I hope everyone is doing okay and staying safe.

Big thanks to Fran and Mr G and Me for their help and support! (Any mistakes you see are my own.) And THANK YOU to everyone who reads and reviews. You're all awesome.

I don't own Twilight...

All three of them stare at me, astonished, slowly blinking as they process my words.

Once they do, they all erupt in a flurry of outrage and confusion.

"What do you mean you're not coming back?!"

"I knew something was wrong with you, Bella. Talk to us."

"Bella, think about this for a minute—"

"Stop!" I shout out, too loud for even myself.

I'm still worked up from their ideas of me coming back, and it definitely shows.

I wince along with Edward, who shoots me a look that says I need to calm down before shit gets serious. If that wasn't enough of a warning, the sudden silence in the house is more than enough. The tension in the air is so noticeable that a growl rumbles from my chest before I can stop it.

Edward squeezes my knee while the other hand continues to rub soothingly over my ankle the top of my foot.

"Take a breath," he softly instructs.

"It's okay, Bella," I hear my mom tell me from somewhere in the house. "Be calm."

Following their advice, I take a breath, feeling a combination of silliness, frustration, and shame at the fact I even have to do this.

I may have escaped death and can live forever, but so far, immortality sucks.

"Sorry," I murmur. "It's just … I'm not coming back. Not ... not yet."

Rose and Jasper frown, their expressions confused; while Dad doesn't look happy, he looks resigned, as if he had expected this.

"Why?"

This is supposed to be a question, but with Rose, it comes out as more of a demand than anything else.

"I'm just … not coming back anytime soon."

Rose rolls her eyes, her fingers drumming on a table. "That's not an answer, Bella. Look, if you're worried about people seeing you, don't be. You can hide somewhere."

"Yeah, you can be a stereotypical vampire and hide in the attic at night and the basement during the day," Jasper jokes, though he's still watching me closely through narrowed eyes.

Giving them a tight smile, I shake my head once. "No, thanks. I'll pass on that."

"But why?" Rose asks, her tone breaking at the end. She tries to cover it by clearing her throat, but she's not fooling anyone. "I thought you'd want to come back here. You'd be more comfortable in familiar surroundings."

She's not wrong; I do miss my family and my room.

I miss my bed—that I'll never sleep in again—and the familiar walls I've grown up with my whole life.

I want to go back more than anything.

My body tenses, readying myself to jump and run straight home. I'm not too sure where exactly I am, but I know I can find my way out; it's one of those instinctual things inside of you that's automatic. You could be on the other side of the country, but in your head, you'd still know how to get home.

And the quickest way to get there.

That's where I'm at right now.

All I'd need is a general direction on where to start, and I bet I could be there within a day.

The thought of going back there, though, knowing I could hurt my family or some random person on the street, is what stops me.

I can't be that psycho vampire that kills everyone they come across just because they can.

I may be immortal and a pain in the ass, but I won't ever be that kind of monster.

"I'll come back eventually," I reply, my words stuttering. "Just not anytime soon, okay? Let's drop it for now."

"You're being stubborn," she argues. "You just don't want—"

"I don't want to kill anyone, Rose!" I shout; my frustration and temper are high.

Edward makes a shushing noise, gently massaging my calf, and for once, I don't listen to him. I jerk away from his touch, a snarl erupting from my chest when he merely reaches for me again, an eyebrow raised in challenge.

"I'm a vampire now, Rosalie," I spit, her eyes widening at the use of her full name. She pales, her mouth dropping open in shock. "I can kill you; I can hurt you all, and I won't put you in danger like that."

Once more, the three members of my family members are silent, watching me with wide, unblinking eyes. Rose tries to speak, her mouth opening and closing multiple times as she tries to find the right words to say, but nothing comes.

I'm not sure there is something to say.

Jasper comes out of it first, pointing a finger at me. "I knew something was wrong! Is that it? You're … afraid of hurting us?"

"Yeah," I tell him, shifting as I try to think of anything else but the memory of my psychotic behavior from earlier.

"Aunt Renee is a vampire too," Rose inputs. "She didn't hurt us. You'll be fine. I know you're nervous, but—"

"Every person is different, Rose. I'm not like Mom."

A noise of frustration comes from her. "Well, you don't know that, do you? You haven't tried."

"What is with your pushing? Leave it alone. I'm not coming back until I'm sure I won't hurt you."

