Content warnings: Self-hatred, guilt.

Hey, so I felt super bad for all the false alerts you all got about me having updated even though I hadn't, so here is another chapter! An actual update! Does this make up for it?

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The next day, halfway to Hargeon and under the full might of the noonday sun, all were gathered on the deck once more.

"You said yesterday you couldn't use Sky Magic because you don't know a dragon, right, Aki?" Wendy asked curiously.

Aki shook her head. "No, I know several. It's because I haven't met one, unlike Zeref-nii." Seeing their bemused expressions, she added, "I wrote some letters to Igneel and the others."

"You knew Igneel?!" Natsu shouted eagerly.

Aki, who had winced at his loud voice, rubbed her ears, nodding. "Yeah."

"And Grandeeney?" Wendy asked excitedly, scooting her chair closer.

"Yeah."

Natsu's eyes shined. "Where are they?!"

The smile faded from Aki's lips. "I- I'm not sure if I should say…"

His brows knitted. "Why not?"

Zeref spoke up quietly, "Because it's rather important that you don't know, or you might stop it without realizing the full consequences."

Natsu frowned. "What does that mean?"

"It means, you will meet again, but can't yet, and, if you knew, a vital, centuries-long plan might not come to fruition," Aki said carefully.

Wendy looked crestfallen, but Natsu seemed wholly undeterred. "What's this important plan?" he pressed. "What are the consequences?"

Zeref and Aki glanced at each other.

"Oi-" Natsu started, but Erza placed a hand on his shoulder.

"They're thinking if they can tell you. Just hold on a second before flying off the handle. Hold on," she added in a growl, seeing Natsu's mutinous expression.

He yelped, "Aye!" cowering before Erza's menacing aura.

A good few minutes later, Zeref and Aki looked back at them. "If we tell you," said Aki, "you can't-"

"-freak out," Zeref finished.

Wendy, pausing only a second, nodded; Natsu seemed to think for a minute before saying, "I'll decide whether to freak out after."

"Natsu-" Lucy started exasperatedly.

"That works out fine," Zeref said hurriedly, avoiding his brother's gaze. Catching Lucy's own eyes, he muttered, "If Natsu doesn't get his way, he'll use puppy dog eyes, and I haven't once survived that."

Aki giggled. "It's true," she attested, grinning at Natsu. "Though I usually did it with him."

"When both of you did it, it was just an instant KO for the rest of us," Zeref grumbled. He quailed as Aki shot him a second-long, puppy-eyed glance. "Ok, ok!"

Aki, satisfied, turned back to the rest. "This is a bit of a story, so be patient."

"I thought you couldn't tell us where they went?" asked Happy.

"We can't, but just the why of their disappearance is a long story," Aki explained. She shifted, then began, "So, in every Dragon Slayer there is something called a Dragon Seed."

Zeref picked up, "That seed matures with the Dragon Slayer. If the Dragon Slayer Magic is overused, it forcibly transforms the Dragon Slayer into a dragon."

"We'll become dragons?!" Natsu asked excitedly, eyes shining.

"Listen to the whole thing before you jump to conclusions!" Aki snapped, startling Lucy – this Aki hardly ever raised her voice, much less harshly, much less at Natsu. "It is most definitely not a good thing!"

"You may have heard how Dragon Slayers who have killed dragons and 'bathed in their blood'" —Zeref made quotation marks— "will gain strength from it, but that actually advances their Dragon Seed considerably, as well. With Dragon Eaters-"

"Dragon Eaters?" Wendy interrupted, horrified.

"Dragon Eaters are Dragon Slayers who have eaten dragon flesh, essentially a form of cannibalism," Zeref explained evenly. Apparently not noticing their faces, he continued, "Dragon Slayers who eat other Dragon Slayers also works for this, though those instances are even rarer."

Aki took over, "By doing so, though, one speeds up the germination of the Dragon Seed logarithmically. Dragon Slayers who have eaten their namesake – their very brethren – essentially sacrifice their humanity in return for being a 'Fourth Generation Dragon Slayer.' You know about the Generation system, right?"

"Yes." Erza, Natsu, Happy, Wendy, and Carla nodded.

"What about you, Jellal?" she prompted.

He shook his head.

