Re-edited Sept. 30 2012

Chapter 4

… … …

Jen: You disappeared again.

Lana: So?

Jen was a very good online friend who also had no idea what was going on. Nobody did. But she always hounded me with questions as to where I was. I think she had a feeling something was wrong, she was very intuitive, but no, I wasn't ready to talk about it.

Jen: Everything okay?

Lana: Course, why wouldn't it be?

Jen: I just have this feeling something is going on when you disappear.

Lana: Jen, honey, don't worry about it, I'm cool you're cool, we're all cool.

Jen: If you say so…

Lana: I do :P So what's been happening?

Jen: Not much. You watch Raw and the special

Lana: Yes, Randy is back :D. U gonna watch the PPV?

Jen: Of course. Can't wait.

Lana: My boys better win. Lol

Jen: Your boys?

Lana: John and Randy they're my boys.

Jen: lol… You sure you're okay Lana?

Lana: uh huh… hold on….

Another window popped up. I know, you're never gonna guess who it was.

Randy: how are you feeling?

Lana: Like a superstar.

Randy: You changed your name. You don't wanna be a diva anymore.

Lana: it's not that I don't want to but I can't, at least not now.

Randy: -sigh- here we go again. If you want it Lana you can get it, don't sell yourself short, please. I can help you.

Lana: And I do want it, I'm just putting it on hold for now.

Randy: You're in your prime, your best shot would be now.

Lana: Stop it, okay. I CAN'T right now, I just can't. so please quit bugging me…

I went back to my conversation with Jen thoroughly annoyed at Randy. But I didn't really blame him. He had no idea what going on. Was it really fair of me to be so angry?

Lana: I'm back.

Jen: Where did you go?

Lana: I had to talk to someone else.

Jen: Ok well I gotta go to work though so I'll ttyl. Take care and if you ever need to talk let me know okay?

Lana: Yeah ttyl.

I closed the window and with a loud sigh, turned back to Randy's conversation.

Randy: Lana don't be mad at me, I'm sorry okay? I just think if someone wants something they should go for it, otherwise you may end up in the army, with a dishonorable discharge.

Lana: Lol, I somehow doubt I'll end up in the army. 'Sides, they won't take me.

Randy: They'll take anyone.

Lana: Almost anyone.

Randy: Unless you have some sort of illness or injury…

Okay I think I pushed it too far this time. Was I crying out for help or something? How much more obvious can I get?

Randy: Lana Can I ask you something?

Lana: no.

Randy: I'm gonna ask anyways. Are you sick? Is that why you seem so secretive? Is that why you push me away?

Lana: Push you away?

Randy: You seem to warm up but as soon as I say something, you put up a wall.

Lana: not this again.

Randy: or you avoid like you are now and change the subject. What's going on?

Lana: nothing. Why are you so nosy?

Randy: Why do you think?

Lana: Don't say it, please don't.

Randy: Why? I care about you? What's so wrong in me saying that?

I did the smart thing, well the smart thing at the time. It was actually the cowards way when I thought about it later but at the time, it didn't matter to me, I just had to get away, so I signed out. This was going too far, he couldn't keep doing this. He couldn't keep talking about how much he cares about me, it was wrong. Just plain wrong. And him almost finding out about my illness, that was even more wrong. This whole thing was just wrong. That's it, I was going to tell him no more. I had to stop talking to my imposters. This was becoming way too real.

OK, it was now or never. I was signing back on and telling Randy no more. I knew his little secret and it had to stop now.

Signing on, I saw Randy had already signed out but that didn't stop another message from popping up.

Trish: Hey sweetie can I talk to you for a minute?

How the hell were they on so much if they were always so busy? Like that made a lot of sense.

Lana: Yeah what's up?

Trish: Why are you so upset with him? He doesn't mean to hurt you. Why is it so bad if he cares about you?

Lana: It's not real. I know that, you know that, does he know that?

Trish: You mean cuz you've never met? That can be fixed. He just wants to get to know you, and when Raw comes up there…

Lana: Trish stop. We're never gonna meet okay? I'm not stupid and I refuse to carry this on any longer especially when 'Randy' has decided to go and have feelings for me.

Trish: What are you talking about?

Lana: What does he think will happen, we'll meet and I'll completely fall for him that I'll forget all about what a liar he was?

Trish: When has he ever lied to you?

Lana: Hmm, well since I first met him? Once again, I'm not stupid. How long did you expect me to carry this on?

Trish: Carry what on?

Lana: Stop playing dumb, this charade. I know that you all are imposters. You're pretty good in being on only when the real ones wouldn't be at a show but how could the real ones possibly be on as much as you guys are.

Trish: Wait you think we're fake?

Lana: When would the real superstars actually have the chance, huh? It doesn't make sense.

Trish: you wanna know why we're so good at being on when the "real" superstars don't have a show or appearances? It's because we are the Real Superstars.

Lana: I'm not dense, do you know how many imposters I have come across?

Trish: What gave you the idea we were imposters?

Lana: I just don't think it's possible.

Trish: Wow.

Lana: That's all you have to say? Do you know how many out there prolly believe you are the real deal. Don't you feel guilty or anything for leading those poor ppl on?