"And how would you know if you don't try? Just come home. Or maybe do an experiment with someone?"

Humorlessly, I laugh. "You mean find a random person and lock myself in a room with them? If I don't kill them, then I can come home? Are you out of your mind?"

Rose huffs, her cheeks flushing pink and her eyes drifting downward. "No, not exactly like that," she mumbles. "I just wish you'd try, and then you'd know for sure."

"No. Drop it. Please."

Just by looking at her, I can tell she's not going to give up. Her jaw is taut, her lips pressed together so tightly they practically disappear. Her eyes are narrowed, her nostrils flare with every breath she takes, and her hands are balled into fists underneath her folded arms.

I'm not really mad at her.

If I were in her place, I'd be pushing too. I'd be wondering why she wasn't home the moment she opened her eyes because if Mom could easily control herself, then so could anyone else.

However, the one thing she's not considering is that every person is different … and I am definitely different.

Jasper stares along worriedly, no doubt knowing this won't end well.

"Bella, I still don't—"

"Stop! I'm not doing it, okay? When I was hunting earlier, you know what I did? I attacked Mom and the Cullen's! I have some freaky ass power that rendered them immobile, and I was going to kill them. You know why? Because they were too close to me. They were too close to me and my food. Imagine how I'll be when I'm around humans … around all of you. No one would be able to stop me, and I'm not about to take that chance, not with my family. Never."

By the time I'm done, I'm gasping for unnecessary breaths, one hand curled into the armrest of the chair, my fingers digging into the upholstery. The phone in my other hand cracks, and Edward immediately plucks it from my grasp, holding it in front of my face.

"Sorry," I mutter to him.

He shakes his head, kissing my temple once before nodding toward the phone.

Jasper grimaces, but his face and Dad's hold nothing but sympathy.

Tears fall heavily down Rose's cheeks, her breathing coming in a stuttering, uneven pattern. "I … I … what?"

Heavily, I sigh, scrubbing a hand over my face. "I didn't want to spit it out that way. I didn't want to spit it at all, actually."

Dad levels me with a glare while Jasper shakes his head, displeased.

"I'm sorry!" I exclaimed, throwing my hands up. "I know, we share mostly everything, but this isn't something you could help me with. And I didn't … I didn't want you to look at me differently."

"How differently could we look at you, Bella?" Jasper asks, rubbing Rose's shoulder while she tries to calm herself. "We already know what an insane head-case you are. Not to mention a borderline psychopath … but we love you anyway."

Dad flicks Jasper's ear while Rose smacks his arm, but I can't help but laugh.

At least there's a little bit of normalcy there.

"Asshole," I playfully sneer, the jovialness fading with Jasper's serious expression.

"Are you okay?"

I sigh, realizing that I can't lie about it anymore. More than that, I don't really want to. I don't my family to be afraid of me or look at me differently, but that ship has sailed now.

In silent support, Edward squeezes my ankle.

"Not really. I … I don't want to hurt people. I hate feeling all this anger and aggression over everything. I don't know how I'll be when I'm around you guys, but if it's anything like what I went through when I was hunting, then I'm not putting you in danger."

Rose opens her mouth but doesn't speak when Jasper lays a hand on her shoulder and Dad quietly mutters her name.

Without her saying anything, I know what she's going to say.

"Every person is different, Rose. Just because Mom was able to be close to us after her change doesn't mean I will. Honestly, I'm too scared to even try it right now."

"I won't lie and say I understand, because I don't," she says, a hint of stubbornness still there.

"Think of it like this; remember when you tried to cut out sugar and red meat, how when you smelled those cookies baking, you nearly lost it?"

"Nearly?" Jasper mutters. "It was like she was possessed. I wanted to lock her in the basement."

Rose and I ignore him, continuing our conversation … though he's not wrong.

During that time, Rose went nuts when she smelled those cookies; her eyes went wide, and her face got all red as she clenched her teeth, nearly groaning at the enticing aroma of vanilla and chocolate chips. She complained for an hour as she stuck her head out of the window, trying not to breathe in the tempting smell.

When Dad had grilled steaks for his and Mom's anniversary two years ago, it was the same thing, except she didn't hold back as easily as she did with the sugar.

She took my steak and ate it in under six minutes, I think.

Too bad I didn't film it or time it.

It would have been a viral hit.

"It's like that," I continue. "Only a thousand times worse."

