But at first… This is just… incredible! Back when I started with this story, I couldn't have imagined reviews like these ones even in my wildest dreams! Thank you from the bottom of my heart, guys! You can't even imagine how much your appreciation means to me! (HUGS)
Um… Still about the sequel. I afraid I honestly won't be able to write one – and I might end up leaving this story into a place where a sequel isn't even possible. (grins slyly) BUT… I do have a preposition, to which I'll get back to after this chapter.
Okay, okay, I know that you probably want to get on with the story, so here it comes. I hope this chapter doesn't suck!
Oh, btw! The song I used in this chapter is "Clocks" by Coldplay. Sadly, I don't own a single word of it. I just figured it'd fit here cutely.
¨
June
¨
/ Lights go out and I can't be saved
Tides that I tried to swim against
You've put me down upon my knees
Oh I beg, I beg and please, singin' /
¨
There was a carnival in town. Deciding that Kai needed a break from worrying about the safety of the twins and himself, Ray dragged the heavily pregnant Russian there with him. Even though Kai couldn't go into many rides because of his condition, they could at least walk around and enjoy the atmosphere. And it seemed he'd done the right thing; pretty much for a first time since Tala's death, Kai was actually having fun.
Neither knew for how long they'd been walking in companionable, comfortable silence when Ray's amber eyes suddenly lit up as he saw something. " Now that seems like fun!"
Looking towards the same direction, Kai saw a booth where one could win teddy-bears and other stuff by dropping cans with throwing balls at them. He snorted. " Are you serious?"
Ray faked a pout. " Oh, don't be a spoilsport!" the neko-jin playfully scolded him. " Back in my village, there's a carnival once a year. I take part into game just like that one every time." The Chinese smirked. " Perhaps I'll win a teddy for the twins."
Kai rolled his eyes, smile tugging the corners of his lips. " 'K then. As long as I don't have to do any throwing."
Grinning widely, Ray firmly graphed his wrist and dragged him along towards the booth. " How many throws?" the fat, greasy booth-handler, who seemed more bored than anything else, muttered, apparently more interested in flipping through his magazine than actually earning money.
" Just one", came Ray's reply.
Kai couldn't help but feel at least slightly fascinated as he watched Ray carefully pick a ball, amber eyes slightly squinted in concentration. Finally finding one that pleased him, Ray picked it up, almost like testing its weight with his hand. For a longest moment the neko-jin watched the irony cans through squinting eyelids, painstakingly measuring their distance and weight with his gaze. And then, hands moving as delicately as artist's, he threw with an exquisite movement of wrist. A small gasp of astonishment and admiration escaped Kai as he witnessed every single can come down with huge noise.
The man handling the booth, however, seemed indifferent, almost bored, as he half-threw Ray a beautiful, huge, white teddy-bear. " Here's your price."
Taking the teddy, Ray didn't even seem to notice the man. Laughter bubbling with joy, he pulled Kai close into a tight hug that made electricity run through the Russian's entire body and breath caught into his throat.
And all of a sudden, before either one of them could see it coming, their lips were only inches apart, both could feel each others' warm, erratic breaths. At that moment, Ray couldn't fight against the temptation that'd been gnawing him for months anymore. Closing his eyes, he placed his lips against Kai's, closing the Russian into a deep, passionate kiss.
Kai's mind was swimming, brain barely registering what was going on. He felt his heart beating furiously against his ribcage.
Ray's taste in his mouth, touch of the neko-jin's soft lips… All about it felt so right… Mowing without realizing what he was doing, he lifted his other hand and pushed his fingers through Ray's thick, silken locks. It was all so perfect, until certain face came lingering into his view.
Tala…Ray could hardly think, his ears were filled with the sounds of his beating heart and rushing, boiling blood. Never before had he felt the emotions kissing Kai brought him – he feared such intensity might make his heart explode. Gosh, he'd been waiting for so long …
He gave a moan of dissatisfaction when Kai suddenly pulled away. A deep frown spread across his features when he saw the look of utter shock upon Kai's paled face. " Kai? What's wrong?" His mouth went dry, heart sunk and shrunk painfully into a tight ball. " I thought…"
Gulping loudly, Kai took one step back, then another, visibly trembling. " Ray, I… I'm sorry…" So saying, the Russian whirled around and ran away.
Tears spilled to Ray's cheeks. " Kai, wait!" he screamed in a desperate, broken tone, but it was too late. Kai was already gone. " Kai!"
¨
/ Come out of things unsaid
Shoot, an apple off my head.
