A/N: A couple more questions answered. :) Enjoy, and thank you so much for reading.
Foolish Downfall
It was disorienting how much they had traveled lately. One moment they were at Hogwarts, the next an unknown cottage, and now Ashmore manor. If one could call it a manor.
The group slowly walked up the worn path in the dying grass of the dark manor's grounds, dust kicking up from their boots as they did. The reddish-stone manor had two separate pentagon wings that jutted out from its main base with twenty-three windows from what Severus could see. Eight windows were on the ground floor with three on the right side, three on the left side, and two in the middle on either side of a large ornate door. Another six windows were on the second floor with the same placement mostly as it had been on the ground floor. And another nine were on the roof for anyone in the attic to look out of and were complete with decorative ramparts below them. There were three balconies that had large double doors on the second floor: one on the right, left, and middle of the manor's second-floor. Each balcony had black ornate railing lining it with a design in the middle of the railing similar to a silhouette of a scythe-holding figure. Ten steps shaped in a half-oval led up to the lavish front door. Elegance and fear came to mind when one stared at the two-story manor's outside.
Once they had dealt with the centuries-old cobwebs and the two-inch thick dust on the inside, the manor wasn't actually half-bad in his opinion. Old and musty certainly, but not bad. Eileen and Tobias had set off a bit earlier to give Severus some space as the young man sat in one of the empty rooms with Harrison in his arms. Aurora and Demetri had, in turn, gone off to explore more of the manor.
He couldn't get out of his head how close he had come to killing Aurora earlier. He hadn't meant to hurt her. He just hated when people lied to him. Not that it was excuse, though, because it wasn't. There was no excuse for what he had done to her. Now, though, the witch couldn't stand to be near him it seemed, which hurt him more than he cared to admit.
"Dada?" Harrison softly said, staring up at him with warm hazel eyes.
"I'm sorry, brat. I keep screwing up," Severus admitted quietly.
"Kiss 't betwa?"
Severus chuckled quietly, pressing a kiss against his son's forehead. "Somehow I doubt a kiss could make this better." He carded the boy's hair and sighed again.
What he needed to do was stop feeling sorry for himself and find her to apologize. So many times now he found himself apologizing for yet another stupid thing. Why couldn't he just be normal for once? To be more like one who wasn't broken and damaged inside like he was? Why did he always expect the worst in people? It was stupid.
"I thought I'd find you in here," a voice suddenly spoke from the doorway.
He turned to the voice and forced himself to breathe as he felt the air be sucked out. Aurora was leaning heavily against the doorjamb. He was just about to stand up when she held a hand up.
"I'm fine. Just sit back down with your son." He did instantly, his eyes watching her every move. She looked like she was seconds away from collapsing as she slowly limped over to where the two were before she motioned to a chair. "Mind if I sit down?"
"Please." He nodded and held a hand out. She was here in front of him again, in the same room as him. Did that mean she wasn't upset with him any longer? Or was it something else?
"Hello, Harrison." Aurora said softly, addressing the curious boy staring at her from his side. "My, you've gotten big this year, haven't you?"
Severus glanced down and noticed Harrison's shy smile.
"You've got your dad's smile, too," she said before she leaned in to the little boy. "Do you have his glare as well?" she asked teasingly.
"No," Harrison giggled, burying his face into Severus's side.
"Shame," she replied, pulling back before she looked to Severus and forced an awkward smile.
He couldn't stop himself then. It all just came tumbling out, oozing out of his mouth like a first-year's failed attempt at brewing. "I'm sorry," Severus started, stopping when she held up a hand again.
"Don't. Please." Her eyes held a pained expression in them.
He glanced to the floor, closing his eyes. She was right. No amount of apologies was going to make up for what he did. He had nearly killed her.
"I'm sure you've got questions," she said quietly a few moments later to him. "I'll answer them if I can. There's a lot about this I don't know, though."
