Wow! I doubted if anyone would want to read a fic with male-pregnancy, but it seems I was hugely mistaken. Thank you so much for your amazing reviews, you know they mean a world to me! (And also thanks for the private review – it was my very first one!)
Before beginning… I was also thinking if I should pair Kai with… well, Miguel, for example. But… To write a decent fic, I need to believe in the couple I'm writing about. And… Well, never having even seen the characters from season three, I can't exactly write smoothly about them. I didn't even know who Miguel is before checking it out. (sighs) And oh, about the labour… I suppose I should give a small spoiler alert here. I wish I could make it the… well, traditional way, but I don't find a way how male-body could work like that. So… I think it'll be the ceasarian. (If someone has a way to make traditional labour work, let me know! The inventor will naturally get full credit.)
Okay, on with the story! Hope you'll like this chapter.
NovemberKai's eyes were squeezed tightly shut and he was trembling violently as he gave yet another heave, feeling like his entire stomach had been turned upside down.
He had no idea of for how long he'd been throwing up before the attack of nausea finally ceased, and he slowly got up to his weak legs, giving a shuttering sigh.
He'd been feeling sick for good three weeks already – it had begun pretty much straight after Tala's funeral. A part of him kept screaming that something was wrong – badly wrong; after all, he was a doctor. But the rest of him simply pushed the thought away, announcing that he was allowed to feel sick after losing the love of his life.
Ray gave him yet another worried look as he slowly emerged the staff-toilet of the hospital. " Were you sick again?" Being a doctor and a worried friend, Ray had immediately found out that he hadn't been feeling well.
" My stomach just… didn't feel right. But there's nothing to worry about", he replied, trying his best to sound convincing.
Kai could fool anyone else with those lame explanations, but apparently Ray wasn't that easy to shrug off. The Chinese squinted his eyes. " Kai, I really think you should let me make you some tests", the neko-jin announced, voice filled with worry. " You're a doctor, for crying out loud! You've gotta know that's not normal!"
Kai gave a growl, feeling a nasty headache attacking. " Kon, stop fussing around me."
Ray's eyes lit into a determined, almost furious flame. " Well someone has to, when you're not taking care of yourself!"
For a longest time the two stared at each other with slightly squinted, challenging eyes, neither willing to give in. Ray was taken by surprise when it turned out to be Kai who looked away first.
That confirms it. Something's definitely wrong with him.
" Okay then", Kai muttered, sounding like he'd been hissing. " I'll take those damn tests if it makes you get off my back."
Feeling much more relief than pride over his victory, Ray smiled slightly and nodded. " Good." He slowly got up, and gave Kai a worried look he hoped the Russian didn't notice. " Meet me tonight when your shift ends, 'k?"
Kai rolled his eyes. " Yes, mom."
With Ray gone, Kai furrowed his eyebrows and almost subconsciously rubbed his abdomen, as it felt strange again. It was almost like… something had been moving in there.
He was still a mess after Tala's death – hell, whenever he was alone, he spent the time crying, and it was almost impossible to get up from the bed in the morning. And at all other times he buried himself to work; if he counted right, he spent roughly about sixteen hours of a day a in hospital. But this… this definitely wasn't something to do with his grief, of that he was sure.
What the hell's the matter with me?That evening, Kai reluctantly followed Ray to a room they both knew to be quiet and empty.
After all he'd been through in the Abbey, even the mere thought of being tested like some guinea-pig made him sick. But the logical part in his brain knew that this was necessary. Something was wrong, and he had to know what it was.
" I'll just take a simple blood-test, there's nothing more to this. Take a seat", Ray advised him while preparing a needle.
" I believe I know the thrill, having done quite many blood-tests myself", he grumbled rather moodily, but took a seat nevertheless, trying not to look on as Ray prepared his arm for the blood-test. Yes, he knew Ray was only being a friend, but that didn't ease the terror needles and being tested like this awakened in his chest. " Besides, I'm not a five-year-old."