And the
Trouble that cant be named
The tiger's waiting to be tamed singin' /
¨
How Kai got into his new house, he had absolutely no idea. As soon as he slammed the door shut, he slumped powerlessly against the nearest wall and buried his face into his hands, tears dribbling from his eyes. His entire body was shivering violently, and his wheezing breath came out in short, irregular intervals, but he noticed none of this.
All he could feel and think of was the feeling of Ray's hungry lips against his own. And the only thing he could see was the neko-jin's face, filled with pain, hurt and betrayal.
How could I be so damn stupid! I… I should've known better…But… No matter how little he wanted to admit it to himself, that one moment had felt absolutely true, justified, almost like destiny itself had been guiding them towards it. And… Truth to be told, somewhere deep inside of himself he knew that he'd been waiting for that… encounter for a very, very long time.
Giving a shivering exhale, he lifted his trembling hand, looked at the amazing golden ring decorating it.
Three years earlier, Tala had given him that ring as a sign of promise – one that would last until eternity. But… That promise was now broken, shattered. At that moment, that ring was nothing more than a chain to him, kept him from living freely.
And… Perhaps it was time for him to break free.
Tears streamed down his face, and his hands were trembling worse than ever before in his entire life as he placed two fingers onto the ring, about to pull it away. Sobs escaped him. " Oh Tala… I'm so sorry …" Yet another sob came out as he gradually pulled off the ring. " I love you, always will. Never forget that."
When the ring fell off, his entire soul sensed a connection breaking.
He felt almost guilty by the sudden sensation of agonizing freedom that filled his heart. Tears still rolling, he carefully got up and gently put the ring onto a nearby table. " I wish it could've been eternity", he whispered.
For a longest time he watched the ring with tears in his eyes, fingers resting tenderly on it. At that painful, heartbreaking moment, he finally had to admit to himself that Tala was gone. That he was never going to see his husband – the father of his children – again.
After some minutes he finally managed to rip his hand away from the ring, realizing that there was something important he needed to do. He couldn't lose Ray, not before he would know for sure…
Determination in his eyes, he darted towards the door – but suddenly froze with a terrified gasp and leaned against the wall when feeling a strange wave of pain, clutching to his stomach. Looking down, he saw that his pants had strange wetness on them, and gave another gasp of realization, beginning to shiver all over again. " Oh God… Please, not yet, not now…"
But it was happening. His child-water had broken. He was in a labor – two weeks earlier than he should've been.
And like that wouldn't have been bad enough, there were sounds of approaching steps from behind him, followed by a familiar voice. " So, grandson, it is finally happening."
Eyes widening, he turned his head to see Voltaire standing right behind him. Despite resistance, a gasp of shock escaped him. " Voltaire… No… You… you're dead…", he managed to utter, then gave a small meow of pain and squeezed his eyes tightly shut as there was a sharp assault of pain in his abdomen.
" Oh no, grandson. The fire of the Abbey wasn't enough to kill me. You see, just like you, I'm a phoenix. And phoenixes always rise from the ashes. Unfortunately, however, Boris Balkov wasn't so lucky." The elder then gave him an almost content look. " The contractions have started, I see. It is almost time. Excellent."
Gritting his teeth as another contraction came, Kai slowly forced his eyes back open and glared at his grandfather over his shoulder. " What the hell are you doing here?" he hissed.
Voltaire walked closer, he could already sense the sickening smell of the man's cologne. " What do you think? I came to collect what is mine. Those twins are property of Biovolt-corporation, you see." There was a chilling glimmer in Voltaire's eyes as the man pulled out a long knife. " Eight and a half months was a long time to wait, but I believe it was well worth it. You and Tala were my best soldiers. Twins conceived by you two… will be perfect."
¨
The French cemetery was almost deadly quiet at that beautiful spring-day as Oliver looked at the fresh tombstone.
Jacques Aimé LefébvreDespite all the things his foster-brother had done, tears nevertheless slid down his pale cheeks. " Damnit, Jacques…", he whispered, wiping his cheeks with a trembling hand.
He almost yelped in surprise when a hand was placed onto his shoulder. Turning his gaze, he felt his eyes widen when he met Max's sympathy-filled gaze. " Oliver…" The American gulped, staring at his shoes, almost like ashamed. " I… I'm sorry…"
Despite his instincts that told him to throw his arms around Max and hold the blonde close, Oliver stood still, unable to make his muscles move. A hint of doubt whispered in the back of mind.
