Chapter 14

"Who tha heck are you?" John Stewart asked, as he stared at a man dressed in his exact uniform.

"Don't ask," Julia said, still hugging her old friend, "It's a stuffed up tale."

"Long story, short," Wally said, grinning at a twenty year old John, "He's you, from another reality."

"Shut it Wally," Green Lantern said, "It's okay; we don't mean you any harm."

"I ain't worried," John said, sounding like a new-age rapper, his hand moving around in Eminem style like he was rapping, "Shayera is here, you mess wit' me and the Bat she'll pound all ya'll friggin heads in, Busta."

Wally began to snigger only to be whacked across the head from GL.

"The name is Julia," Julia said.

"You really hate bein' Thanagerian," John said, Wally giggled again, earning another whack across the head.

"Eh," Julia shrugged, "What have you been up to?"

"Just chillin' and killin," John smirked.

"I hate when you say that," Julia sighed.

"You two seemed well acquainted?" Batman said to Bruce.

"I met him a year ago," Bruce said.

"How's it hangin Brucie?" John grinned, slapping Bruce hard across the back.

"I'm good, how are you?"

"Sweet as, baby," John boosted. The League all faced Green Lantern, who stood absolutely embarrassed beside the Flash who was on the ground giggling. "Watchu laughing at brother?"

"So should we call you Johnno or Lil'John, or Juju?" Wally asked, between laughter. He suddenly stopped laughing when he realised what he said.

"FLASH!" Green Lantern yelled. Wally eeped, as he stood up and zoomed out of the room. Or at least tried to, he ran straight into a brick wall made out of green. "You promised not to repeat that name!"

"You red-wearin' assclown!" John snapped, storming over to Wally, who zoomed behind Superman.

"Enough," Superman said, trying not to laugh. John ignored him and still tried to get to the Flash.

"You're nickname was Juju?" Shayera asked, grinning widely.

"Thank you very much Wally," Green Lantern snapped.

"Well if you didn't react like a moron, no one would have realised," Wally said, poking his tongue out.

"So what have you been up to?" Bruce asked, in hopes of changing the subject. John shrugged.

"Nothin' much," John said, "Just been savin' lives, meetin chicks, what about you?"

"Same," Bruce shrugged.

"You guys up for some night prowling?" Julia suggested. "Let's go to Gotham."

"Or Metropolis," Bruce said. "We'll never leave Gotham."

"Whatever," John said, turning to the other heroes, "Ya'll wanna tag along?"

"Sure," Shayera said, lighting up at the prospect of using her mace.

"Yeah, I'll tag along," Hank said, "Sure beats sitting around here. We should bring Don along; he'll stir up some trouble for us."

"I don't stir up trouble," Don said, feeling undignified.

"Yes you do," Flash said, "I mean who walks into a pub, surrounded by Irish men, insulting beer and alcohol?"

"You idiot," Julia muttered.

"I didn't insult it," Don said.

"Close enough," Booster shrugged. "What about the Black bar we went to?"

"That was funny," Flash sniggered, he then began to speak in a high pitched squeaky voice, "Rap is a very degrading type of music, both to men and women. It should be banned."

"I don't speak like that!" Don cried. Diana eyed him, captivatingly.

"What about that Hooters bar?" Hank snorted, "You think he'd never taken sex Ed before."

Flash and Booster Gold burst out laughing, as Don rolled his eyes.

"Why were you at Hooters any way?" Wonderwoman asked, "I thought you were eighteen?"

"Well," Don muttered, walking quickly to the door, "Oh, well look at the time."

He rushed out as Wonderwoman walked after him angrily. "Come back here!"

"I'm gonna go see Barty," Flash said, zooming out the room. Hank ran after him, to make sure his brother was okay. Booster Gold rolled his eyes and followed.

"I have work to do," Batman said, he turned to Bruce, "You coming?"

"No," Bruce answered. Batman nodded and left the room, followed by Superman.

"Where did Diana go?" Diana asked, she had been to busy searching the room, as many of the things inside where new to her.

"She went after Don," Clark smiled, "I think to kill him."