" Then don't act like one", Ray bit back. " Okay, relax. This shouldn't sting too much."
Ray was confused by the tingling sensation touching Kai's soft, pale skin brought into his entire body. The thought was, however, washed away when he felt Kai start to shiver. He gave a small frown when seeing Kai's widened, panicked eyes. " You okay?"
Receiving a nod as reply, he gently and carefully pushed the needle through Kai's skin. Kai's shivering immediately became a lot worse, and it wasn't until then Ray realized. " Kai", he called out. " Hey, look at me." Gradually, the widened auburn eyes met his. " This'll be over in just a second, 'k?" He smiled slightly. " I'd never hurt you, you must know that."
Kai nodded and seemed to relax a little. Couple of seconds later, Ray had gotten all the blood he needed and vigilantly pulled the needle out of Kai's arm, gently putting a small bandage on the slightly bleeding puncture-mark. " There."
" I thought you'd take all my blood", Kai groaned, trying to get up. His head, however, wasn't quite co-operative, and he blinked, swaying slightly. " Uh…"
Almost instinctively, Ray protectively wrapped an arm around Kai, steadying the Russian up. Both felt strange, unnerving shivers run through them as they stood in silence for a while, so close that noses almost touched, feeling each others' warm breaths.
It took for a long while before Ray finally realized what he was doing and let go of Kai, feeling almost reluctant to do so. " I… The results should be ready in a week… or so."
Kai nodded, not meeting his gaze, and rubbed the bridge of his nose. " I know." The Russian then started to walk towards the door, giving him one more look. " Thanks." So saying, he was out.
For a longest time after Kai's departure Ray simply stood frozen, staring at the door the Russian had walked through with deeply confused, almost scared eyes, wondering…
Many hours later, Ray finally opened the door of he and Mariah's small apartment. " Kitten, I'm home."
Mariah immediately emerged from the room where she'd been writing her newest book. Almost possessively she wrapped her arms around him, and kissed him gently. " Hey", she purred, burying her face into his chest. " Where were you? I thought your shift ended hours ago."
All of a sudden, Ray felt very uncomfortable. He tightened his hold on her slightly. " I… needed a moment to think."
Mariah looked at him, catlike eyes filled with understanding. " Patient?"
He simply nodded, unable to speak. As Mariah reached out to kiss his neck (which was something she did every time he came home from anywhere), he blinked his eyes to keep tears from coming and absentmindedly stroke her pink locks.
Why did her touch suddenly feel so… wrong? It almost felt as though her gentle fingertips would've made painful burn-marks to his skin.
What the hell's going on with me?
Five days later, the former Bladebreakers had yet another traditional meeting in the living-room of Tyson and Hilary's house.
Once again, Max was too busy to show up.
" I'm becoming suspicious here", Tyson announced slyly. " When I called Max yesterday to ask if he was going to show up, he was out of breath and sounded… well, weird."
" And simply because
of that, you're assuming that he's having a top secret affair?"
Hilary asked, sounding amused. She scolded under her breath when
spotting her navy-haired, brown-eyed son sneaking towards her
precious collection of fine china. " Theo Andrew Granger, don't
you dare touch those!" she growled, effectively making the child
change his mind. " Thank you."
" Wow", Kenny whistled
respectfully. Looking at his own small daughter, who slept peacefully
in his arms, he sighed. " I'm definitely the worst
discipline-keeper there is. I mean, Emily had to go to work for one
day, and I'm already in trouble with this little angel! It took for
over two hours to convince her to sleep."
Tyson smirked. " Not such angels when they grow up, huh?"
Ray smiled to his friends, then look at Kai and frowned. The Russian had a distant look in his eyes while he rubbed his abdomen. " Kai? You okay?"
Blinking his eyes – almost like waking up – Kai nodded. " Yeah, just… thinking."
