I realized it last night. Remus and I were in the Shrieking Shack What could two teenagers possibly be doing in an old deserted house all by themselves? Having an intellectual discussion, I'd like to say, but I'd hate to ruin the reputation of millions of teenagers worldwide. Yes, we were making out. It was the same bed to which Sirius had brought me -- though at the time I had been too ill to realize where we were. Remus and I lay in each others' arms as we kissed. Rolled around on the bed a bit. 'Not sexually attracted' to Remus? Oh, had I been insane? He was wonderful. It was wonderful. I wanted more.

But then, I also didn't. His innocence is what I had appreciated about Remus Lupin. I didn't want to lose that side of him.

And anyway, it's only been two weeks.

That was what my mind told me, but my body said differently. A tingling so hard it almost hurt. I gasped for breath between kisses. I felt damp. Oh gosh, so strong, the feeling overwhelmed me.

But this was Remus.

My body screamed to tear off my clothes. The bed is right there, it added. But I couldn't embarrass myself like that in front of Remus.

Creak of the mattress and he was above me, peering into my face with concerned eyes. "You're okay?" he asked.

"Yeah," I let out in a wisp of air.

"If you want to stop, just tell me."

"I could kiss you for eternity," I laughed. And he laughed. And my tongue met his.

It's so perfect. He's so perfect. He's smart and funny and not bad-looking. But none of those would mean anything if he were a jerk. If he didn't like me. Oh, but he does! He does and I like him! Oh, what have I done to deserve this? No, actually – what have I not done to deserve this? What have I not survived, suffered. And now he's here.

It's so strong that I have to squeeze a pillow to suffocation and scream into it.

I wish we were married. Right this instant. And that not my nightgown wraps around me, but you, Remus.

Good night, my love. Will I ever fall asleep?

Full Moon Poetry

Hands

Warm gentle hands

Skate over skin

Fingers

Slow tender fingers

Press and pry in

Me

Free, drifting me

Gone but completely here

Soft gentle tender

Rough heavy

Light delicate warm

Harsh sour

Sweet strong sweaty