"No surprise," Diana said, eying him suspiciously. "Who are you?"

"Um, Clark Kent," he smiled politely, "I'm Kryptonian, like Superman and Kara."

"What's Kryptonian?" she asked as she picked up a pool stick.

"It's a planet, well Krypton is the planet," Clark grinned, "Kryptonian is the people."

"Oh," Diana said, as Clark grabbed another one of the pool sticks. "What is this?"

"It's a game," Clark said, "Wanna play?"

"How?"

"You just shot the balls into the holes with these," Clark grinned setting the table up; he took the first shot smashing the balls apart. "Your turn."

Diana nodded, "Do I hit any ball?"

"Yeah," Clark said, "until you get one in, then you have to hit the balls that look the same."

"But there is no ball the same," Diana pointed out.

"He means the balls that have the same design," Julia sighed, from behind another glass of whiskey.

"What in Olympus are you drinking?" Diana asked. Bruce gave John and Clark a scared look.

"Something man created," Julia smirked, "Whiskey!"

"May I have some?" Diana asked, as she aimed to shot a ball in. Bang. The white ball rolled across the table and hit the small red ball knocking it in.

"Get your own," Julia snapped, taking another swing of the drink. She almost fell over.

"What's wrong with her?" Diana asked, as Julia continued to sway in the spot.

"I think she's drunk," Clark said, "It's your turn again Diana, just shot in the balls with more colour than white."

"Okay,"

"Julia how much did you drink?" Bruce asked, Julia shrugged, as Shayera took the cup of her.

"Oh Jeez," Julia slurred, before slumping over onto the pool table just as Clark hit in a ball.

"Oh! Julia!" Clark sighed, as her head stopped the ball from going in.

"Ow," She muttered, as Bruce and Shayera moved her onto the couch.

"What is wrong with her?" Diana asked, looking at the red-haired woman with concern.

"She's just had too much to drink," Shayera sighed.

"It's alcohol," Bruce explained.

"Oh," Diana said, "I suppose she must pray to Dionysus."

"No," Bruce said, "She doesn't belief in God."

"What!"

"She ain't down wit' religion, girl!" John said.

"What?" Diana asked, looking at Bruce. He raised his arms up.

"Don't ask me," Bruce muttered, "I barely understand him, when he speaks normally."

Diana said nothing as she shot in a ball. Clark groaned, as she took another shot. She got that in too. And the next one. After a few minutes she had managed to shot in all her balls.

"Now hit the black one," Shayera pointed out. Bang, the ball fell into its hole, as Clark stood dumbfounded staring at Diana.

"Beginners luck," She shrugged tossing him the stick.

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"So, you're me, from another planet?" John asked his older self.

"No, I'm you from another reality," GL answered

"Slammin," John said, nodding his head in approvement. "So what's the future like, homey?"

"I said another reality," GL repeated, trying not to roll his eyes.

"But ya older then me," John said, "By a lot, homey."

"I'm not that old," GL said, "And don't call me homey."

"Okay, brother,"

"Not that either," GL said, "My name is John or GL."

"I'll call you Juju,"

"No!" GL said, "I hate that nickname."

"So do I," John said, "Stupid red guy. Who was that ass any way?"

"My best friend, Wally West," GL shrugged. "He has a big mouth."

"So if ya is my clone then West-" John stopped and raised a brow.

"What?"

"Wally ain't related to Kanye West is he?" John asked.

"Of course not!" GL sighed, "Don't compare Kanye West to that loud mouth."

"Man, what am I thinkin'," John grimaced. "Does Waldo have a clone?"

"Yeah," GL said, "Although he doesn't seem as loud as Wally. And his name is Bart."

"Bart West?"

"No, Bart Allen," GL answered, John shrugged, as Shayera walked into the room. "Oh, hello Shayera."

"Hey Juju," the Winged-woman smirked. The two men winced in annoyance deciding that Flash needed to be punished.

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"Hank, Michael, I don't think that's a wise idea," Don muttered, "You could be killed."

"Don't be stupid," Booster Gold laughed, "We'll be fine, once we do what we do, we get out of there quick speed."

