed Alexander was sitting up.

"What did you mean by that?"

"Exactly what I said," Hephaestion answered. "I said that you do not have men. You do not have men, Alexander. The men just got here. After all of this time, they need to rest. They are not going to be eager to leave Babylon so soon."

"They will do as I say. I am their king!"

"You once were their friend as well," he said coldly. Hephaestion sounded like a man holding on to his sanity with a frayed rope. Alexander would have known this if he was listening to him. He was not listening to him however. Instead, he was thinking once more about himself and nothing more. Alexander, on the other hand, was as drunk as ever.

"Are you saying that you do not believe in me," he screamed. He screamed so loud that Hephaestion figured anyone walking past the room would have heard. He, on the other hand, just stared at Alexander. He had not even flinched in the slightest. There was only one indication of his pain, and it could be found in his eyes; eyes that Alexander had not looked into for at least a month, if not more.

"I never said that," answered Hephaestion. "You know that I believe in you. It has nothing to do with believing in you. I just listen to the men Alexander, and I see them, and I know that they are not ready to go. Give them some time. Then you can plan your new campaign."

In one swift motion Alexander's arm moved, his hand connecting with Hephaestion's left cheek. Hephaestion's head jerked to the side, and remained there for a moment. Alexander just stared at him. Hephaestion slowly looked up, hair falling in front of his eyes, but said nothing. His cheek was read from the slap, but it did not hurt. It was his heart that ached. It was his soul that cried out.

"You don't love me if you side with them," Alexander hissed. Hephaestion continued to stare at him. It was as if that frayed thread had broken though. Any ounce of hope he had left was gone from him now. His eyes were no longer the same blue, and his soul was grayed over, and his heart barely beat. Again, Alexander would have had to have been sober to see this.

"Say something," Alexander screamed.

"I love you more than you know," whispered Hephaestion after a moment.

"What?"

"I said that I love you more than you know," Hephaestion screamed back at him. This was enough to silence Alexander, which was almost never done. There was a pause as Alexander just stared at him. Hephaestion, on the other hand, was out of hope. He was therefore willing to say anything. "I love you enough to put up with this! I love you enough to cross the world with you! And by the gods I love you enough to put up with your eunuch love affair!"

"What," Alexander then said, his voice faltering slightly.

"I knew," Hephaestion then said calmly, yet the anger was still there. "I knew then, and I know now. You think that it was completely beyond my reasoning to know that you took Bagoas into your bed? I know you better than you know yourself Alexander!"

"You knew," Alexander asked, his voice even softer now. He clearly did not know what to think of this. Hephaestion hated him. He hated Bagoas, and had for some time. Yet, was it because he had known, known something that Alexander had tried to keep from him.

"Of course I did," Hephaestion shouted, yet his voice cracked on the last word. There were tears in his eyes, tears that he tried to hold back, but at any moment they were going to fall. He continued to look at him. Even as a tear fell down his cheek, he looked at Alexander, who still sat there with his mouth agape. "I knew the moment that you looked at him. I knew then that you were intruiged by him, and I feared it, but I let you go. I let you go that night to his bed! I knew in my heart when you left that room. It was almost as I could feel it. The next day you stopped looking at me, and it confirmed it. You have not looked at me since the same either!"

"I understood it though," Hephaestion said after a moment. "You needed him Alexander. You needed him to want you, because that is what you are. It is who you are. You need the attention because you think all will forget who you are. You think you are going to fade away. I know that I cannot give you what you want, Alexander. I cannot give you the comfort in your heart that you need. I have tried to, I truly have, but I can't satisfy you!"

"Phae…"

"No," he screamed. "Don't say anything! You need to hear it because you never listen. You don't listen to anyone. You don't look at those of us that used to be your friends either. If you knew any of us at all anymore you would see that I can't take it here anymore. You would see that I love you, yet you shun me, and everyday I feel more and more like I should not wake. I love you, that is why I let you go to him! I love you so I do what you tell me to do! I write your treaties, and I make your plans, and I keep the men under control, and I shut my mouth when you want me to, and I look the other way when you don't want me to see what you do at night! But that does not mean that I want to!"

"I never meant…"

"You never mean anything you do. You just do it Alexander!"

Hephaestion knew that saying this wasn't going to better anything. He knew that by the morning Alexander would not remember anything at all. He knew that Alexander never remembered anything he did the night before when he was this drunk. Still, it was good to get it off of his chest. He was beginning to feel slightly better.

"Just go to sleep," Hephaestion told Alexander. He then turned away from him and left the room, slamming the door behind him. Only then did he reach up and put a palm to the cheek that Alexander had slapped. The skin burned a little, and he dropped his hand away. It did not matter, he tried to remind himself. It did not matter at all. But at the same time he tried to remember that he had to quit excusing Alexander for the things he did while drunk. He still did them, even if he might not have meant them.

Hephaestion returned to his room then. A great weight had been lifted from him. He knew, as always, that Alexander couldn't remember this. Nor would he remember it. Just saying it was good enough though. Still, the hope he'd once had was gone. Hephaestion closed his eyes, and wanted sleep. It came, but only after the tears came.

The next morning he woke, and the pain from the night before was still there. He tried to shove it out of his mind though as he left his room and walked down the hall. His eyes never left the floor as he walked. Others saw this, those that saw him every day, and still they had not questioned him about it. They said nothing, for they all knew. The only one that knew not was the one that had caused him to get this way. Hephaestion reached the dining hall though and sat down, as he always did. Alexander was already there. He looked up, and he stared at him. Hephaestion looked up and caught his gaze.

"I'm sorry," Alexander mouthed, for in truth, he remembered every word that Hephaestion had said the night before. He knew that this apology was not enough to change things. He could see it now, the pain he'd placed in Hephaestion's depths. This apology could never be enough. However, it was a good enough start.

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ENFIN

A/N: As always, I love reviews, so go ahead and leave me one. I hope you've enjoyed this.