During the past month – as soon as he'd managed to convince Max to return to the orphanage after two day's stay in Kai's new apartment – they'd been having what was close to thousands of fights over the issue of Jacques. The quarrelling had only ceased a bit over two weeks back, when Oliver had received a devastating phone-call from Mr. Dickinson. Jacques had been stabbed and thrown out of a moving car, and it had been most likely that he wouldn't make it. By the time Oliver had managed to convince himself into going to the hospital, Jacques had already passed away.
And in the middle of all this turmoil, he'd completely forgotten about Jacques' warning…
He looked at Max's face as the blonde stared at the tombstone. " I thought you said you wouldn't come", he noted in a near-whisper.
Max's eyes flashed, but the American didn't look at him. " As you very well know, I would've had my reasons. But…" Their gazes met. " I had to. For you."
And to be honest, Oliver did understand, more than well. " He sold you out to Voltaire, you and your friends." He gulped harshly. " You… almost died." There was a long pause before the French managed to compose himself enough to carry on. " I will never forgive Jacques for that", he whispered, tears still in his eyes. " But… I'll miss him nevertheless. I mean…" He couldn't find words.
Luckily, words weren't necessary. Nodding, Max wrapped his other arm around him, pulling him close. Sighing contentedly, Oliver buried his face into the blonde's shoulder, grateful for the support. They stood in silence for a long time before he finally spoke. " You know… I'm sorry too."
Max shook his head. " It doesn't matter now", the blonde replied softly.
They remained in silence for another while, until Max noticed the envelope he was holding in his trembling hand. " What's that?"
Oliver's eyes went teary once again. " It's… Jacques… left it for me…" He gave a shuttering sigh. " I haven't dared to open it up just yet."
Max smiled. " Wanna try now?"
Gaining strength from his husband's soothing presence, Oliver nodded, feeling certainty flooding through his veins. His hands, however, still trembled as he slowly ripped the envelope open and fished out the letter.
Despite its shortness, the letter had a massive impact on Oliver. His face fell completely pale, and he gave a huge, choked gasp. " Oh my God…"
Feeling worry fill his entire soul, Max frowned. " Oliver? What's the matter?" The worry turned into anger, almost rage. " What did he say?"
Unable to form words, Oliver handed the letter to him, eyes radiating complete, utter shock. As Max read the few words, he soon got the same expression. " Oh shit…"
As realization slowly but surely filled Max's mind, the shock turned into absolute panic. His eyes were widened as he looked at Oliver. " We've gotta call Kai, now!"
¨
/ You are
You are /
¨
Ray had no idea of where he was or for how long he'd been aimlessly walking around when he finally slumped to a bench, legs unable to carry him any longer. A part of him expected tears to flood, but he was too much in a shock to cry, to process all the feelings whirling inside of him.
Seeing him sitting there – face ashen and shivering all over, arms wrapped around himself – people gave him looks of pity while passing by, but Ray was oblivious to them.
Everything was so bizarre, surreal… Kai's words echoed inside Ray's mind like a cruel chant.
" Ray, I… I'm sorry…"He took a desperate gasp of air, feeling like he'd been suffocating. " Damnit…"
Damn Kai! Or no, damn him for being such an idiot! How could he ever have been insane enough to think Kai might actually feel that way for him, that Kai would ever love anyone but Tala?
He almost fell off the chair with frighten when his cell-phone suddenly rang. Seeing that it was Max, he hesitated for a long moment before picking up. If the blonde had once again been fighting with Oliver… Well, he wasn't exactly in the condition to console anyone at the moment. But some voice in the back of his mind made him pick up. " Y – yeah?"
" Ray, listen to me! Something horrible is going on!" Max's voice was frantic, almost horrified.
He immediately tensed. " What… What's wrong?"
" Voltaire… He's alive!" Ray wasn't sure if it was a sob and pant he heard. " I… I tried to call Kai, but… He won't answer… Ray, I think something's terribly wrong!"
But Ray wasn't listening. Hanging up, he was running before he could even think what he was doing, driven by sheer desperation. And all he could do was pray that he wouldn't be late…
¨
In his home, Kai felt yet another contraction and gave a feral growl, backing away as Voltaire approached with the knife. " Stay away from my children, you piece of shit!"
Voltaire gave a laughter. " And who is going to make me? You, in that condition?" Voltaire shook his head, coming closer. " Just stay still, grandson, and this will be much, much less painful. Make this easy on us both"
Seeing the knife flying towards his bump, Kai instinctively hunched down, protecting the unborn babies. Loud yelp of pain escaped him when the knife plunged into his shoulder, terrifyingly close to his neck. He could feel blood pouring down his back, and had to go down to all-fours as his view started to spin.