She makes a sound of sympathy while Jasper and Dad nod, but I can tell from the look on their faces they don't really understand.

How could they?

It's not something they've been through.

At least Mom, Edward, and the Cullen's will back me up on my decision.

Maybe with their help, I can control myself better so I can be around my family again.

"It's that bad?"

Hesitantly, I nod. "Yeah. I wish I could say it wasn't me, that I wasn't feeling myself, but it was; on some level, it was."

"It's not you completely, Bella," Edward murmurs, his voice too low for anyone besides me to hear.

I start to reply, but he shakes his head once, mouthing "later."

Agreeing with a single nod in response, I give my family a small, tight smile. "So, now that that's settled, you two are going back to school. Rose, you especially."

"Why, Rose, especially? I'm smart too," Jasper complains, though it's half-hearted. I can see the small lift of his lips, despite the whine in his voice.

"Because you're not close to graduating early and going to college. Plus, you're a dumbass."

Dad stifles a laugh against his palm while Jasper makes a noise of complaint, muttering curses at me under his breath.

From somewhere in the house, I hear Alice mutter a few choice words in my direction too.

"Come up here and say that to my face, sprite!"

There's a collective laugh from an audience that grows in volume at her response.

"In a year, I will!"

I snicker, turning back to the phone. "Your girlfriend is scared of my magnificent vampire strength."

"Only for a year," she says, teasing.

Jasper rolls his eyes. "She's smart to be afraid of someone like you."

"Jealousy doesn't become you, Jasper. Back on topic; Dad, I expect you to live stream or record Rose's graduation and embarrass her greatly. I'm talking, screaming, yelling, complete fanfare that'll make it go viral. Make our family name become an embarrassment, so when she's out in public, she'll be recognized each time and consider therapy."

Jasper sputters, his face going pale. "Why? What is wrong with you?"

"Probably a lot. But if this goes viral, then you, by extension, will be embarrassed as well. You'll forever be known as that brother whose uncle embarrassed his sister at graduation. It'll be fantastic. And of course, the tradition will have to continue with you, too. The people will want a sequel."

Jasper's eyes narrow. "And it's so convenient that you won't be able to graduate, isn't it? That you'll miss this tradition?"

I plaster an innocent expression on my face. "The thought hadn't occurred to me."

"My ass! Absolutely not. I'm all for Rosalie being embarrassed, but not me by extension. No."

"So just her, then? You're so chivalrous and such a gentleman. You hear this, Alice? This is your boyfriend!"

She doesn't say anything; she merely laughs while Jasper sputters more, his pale face slowly turning red.

"You're demented! We're not going viral!"

"Not with that attitude!"

"Uh, hold on," Dad inputs, waving a hand between us as if we're actually about to get into a physical fight.

He's probably not that far off, though. Who knows what I can do with my freaky-ass new abilities … smacking someone through the Internet?

Now that would be kind of cool.

In moderation … and once I have my temper under control, otherwise, there will be a lot of people getting hit.

"Number one, considering you and your mother's current … err—status, I don't recommend going viral," Dad continues, giving me a stern look.

My mood deflates. "Damn. Yeah, I forgot about that one part. Edward, do you think these rulers you spoke of would think it was funny?"

"Probably," he says with a snort. "They have a pretty warped sense of humor."

"Edward," Carlisle and Esme warn in sync, their tone clearly warning against encouraging me.

"Bella, enough," Dad tells me. "We're not going viral."

"Fine. But you'll record it and embarrass her just the same? Something we can watch every year?"

Dad chuckles. "Of course."

"Great! Then—" I stop, not knowing what to say at her bowed head.

For a moment, I think she's pissed off or crying at my plans.

With my new freaky vampire brain, I come up with a few ways to tell her to calm down, listing the reasons why this moment is important and needs to happen.

Something normal needs to happen in our family; there's been too much of the supernatural and getting embarrassed at a school function is a definite must.

Even if it's me … which, thankfully, it's not.

But I digress.

I continue to stare at Rose, wondering what the hell is going on with her. She should have had some kind of reaction by now, either getting extremely pissed or shedding a few tears.

The latter is not a definite chance, but it's a real possibility with her mood today.

"Rose? You good? Are you alive? Do you need rebooting?"

Jasper snickers. "The only robot in this family is you."

"We'll come back to that," I murmured, keeping my focus on Rose. "Rose? Look at me."