"It's not like you two have supersped," Flash said, "Seriously I agree with Don on this. That's suicide!"

"No it ain't," Hank said, "We'll be in and out before any one realises."

"You know what," Flash said, "I'm keeping out of this. It's your funeral."

"We are not gonna get killed," Booster sighed as Wally stood up. "Where you going?"

"Kitchen, I'm hungry."

"You aren't gonna watch us?" Booster asked. "I'm hurt."

"So," Wally shrugged, "I'll be there for your funeral."

"Same," Don said, "I'll bring the flowers."

"I'll bring the balloons, and beer," Wally grinned before zooming out of the room.

"Hey!" Hank and Michael snapped.

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"Hey Bart-" Flash cut himself off when he saw Fire and Black Canary sitting beside Bart. "Oh hey girls."

"Hi Flash," The two girls said together as the door opened behind him. Flash turned to see Green Arrow smiling at him.

"Hey Speedy," Green Arrow smirked.

"I don't think your little 'side-kick' would like you calling me that, Greeny," Flash grinned.

"I don't think he'd like being called sidekick either," Green Arrow laughed.

"Who's Speedy?" Bart asked, "Has he got super speed?"

"Nah," Green Arrow said, "Other then Wally, Don and Superman, most people are at normal speeds."

"No offence Wally," Bart said, "But The Flash, it's a stupid name."

"It is not!" Wally said, offended.

"Yeah it is," Bart nodded, as the girls laughed. "Jules and I also agree-"

"Don't call me Julia!" Flash screeched in a girlie voice earning a short laugh from his friends other than Bart.

"Um yeah," Bart shrugged, "Well we think Justice League is a stupid name, and your costumes suck."

"What's wrong with the name?" Fire asked.

"And what's wrong with our costumes?" Black Canary asked.

"Don't get me started," Bart said, "Capes, tights, bright colours, black, it stands out way to much! It isn't cool!"

"We're not meant to be cool," Green Arrow said, smiling at the teenager, "Being a hero isn't a popularity contest."

"What's wrong with my name?" Flash said, annoyed.

"Oh just forget it," Bart groaned.

"Out with it," Flash said.

"I'm hungry," Bart said, changing the subject, knowing food would distract him.

"Come to think of it so am I," Flash said, "Be back in a minute."

He zoomed out of the room at quick speed, towards the kitchen.

"That got rid of him," Green Arrow laughed, Bart grinned cheekily.

"I knew food would shut him up," Bart smirked.

"Why's he taking so long?" Fire said, knowing Wally would have been back by now.

"Maybe he got distracted by a chick," Bart shrugged, "I'll bet it's that Beetroot chick he always talks about."

Black Canary started laughing as Fire slapped her across the arm. "Shut up."

"It's weird though," Bart said, "None of the chicks remind me of Beetroot, so I don't know who the hell he is talking about."

"Are you sure it isn't Beatriz he's talking about?" Green Arrow smirked. Bart lit up and nodded.

"Yep that's the name," Bart said. Fire blushed as Green Arrow and Black Canary burst out laughing. The door was pushed open as Flash zoomed in looking worried.

"We have a problem," Flash said, trying to ignore the girls giggling.

"What is it?" Green Arrow asked, "It isn't Luthor is it?"

"No," Flash said, "Its Diana, she's trying to kill Hank and Michael."

"What? Why?" Arrow said, standing up to follow Wally.

"Well the idiots betted on her," Flash said, as the men walked out of the room.

"What did they bet on?" Arrow said, dreadfully.

"The first to get a kiss on her," Flash said, "She didn't take it to well. Wonderwoman is trying to stop her but she's on a rampage."

"Did you try to stop them?" Green Arrow sighed.

"Don't blame me!" Flash said. "It isn't my fault their idiots!"

"Sure it isn't," Arrow said, as screams began to fill the air. "That's Michael isn't it?"

"Yeah," Wally said, as the opened the pool room. Arrow stopped at the door and had to bite back a laugh. Diana was being held down by Shayera, Wonderwoman, Supergirl, Clark, and a few other heroes as Superman scolded Michael and Hank. Julia however sat crossed legged watching the action, grinning like a moron as she was still a little drunk.