Just as he was about to sink into darkness, a new voice gained his attention. There was a frantic knock on his door. " Kai! I heard you scream, are you alright?" came a familiar, terrified voice.
Ray…, Kai dizzily realized, blinking his eyes.
" Ray…", he tried to shout out, but all that came was a wheeze. Tears of pain, frustration and fear rolled down his cheeks as the pain of another contraction mixed with one radiating from the stab-wound. " Help …"
He gave a choked meow when Voltaire roughly graphed his hair. " You know, it was almost a shame to kill Tala – but not even nearly as much as it is to kill a true fighter like you."
No written word could ever describe the inhuman hatred that rose in Kai's chest. " What?" he breathed out.
" You really thought Tala died accidentally?" The man laughed. " Oh, grandson, you should know by now that there are no such things as accidents. However, I was afraid that I'd been too hasty with… taking care of him. Fortunately he had already fulfilled his purpose and got you conceived. I am amazed it took him for almost three years to get the job done."
Tears of rage and sorrow rolled down Kai's cheeks. Had he possessed even a single ounce of the required strength, he would've killed Voltaire with bare hands, ripped the man's eyes out. " You… bastard…", he hissed. " Low piece of shit…"
As Ray heard no reply, the knocking became even more frantic. " Kai, are you alright in there! Kai!"
Behind Kai, Voltaire gave an irritated hiss. " Damnit… Why do those idiots have to stick their noses into everything?"
Realizing that Voltaire's concentration had broken, Kai moved as fast as his rapidly blurring vision allowed him to, and graphed a nearby huge vase. Before Voltaire could even guess anything coming, the vase connected with his head, and the tall man came crashing down.
Knowing that this was probably his only chance to escape, Kai gathered all the little strength left within him and begun to half-crawl towards the door, feeling unimaginable pain flooding through him. But the pain soon became numb and hollow as he begun to drift out of consciousness. Black dots danced upon his vision.
He'd have to get out fast, or it would be too late.
He was already just an inch from the floor, when a massive pull suddenly made him stumble to the floor. He cried out in the pain it caused, feeling like he'd been torn into pieces. Turning his blurry gaze, he saw Voltaire behind him. Blood was rolling down his grandfather's face as the man held on to his ankle. " You're not going anywhere", the man growled, then plunged forward, obviously aiming for his belly.
" No!"
As Kai shifted to shield the twins and the knife was plunged into his bag, he was almost too weak to even realize what was happening, much less to scream out in pain. He simply stared with hazy eyes as a stream of his blood started to form a pool to the floor.
With that, his eyes slipped closed and everything started to go dark around him. He could absently hear the noise of door being crushed and shouting, followed by a sound of gunshot, before he fell lifelessly to the floor, unable to support himself up for another second. And soon enough everything was dead-silent.
¨
/ Confusion never stops
Closing walls and ticking clocks
Gonna come back and take you home
I could not stop but you now know, singin' /
¨
By the time Ray had dashed all the way to Kai's house, panting more heavily than ever in his life, he'd already dialed 911, desperately screaming out for help. When Kai's yell of pain had reached his ears and it'd became chillingly quiet, he'd feared that no matter how fast the police would arrive, it'd be too late. It seemed to take eternity before the police finally got there, and much longer before the cursed door had been taken down.
As Ray frantically rushed into the house, he didn't even notice Voltaire's body that laid on the floor with a bullet-hole on its head. All he could see was Kai's horrifyingly still, bleeding form almost right behind the door. He'd never felt such panic he did when rushing to the Russian's side. " Kai!"
" Hey, what do you think your doing?" one of the police-men snapped. " Get out of our way, we're professionals!"
" I'm a doctor!" Ray snarled back, then shifted his attention back to Kai. " Kai, can you hear me?" He desperately searched for a pulse, which was so feeble that it made him cry. His hand was trembling as he stroked Kai's cold cheek. " P – please, open your eyes… I'm begging you…"
It wasn't until then he realized that he really was a doctor. It took all his self-control, but eventually he managed to fight the panic away. Moving fast and determinedly, he ripped a huge slice from his shirt and pressed it against another one of the deep wounds.
The bleeding… You have to make the bleeding stop, he kept telling himself, over and over again.
Finishing the bandaging, he suddenly noticed that some of the sticky liquid on Kai's pants definitely wasn't blood. Teary eyes widened, and a huge gasp escaped deep from his throat. " Oh… God… No, no, not now…" But his conclusion was a correct one; Kai was in a labor.