Slowly, she lifts her head, but her eyes stay down, her messy hair falling in front of the right half of her face heavily. She doesn't make a move to brush it back; instead, she leaves it there as a barrier between herself, my dad, her brother, and myself.

My eyes narrow, and my lips press tightly together as I stare at her, wondering why she looks so guilty.

Then it hits.

"You're not planning on graduating in January," I say, leaving my words as a statement because at this point, I know it's the truth.

For whatever stupid reason, she's not planning on graduating when she should be.

Rose is silent, ignoring the stares of our family members, boring holes into the side of her head.

"Rose," I snap.

"No, I'm not," she whispers, keeping her gaze down. "I just—I'm not doing it."

Immediately, Dad and Jasper start talking over one another, each of them scolding her for her decision. Mom blurs into the room then, her face set in disapproval and anger as she stares at the screen, giving Rose her own lecture.

I merely sit back and let everyone else say their piece because, quite frankly, they're doing a damn excellent job.

Too bad it's not working.

The longer they continue, the more the muscle in her jaw ticks. Her nostrils flare every so often, telling me she's using the "slow and steady" breathing technique my mom loves to use whenever she's upset.

Rose continues to stare at some spot in her field of vision, barely blinking and breathing slowly.

"Okay, enough," I finally say, and surprisingly, everyone quiets. My eyes widen, and I sit back in astonishment, wondering when I had gained that ability.

Pushing it to the side, I focus on the matter at hand.

"Rose, why? You've worked—"

"Save it," she interrupts with a wave of her hand. "Just like you, I've made up my mind, and I'm not going any time soon. Besides, you and Jasper didn't want me to go anyway, so I'm saving you the pain of missing me."

I glare at her image. "One, we wanted you to graduate. It's natural to miss someone when they move away. Two, my situation isn't the same thing, and you know it."

"Whatever."

"Don't be a brat about this," I sharply replied. "We're talking about this. Why aren't you graduating?"

"Because I don't want to."

"Well, why didn't you just say so, then?" I throw my hands up in the air, forgetting that one of them holds the phone.

Oh well.

If she gets motion sickness from it, then so be it.

"If you don't want to, then fine. Sure! Don't graduate! Throw away all of that hard work and time you put into all of your classes and simply sit back and twiddle your thumbs because you studied so far ahead."

She returns my glare with one of her own. "Don't be a smartass."

"Then don't be a dumbass! What happened to Seattle? To college? To your apartment?"

For a moment, I see a flash of regret and longing in her face before her features harden once more. "Plans change."

"Not these plans, they don't."

"Yours did."

With my free hand, I scrub my face, groaning into my palm. "Not the same thing."

"It is."

I point a finger at her. "No, it's not. If I got a cold or the flu on graduation day, would you call off your graduation? Or how about this, let's say I recovered from that asshole running me over, but I was still in the hospital. Would you miss it then?"

Almost immediately, her mouth opens to retort, but she closes it just as quickly because we both know the answer.

She wouldn't.

She'd still graduate.

Slowly, she shakes her head, looking away.

"Okay," I say, my tone quiet. "Then are you doing it now? It's the same thing, Rose. I'm still here. I'm still alive … I'm just … publicly challenged."

Jasper snorts, rubbing at his chin to hide his grin. "That's different how?"

Edward laughs under his breath. "He's got a point."

I flip both off with a sneer. "I didn't have the capability to drain everybody dry then."

Remorse floods Jasper's features, but I wave it away with a flick of my wrist.

He's not wrong, honestly.

"Rose, you have to graduate. It's important. You've worked so hard for this moment, and if you don't take it, then you're letting Royce win."

Dad and Jasper lean back with identical smirks on their faces. Jasper folds his arms across his chest while Dad gives me a single nod of approval.

I give no outward reaction, but on this inside, I'm cheering as Rose's eyes narrow, and her jaw gets taunt, her face and neck flushing pink.

"What does he have to do with this?"

Shrugging a shoulder, I prop my head against my free hand as if I'm bored. "Nothing … except he wanted nothing but to ruin your life and mine. He failed with me since he essentially made Mom and Edward make me better. As for you, well, your biggest goal was to graduate early so you could get a head start on college and make something of yourself. It's probably the whole getting out of Forks thing too, but we'll ignore that. If you don't go, you're letting him win and ruin your life. Good job."