"Well, the rundown is that 'First Generation' are Slayers who were taught by a Dragon, 'Second Gen' are those with a dragon lacrima implanted inside their bodies, and 'Third Gen' are those who have been taught by dragons and have a lacrima."

Zeref added, "You know Acnologia?"

"Of course we do," Lucy said a little peevishly, remembering the nightmare that had so nearly destroyed Tenrou Island.

He raised his hands in defeat, saying under his breath, "Just checking…"

Aki continued in his stead, "Acnologia once killed nearly every single dragon in existence, and, somewhere along the way, he turned into a full dragon."

"He used to be human?!" Happy blurted, shocked. Aki nodded.

"This is all fine to him," said Zeref, "but it is seen as a drawback. Transforming into a dragon means that one is forced to exist in a grey area, not fully anything, which is a problem with magic- don't ask why," he sighed, raising a hand to forestall Lucy's question. She puffed her cheek in annoyance. "Unless you know Trans-species Biotic Reformulation Theory very well, I doubt you would understand."

Lucy, knowing full well that he was right, hmphed, scowling at the raised eyebrows of the prodigy.

"As such," said Aki, "the Slayer is not quite a dragon, but not really human, either; they become undefined." She stopped, a vacant expression falling over her face. "So few have reached this stage and not murdered anyone that approached them that not much research has been done on it. Would be a lot of fun to." She pulled a notebook from thin air and began to scribble.

Zeref picked up, "Some Dragon Slayers who have dragonized can return to their human form at will – Acnologia, for instance, can switch easily between the two. On the other hand, Irene – no, you don't know her," he added as Erza opened her mouth, not looking at her, " – wasn't able to obtain that ability in over 300 years. Your dragons, Igneel, Grandeeney, Skiadrum, Weisslogia, and Metalicana, are all working on one of the very few ways to prevent this."

Aki, who had returned her notebook to her Reequip space, resumed, "We contacted them and Anna Heartfilia-"

"Heartfilia!?" Lucy and Natsu blurted, the others sharing their shocked expressions.

Aki grinned, bobbing her head. "Anna Heartfilia was in charge of a lot of it, including knitting Natsu's scarf." She laughed at Natsu's awed face. "It's not easy to knit magic resistant dragon scales; she was powerful, and very kind." She glanced sheepishly at Lucy. "It didn't really die out through the generations, apparently."

Lucy blinked, but Aki continued before she could speak. "So, we contacted them and formulated a plan, knowing what would happen to- to you all- to- if didn't- if- did… then- and…" she stuttered and trailed off, looking dazed.

Zeref finished for her, "-and sent you all off with them so that we didn't kill you." He spoke with such a tone of forced carelessness that Lucy winced; the rest of the group didn't comment. "It was a moment of clarity, so we had to arrange things."

Aki spoke up, eyes trained on the table, "I couldn't meet them then, so I never got to meet them at all. I was…" A tremor ran visibly up her spine, and she finished in a whisper, "I wasn't safe, at the- at the time." Wendy, looking concerned, patted her knee, and Aki gave her a forced, tremulous smile.

"That's the gist of it," concluded Zeref.

There was a silence, then Natsu asked, "So, where are they?"

"Natsu-"

Natsu ignored Lucy, impudent. "Well?"

Aki smiled sadly, her eyes rather dull. "Are you sure you want to know?"

"Of course-"

"Are you sure you can know and not interfere?" asked Zeref.

"I-"

"Are you sure the knowledge of their location and intentions won't be so much a blessing as a curse?" asked Aki.

"What do you-"

"We will tell you what you ask next," they said together, their expressions and tones shifting to seriousness, borderline severity. "Either don't ask, or ask and know you will receive the answer."

"Of course I want to know!" Natsu retorted indignantly.

"Wend?" Aki prompted.

Wendy took a second longer, but nodded slowly. "I want to know where they are – if they're ok."

Zeref and Aki sighed. "Alright," they agreed, "We'll tell you." Then, without preamble, they stated, "Each of your dragons are inside you."

Everyone fell off their chairs in dead shock.

"W-what does that mean?" Erza stammered, recovering first.

"We mean, they are inside each of you," the two repeated.

"That doesn't explain a thing!" Lucy exclaimed.