Just then there were sounds of approaching running steps and clattering. Turning his head in confusion, he discovered that three medics were rushing towards him. Apparently, one of the police-men had called for an ambulance at some point.
He was in too much of shock to put up a fight when he was brutally pushed away from Kai. Eyes widened, he stared as the medics worked frantically on the Russian, shivering all over. " Please, help him…", he whispered to no one in particular. " Please… I can't lose him…"
¨
/ Come out upon my seas,
Curse missed opportunities
Am I a part of the cure
Or am I part of the disease, singin' /
¨
Ray had no idea of for how long he'd been sitting in the hospital's waiting room. As soon as the ambulance had reached the hospital, Dr. Perez had been there to meet them and wheeled Kai away from him. Now… All he could do was wait.
" Ray?" Startled by the sound, he snapped his head up to meet a pair of worried hazel eyes. " Ray, are you alright? What's going on?"
" W – what?" He blinked his eyes in confusion. " How… how did you knew to come here?"
Hilary smiled slightly, worry in her eyes. " You called me, remember? You said you were in a hospital, that Kai was hurt."
Ray frowned, thinking furiously. Yes, he remembered dialing numbers, hearing Hilary's voice…
It wasn't until then he realized the state he was in. His clothes were covered with Kai's blood. Tears were streaming down his cheeks – he remembered starting to cry when seeing Kai, and doubted he'd ever stopped.
But at the moment, he couldn't have cared less about what he looked like. All he could think about was Kai, that he might end up losing the one that meant to him more than anyone else in the entire universe…
" Oh my gosh, Ray!" came Tyson's frantic voice as he stormed in. The bluenette was panting heavily, midnight-blue eyes widened. " What the heck is going on?"
It took Ray a while to realize that the question was directed to him. He sniffed. " K – Kai… Voltaire attacked him, he was hurt…" His mouth kept forming inaudible words.
Tyson frowned. " Voltaire? But… Isn't that bastard dead?"
Ray couldn't speak.
Realizing that Ray wasn't going to be able to tell anything more, Hilary directed her attention to Tyson, desperately grasping onto the last bits of her self-control and sanity. " Did you call Kenny?"
Tyson nodded, blinking his eyes, seeming an inch from tears as the gravity of the situation begun to hit him. " Y – yeah… Emily will be watching over Theo, Kenny's on his way here."
She nodded, feeling like crying herself. " Good."
All three were startled when the door opened and someone stepped in. Ray was immediately up from his seat when noticing that it was Dr. Perez. The neko-jin's amber eyes were filled with utter desperation and pleading. " Is Kai going to be alright?" he almost whispered.
The doctor gave a deep sigh. " As you probably noticed, he had quite a blood-loss. We will be able to save the twins with a surgery, but…" The man swallowed harshly. " It's still a touch and go for Kai, I afraid."
Those words swept Ray off his feet. Giving a loud gasp, he slumped to his seat, teary eyes widening. It took a long while before he got himself at least slightly composed and looked back at the doctor, feeling his entire body shivering. " Can… can I see him?"
The doctor's eyes filled with sadness. " I'm sorry, but… He's just being prepared for a surgery. We'll be taking him into OR in just a second."
Tears streamed even harder down Ray's cheeks as he opened his mouth for a loud, heated protest. However, he only found strength for one word. " Please…"
At first, Dr. Perez almost said 'no', but then realized that there was no way he could be that cruel. Almost crying himself upon seeing the neko-jin's heart-shattering pain, he nodded. " Alright. But I can only promise you one minute."
With Ray gone, Hilary finally gave herself a permission to break down. Giving a heartbreaking cry, she buried her face into Tyson's chest and clung to the bluenette's shirt tightly, desperately, like it'd been the only thing keeping her alive. Also crying, Tyson's gently stroked his wife's back, burying his face into her soft hair.
¨
/ You are, you are
You are, you are
You are, you are /
¨
No matter how hard Ray had steeled himself in beforehand, he still gave a small cry of pain when seeing Kai.
Gosh, he'd never seen the Russian so pale, so incredibly fragile… Too busy with trying to stabilize Kai and preparing him for a surgery, the doctors hadn't had time to clean him up. The blood all over his body made the scene thousand times worse. " Kai…", Ray gave a moan through still spilling tears. Not giving a damn about Dr. Perez, who subtly left the room, he walked up to Kai and slumped to the chair that'd been thankfully placed beside the Russian's bed, his legs unwilling to do their work anymore.