After I'm done, she slams her hand down on the table, and seconds later, I hear something fall and break.

"Don't, Bella. I mean it."

"No, you don't. You're going to graduate, Rose. You have a scholarship, for crying out loud! You can't let that go to waste!"

There's nothing but silence for the longest time. Tension and awkwardness surround me uncomfortably, and more than once, I shift my legs to try and alleviate the strange feeling.

I can't imagine how it is at home, but I imagine it's mighty uncomfortable if the grimace on Jasper's face is anything to go by.

Instead of arguing as she had been, she broke down in tears.

Covering her face with her hands, she loudly sobs into her palms, her shoulders shaking and her breathing coming out in short, unsteady bursts.

Somewhere in the house, I hear Emmett's cry of distress, as well as Carlisle, Esme, and Alice reprimand him to stay where he is.

I'm sure he doesn't like it, but they're right; I know he wants to help her, but there's not a lot he can do from here.

I feel the same way … completely useless and frustrated.

Dad and Jasper stare at Rose in shock before springing into action, pulling her into a hug and whispering soothing words into her ear.

Edward taps my knee, giving me a pointed look as he plucks the phone from my hand, holding it up so I can still it without having to hold it.

Immediately, I see why.

There's a crack on each side of the screen with small flakes of plastic shimmering down from Edward's fingers.

"Sorry," I murmur.

He shrugs it off. "I've done worse."

I file that statement away from later, wanting to know what he's done when he was a newborn.

Now, I have a family member to focus on.

"Rose," I start, only to stop when she lashes out with a grunt, pushing Jasper's arms away and violently wiping at her cheeks.

"You don't understand, Bella. I—I watched you lay on that concrete and bleed. I watched you in that damn hospital bed, hooked up to machines and wires that were keeping you alive. I watched you go from looking lively to dead, Bella. And then … when Aunt Renee and Edward bit you … it was like you were being tortured. Every night I see that play out in my head. Every. Single. Night. I wake up gasping and crying. I—I want to graduate, I do. But I can't. As stupid as this is going to sound, I want my family there. My whole family. I want you cheering in the crowd and embarrassing me because that's such a you thing to do, and without you there, well … it's not the same, and I don't want it. I almost lost you, Bella. It … it doesn't feel real until I hold you."

Guilt churns in my stomach, clutching my insides in a vice grip. I know I'm not responsible for the events that led me here, but I still feel remorse.

Briefly, I consider going, just to see if I can stand being around my human family without going ballistic; maybe if I try hard enough, then I actually can accomplish it.

After all, Mom's DNA is part of mine; there should be some of her weird restraint in my veins.

Edward focuses on me, raising a single eyebrow in question. I shrug a shoulder, silently wondering if I actually can do this and be there for Rose on her big day, but deep down, I know the answer.

I can't.

It might be fear based on what's already happened, or it might be my instincts telling me to trust my gut.

No matter what this feeling is, I can't go.

I can't take that risk.

My head begins to pound in a bursting rhythm, my foot starting to bounce in an irregular rhythm against the cherry hardwood floor. Deftly, Edward slides his hand underneath the sole, and belatedly, I realize that I must have been using too much force.

Grimacing, I stop myself from moving, only to start again moments later as my head pounds even harder.

"Even if I had some of Mom's control, I couldn't sit in the audience anyway," I reason. "I was in a car accident, Rose. Right now, I don't look like I've been in a hospital. It would just bring up too many questions that we can't answer."

Rose purses her lips unhappily, drumming her fingers against a solid surface. "I didn't think of that, but that doesn't mean you can't—"

"Rosalie, enough. Bella has made her decision, and we have to respect it," Dad says, finally stepping into the conversation. His tone is firm and final, leaving no room for argument.

Not that we would when he uses that tone.

Rose's mouth opens and closes twice before she closes it, her teeth clicking together. Betrayal and hurt flash across her features before they harden. Body tense, she rises from her chair and furiously turns away, her feet pounding against the floor. Moments later, there's the distinct sound of a door slamming shut.

Dad sighs, scrubbing a hand over his face. "I'll be back."

He follows after her, the deep timbre of his voice far away.

Jasper's gaze follows after them, and sadly, he sighs before turning his attention back to me.

"You still know how to clear out a room. Glad to know that hasn't changed."

"Very funny, asshole. It's not like I meant to upset her."