Natsu was staring enthusiastically down at his stomach, smoke blowing from his nose. "Igneel is in me?!"

"Yes."

"But- that's so awesome!"

"Grandeeney is… inside me?" Wendy breathed, looking down at her hands.

Aki grinned faintly.

"This is awesome!" Natsu cheered, pumping his fists. Zeref and Aki laughed, watching him with those honest smiles that Lucy only ever saw donned in relation to their brother.

But then Erza prompted, "What's the second part?" and their laughter immediately dropped.

"They are in your bodies to prevent the Dragon Seed from growing to fruition. Yes?" Zeref checked. They nodded.

Aki continued, "Well, to do that, a Dragon must enter the body of a Dragon Slayer via a secret art and sleep there. Their presence creates magical antibodies that prevent the Seeds growth. After enough time has passed, the Dragon Slayer is almost guaranteed to never turn into a Dragon."

"There are ways to force the transformation after this stage," said Zeref, "but only if the mage so desired."

"The alternative is to separate the Dragon Slayer Magic from its user through the use of a Separation Enchantment, but that isn't a viable option. It only lasts as long as the spell is being cast, and it separates the Slayer from their magic, which means that they can't use it – a problem for any mage," Aki explained.

"We're not seeing the issue with their dragons," said Jellal.

Zeref and Aki faltered. Eventually, Aki managed, staring at her lap, "The dragons, all five of them, are in your bodies for that reason, but there is a second reason…" She closed her eyes. "Being there prolongs their lives, which had been shortened considerably."

Wendy's hands flew to her mouth as Natsu shouted, "What?!"

"Acnologia used a spell that stole their 'life force,' or 'presence,'" Aki said quietly. "They would have died, but instead entered you."

"When they leave your bodies – in other words, when they are finished eternally halting the growth of the Seed – they won't last more than an hour or so," said Zeref, a tiny, emotionless smile contradicting the sadness in his eyes.

"They- they're going to die?" Wendy breathed, her face white. When they nodded, she slid off her chair to her knees, head in her hands. Aki, her expression wavering between blank and sympathetic, got up and sat – unable to squat – down beside her, patting her back rather vaguely.

Natsu, on the other hand, took an aggressive step forward, his fists raised. "They're not going to die! We can save them, somehow! We'll find a way!"

Zeref shook his head. "They most certainly will die. There isn't a way to prevent it. It's a borderline miracle they survived after Acnologia's attack."

Natsu wilted, turning from Zeref to Aki. "But- but-…"

"Why…" Erza began, looking as though she was starting to comprehend a logic puzzle, "why would knowing this make Natsu and Wendy want to stop this plan?"

Zeref hesitated, eyeing Natsu warily. "If they came out before having stopped the Seed…" He seemed to be trying to find someway to escape saying, speaking slowly, pausing every other beat. "…at… this point, they could…" He seemed to concede, saying robotically, "They would probably live a little while longer."

"Well, make them come out then!" Natsu yelled.

"We can't bring them out, and they can't come out," Aki said quietly, her head bent. "They're watching over you; they chose to do this."

"But-"

"Don't waste your life trying to do something impossible!" she interrupted, tone startlingly harsh, her face still hidden by hair. "You'd only be throwing away their enormous efforts and sacrifice. What they're doing isn't easy."

Natsu blinked, everyone else looking between him and Wendy. When he next spoke, it was a strangled growl.

He spun around and ran downstairs. Happy followed close behind.

Aki pulled her hand back as Wendy, head turned firmly away, got up, her clenched fists trembling. Without speaking, she followed Natsu below, Carla floating beside her, glaring at Aki and Zeref.

Erza, too, looked at Zeref and Aki. They met her gaze anxiously, clearly expecting her to berate them. "You two have a lot of burdens, don't you?"

Lucy nodded as both sets of onyx eyes widened.

"W-what?" Aki managed weakly.

Erza smiled gently. "You've both lived so long, and you have so many responsibilities to bear. It must be hard."

Zeref seemed unable to comprehend her words; Aki looked away, grabbing her elbow. "Nothing so impressive sounding," she muttered, an inexplicably hateful note in her voice.

"I think it is," Erza said, frowning.

"You don't understand…"

"Don't understand what?"