At first, he was too afraid to touch Kai, as he feared that even a merest brush of fingers might shatter the glass-fragile Russian. But then – all the pain in his chest becoming too much to handle – he took Kai's cold hand into between both of his and pressed his forehead against it, tears still rolling. " I… I don't give a damn if you hate me for kissing you, but… Please, come back… You have to come back… I need you…"
¨
/ Nothing else compares.
Oh, no nothing else compares
Oh, no nothing else compares /
¨
" Please, come back… You have to come back… I need you…"Surprised, Kai fluttered his eyes open. Who had spoken?
Feeling lightheaded and confused, he rubbed his face, trying to clear his head. A gasp of shock immediately escaped him when he found that his stomach was flat. " What the heck…?"
For some odd reason, the thought didn't manage to disturb him for that long. He looked around, and blinked his eyes when noticing that everything around him was gray.
Where the hell am I?" Somewhere you shouldn't be", came a familiar voice he'd though he'd never hear again.
His eyes widened, and for a long moment he was absolutely still, too afraid to turn his head. Eventually he managed to brace himself and peered over his shoulder. Never before had such smile been seen on his lips they had as he recognized the one who'd spoken. " Tala!"
True enough, the redhead was standing right behind him, wearing a pair of white pants and a also white shirt. For some reason, the smile upon Tala's lips was a sad one, his ice-blue eyes radiated tremendous grief.
Oblivious to his husband's odd expression, Kai tried to caress his face – but gasped once again as his hand went straight through Tala. Eyes widening and face adapting an expression absolute horror, he looked at the redhead, finding himself shivering. " Tala… What… what is this?" he choked out.
It was easy to see that Tala was close to tears. " This place isn't real, Kai."
He had to blink furiously to keep tears from coming. " Then… Where are we?" he whispered.
" It doesn't matter." Tala's voice was filled with indescribable pain, as was his face. " Kai… Listen to me. You… you don't belong here."
" I belong with you!" Kai was suddenly screaming, something close to panic flooding through his veins. " You… You can't make me leave you!"
A single tear that shone like a crystal slid down Tala's cheek. " You have to go back, for the twins – and Ray."
He blinked dazedly, something strangely familiar fluttering in his chest. " Ray…"
" Please, come back… You have to come back… I need you…"Tala seemed to be shivering from pain. " This isn't reality, love. That is." Another tear pushed its way through to Tala's pale skin. " You shouldn't be here… I… I have to let you go."
The sharp, all-consuming pain inside Kai was so intense that he feared he might simply shatter to pieces. A soul tear escaped his eye. " You've always been the stronger one of us."
Tala smiled through his tears. " No I haven't", the redhead whispered, voice filled with softness. " I've spent a lot of time watching you. I would've never made it as far as you did." The smile faded, and Tala's eyes once again filled with pain. " Kai… I know how much you and Ray… care about each other… I think I always did, and… it scared me to death. I… I thought I'd lose you… But… I can't let you keep lying to yourself anymore, not when I'm… gone. You deserve to be happy – with him. I won't keep you from having that."
Kai's mind was spinning. " What… What are you talking about?"
Tala smiled sadly. " You have to go back to find out."
Kai gave a heart-wrenching cry when a white light suddenly begun to surround him. " No!" he called out, desperately reaching his hand out towards Tala, eyes glimmering. " I… I don't want to leave you!"
Once again, tears could be seen on Tala's cheeks. " If you ever really loved me, then move on", the redhead whispered in a slightly trembling tone, also reaching out a hand towards him. " Goodbye."
For this one, bittersweet moment their hands brushed together, and for one last time they got to feel the touch of each others' skins. Then the white light engulfed Kai, and he faded away.
¨
Kai gave a deep frown when consciousness begun to rush back into his mind. He could hear this irritating, ear-piercing beeping, a familiar sterile smell came to his nose.
Am I… in a hospital? But… Why…? What the heck happened?He gave a small, soft meow of pain and grimaced when horrible, stabbing pain went through his body, from near-neck to stomach and lower back.
" Kai?" a familiar voice that sounded slightly blurry to him inquired. He could feel someone graphing his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. " Are you awake?"
It required far more strength than he'd anticipated, but eventually he managed to inch his eyelids just enough to see Ray sitting beside him.
As Kai opened his eyes, Ray suddenly realized that perhaps the Russian wouldn't even want him anywhere near him. After all, he'd kissed Kai, making him run straight into Voltaire's hands. Feeling his chest tighten and eyes sting, he abruptly let go of Kai's hand and bounced up from his seat, deciding to leave. " I… I'm sorry…" He gulped, trying to swallow down the huge, smothering lump from his throat. " I… I just… go…"
He had already turned around to leave, when he suddenly felt Kai squeeze his hand firmly, determinedly. Giving a gasp of astonishment, he slowly turned around, hardly daring to believe what was happening. It wasn't until then he realized that Kai's hand squeezing his didn't have a ring on it. " K – Kai?"