He nods once, his expression turning serious. "I know. And she does, too; she's just … she's been having a tough time adjusting. I thought she was bad when Aunt Renee was hurt, but with you—well, let's just say it was hard for everyone."

His blue eyes become glassy with tears, the whites turning red. He ducks his head down, but I still catch the droplets of water falling from his face.

"Hey, look at me," I demand.

I wait until he looks up to continue.

Irritation at where I'm at and the circumstances I find myself in flares, feeding my guilt and the pounding in my head.

"I'm okay, you know? I'll get through this."

"You will," he responds, his tone not wavering or breaking once.

From the firm set of his shoulders and the way he sits a little taller, I can tell he truly believes his words … and that gives me a little comfort too.

"I'm just sorry—"

He laughs, but the sound isn't unkind. It's a mixture of humor and sadness. "It's okay, Bella. It's not your fault." He stops, sniffling lightly, his expression wary. "What happened anyway? Did … did something go wrong?"

Blowing out a breath, I wonder if I should share this with him. Obviously, I've put enough strain on them, and going into more detail would only add to it.

On the other hand, I've already spit everything out, so I might as well tell him everything.

"I'm not sure—" I pause, hearing Rose crying through the crackling speaker of the phone.

Jasper briefly looks over, his face contorting in pain. He moves as if he's going to get up, but he shakes his head once, seemingly answering some unspoken question to himself.

"What are you doing? Get up and go see her!"

"Uncle Charlie is there with her," he murmurs, his attention slipping from me to the stairs every other second. "She'll be okay. She just needs to allow herself to feel now. She has been trying to be strong for me and Uncle Charlie and you ever since the accident. She was lashing out at us, at Emmett … at anyone, really. Now, she just needs to feel the grief and relief of everything."

"You can still go eavesdrop! My hearing is good, but it's not that good, thanks to these cell phones."

"One, that sounds like a personal problem. Two, I'm not going to eavesdrop and have her kill me."

"Big baby. And what was with all of that stuff you said? You sound like a damn doctor or something," I say with a snort.

His responding smile is a combination of bitter and sad. "I've been doing my research and talking to Carlisle and Esme; did you know she went to medical school, too?"

My eyebrows shoot high on my head, and I sit back, nudging Edward with my knee.

He nods once, turning to look up at me. "She wanted to help people," he quietly tells me. "She also wanted to bond with Carlisle more, so she studied psychology. She liked it enough, I suppose, but there were a couple of patients she couldn't get through to, and it affected her greatly. She fell into a depression; Carlisle asked her not to do it anymore, so she didn't. She still helps out if she feels she can, but otherwise, she remains on the sidelines."

"Wow," I whisper, feeling more respect for her than I did before.

Esme's pretty great, being able to do all of that and probably much more.

Idly, I wonder if I could ever do something great and help people like that.

I certainly have the time … but what if I can't get past this issue I'm having now? What if I can't ever be around people again?

I stop that line of thinking because I'm not going to wallow or mope.

I'm going to get past this, and I'm going to do remarkable things.

But before that, I'm definitely going to evaluate my speed and scare the crap out of some people.

… Just because I can.

"That's good," I say after a moment because I completely got lost in my head.

Again.

"Are you okay?"

Jerkily, I nod. "Yeah, sorry. My mind goes everywhere."

He gives me a lazy, half-smirk that looks sadder than amused. "That's not anything new."

Sneering, I flip him off. "Get some charm, jerk."

"You first, Madame."

Squaring my shoulders and straightening my back, I tilt my head back, so my nose sticks in the air. "I've never claimed to be proper."

"Or classy."

"Screw you, fuck-head! I have class and manners."

"Language, Bella!" Mom half-heartedly shouts.

We stare at each other for a long moment in silence before erupting in laughter. I shake my head, feeling like myself for the first time since I woke up.

Too bad it doesn't last.

As soon as Jasper's laugh trails off, so does the comfortable and easy feeling, and in its place, unfamiliarity, and unease.

"I miss you," he mumbles, averting his gaze from mine.

"Aw! You do love me," I tease.

Finally, his smile is a little more genuine this time around. "I have to. I get paid twenty bucks a month."

"Twenty? I get paid fifty."

He chuckles, looking away from the camera. I see him swallow thickly, and I know he's still struggling with his emotions.

"It pains me to say this, but I miss you too, weirdo."

"I wish—"

I stop when he shakes his head, leaning toward the camera to look me dead in the eye.