Ray could tell Kai was lying, but decided to leave it there; Kai would've killed him if he'd started an interrogation before their nosy ex-team-mates. Besides, the tests had been made. Soon they'd know what was wrong with Kai.
He jumped in frighten when his cell-phone suddenly rang. His blood turned icy when he noticed the phone-call was from a hospital. " Sorry guys, but I've gotta take this." Once he was out of earshot – ignoring the questioning glances sent his way – he picked up, almost holding his breath in growing anxiety. Was this the phone-call he'd been waiting for five days? " Dr. Ray Kon."
" This is nurse Jodie Spearce", a frisky female-voice told him. " I just phoned over the inform that Kai Ivanov's test-results have arrived."
What the gang didn't know was that from a car parked across the street, someone was watching Kai rubbing his abdomen. There was a sound of cell-phone ringing.
" Yes?"
" This is nurse Jodie Spearce. I called to inform that the test-results you inquired have now arrived."
Eyes flashed. " And…?"
" Of course I'm not a doctor or anything, but…" There was a doubting pause. " As far as I can see, it seems you were right. Kai really is pregnant." She sounded deeply puzzled. " How on earth did you know?"
A small, chilling smile revealed a flawless row of white teeth. " I just happen to be the type that knows a lot of things", he replied in a smooth voice. " Thank you for information."
Hanging up, he went back to looking at Kai, eyes gleaming dangerously. So it is finally happening. The perfect warrior is about to be born. A small sound that almost resembled to a laughter came from him. Soon, the entire world will bow down before me.
By the time Ray ran out of the house, the observer was gone.
Couple of days passed, and Kai kept feeling sick. Actually, it seemed that he was getting sicker by the day, and his belly seemed to have swelled slightly. Or was it just his imagination? Kai couldn't tell anymore. It seemed he'd gotten a bad case of paranoia.
But who could blade him? For the past couple of days, Ray had been acting… strange, to say the least. The neko-jin was clearly avoiding him, and whenever he tried to ask what was going on, Ray seemed to find a way to escape from his berating.
Ray had apparently gotten his test-results, and something was clearly badly wrong with him. He just hoped Ray would gather enough courage to tell him what it was before he'd end up into insanity.
Flushing the toilet after yet another morning of nausea, Kai almost jumped in frighten when the doorbell suddenly rang. It was in moments like this when he once again realized just how quiet the house was without Tala around.
Trying his hardest not to cry over the thought, he opened the door – and felt his heart almost stop beating when he saw the look upon the face of Ray standing behind it. The Chinese's eyes seemed almost scared and skin unnaturally pale, entire essence radiating shock. " What's wrong?" he immediately asked in almost wheezing tone.
He could actually hear Ray gulp. " Kai…" The neko-jin hesitated. " I think it's better if we go inside and sit down."
Kai could only nod, feeling his insides turn very cold all of a sudden. Without saying a thing they walked into living room, taking a seat on a couch.
Neither knew for how long the silence had lasted until Kai finally spoke. " Okay, spill it, will you? You're freaking me out."
Ray had to gather words for a long, long time before he finally managed to speak. The young man refused to meet his gaze. " I…" The neko-jin paused, finally looking at him. " Do you remember that you would've been made… medical procedures in the Abbey?"
Kai frowned, feeling chills run through him. Now this definitely wasn't good… " Yes. I was made some… operation when I was ten. Why?"
Ray gulped, gaze again straying from his. " Apparently, you were… given artificial organs. Female organs."
At that point, Kai was close to panic. His heart was racing so badly that he feared it might explode. " Ray… What the hell are you saying?" he managed to breathe out.
It took what seemed like eternity before Ray managed to look at him, and even longer until the neko-jin spoke. " I rechecked the test-results four times, but they were correct." The neko-jin gulped. " Kai, you're pregnant."
For a full minute Kai simply stared at Ray with huge eyes, heart still racing, brain unable to process all his thoughts.