The Russian's burgundy eyes were filled with tenderness and certainty as they bored into his. " I don't want you to go", Kai whispered. " I never want to see you walk away from me."
Completely stunned, Ray ungracefully fell back to his chair, still looking at Kai, amber eyes filled with disbelief and desperate hope. The look in Kai's eyes left no room for questioning.
They'd have to take things very, very slowly – after all, they were both still terrified by their feelings, and Kai had just became a single-parent. But perhaps, just perhaps, they both had a chance for a new start after all.
Suddenly seeming to remember something, Kai gave a loud gasp, eyes filling with terror. " Where's Voltaire?" The terror turned into absolute panic. " And the twins…? Are they okay? Did I…?"
Smiling reassuringly, Ray placed a finger onto Kai's lips to keep the Russian from talking. " Voltaire is dead", he explained, smile widening. " And the twins are both alright – though they've missed you during the hours you were out. You did amazing job with protecting them." He grinned. " Would you like to meet your son and daughter?"
Kai nodded, obviously speechless, seeming to be on the verge of tears of utter joy. As the Russian carefully pushed himself into a sitting position – hissing in pain – Ray walked to the side of the room, where two tiny newborns were sound asleep in their small beds. Carefully he pushed the babies' beds right next to Kai's, gently lifting the little-ones into their father's arms. The twins – obviously recognizing their papa – immediately cuddled close to the Russian.
Ray couldn't help smiling as he watched the way Kai held the babies in his arms. Looking at Kai's eyes, he saw such love in them that no written words would ever be able to express it. His smile widened when Kai gave a soft, tender laughter as the baby-girl demandingly graphed one of the Russian's fingers, squeezing it with all her might.
Carefully, not wanting to disturb either Kai or the twins, Ray sat to the edge of the bed. " Do you now have names for them?" he asked softly.
Looking at his children with love-filled eyes, Kai gave a small nod. " Tara Isabelle Ivanov", he whispered. " And Kian Lucian Ivanov."
Feeling Ray's arm gently, protectively wrapping around him, Kai had no intention to protest. Giving a content sigh, he rested his head against the neko-jin's shoulder.
He'd gone through a long, hellish road. But at that moment – with his newborn children in his arms, and being held by someone he was slowly learning to love – it was easy for him to believe that perhaps sometimes, life did offer second chances.
¨
/ You are
You are /
¨
When Ray entered the hospital-room about five days later, before sun had even properly rose, he couldn't help but smile widely at what he saw.
On the bed sat Kai, wearing his regular clothes as he was finally getting home with the twins. On his arms, the Russian held his tiny baby-son, feeding the child with a bottle while singing softly in Russian. Even though Kai had been terrified about the idea of single-parenting in beforehand, at that moment he looked like he'd been a parent forever.
Still smiling, Ray shook his head. " I should've known", he stated, making Kai aware of his presence. " You're perfect even when it comes to parenting."
He wasn't sure if it was just his imagination, but he could've sworn he saw a small blush briefly flash on Kai's cheeks as the Russian lifted his gaze and stopped singing, smiling. " Hey."
Walking up to Kai, Ray carefully planted a kiss onto Kai's forehead, testing how the Russian would react to it. Even though they'd grown… well, closer during the past days, they still had to advance really slowly, and he wasn't sure of what was still off limits.
Kai, however, smiled and snuggled slightly closer to him as he carefully took a seat, looking at baby-Kian in Kai's arms. " Have you been nice to papa?" he asked the child, gently brushing the baby's toes with his fingers.
Kai's smile widened. " These two have been real angels", the Russian replied. " Whenever one gets hungry, the other is sound asleep. I just tugged Tara to bed." Kai looked at him with soft, almost gentle eyes. " Besides, I have an army of overprotective aunts and uncles helping me."
Ray nodded, and after that comfortable silence lingered between them.
Looking at Kai, Ray found himself frowning. Even though Kai had recovered incredibly quickly from both the emergency-caesarian and the injuries Voltaire had caused him, Ray knew that taking care of the twins didn't do any good to the healing stab-wounds. And though Kai would never complain, he was almost sure that the wounds were throbbing like hell. Huge black bags could also be seen underneath Kai's fiery eyes – evidence of sleepless nights. " You didn't sleep at all last night, did you?" he asked, not stated, in a knowing tone.