"I know if you could, you'd be here right now. The fact that you're not, tells me that you're genuinely worried about keeping us safe."

"And you're okay with me staying away?" I question, part of me relieved he's taking this so well, and the other a little bit offended he's so blasé about my continued absence.

Jerk.

Jasper shifts, scrubbing a hand over his cheek. I think I see a bit of fuzz on his face, but with the low light from the house and the terrible quality of the camera, it's too hard to tell.

I'm tempted to ask him, but he speaks before I can say anything.

"No, I'm not okay," he replies, his tone sharper than what it needs to be. "I'm not okay with you being hurt and turned into a vampire that can't be around us right now! Who knows when we'll see you again?!"

"Okay … breathe."

Putting on a big show of inhaling and exhaling, I'm momentarily marveled at the fact that my lungs don't burn as I hold my breath longer than necessary.

Even when Jasper has taken and released his breath, I'm still holding mine with no uncomfortableness in my chest.

This new realization sparks a slew of ideas.

With my non-breathing capabilities, maybe I can finally swim in the deep ocean like I've always wanted to.

I have to wonder, however, if sharks would be afraid of me as land animals seem to be … or would they think of me as a challenge?

Are they even edible? What would they taste like?

"Bella?"

My attention snaps back to Jasper, who is gazing at me quizzically.

"Sorry. Like I said, easily distracted."

"It's fine," he murmurs. "Is it really hard?"

Emmett makes a crude remark from somewhere in the house, and it's immediately followed by a sharp reprimand from Esme.

"Emmett, honestly," she tells him. "Watch your mouth, or I'll put soap in it."

"I'll give you a thousand dollars if you do it anyway, Esme," I hear Kate bargain, followed by Garrett's masculine chuckle.

I can't help but snicker because I can see Emmett's hulking frame hunched as he sulks with his arms crossed over his chest and a bar of soap between his lips.

"Bella?"

Edward taps my leg purposefully, his eyes focused on me, serious and intent. However, his lips are curled into a smirk as he chuckles lowly.

He's probably picturing the same thing I am.

At least, I hope he is.

If he's making fun of me, we're going to have issues.

"Sorry, Jasper," I repeat. "It's a little overwhelming at times."

Jasper slowly nods, his eyebrows pinched together. "It's that difficult?"

"Yeah. You know how it is at haunted houses during Halloween? Where there's so much happening at once, and you can't focus on one thing long enough without something distracting you? It's like that; except, instead of it being in the same room, it's all around you. For miles, even."

His eyes bug out of his head, and he sits back, his mouth opening and closing. "Wow. How do the Cullen's manage school? That seems like such a pain in the ass."

Edward shifts the phone, so Jasper can see him. "It's not without difficulty, I assure you. But when you're newly transformed, it's worse. Once we get used to our senses, it's a little easier to handle."

Jasper's posture straightens as he leans forward, a little happier. "Really? So Bella will be okay?"

Edward's response is firm and concrete, leaving no room for doubt. "She will. And she'll overcome her bloodlust, too."

"It was really that bad?"

Sliding to the floor, I pop my head into the frame of the camera. "Excuse me; I'm right here. I wouldn't lie to you … much."

They both ignored me, continuing their conversation as if I hadn't spoken.

"It wasn't … entirely bad," Edward hedges. "If we hadn't gotten through to her, it would have been a nightmare for us."

I snort. "Yeah, you would have been in pieces until I came back to my senses."

"Mm-hmm. Thank goodness you didn't know about burning the pieces then," Edward says, in what I hope is a joking manner.

Jasper nods in understanding, a troubled shadow falling over his face and making his sallowness pale. Swallowing thickly, he looks away briefly before focusing once more on the camera, his smile tight and forced.

"Well, that's good at least."

Looking between the two of them, a noise of frustration bubbles from my chest and vibrates up my throat, coming out as a low growl.

"Would you two like to share with me?"

Edward chuckles, looking entirely too amused.

My eyes narrow, and thankfully his amusement disappears as he answers my question.

"Jasper's already known how to get rid of us for a while now," Edward informs me, leaning his forehead against my temple so his breath ghosts across my ear.

A jolt of astonishment hits me as the memories from Halloween night come racing back.

Jasper had been terrified, and I knew it simply wasn't because he found the Cullen's were vampires.

I mean, I suppose he could have.

