Second Chances

Laughter. Laughing; a hearty laugh. It filled the Doctor's head and drove him crazy. He held onto Rose tightly, feeling the smooth silk of her dress. He wanted to feel the silk everywhere on her. He danced and twirled and heard her humming into his ears. He knew she was holding back. She didn't want to get into it too heavily. Why won't she just let it be, doesn't she know? He thought to himself. His chin leant on top of Rose's head and he breathed deeply. Something floral hit his senses at first. It was deep and he loved it. He could smell coconut and burning life in her scent. His senses went into overdrive as he pulled her tighter and found another aroma hitting at the back. It was subtle, sweet and perfection itself. It was the undeniable smell of his Rose. He held her to his body fiercely, he couldn't let her go again, he just couldn't lose her. Another slow song came into his head.

You look into my eyes
I go out of my mind
I can't see anything
Coz this love's got me blind
I can't help myself
I can't break the spell
I can't even try

Love. That word again. They're four letters, why can't I say them? The laughter in his head turned to mocking guffaws coming from deep inside. He was scared. The frustration was burning in his eyes and threatened to fall as tears. She was pulling away, slowly, slowly. He held on tighter, just one song, one dance…I have to tell her…four letters…four letters… the mantra repeated in his mind like a broken record . over and over again. Just say it…just say it…just say it… He couldn't even prise his lips apart to usher the feeling. The song pounded and pounded away at his soul. This was tearing him apart, tearing, so shattered and so broken. Only Rose could fix him again. Please make me whole, Rose…just say it… Nothing. The stinging sensation gripped him as the tears started to roll silently like snowballs down his face.

I'm in over my head
You got under skin
I got no strength at all
In the state that I'm in
And my knees are weak
And my mouth can't speak
Fell too far this time

She prised her head upwards and he was hit by her eyes. They were disbelieving and incredulous. She looked sadly at him as the eyes of their souls met. His hearts were breaking. Maybe he was wrong. She was better off without him. The familiar crack inside him made him break into full on avalanche tears. Silently, silently. The Doctor could see tears in Rose's eyes too. She was waiting…waiting for the words he couldn't say. It was too much; too much…he was going to explode. He felt everything at once. Guilt, pain, anger, hurt, love, passion, desire, need, sadness…oh, so much sadness. A little glint of joy at what could be if he was brave enough. Love. Love. Love. So much love it was killing him not to be able to tell her and scare her away. He couldn't risk it now, she was better off. Right? The brown hazel of her eyes turned to black as their eyes blazed and fought against each others. He felt the heat between them and saw the tiny sparks. They're just letters, don't be scared. You're the Doctor for Rasillion's sake! You've faced pure evil and you're scared to say a word! He screamed at himself inside his head.

Well you whisper to me
And I shiver inside
You undo me and move me
In ways undefined
And you're all I see
And you're all I need

Help me baby (help me baby)

Help me baby (help me now)

He felt Rose shake herself slightly. She tore her eyes from his and he gasped at their absence. It was a void, a void between them that couldn't be filled. Her arms slipped away from his grasp and she tore his arms away from her body. Ice cold fear gripped him and wouldn't let him go. He was suffocating as she ran through glass double doors. He stood stock still in regret. He was a coward. A coward for letting her get away. It taunted him and made his loneliness sink in. Something inside him snapped and he ran as fast as his legs could carry him through the throng of happy dancing couples. A flash of blonde hair and bare shoulders caught his gaze and he ran…ran so fast, so hard it burned him. "ROSE! ROSE!" Her head whipped around to glimpse at him but she kept running. He found the sight of her tear stained face gut wrenching. He was braver than this regret, he could battle it. "ROSE, PLEASE, PLEASE STOP!" She continued running and so did he. She climbed blue carpeted stairs awkwardly and the Doctor put on a sprinting finish. It was his chance. As Rose got to the top of the stairs, he came up behind her asked her as she froze "Why did you run?" No reply came. "Why did you run, Rose? Please, tell me." She walked forward slightly and the Doctor grabbed her hand tightly and spun her like a rollercoaster. He looked deeply into her eyes. "Tell me, please."

Her voice shook like her body, "I was scared."

I'm slipping away
Like the sand to the tide
Falling into your arms
Falling into your eyes
If you get too near
I might disappear
I might lose my mind

He felt her trembling under his gaze. His head inched slowly, carefully towards her ear. She shook violently and her breath hitched as he whispered deeply. "I want you; I need you in my life. I love you, Rose Tyler. I've always loved you." Relief flooded him when she didn't slap him. She looked into his eyes carefully. His lips inched closer and closer towards Rose's. The sparks flew once again. This was it. The Doctor pressed his lips to hers lightly, like a feather. Barely there, a taste of what could be. When she didn't run again, he kissed her harder, deeper, faster. Slanting his mouth over hers and pulling her tightly to him again. Her lips taste cool and sweet and just of Rose, he thinks. He wants more. His tongue ran over her bottom lip and she granted him entrance. He probed and tasted as the kiss became passionate and desperate. He needed her. He wanted her, oh god; he wanted her. His hands went up and down her back, feeling the silkiness of her dress and flushed skin. He pushed her slowly into the nearest wall, their bodies pressing.

She whispered into his ear, "I love you too." The door to her hotel room opened and she pulled him inside, slamming the door shut.

I'm going in crazy in love for you baby
(I can't eat and I can't sleep)
I'm going down like a stone in the sea
Yeah, no one can rescue me
(No one can rescue me)

He woke up suddenly when he felt something was missing. Something was wrong. Desperately wrong. His eyes wrenched open and he found that Rose was gone. She wouldn't leave, she just wouldn't. He threw the duvet off himself and ran around the room. Rose's dress was still on the floor. All of her clothes, make-up and shoes were there on the floor. Someone had been searching for something. His blood boiled. Rose had been taken from him again. No…no…no! He grabbed his clothes and roughly threw them on, not really caring. He ran round out the door and saw nothing. He heard nothing. Long gone. His head drooped in sadness. The anger built up quickly inside of him once again. He stormed around the room. They would pay for this, whoever they were. He sank against the bathroom door and looked up. There, scorched into the wood was a message.

We have her. We shall have her blood, we want her very essence. Her body and soul are now ours. She will rot in our ship's disposal. Revenge is sweet, Doctor.

Below it laid a dripped trail of dry, scarlet, angry blood, pooling onto the floor at the Doctor's feet.

I'm lost in everything about you
So deep (so deep), I can't sleep
I can't think
I just think about these things that you do (you do)
I'm too lost in you
(Too lost in you)