Seeming a bit guilty, Kai sighed, looking at his son. " I… I had a nightmare, and… I was afraid that… that Voltaire would come and take the twins away."
As soon as the cursed name left Kai's lips, a small, shrill cry came from the small bed not too far away. " Oh Tara…" Seeing that Kian had almost fallen asleep, having finished eating, Kai gently held the baby out for Ray. " Would you hold him for a minute?"
Ray couldn't disguise his surprise. As far as he knew, even though he – and the entire gang, especially Hilary – had been helping Kai since the day the twins had been born, Kai had never allowed anyone else to hold the babies. This was a huge step for the Russian, and probably required all his willpower and faith. " Of course", Ray whispered, and blinked his eyes when the tiny baby was carefully placed into his arms. " Gosh… He's so… small."
A smile appeared to Kai's lips. Giving him one more look, the Russian walked up to his daughter's bed, gently taking Tara into his arms. " Shh, sweetie, it's alright", Kai soothed, holding the baby close to his chest, allowing the girl to hear his strong, steady heartbeat. " Voltaire will never touch you… He will never come anywhere near you…" Hearing those comforting words, Tara slowly stopped crying and seemed to clung to her papa, having a small hiccup.
Ray watched the scene with a soft smile upon his face, until he suddenly felt something graph his finger. Looking down in surprise, he noticed that Kian had squeezed his tiny hand around one of his fingers, and now looked straight into his eyes. His eyes widened as he was encountered by the breathtaking ice-blue depths. " Wow…"
Both he and Kai were startled when the door was suddenly opened. Turning their gazes, they saw Dr. Perez stood by the doorway with a wide smile upon his face. " So, Kai… Ready to get out of here?"
Kai gave a deep sigh. " More than you would ever know…"
As soon as all the paperwork had been done and the sleeping twins were both safely in the car, Kai slid to the front-seat of Ray's car and closed his eyes, giving a deep sigh of relief. " Gosh it's good to get out of there!"
Ray smiled warmly. " I know. I can't believe they actually managed to keep you in there for this long."
Kai opened his eyes, thoughtful look in them. " The truth is…" The Russian suddenly paused, unsure, still not used to opening up to anyone else but Tala. " I think… I was afraid of being alone… with the twins. I mean, they're so small… What if I… break them?"
Another warm smile came to Ray's lips as he looked at the other. " Kai, that's only normal. I think every parent feels like that. But… I can assure you, everything's gonna work out. I've seen you with them; no one could ask for a better papa."
His breath was almost caught into his throat as he saw the way Kai's face lit up, almost like a sudden breeze had pushed dark mental clouds away. The Russian's mouth opened, but words 'thank you' refused to come out of his throat. Instead he gently brushed Ray's hand in a sign of deep gratitude. Signaling that he understood, Ray briefly squeezed Kai's hand before he had to put all his concentration onto driving again.
For a long, long moment they remained in this comfortable silence. Suddenly, a deep, thoughtful frown passed Kai's face. " Ray…" The voice was uncertain, the kind Ray had never expected to hear from the Russian's mouth. " This… this is my first night alone with the twins, so… Would you… stay? Just for one night?"
Ray felt his heart jolt in mild shock and utter joy. Was he hearing things? However, he gave Kai a quick, judging look. He didn't want to hurry Kai ahead faster than the Russian was ready. " Are you really sure?"
When Kai looked at him, the Russian's eyes were filled with such softness and affection that it made Ray feel warm all over. At that moment, he could for a first time be absolutely sure that the Russian was only thinking about him, not Tala. " Yeah. I am."
Warm smile crept up to Ray's features. " Okay then."
Also smiling, Kai looked at the road. This time, the difficult words came easily. " Thank you." And Lord only knows he was thanking for so much more than just a sleepover.
And as sun slowly crept up from horizon, it sent them both the same message.
Hope.
¨
/ Home, home where I wanted to go
Home, home where I wanted to go
Home, home where I wanted to go
Home, home where I wanted to go /
¨
END/TBC.
A/N: PHEEEEEEEEEEEW! The twins AND Kai are alive and well!
Okay, I mentioned about this preposition… What would you guys say about an epilogue? It would take place… say, ten years or something after this chapter. You would see the twins as teenagers, and find out if all the couples – especially Kai and Ray – stayed together, and how their lives turned out.
Well, depending on what you decide, bye or see you later! And thank you so much for actually bothering to read this silly little story of mine! You guys are precious!