Pregnant.
When that simple, seemingly harmless word finally registered, a huge tidal-wave of emotions went through his body.
Disbelief. Shock. Fear. Rage. Nausea.
" Oh… my… God…"
" Kai." Ray had to entrap his face between his hands to gain his attention. " Kai, listen to me. It's okay. Everything's going to work out, you hear me? It… it'll be alright."
Tears of shock, grief and panic ran down Kai's pale cheeks. " No, it won't", he whispered.
He'd lost Tala – the love of his life, the only one he'd ever love. And now… He was pregnant? Freak… He was a bloody freak…
This was just too much for him.
" I'll help you", Ray kept saying in a firm tone, doing everything he could to make sure Kai heard his words. " You won't be alone in this, I promise you. Whatever you choose to do, I'll support you. I won't judge you." He tried to smile, but it came out stiffly. " This is all probably overwhelming right now, but…"
" Ray", Kai cut the flood of speech. His words were choked due to tears. " I know that you'll be there, and I'm grateful for that. But now… I… I need a moment alone, 'k? I have to think."
Ray firmly shook his head. " No, I'm not leaving you alone right now. Not as long as you're in that condition."
" Just leave, please", Kai almost snapped, burying his face into his hands. " I'll call you later, but now…" He trailed off.
Ray had never in his life felt as helpless as he did when looking at Kai's slender form that shuddered from silent sobs. He hated even the idea of leaving Kai alone like that, but if he knew his friend at all, with staying he would only upset Kai more – and that would be harmful for both the Russian and the child he was carrying.
Reluctantly, moving slowly to give Kai a chance to change his mind, he got up, heading towards the door. " Remember to call me tonight, 'k? Otherwise I'll come over." Still moving slowly, he walked up to the front-door, desperately wanting to hear Kai asking him to stay. But instead the only sound his sensitive ears met were those sobs that tore his heart into pieces.
Kai hardly heard the sound of door being closed after Ray as he still sat almost paralyzed, sobbing hysterically.
What the hell was he going to do! He'd never been exactly parent-material. Heck, how was he supposed to know a single thing about looking after a child, when no one had ever been there for him when he was a kid? For his entire life, he'd been taught that emotions are weakness, all he'd been trained for was hurting others. Even learning to love Tala had taken him for years, and it had almost scared him to death, been more painful than anything he'd ever gone through. How could he ever learn to love a child, how would he dare to open up his heart again?
Besides, after Tala's death, he could barely take care of himself, and now… He was supposed to become a single-parent? God… He wouldn't be able to handle it, just couldn't. The pressure he now had was almost crushing him. There was no way he'd be able to look after a defenseless child alone!
Tala…
He stopped crying all of a sudden, eyes widening in understanding.
This child… was the last thing he had left of Tala. In this child… a part of Tala would still be alive. Perhaps he hadn't completely lost his husband after all.
But being a single-parent… Would he be able to take it?
He once again buried his face into his hands, continuing to cry. " What am I going to do?" he sobbed. " Tala, help me…"
Looking at Ray from behind her laptop, Mariah gave a deep frown. Sensitive cat's-senses weren't needed to tell that there was something wrong with her boyfriend. " Ray", she called out. It took for several moments before the young man looked at her, seeming slightly confused, almost like he'd woken up from a dream. " You've been staring out that window for two hours without moving. What's going on?"
Moving his gaze back to the window, Ray sighed heavily. " Just… work-stuff", he muttered.
Mariah's face formed another frown. Ray had always been a horrible liar, but never that bad. What the hell was going on?
Ray's thoughts were whirling around as he watched the raindrops crawling down window-glass. Kai was pregnant. With Tala's child. He wished he could've said he was worrying about Kai, but truthfully, his worries weren't that selfless. He couldn't understand why the heck the thought of Kai being pregnant to someone else was suddenly bothering him so much. He was in love with Mariah, and had been happy for Kai and Tala when the redhead was still alive – right? So why the sudden jealousy – especially now, when he should've been able to help and support Kai, not brooding over his own emotions?
