Well, about a week has passed since the whole Chris incident. I haven't seen him since, but I know he'll come around to try something. He just won't pass that up.
Currently, I'm in my apartment, cleaning. For some reason I was filled with energy and I decided to spend my afternoon cleaning. I was vaccuming the living room when I felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist. I jumped and then turned around to see a grinning Nathan. I turned off the vaccum. "Hey there, gorgeous," he said and leaned down to kiss me.
Once we broke the kiss I spoke. "Hello to you, too. Did you have to scare me like that?" I said and hit his chest playfully.
"Yes, I did," he said with a nod. "Why are you cleaning, anyways. I don't think I've ever seen this place messy."
"Well, that's because I clean it, Nate. That's the whole concept of what I'm doing," I said like I would to a 5 year old.
"Can you spend some time with your boyfriend for a while?" he asked, pulling me into his arms. "I've missed you."
"I missed you, too," I smiled and pulled him down to kiss me. We managed to make our way to the couch without breaking said kiss. I fell on top of him with an 'umph' and then had to break for air. We both laughed for a minute before I spoke, "how was your game, anyways?"
"We won, of course! 79-67. I had 35 points and Lucas had 23 points," he explained but I wasn't really listening. I just heard that they won.
"Well, good for you guys! When's your next game?"
"It's not until after thanksgiving break, so just over a week away," he said and brushed some hair out of my face.
I shifted myself off of him and stood up. I made my way into the kitchen saying, "so are you getting hungry? Want me to make something or order take out or-"
He grabbed me from behind and kissed my neck. "Yes, I'm hungry."
"Okay, what do you want me to make you? I've got-"
"No, Hales," he said and I looked at him, confused. He lifted me up to sit on the counter. "I'm hungry, for you."
I smiled at him but inside I was having a panic attack. What does that mean? Does that mean he thinks we're ready for sex? "Really?"
He nodded. "I haven't kissed you in 2 days, Hales. Can't you just sit with me and we'll eat later?" he begged and I laughed.
I took his face into my hands and pulled him to me. "Yes, we can do that," I replied and kissed him with all the passion I had in me. He pulled me to the edge of the counter, wanting to feel me close to him. His hands were at my waist, but playing with the edge of my shirt. His fingers started to make their way under, roaming around my back.
I was starting to have that panic attack again. I'm not ready for this! Tell him to stop, Haley! His hands were making their way up my back. They played with my bra strap and I got my nerve up. I broke the kiss and pushed him away lightly. We were both breathing heavily. He was the first to speak. "Is everything okay?" I nodded. "What's wrong, Haley?"
"Nothing's wrong," I said and jumped down from the counter. "Everything's perfectly fine."
"Well, why won't you-"
"TUTORGIRL! Where are you?" Thank god for Brooke. I swear, she gets me out of sticky situations. I don't know why I can't tell Nathan I'm just not ready for that yet.
"We're in the kitchen, tigger," I said, glancing at Nathan who looked disappointed.
"Well, hello tutor girl, Nate. How are you both on this lovely evening?" she smiled at both of us, but she definately noticed the tension and distance between us.
"Hey, Brooke," Nathan said with a forced smile.
"I'm not interupting anything, am I?" she asked.
"No-" I started.
"No, you're not interupting, Brooke. There's nothing to interupt," Nathan said and looked at me.
"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked, upset.
"It means, you won't even let me kiss you! Why are you being so distant from me? Did I do something wrong? If I did you have to tell me so I can fix it, Hales," Nate was almost pleading with me.
"Nate, I don't know what you mean! We've been making out since you got here! Why are you getting mad at me?"
"Because everytime it starts to get a little more intense, you back away from me. You break all contact and just walk away! Why don't you just tell me to stop if you don't want me to do something?" he was almost yelling now.
"I think I'm gonna just go now," Brooke said, backing out of the room.
"Why did you have to do that in front of her?" I screamed at him. I went up to face him. "That was something she didn't need to know!"
"That's another thing, why won't you tell me things? Why won't you tell Brooke, your best friend, things anymore? You've been really distant and not just to me, Haley," Nathan softened up a little bit.
I put my head down, staring at his chest. "I tell you things, Nate," I said softly.
He took my face in his hands, lifting it so I could look into his eyes. "No, you don't. You don't tell me how you're feeling. You don't tell me when I'm taking things too far. You don't tell me much, Haley. Is this all because of what happened last week?"
"Can we not talk about that? I don't want to keep going back to that."
"Why not? You need to talk to someone about it if you can't talk to me about it. Maybe that will help you, Hales," he said and kissed my forehead.
"Wait a minute. Are you saying I should go see a shrink?"
"I'm saying that you need someone to talk to, to help you get over all this stuff. Maybe they can help you get on with your life," he answered softly. "I'm gonna head back to my room. I'll call you later, okay?"
I nodded and he kissed me softly before leaving. I sighed and sat down at my table. "Well, tutor girl, that was intense."
I jumped at her voice, but relaxed because I knew it was Brooke. "You were there the whole time?" she nodded. "Well, then, you tell me. Do you agree with him?"
She looked pensive and sat down. "Yes, Haley. I agree that you need to open up to someone. It could be Nathan or me if you really wanted, but you have to talk to someone. If it can't be us then-"
"Then I should talk to a shrink," I finished for her. She nodded. "Maybe you guys are right. Tell you what, I'll call and schedule one appointment, but if I don't like it, it will be my first and last appointment, okay?"
She nodded and pulled me into a hug. "I just want you to be able to tell me things, Haley. We're tigger and tutor girl! We shouldn't have secrets from each other!"
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