Chapter 12

It was 3 days after they were rescued when Jack woke up groggily trying to sit up, he blinked looking around in confusion. He was lying on his back on a narrow bed in a white room. He tried to sit up to get a better look around. It looked like a hospital room then he became aware of a drip in his arm and more hospital machines and equipment next to the bed. How did that get there? His mind was fuzzy, he had no idea where he was how'd he get to a hospital. There was no hospital on the island…the island? Was he still on the island? A panicked look crossed his face as he sat up too fast

Just then the door opened and a woman stepped into the room. He blinked again, no it couldn't be her he must still be dreaming or hallucinating.

"Jack, you're awake" She came to stand next to the bed, relief etched on her face.

"Mom?" Jack asked wondering why he could feel his leg ache if he were just dreaming.

"Yes, Jack, I'm here and you're going to be ok" She said smiling at him.

Jack shook his head feeling more and more confused. "Where am I? How did you get here? What's going on?"

"you don't' remember? Well your friends did say you were pretty out of it. And you've been sedated and slipping in and out of consciousness since you got here"

"Got where?" Jack started feeling increasingly frustrated This must be what people felt like suffering from amnesia like yesterday is just one big blank.

"You're in a hospital in Sydney, Jack"

Wait. What? "Sydney? How? When?"

"You don't remember anything? The plane crash… anything?" Margo Shepherd stared down at her son.

"Of course I remember that. I just don't know how I got to a hospital in Sydney?"

Margo nodded. "a cargo plane that had gotten lost in a storm over the south pacific spotted the island, they saw people flagging them a SOS signal, they landed and found you all there, you were taken to Fiji first then flown back to Australia." Margo paused. "According to the doctors you were in pretty bad shape if the plane didn't come when it did you might not have made it."

Jack had flashes of being carried through the jungle and being in a space that felt distinctly like a smallish airplane but he was too out of it to fully grasp what was happening.

"The others? Kate? Where's Kate?"

"The other survivors are fine, they're all set up at a hotel, they've stopped by a few times" She didn't elaborate on the woman whom her son had been calling out to ever since he was checked in to the hospital. She'd found out from a young man named Charlie who Kate was. The doctors had to sedate him as even in his feverish dreams he called for her and they actually had to restrain him once as he insisted on getting up to find her even though he had a fever shooting through the roof and no idea where he were.

"Kate" Jack repeated the name, "where is she?" He saw the look on his mothers face but couldn't quite place it. A nagging feeling of dread started up his spine.

"Mom, where is Kate?"

"He nearly yelled now and as he felt an iron grip of fear enclose his chest he saw Charlie and Sayid enter the room.

They heard him call Kate's name and knew the moment came to tell Jack that Kate weren't with them. That she was still somewhere on the island.

Margo stepped back as the two men entered they had already given her a quick version of what had happened on the island. That if it weren't for Jack a lot of them including Charlie himself wouldn't be alive today. She couldn't help but feel pride; her son truly was a hero. Somewhere along the way even with all the mistakes she and Christian made they had raised a son to be proud of.

"Jack, just calm down man" Charlie tried to calm Jack but knew there wasn't going to be any calming him down in a few seconds.

Sayid went to stood next to Margo and whispered to her to go get a doctor just in case.

She looked at him quizzically a big question mark across her face.

"Charlie where is she? Where's Kate?" Jack had difficulty controlling his breathing "you had to have found her." He had the distinct impression that they were stalling keeping something big from him.

"I'm sorry man, we were out in those jungles all the way to the other side for 2 weeks" Charlie said his face drawn genuine regret and concern clouding his features. "We couldn't find her..on the way back we…"

Jack stopped hearing stopped breathing he felt like he was in a vacuum where no one else existed. Charlie's words kept reverberating through his mind. 'We couldn't find her..'

"No!" He ignored the dizziness and pain in his leg as he tried to stand up. Charlie tried to stop him but Jack pushed him away. "Leave me, you're lying she can't still be there!"

Sayid stepped forward but Jack swung at him when he tried to stop him from getting up. Sayid ducked and quickly stepped to the other side of the bed, reaching for Jack's arms from behind to try and get him to sit still.

Charlie moved a step back to help Sayid but Jack twisted in their grasp

"Let go of me! I have to go back, have to find her; we can't just leave her there!"

Margo held back, standing by the door unsure what to do, she'd never seen Jack react this way to anyone. Just what exactly had happened to her son on the island and what did this woman really mean to him?

"Mrs Shephard, go get the doctor" Sayid said again when he saw her still standing by the door.

This time Margo rushed out the room to find a doctor.

It was several hours later when Jack opened his eyes again, the room was dark and quiet. They'd given him a pretty strong sedative to calm him down; he'd fallen asleep almost immediately. He had no idea how long he'd been out but felt drugged and disorientated. It took him a few seconds to clear his head and remember what had happened.

Kate

Oh God, she wasn't here she was still somewhere on that godforsaken island. The thought was enough to bring a physical pain to his chest. He gritted his teeth and sat up feeling for a light switch when he couldn't find any he just tried to focus in the dark and swung his legs over the side of the bed, he cursed as a sharp pain shot up his thigh. But he didn't let it stop him he reached for the needle dripping antibiotics into his arm and with a sharp pull he yanked it out. He hardly felt it though. The anguish and feelings of guilt were too overwhelming. He started limping towards the door when it opened and Eko came in. He nearly stumbled into the big man that just held out his hand to steady Jack.

"You shouldn't be up." He held onto Jack's arm and firmly but gently led him back to the bed. Jack tried to get out of the man's grip but could hardly budge.

"Let go of me? Jack said through gritted teeth. "What's wrong with you people? How could you just leave her there? I have to go back, I have to find her"

"Not now." Eko said calmly he helped Jack back up on the bed and turned on a light. "You can't just run out here, you have to get better first."

"Don't tell me what I can't do!"

"I understand your upset but this" he pointed to the drip pulled from Jack's arm 'wont help you or her"

"You have no idea how I feel" Jack said angrily

Eko just let the remark pass "We looked for her Jack, for 2 weeks we searched everywhere we could"

"But you didn't find her and now she's still there, still with them" Jack said bitterly.

After Eko left Jack laid awake the rest of the night, he turned down sleeping pills when a short redheaded nurse came to offer him some. He'd been drugged and unconscious too long. He felt like he was stuck in some horrid nightmare. How did this happen, he should never have let her go that night looking for Sun and Walt. He would kick himself if he knew it would help get her back. He had to find a way to go back there was no way he was just going to leave her there and go on with his life.