My reaction to finding out the supernatural was real wasn't necessarily a picnic.

I had been scared and screamed for Paul, Sam, and Jake to stay away from me because I didn't want their freaky asses near me.

After I had calmed down and actually listened, things had been okay.

At first, I was still wary of them, knowing they weren't exactly human, and they could easily kill me if they wanted to. However, the more time I spent with them, the more I realized they were still the same goofy awesome people they were before.

In some ways, they are actually even better, and I think that attributed to the fact that their secret was out, and they were free to be themselves one hundred percent of the time.

That's why I had come down some hard on Jasper when he started trying to keep me away from the Cullen's; they're good people, and what they are doesn't define who they truly are.

Except for Edward.

He's a jerk, but I like him that way.

With this bit of news I've learned, now I know Jasper wasn't completely scared of what they are, but rather what they could do.

Or maybe, it's a combination of both.

When Jasper and I are alone, I'll have to ask him sometime.

"So, that's why you were so freaked?" I question. "Cause you saw them kill another vampire?"

"Laurent," Edward adds.

"Oh. Well, he deserved it!"

Edward hums an agreement while Jasper shakes his head vigorously.

"I wasn't freaked!"

In the camera, I snicker at the matching looks of disbelief and amusement Edward, and I share, because we both know Jasper is full of shit.

"You were."

"Very freaked," I say at the same time as Edward.

Jasper sputters, his reply leaving in short, unintelligible bursts. "I—no—that's not—"

"Freaked," I repeat, raising an eyebrow and daring him to argue with me.

After a moment of silent staring, Jasper finally relents with a heavy sigh. "Fine! I was freaked out! It was difficult seeing my friends and my aunt tear someone's head off and toss it into a fire like he was nothing but a plastic toy!"

"Understandable," I murmur, thinking about everything that had happened today and Edward's latest news that vampire pieces have to be burned to fully destroy them.

With this newfound knowledge, will I remember it if I'm in that crazed state once more?

I'm not going to lie and say I'm not worried about it because I am.

I don't want to hurt my mother, Edward, or the Cullens.

And I won't.

I'll have to trust Edward, the Cullens, and their friends in guiding me in this new life and hope for the love of all things horror that I can actually do it without problems.

It won't be easy, I know.

I'm a pain in the ass most of the time and absolutely stubborn to boot, so I'll need to be extra cautious about my behavior and moods from here on out … especially with these new 'gifts' I possess.

The idea of hurting anyone is enough for me to make sure that today won't happen again.

"Bella?"

Snapping back to the present moment, I ignore Edward's inquisitive eyes and focus on Jasper.

Not that his stare is any better.

"Everything okay?"

I give my cousin a sharp nod in response and try to change the course of the conversation. "Can you hear Rose? Is she okay?"

He shrugs and rises from his chair, his feet slapping against the hardwood as he takes the stairs two at a time.

The camera swirls and blurs, making me sway slightly.

"How can I get dizzy?" I hiss to Edward.

He smirks, but there's amusement behind it; he's still concerned. I can see it clearly in his ruby eyes.

"Once you get better adapted, it won't happen as often."

Rolling my eyes, I listen closely as Jasper comes to a stop at Rose's door.

She's not crying anymore, but she's talking to Dad, so I'm taking that as a win.

"I think she's fine," Jasper whispers, trying to be stealthy.

It's useless, honestly; he practically galloped up the stairs. Rose knows he's there.

A second later, I'm proven right.

"Get away from my door, Jasper!"

He jumps with a gasp, running down the steps, sounding no quieter than he did when he went up.

Edward laughs lightly, shaking his head, while I outright laugh at his reaction.

"I thought in all of our years of watching horror movies, you'd be prepared for stealth missions or being just a little bit smarter," I tease with a chuckle.

"Yeah, well," he replies, scratching at the back of his head. "Apparently not, considering two of my best friends are vampires, and I'm dating one. I guess I need to learn more."

"And these few months haven't been enough? With the aforementioned vampire best friends and girlfriend? Not to mention rogue nomads and childhood friends who are also mythical creatures?"

Jasper laughs while Edward stiffens, his eyes widening and his face filling with dread.

"What?" I ask, catching Jasper's attention.

"What? What's wrong?"

"The wolves," Edward replies. "They might be a problem."

Don't worry. It's not a *big* problem. ;)

Thanks for reading! Stay safe, friends.