Trish: What do I have to feel guilty about? I'm not lying to anyone. WE ARE THE REAL DEAL.

Lana: Wow denying it until the end huh?

Trish: You know Randy saw something special in you. He loved talking to you because you seemed genuinely nice and you treated him like he was anyone else and now I get why. You never thought he was real that's why you didn't treat him or any of us any differently.

Lana: Give it up already.

Trish: If I was fake, I probably would have but you just don't get it Lana, we're the real deal, we're it. I'm the real Trish Stratus, you've talked to the real Ashley, the Real John Cena, the real Randy Orton because it was the real Randy Orton who fell for you… and now it's up to me to tell him you think he's a fraud. If you think we're fake then do us all a favor. Just stay away from us, especially Randy.

Trish signed out leaving me kind of speechless. But what did I expect? Her to easily be like Ha-ha, okay you got me, I'll stop. Nah, because that would just leave me to go and slander their names all across messenger lists and messenger boards. And heaven forbid they have that happen to them. This was probably the only way any of them could ever have any friends.

I got into a fight with an imposter a year ago and it turned out a lot different. But this imposter was just horrible, I was doing him a favor calling him on his bluff and putting him out of his misery. He didn't quite see it that way. We got into a big yelling match. Well as much as you can over the internet when I called him out. That's when he started calling me all sorts of names. Not that I didn't give as good as I got, and then some… I finally ended it with saying if he was who he said he was I doubt he would be treating his fans like this. Even if it was someone like me, he wouldn't do it in front of his other fans, which is exactly what he was doing. Oddly enough he disappeared soon after that. What can I say, I'm evil.

But no, Trish wasn't like that, she completely turned it around so I was the bad person and I hurt her feelings. Made me kind of wonder how delusional these people were. Did they really think they were these wrestlers now? Had they been doing it that long?

I dunno but I said what I needed to. God only knows how many other people they were stringing along. God only knows how many others Randy said he would meet but I wasn't going to be one of them. I refused to be made a fool of. I can do that on my own thank you very much.

… … …

I actually woke up one morning feeling pretty decent, meaning I could sit up in bed and play my Bass. Being able to hold it up and move my fingers was actually the best part. Danni came over for dinner and we went to my room after to just talk and hang out. I had left my laptop on and a message was there, from Randy. I hadn't heard from him or anyone since I told off Trish. I could see Randy was invisible so they must all be blocking me. I felt a bit of excitement go through me that I quickly pushed down. I shouldn't be excited that there was a message from him because of the conversation between Trish and I. No good would ever come of this. At all.

"Who's that from?" Danni asked.

"Randy." I muttered, picking up my laptop.

There was one message from him.

Randy: I actually trusted you. I thought you were different, but you only were because you thought I was an imposter. I actually liked you Lana.

"What did he say?" Danni asked.

"nothing" I muttered, typing out a quick reply.

Lana: How could I not. It works both ways, Trish wants me to leave you alone so you gotta do the same…

Randy: Lana, please, you have to believe me, it's really me.

Lana: I can't.

Randy: Why?

Lana: Because the real Randy Orton would never want me and even if he did as soon as he saw me he wouldn't anymore.

Randy: Why would you say that?

Lana: Please just don't talk to me anymore.

"Lan? What's wrong?" Danni asked, seeing my eyes fill up with tears. "What did he say?"

I swiped at the tears wondering where they could possibly be coming from.

"I-I-" I didn't quite get it. Why was I so upset that he was so disappointed in me, that he perhaps hated me. This was what I wanted.

Quietly I put my laptop down, giving Danni an excuse as I got up and walked out of the room and into the bathroom to get a grip on myself. As I sat on the edge of the bathtub, I tried to figure out what exactly was going on. Why did this bother me so much? If I admitted to myself, then yeah the past couple weeks when I haven't talked to him, I missed him-I mean it. I missed talking that's all but not Him. I did not miss him… much…

Oh Lana you idiot, admit it you missed him.

It was fun talking to him. He made me feel….

Special.

But I was right, the Real Randy or not, if I ever met him, he wouldn't want me. I was sick and god only knows if I would get better or not. There was a chance I wouldn't and with one look at me, whoever this guy was would run the other way.

"baby, I need to use the washroom." My mother said through the door.

I quickly wiped the tears out of my eyes and walked out.

"you okay?" My mom asked placing a kiss on my forehead. I nodded, leaning into the kiss before returning to my room.

As I entered Danni, looked up and quickly typed something before closing the laptop, a panicked look on her face.

"What did you do?" I demanded, a scowl on my face as I grabbed my laptop.

"Lan, please don't be mad." She pleaded.

I looked up at her panic in my face. "What did you do?" I asked quietly.

"I told that Randy guy to leave you alone and to quit bothering you, it's what you wanted right?"

My face kind of fell, disappointed that he was more than gone now that Danni had gotten involved. "uhh, yeah, I just thought perhaps you told him about me."

"No, uh-uh." Her phone beeped and she looked down at it quickly. "But I umm, I- Look I gotta pick some groceries up for mom, I'll call you later."

With a quick hug she left me staring after her, wondering what the hell was going on and if this was finally real, any ties I had with my superstars were now completely severed.

So why was I left with such an empty feeling?