"How long have you…" I trail off for the simple fact of he'll know what I'm implying…
And also for the fact that I'm busy with worshipping his silky neck with kisses.
I sense him smile and his fingers run through my hair. "Quite some time…"
"And how long is that?"
"Ever since-" His throat vibrates as he falls into a laughing fit. I sit back and roll my eyes, watching him laugh. I cannot help it; I smile. I guess he sees it because he stops his giggling instantly and stares up at me. "You… smiled… I've never seen you smile… smile more often, will you?"
"Fine." I lean back down and give his enticing neck a nip and a kiss. "Just tell me when you started feeling all this."
He smirked cheekily. "Well…" He began. "It happened after I found you and Kai… ahem, at it… you know I went to my room straight after?" I nod. "Well, I started thinking…"
I shift, folding my arms under his head and towering over him. He looks rather comfortable, but his cheeks are pink with embarrassment. I raise a humoured and inquisitive eyebrow at his expression but that only deepens the blush.
"About what?"
"About… if you and Kai got together-" I felt like snorting at the thought (and the fight for dominance…) but that would be too cruel… "then where would that leave me? Who would I have?" He looks sadly away. "I would be alone…"
"No you wouldn't…" I whisper. "You'd have me."
"Exactly; that's what I realised… but then I starting thinking about it in… in a different way… what would it be like to be with you? What would it be like to..." He looks so embarrassed now, he looks like someone spurted that disgusting tomato ketchup (which Tala loves so much) upon his face.
"To what? Come on Tala… I won't laugh…"
He snorts. "Much…" But he looks back, serene blue eyes staring into mine and dragging me down to drown within. "I wondered what it would be like to wake up everyday to see your face… there, beside me…"
He's been thinking about that since then? All that time and I've been oblivious…
"Sometimes," He continues, "whenever you and Kai were flirting and crap, I'd… hurt. It felt as if you were cheating on me, but then I have to remember that we aren't together; we hadn't even kissed."
"Mmm…" I hum, rubbing my nose against his. "But now we have…" I give him a chaste kiss as emphasis. "So, what is it like to wake up and see my ugly mug right there?"
He smiles. "You're not ugly." He whispers. "I think you're even better looking than Kai."
"Oh thanks."
"Oh screw off, Hiwatari." I snap. "Ruin the moment, why don't you…"
I climb off Tala, trying to ignore the sad expression that was directed at me. I quell the bout of gloom that rose from my chest, but I give him a (or what I hope is) promising look in return… I fail to notice the feral and mischievous glint in his clear eyes…
"Well, sorry." Kai replies sarcastically and continues into the kitchen area.
"So where Tyson?" I taunt.
Kai glares at me. "In the bedroom." He replies simply, pouring himself a glass of water.
I roll my eyes. "Spoilsport…" I mutter, referring to the fact that he isn't playing along with the whole thing.
But the next thing will surprise me for most likely days and weeks to come…
"Well, at least I'm 'spoiling' the 'thing' between you and Tala."
I frown. "Eh?"
"Kai, what do you mean?" Tala asks, standing up.
"You," He points a finger at me, "promised me- promised!- that you wouldn't hurt Tala!"
"And I-"
"And what do you do? You go behind my back and bite him!" He now points at Tala. "You hurt him… you could've killed him!"
"Kai!" Tala shouted. "You're being-"
"Listen here, Phoenix. I'm the one who was willing to die! Tala's the one who presented his neck to me to bite! And I'm not blaming him for anything; only myself! Now if you don't like me and Tala being together; tough! The only problem here, Kai, is you. Please may I remind you, also, that this is my apartment, and I can chuck you and Tyson out anytime I want; and you know I can do it." We glare at each other, but I back down, looking and moving away. "Now just… leave me alone."
I move towards my bedroom.
"Bryan-"
"Leave me, Tala…"
And I leave them in the main room, closing my bedroom door closed behind me, not making a sound. I slide down the door and my body shakes with damned tears which I do not allow to leave eyes like last night…
Last night…
Last night, Tala had been in my arms… all had been perfect…
Kai's not the criminal… nor is he bad… he's just the overprotective brother who defends his sibling with his life; I am simply caught in the crossfire…
I hear a soft knock upon my door. "Bryan? Bryan, please… open up…" Tala's soft voice drifts through the door. "P-please…"
I feel like I'm trapped- being pressured and squashed on all sides- by two… two… I don't know! I want to let Tala in; to reassure him that everything will be okay. But I can't; for fear of hurting him.
That's all I've thought about since that night around three years ago; my fear of hurting others… ironic, is it not? Even before the Worlds in Russia, I was called the Sadist Bastard- someone who enjoys the damage of others- and I lived up to that title. And then at the championship itself I hurt Ray… almost killed him…
When Boris shut me in the room with Ehoin, I knew something bad was going to happen… I was 'unconscious' for a week, but was actually awake for the whole thing… I listened to Tala… so why can't I listen to him now?
"B-Bryan…" I can hear his voice is shaking…
"Why…?" I ask hoarsely through the door.
There is a pause. "Why what, Bryan?"
"Why… why has he… why does he hate me?" I manage to ask.
"Kai doesn't hate you, Bryan." I hear him take the same position as I on the other side of the door. "He just… doesn't understand… doesn't understand you- nor me."
I do not reply… what can there be said?
"Bryan…? Is Kai right about one thing? Do we only have a casual commitment?"
"If you want it to be more then…" I trail off. "Tala…" I bang the back of my head against the door in frustration. "I don't know what to believe anymore… my head is screwed badly; I don't know right from wrong… but last night… I felt something that I have never felt before."
There is another pause. "Well, if you let me in I might be able to help you."
I snort. "Bribery gets you nowhere in the world, Tala…" I stand without a sound and place my hand on the handle. As I open the black door, I say, "but it just about works for me…"
And I suddenly find myself on the floor, Tala on top of me, hugging me like there is no tomorrow.
"Ack, for the Lord God, Tala!" I cry out. But I end up laughing. "One day, you are going to kill me with your hugs…"
"Hm…" His blue eyes stand out perfectly.
"So… you going to help figure out what I felt last night?"
He chews the inside of his lip in thought. "Well, tell me what you felt like last night… like, what did you want to do?" He pauses. "Apart from flinging me on the bed and screwing my lights out."
I smirk. "How did you ever know about that little thought… I felt- I felt like I wanted you with me forever…" My eyes lose focus as I think back.
"You know what you are?" he asks; I look back at him.
"What am I?" I drawl.
"You're one of those throat soothers." I blink. "Well, you have a rock hard exterior; but you're sweet; you're addictive; you help me; and you have that smushy interior that just makes me smile."
"Looks like I have some competition from the sweet industry then…" I mutter, rubbing my nose against his.
I want this to last… us having friendly banter and being close… but I know it won't last… not for long…
Sorry for the delay... fanfiction . net went totally freaky and wouldn't let me (and quite a few others) load documents into doc. manager.
Throat soothers XD i dunno where the hell that came from...
Reviews make me happy... if yah catch mah drift ; )