Re-edited Sept. 30 2012
Chapter 2
... ... ...
It seems the next little while we kept missing each other online. At first I worried that he was mad at me but then once in a while, I would log on and there would be a message from him.
Randy: Lana where have you been? I miss talking to you. Hope you're on soon –hugs-
I always replied back to him saying sorry I missed him and hoping he would be on next time I was but I did however, talk to others. Once I spoke with John who asked how I was, another time Chris Masters and Ashley. All three mentioned that Randy was wondering how I was and how mad he was he kept missing me. I stopped to think here. What the hell was going on? Was some geek out there, having some kind of thing for me, while he pretended to be all these Superstars?
Well gee, if he was going by my picture he would sure be in for a surprise. I don't even know why he would be going by that picture anyway. I'm not hideous but not your everyday Diva. Not like the ones on TV. Not someone you'd think Randy Orton fake or not would go for. I'm sure the fake one could get as many girls as he wanted.. all the groupies who wanted a piece of fame would be right there, thinking he had an in with the real Randy, so why was he bugging me?
I guess I can't really say bugging, cause I did enjoy talking to them. It was like being in my own little fantasy world, one where I was just Lana Mitchell and not the girl with cancer, not the little sick girl. I got to be me and only me. They only saw me and knew me as Lana. Was that too much to ask of the rest of the world?
… … …
Chemo sucks. I'll tell you that now, I had just finished off another round and was at home, sick and praying the pain would go away and I'm not your praying kind of girl. I noticed that each time I seemed to be sick just a little bit longer. I told my mom who reminded me that my immune system was low and it was probably just taking a while for my body to recover. Okay fine, didn't mean I had to like it.
I'd gone back to wearing my glasses now. They were only for driving or when my eyes were tired which were now all the time, I was so sick of the nausea and vomiting, I was so sick of the clumps of hair coming out that I finally begged my mom to cut it all off. She did and she cried as I did my best to remain strong but she promised to buy me wigs whenever I was up to going out. After that I did something I hadn't done since I started Chemo, I looked in the mirror, I mean really looked in the mirror and that's when I broke down. I didn't even recognize myself anymore. I returned to my room and curled up around my laptop wanting to get lost in my fantasy world. It was the first time since I returned home from Chemo and I found a lot of messages from Randy.
Randy: hey sweetheart, guess I missed you again, hope to see you soon.
Randy: -hugs- hope you're doing well Lana miss talking to you.
Randy: You pulled your disappearing act again, didn't you? Off for some secret rendezvous? lol
Randy: I'm kinda worried, no one has seen you online. Just write back when you get this.
I sighed. How cute, I worried the poor faker. Yeah I know I was in a grouchy mood. But nevertheless, I wrote back to him.
Wannabe Diva: Sorry real life gets in the way…can't be helped.
I pressed send and almost immediately I got a reply. Ah I guess he was hiding from someone in invisible mode
Randy: You're back.
Wannabe Diva: Who ya hiding from?
Randy: No one. I've just been waiting for you to come on.
Wannabe Diva: Wait wait wait, so who should be stalking who?
Randy: -pouts- this isn't stalking just concern for a friend.
Wannabe Diva: -raises eyebrow- friend? You don't even know me.
Randy: But I'd like to get to know you more. You're fun to talk to.
Wannabe Diva: Not always.
Randy: What's wrong?
Wannabe Diva: who said anything about something being wrong?
Randy: You're acting funny.
Wannabe Diva: Perhaps this is how I always act, can you say you know me well enough to know?
Randy: -frowns- I thought perhaps I did, I just KNOW this isn't you. What's wrong Lana?
Wannabe Diva: Nothing.
Randy: ahh your favorite word again.
Wannabe Diva: It has nothing to do with my favorite word. I said there was nothing wrong. Deal with it. Look my mom's calling me I have to go.
Randy: Lana wait….
I signed off, put my head on my pillow and sobbed. It wasn't fair. Here he was at the prime of his life enjoying life, whoever he was and here I was stuck at home sick, with cancer. It wasn't fair. Life wasn't fair.
… … …
"Sleeping again? Surprise, surprise."
I groaned, putting the pillow over my head as I snuggled in further.
"Ain't gonna happen, get outta bed."
I lifted a corner of the pillow and glared at my cousin Danni.
"Easier said than done."
"I'll help you, it's nice out just come get some fresh air for a bit."
Sighing I tossed the pillow aside and with the help of Danni, struggled out of bed, putting most of my weight against her.
"Damn." I heard her whisper.
"Too heavy?" I sarcastically asked.
She shook her head. "Quite the opposite." she murmured before smiling. "I think I could take you in a fight now."
"Hardee har har. Kick em while they're down. Why are you here? Shouldn't you be working?"
"I took the day off. Auntie Kim called me."
She put me down in the swinging porch seat and sat beside me as I looked at her warily wondering why mom had called her.
"She said you've been in your room the last little while crying."
"Have you seen my hair? Sorry, lack of hair?"
She looked at my head thoughtfully. "We can work with it. It's something more huh?"
I rolled my eyes.
"Who's Randy?"
I looked at her sharply."What?"
"Your mom mentioned something about some guy named Randy who is always messaging you that has no idea what is wrong with you."
"No one online does." I muttered, lifting my hand to tug on her brown tresses, a wave of sadness coming over me once more.
"So tell, who is he?"
"An imposter." I muttered.
She cocked her head to the side, Confused.
