James Norrington was standing in one of the mansions many rooms. Outside the window he saw Will and Elizabeth. They were sitting on the grass with together with Jack. James liked to see that things, and people, were getting back to normal. Will looked a lot better now that Jack was himself again, he didn't have to worry about his friend anymore. Suddenly Will embraced Elizabeth and kissed her. He let go James could see her smile. She leaned her head against Wills shoulder and closed her eyes.

James watched the young couple closely; saw the love that was glowing around them.

Elizabeth…She was beautiful indeed, but he was glad he hadn't married her. He knew that he could never have made her that happy, could never have made her love him the way that she loved her husband. And he knew now that he had never truly loved her the way that she deserved. He had loved her, sure, been in love, but not in that passionate way, never for real.

James closed his eyes and looked back, almost fifteen years earlier. When he had still lived in England and the reason he left.

He had been engaged to a lovely woman, but a few weeks before the wedding she fell off her horse and broke her neck, she died immediately.

The worst thing was that he wasn't very sad, he didn't miss her much. They hadn't loved each other. But they had been two people that should be together. She, a rich noble lady. And he had been a handsome and brave lieutenant with rich parents. It was just meant to be, so the they got engaged because other people thought they should.

But after the funeral he just couldn't take it anymore. All the pity. He wasn't in morn. He just wanted it all to be over. And what had been even worse was all the other girls that wanted to be his new fiancé, a few years passed and the pressure on him got heavier. He felt trapped. So when Mr Swann accepted the post as the new governor of Jamaica, after that his wife had past away, James offered to go with the new governor and his little daughter Elizabeth.

Elizabeth…James smiled when he remembered the girl Elizabeth, what she had been like before she transformed into the beautiful woman he were now watching through her fathers window.

She had been only twelve years old when they had left England. A wild girl with a big mouth and a strange love for pirates and adventures, which wasn't suitable for a girl like her. But James had loved her from the start. He had spent several nights in the little girls' cabin, telling her stories about his adventures at sea. Mostly to scare the little girl, make her fear pirates and other criminals, but instead had she become more fascinated by them.

Never could he have imagined that she would grow up to become such a beautiful and amazing woman. And he could never have dreamed of her nearly becoming his wife eight years later. And that boy they rescued, he would ever have guessed that he would grow up to become such hero.

And I'm a coward…

The truth hurts, James knew that now.

People were talking behind his back. Talking about how Elizabeth had left him for a blacksmith. And everyone was wondering when he was going to find a woman suitable to wed…

James sighed and walked away from the window. He felt the bitterness grow inside him. He was getting older; it was time for him to get married. But he didn't want it to be like that! He wanted to marry for love. Find a woman that was perfect for him, an unconditional love. But it didn't work out like that for someone like him, James knew that. Only the poor people could marry for love, not high society. But then he suddenly came to think about Elizabeth again. She had married for love, sure people talked, but she was happier than ever. Why shouldn't he have that? Didn't he deserve it?

James sighed again, for him it was hopeless. He could never have what he wanted, what he longed for. So why even dream about it? He leaned back against the wall, closed his eyes and said, with a low voice that sounded nothing like Commodore Norrington:

"Is there anyone out there that could ever love a man like me?"

This chapter is so important to me and one of the few I really love.

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