Aki's head was bent so far down that her chin touched her chest as she spoke. "We've… done too much evil to be pitied or praised…"

Erza's eyes narrowed. Ignoring Lucy's startled squawks, she strode forward, grabbing the front of Aki's archaic dress and lifting her from her chair. "What is with you idiots?!" she shouted. "You can't be at fault if you can't help it!"

Eyes deadened, shadows clouding over the spark that had been glimpsed behind them, Aki remained silent.

Erza snarled and dropped her. Towering over her, hands on her hips, she declared, "You two have done tons of good!"

They froze.

"You brought Natsu back to life, didn't you?!" Erza continued passionately, her red hair flying. "You protected him during this whole debacle! And you made a plan that kept Natsu and Wendy and the rest from turning into dragons!"

Zeref interjected, "Thusly ending their foster parents lives as soon as they might be reunited."

"You said that all five dragons chose to do this!" Erza retorted.

"And," Lucy spoke up, "you said that it overall extended their lives."

Erza nodded appreciatively at her. "You didn't want them to die. For centuries you did your tailedest not to hurt people, even though you were cursed to do so. You tried to be good. That's all that matters!"

"That's not true," Aki breathed.

"What's not true?!" demanded Erza hotly. "What about trying to be good through all sorts of torture is wrong?!"

Aki twitched.

"You were-"

Aki leapt to her feet, and Lucy couldn't help flinching backwards; her eyes were a striking shade of crimson, burning holes through them all, obliterating any goodwill they might send her way. "We didn't try to be good at all!" she was suddenly bellowing. "We intentionally hurt people all the time!"

"Aki-chan-" Lucy started, reaching out, but Aki, her eyes squeezing shut, didn't seem to hear her.

"Thousands of lives! We killed them all, gleefully, we enjoyed it! You don't understand! We knew that the demons we made to kill ourselves would hurt people, but we wanted it! We wanted it!" she repeated agonizingly, emphasizing each word. "We wanted to kill- to kill Me-! Kill Me- kill-" She shook her head, settling for, "We wanted death!"

Lucy noted how, well, contradictory Aki was as she recalled the past, apparently still unable to work out what she had been thinking as the curse had savaged her mind. Aki, on the other hand, steamrolled over the moment with the practiced ease born of those centuries, all but screaming, "We – weren't – good!"

"That's what the curse was!" Erza rebutted. "It made you want to do things you didn't want to do!"

"That's not an excuse!" Aki howled, her hands jumping to her hair.

"Aki-" Lucy started forward again, but was stopped by Erza's outstretched hand. She glanced at her expression; Erza was trembling, seeming to take Aki's refusal to be forgiven personally.

Zeref, meanwhile, face wholly blank, had moved to join his sister, ignoring everyone's gazes as he placed a hand on Aki's shaking shoulders. Eventually, her clenched fists holding her hair in front of her face, Aki choked out, begging, "Don't make us victims, please. We just- we don't deserve it."

"You do deserve it!" Erza asserted loudly, taking a step forward. "You do-"

"No, we don't!" Aki wailed, inexplicably petrified. Her legs buckled beneath her and she fell to her knees, her scarred fingers scrabbling over her head. "We don't deserve it, so stop saying that! Stop saying it!"

Zeref sat down beside her, taking her hands gently and guiding them away.

Aki didn't seem to notice, still wailing, "We can't deserve anything after all we've done! We don't want forgiveness! We're not asking for it! We don't deserve it! We don't- don't-" Her voice cracked, and she curled forward, her forehead pressed against the wooden deck.

Erza took a cautious step forward, then another. When neither Aki nor Zeref reacted, she crouched down beside them. "You do," she said firmly. "You do."

Aki shook her head weakly, piteously, whimpering. "We don't…" she cried softly, "we c-can't…"

"You do, and you know it."

"We don't deserve- we can't deserve anything!" she shouted with renewed vigor.

Erza contemplated her as Zeref continued to rub her back. Eventually, she said more than asked, "You're afraid of receiving forgiveness, aren't you? You hate yourself so much that the idea of being forgiven scares you." She paused. "You're just trying to punish yourself."

Aki trembled.

"Aki-chan," Lucy pressed, joining them on the deck.