"How many times have tell you lot not to make these stupid bets?" Superman barked angrily. Hank rolled his eyes, as Michael looked away uncomfortably. Superman turned to face Wally. "Where you involved in this?"

"What?" Wally said, "Of course not."

"Did you know about this?" Batman asked in a tone that said 'don't lie to me.'

"Sort of," Wally said, gulping

"Then why didn't you stop it?" Batman barked.

"Well, Dumb and Dumber there wouldn't listen to me if I danced around naked, wearing your mask," Flash said. Michael and Hank snorted only to be waked across the head by Superman. "And what am I! Their babysitter?"

"Wally, you need to start taking more responsibility," Superman sighed.

"Oh leave him alone," Julia slurred, yawning loudly. "Just because he acts like how any man would. Besides, I think the princess merely over-reacted. I mean come on! It was a harmless peck across the bloody cheek. I would have kissed 'em back."

"That's beside the point," Superman said, as Hank and Michael exchanged grins.

"What point?' Julia said looking around. "I don't see a point? What about you Bruce? You see a point? Or maybe you Clark? I see a table and an empty bottle of whiskey."

"Shut up, Julia," Shayera sighed.

"Get bent," Julia said, as Bruce handed her another bottle of whiskey. "Oh thanks."

"Bruce! Stop encouraging her!" Batman snapped.

"It will shut her up," Bruce shrugged.

"I don't think she's over the last binge she took," Shayera said snatching the bottle from her counterpart. Julia growled in a large cat way, earning a look from Shayera, "You are not a cat! Stop growling!"

"Woof," Julia barked trying to get the bottle back, but her skills were struggling. "Gimme that!"

Superman groaned as he grabbed the whiskey and tossed it out the window. Julia screamed before jumping after the bottle.

"Don't forget your wings," Bruce cried. "Pop them out!"

"Oh crap!" Julia could be heard screaming as the League rushed over to the window. There was a loud thud as Booster Gold turned to Hawk.

"At least they forgot about us for the time being,"

"Tell me about it," Hank snorted.

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Next Chapter: Julia sobers up after her fall. Clark has a chat with Chloe and Lana. Pete and Superman have a chat. Bart goes on an interesting toilet break before Hank, Don and Michael visits him. Diana listens to a conversation between Batman and Wonderwoman. Lex and Julia continue to ignore each other.

Fallen Iceangel: So which heaven did ya fall out of? (Ignore me, I like angels way too much) Yeah I wish there was some slash in this too, but I wanna keep the romance minimal… I hate romance… I'd rather action…. That's why I like wrestling and JLU. If ya wanna learn more about the JLU I'd advise this site. http/ brilliant… As for other evil people, hell yeah! I'm thinking most of Batman's villains, and some other people. But I'm gonna bring 'em in last. Surprise the league… but not you guys!

Okay, adding a new chapter before Ozscott reviews is weird, but what the hell?

J'onn is gonna be added in about two-three chapters, once I solve the Lex/Julia problem… God they're killing me! Honestly I think this was the lamest chapter I've written, but I like the idea of a drunken Hawkgirl… Reminds me of the episode Comfort and Joy from the first two seasons… And sorry about John's accent, but I just wanted him to embarrass GL… Which he will do more of…

Who can guess who quotes the next three quotes; I'll give you a cookie per quote.

1. Hate to interrupt this special live performance of The Thing With Two Heads, but it's time to go to jail now.

2. Less talking, more hitting!

3. Nothing to say. I got a gesture for you, but my hands are tied.

Watch me forget who says the quotes by the next update! Talking about quotes this is one my fav so far…

Grundy: Birdnose helps Grundy, but Birdnose and her friends hate Grundy.
Hawkgirl: Grundy help Birdnose, Birdnose help Grundy, okay? Excuse me, Hawkgirl smash.

Hehehe, Juju… You guys remember the episode when Flash and Luthor changed minds… Flash pointed out that GL had a weird nickname before he joined the marines, I say its Juju… I know it'll tick me off!

Peace and Chicken Grease

Afro…