" I'm gonna make a phone-call", he eventually announced, walking out of the room before Mariah could ask any more questions.
Taking out his cell-phone, he quickly dialed the familiar numbers and waited impatiently, more than ever wanting the hear the soothingly familiar voice of his friend's. He gave a small hiss when there was a sound of answering-machine instead. " Damnit, Kai, where are you?" He sighed. " Just… Call me, 'k? I'm getting worried here. Bye."
Secretly listening to her boyfriend's tone as he spoke, Mariah gave another frown. It had been for ages since the last time Ray had spoken to her with such concern and affection.
Suddenly feeling very cold, she wrapped her arms tightly around herself.
What the heck is this?About three days later, Kai had a distant, almost glazed look in his burgundy eyes as he sat on a bench in a hospital, waiting.
While sitting, he absentmindedly watched three children, two girls and a boy, excitedly playing with a super-ball nearby.
All of a sudden, the ball bounced out of the petite, honey-hared girl's reach, bouncing onto Kai's feet. Sharply waking up from his deep thoughts, he watched the ball for a while before picking it up, confused expression upon his face. He became even further confused when there were sounds of approaching steps, and slowly lifted his gaze, looking into the girl's green eyes. It took him a while to realize that the ball was what the girl wanted, and, blinking his eyes, he handed it over. The girl gave him a small, shy smile before turning around and running back to her two playmates.
Still feeling deeply confused, Kai stared at the children – particularly that small girl – until there was a sound of door opening. Turning his head, he saw Ray peaking out of nearby room, small, comforting smile upon his face. " Come in."
Giving a nod – unable to form words – Kai numbly walked in and sunk to the rather uncomfortable-looking chair in the middle of the room. Soon enough, Ray walked up to him. " Obviously, this can't be done in the usual way. But… I can give you some medication that…" Ray trailed off for a while. " This probably feels slightly uncomfortable, but shouldn't hurt too much. You'll most likely experience some twinge-like pain, and possibly minor bleeding, but with some painkillers and rest you should be alright in a couple of days."
Again, Kai could only nod as his mouth had gone completely dry.
Seeing the way Kai was vacantly staring at some invisible spot in distance, Ray stopped talking and took a seat beside his best friend, gently taking Kai's hand. " Kai, are you sure this is what you want to do?" he asked softly, looking at Kai's almost teary eyes that were beginning to adapt a look of panic. " You know I'll support you, whatever it is you decide to do."
Ray's words echoed in Kai's ears as his thoughts whirred around.
Before seeing those three kids, he'd been sure that abortion was the best and only option – for both him, and especially the child. But now… He was slowly beginning to realize there was a real, living being inside of him. A huge miracle – his own child. He and Tala's child.
And… He… he just couldn't do this, not to Tala. Not only because this child was the last thing he had left of his husband, but also because… In some strange level, abortion would've felt like he'd been killing Tala. And that thought was something he'd never be able to live with for the rest of his life.
He gave a huge, teary gasp, looking at Ray with panic-filled, teary eyes. " Ray, I… I can't…"
The neko-jin smiled and squeezed his hand, giving a reassuring smile. " Alright."
He sniffed, a couple of tears rolling down his dangerously pale cheeks. " God, I'm so scared… I just don't know…"
" Shhh…" Ever so gently, Ray wrapped his arms around him, holding him close. " You won't have to do this alone, Kai. Ever. I'll be with you, every step in the way."
And so they sat for a long time, Ray holding Kai's shivering form, and Kai finally shearing all his stress and fear, both wondering what direction their lives would take now.
TBC.
A/N: Phew! So, Kai really is keeping the baby. Thank goodness he has Ray to support him! Will there be love in the air…? And who the heck was that creep watching Kai?
Stick around for next chapter! And please, please review!