"So what?" Aki bit out. "I can't- we didn't-"

She broke off as Erza lifted her from the floor, revealing her wide eyes, shimmering, the sunlight reflecting off them. "What-"

"I know you have scars," Erza said gently, hugging her, "and they won't ever really heal."

Aki shivered, trying to push her off, feeble arms unable to do more than bat at the Erza's strong grip. Zeref leaned forward, resigned to dragging her away.

"But they can fade, with time."

Aki's breathing hitched; Zeref paused, something no one saw, looking at Aki and Erza, flickering in his eyes.

"They can be treated with time, and with friends," Erza said softly, and Aki was no longer struggling against her embrace. "Forgiveness is something given by others, and you've received it; all that's left is to accept what you've been given." She leaned back, smiling softly. "You've finally reunited with your brother, and you can join Fairy Tail – make friends. You can live life properly again, sharing your burdens with others and helping them out likewise.

"Your scars will fade."

Aki shook her head, biting her lower lip, her broken eyes spilling the ocean.

"Mine did."

"That's ok-kay, for you."

"It's okay for you, too."

"I don't want to be okay!" Aki denied, struggling again, but so halfheartedly it was unclear what she really wanted.

"You do."

"That- I- It-" Aki floundered, scrambling to find some way to remain guilty, some way – any way to escape their words. "I do, but it's just selfish of me!" she blurted at last. "After all we've done, the people we've killed-!"

"The people your curse forced you to kill?"

"It-it's not- that's not-"

"Aki." Jellal stooped down beside them. "It's okay to want help." He glanced at Erza, grinning sheepishly; Lucy blinked in surprise. "Erza pounded that into me just a week ago."

Lucy suppressed a snort; it wasn't the time.

Aki shook her head weakly. "You're not like us."

"He was possessed and made to hurt, kill, enslave, and torture many, all the while aware of doing so," Erza retorted testily, ignoring Jellal's discomfort. "But he wasn't at fault, he was possessed."

Aki, Erza's grip almost completely loosened, finally jerked away, crawling onto Zeref's lap and curling into a ball. He held her, leaning slightly over her as if in protection from the sun. "I don't want to be forgiven," they heard her mewling, her voice muffled by folds of cloth.

"It's a good thing you don't need forgiveness, then, isn't it?" Lucy contributed.

Erza nodded at her. "You aren't bad people."

"We are."

"You aren't," said Erza, and Jellal agreed.

"You aren't, Aki-chan," Lucy contributed earnestly.

Aki sniffled. "But…"

"But what?" asked Erza.

"I- I never wanted- didn't know- thought-"

"Hmm?" Lucy hummed.

Aki trembled. After a minute, she buried her face deeper in Zeref's robes.

Zeref sighed. Holding her in his arms, cradling her as she sobbed silently into his chest, he stood.

"What about you, Zeref?" Lucy asked pleasantly before he could take more than a step toward the cabin.

He tilted his head at her, frowning. "What do you mean?"

"You're not at fault, either."

He looked wholly unimpressed. "I headed the project to bring Natsu back, disregarding the danger I was exposing Aki-ki to. Unlike her, I put her in danger even before we were cursed. She is one thing, but I'm quite another."

"But-" Lucy started, reaching a hand out.

She felt a ripple of magic, and the two disappeared.

Shaking her head morosely, she breathed a long, sad sigh. "It's going to take a long time before they realize that they deserve forgiveness, never mind that they don't need it."

"But we'll be there along the way," said Erza, and Lucy nodded, looking at the spot they had vanished.

"Yeah…" She smiled faintly. "Fairy Tail is the best place for them, after all."

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Next chapter, the Fairy Tail guild enters the scene. Or, I guess, the scene enters the Fairy Tail guildhall. Lots of... surprises... heheh...
I hope there aren't any inconsistencies in the explanation about their dragons, I always miss the smallest details. Is Jellal too bold so soon after Erza having smacked him into awareness? This just makes me think of that joke where Erza says she'll fight anyone who hates on Jellal and then puts Jellal in prison for violating that law. Although, now isn't the time to think of it, is it? That was a few chapters ago... Oh well. This is the A/N, which, as I understand it, is the place I'm allowed to put my inane ramblings for the general public to read if they feel so inclined. Anyways... See you in less than two weeks.