"You know the WWE, Randy Orton? A little while ago my friend came across some WWE Superstars on Messenger and she gave me their addresses and their fun to talk to once in a while. It's like being in my own little fantasy world. And well Randy decided he likes talking to me."
She was quiet for a few moments as we watched a little boy on a bike ride by.
"What if it is him?"
I laughed but it soon turned into coughing. Damn if my throat wasn't always dry now. After the coughing fit and a drink Danni handed me, I sat back.
"You think it's the real thing? When would they actually have time to go on?"
"Have you ever seen them online when they should be on TV?"
I shook my head.
"So how do you know?"
"Danni, the idea is ludicrous, It's insane. Impossible."
"You don't know that."
I rolled my eyes, leaning heavily against the chair. "So did Mom call you over here to say my fakers might be real."
"She's worried about you Lan, we all are. You've isolated yourself and cut yourself off from all your friends."
"What friends?" I scathingly replied. "The ones who are afraid to come near me because they're stupid enough to think I'm contagious?"
"Oh Lana that's not true." Danni said placing an arm around me.
"So how come you're the only one I've talked to since this began?" I asked my lower lip trembling.
Danni sighed knowing I was right. "They're idiots then." She softly replied. "How come no one online knows?"
"They don't know me. They know me as Lana. Just Lana. Too them I'm not sick and they don't have to know. They can't see me. I can just be me, without their pity. I don't want their pity. I'm sick of everyone's pity."
"I understand."
"No you don't." I snapped, my blue eyes flashing as I turned to glare at her. "How can you understand?"
"You're right, I don't. but I get what you mean about the anonymity about the internet. If you don't want to tell anyone you don't have to."
I smiled at her. "Thanks Danni. I just can't deal with their pity I'm tired of being pitied."
We rested our heads against one another as we looked out to the road.
"I know." She quietly replied.
… … …
Randy: Why are you mad at me?
It was a few days after Danni's visit and I was feeling well enough to go online for longer periods of time and without being sick. I guess someone thought I was mad at him.
Wannabe Diva: Sigh, I'm not mad at you Randy.
Randy: you sure seemed like it last time.
Wannabe Diva: Sorry I was in a bad mood and I wasn't feeling well.
Randy: I'm sorry.
Wannabe Diva: Don't apologize, I should be saying sorry. I shouldn't have been so rude.
Randy: Don't worry about it.
Wannabe Diva: but I am. I felt really bad, if anything you should be mad at me.
Randy: I couldn't be mad at you.
Wannabe Diva: Why?
Randy: You're too adorable to be mad at.
Wannabe Diva: -Blushes- Please don't tell me you're going by that picture.
Randy: -raises eyebrow- What's wrong with that picture? I like that picture.
Wannabe Diva: I don't. 'sides wanna hear a secret? That's an old picture.
Randy: Well let's see a new one.
Wannabe Diva: ummm how bout… NO.
Randy: pouts No fair.
Wannabe Diva: Lol I betcha look adorable when you pout.
Oh Lord was I flirting with him? Dammit Lana what the hell is wrong with you? I silently scolded myself.
Randy: You can always come and find out :p
Wannabe Diva: -rolls eyes- sure buy me a plane ticket to St. Louis.
Randy: Perhaps I will one day, if you're good.
Wannabe Diva: Rrrriiiiiiggghhhhttttt…. Whatever you say.
Randy: you don't believe me?
Wannabe Diva: I should warn you I'm a crazy stalker person.
Randy: -smirks- I think I can handle you.
Wannabe Diva: Oh lord he's even smirking on here
Randy: I haven't found an emoticon to do that yet.
Wannabe Diva: Heaven forbid the day they do. I will never get rest from that ;p
Randy: You're mean.
Wannabe Diva: Says the top Heel wrestler…. If you could see I'm rolling on my bed laughing that Randy Orton is all upset about a poor little mean girl.
Randy: On your bed hey?
Wannabe Diva: Mind outta the gutter.
Randy: Still wouldn't mind seeing you.
Wannabe Diva: so when are you coming back?
Randy: Soon. And way to change the subject
Wannabe Diva: ;p you excited? And all fixed?
Randy: Yes and yes but I don't think I was broken.
Wannabe Diva: hmm okay…. Is your ego still the size of Canada? And are you still gonna be mean to people backstage?
Randy: ouch you're blunt.
Wannabe Diva: It's one of my more endearing qualities.
Randy: I made some mistakes, I admit it, I got too full of myself. But I'm working on that.
Wannabe Diva: -pats Randy on the head- Good. I'm proud of you.
Randy: All I get is a pat on the head?
Wannabe Diva: Now you're just being needy.
Randy: So you think. So whatcha doing?
Wannabe Diva: What I always do.
Randy: Which would be…..
Wannabe Diva: Stuff :D…. what are you doing?
Randy: Stuff.
Wannabe Diva: you can't use the same thing against me. –pouts-
Randy: now I bet you look adorable when you pout.
Wannabe Diva: You wish, Jellyfish.
Randy: LMAO…Cute.
Wannabe Diva: well there is no denying it.
Randy: and so modest.
Wannabe Diva: HAHAHA okay Mr. Ego… How many times have you looked in the mirror?
Randy: today… last count was I think 27.
Wannabe Diva: I rest my case…. Randy my mom is calling me. I'll TTYL –hugs-
Randy: Okay –hugs- ttyl Lana be safe kay?
My mom was really calling me as I had to take some meds but I didn't really want tell him that. Would you?