He nodded, feeling Harrison squirm against him. No doubt, the boy was becoming restless again.
"If I put you down, will you stay where I can see you?" he said to the young boy. Harrison nodded. Sighing, Severus reluctantly set his son down, watching the little boy run over to a few toys he could play with in the corner.
Severus turned back to her and sighed, running a hand through his long hair.
"How do you know my curse?" At her confused look, he added quietly, "Sectumsempra."
"Oh." She shrugged. "Um, during my fifth year I asked Reg if I could borrow his Potions text for a bit so I could finish an essay for Slughorn. He gave me yours for some reason, and I stumbled across it on one of the pages and wrote it down."
Regulus had taken his book once? He couldn't recall ever offering it to the youngest Black, but it wouldn't have been too far off to do so he supposed. He had been the reason the boy joined the Death Eaters after all, having been Black's sponsor as Lucius Malfoy had been his long ago.
Severus frowned as he thought on this for a few moments. From his own journal, he had learned Aurora and Reg had been close friends as they were in the same house and in the same year, so it wasn't beyond the possibility. But it led to another question.
"Why did you write it down?"
"Well, I had never heard of it before, so I figured it was a curse you learned about from the Restricted Section. Course when I looked for it there, I didn't find it and no professor had ever heard of such a powerful curse before, so I realized it was a curse you must have created. After that, I figured I should learn how to cast it too. For protection. But when I found out what it did, though . . ."
"You've cast it before today?"
"Once before, yeah, against a Death Eater." Her voice lowered. "I was sick for weeks afterwards. I couldn't get the image out of my head."
He nodded slowly. He could understand it. The first time he cast it at full power he had managed to amputate a Muggle's arm. He had so many questions he needed answers to. Like, why did the people after him want him to go dark? Was it a prophecy or something else? Did she know that, though, he wondered. He wasn't certain, but that wasn't the question he asked. The one he needed the answer to.
"Why did you stay away this year?" He heard the question fall from his lips and stared at her.
"I was trying to fix the timeline," she replied, as if that answered everything. When he didn't say anything else, she continued. "Keep it from unraveling and killing all of us. Or at the very least destroying this universe and all that we know. And then Albus showed up one day out of the blue and explained to me that you were in danger and . . . well, I figured I could keep you safe from a distance. Let Demetri be your friend in other words and give the timeline some room to relax."
"It didn't have anything to do with Harrison?" He caught her surprise instantly.
"What?" She stared at him and shook her head. "No. Of course not. Why would it?"
"Because." Now it was his turn to lower his voice. "Harrison isn't yours." He frowned when she doubled over and burst out laughing. "What's so funny?"
"Do you honestly I stayed away because you had a child with another woman and I couldn't bear to see that? That I was overcome with jealousy?" He glared. "Oh, Severus. Sometimes you're such an idiot. I mean, honestly."
"I am not."
"You sort of are."
"Well, what else was I supposed to think, Sinistra?" he groused, crossing his arms. "For years you chased after me like a lost puppy dog, and then when we were supposed to work together side-by-side, you decide suddenly not to show up. And that was just a few months after seeing Harrison."
Her eyes narrowed on him before she crossed her own arms. "How do you know that?"
"How do I know what?"
"That I chased after you."
"Oh, please, everyone knows that. It's not like you're particularly good at hiding it," he said evasively, inwardly wincing at his slipup. He would have to be more careful in the future.
"Everyone does know that, but you're not everyone. You never paid attention to me. Never gave a second glance to me. In fact, in your eyes, I was some silly annoying girl with my head in the clouds who bothered the hell out of you all throughout our years at Hogwarts."
He kept his eyes far from hers, his mind racing with possible things to throw her off.
"Wait a minute."
He swallowed back his words. It was too late already. She knew.
"Your future self revealed that, didn't he?"
He noticed Harrison's hazel eyes on him with an amused look on his face. Little brat.
"What else did he tell you?"
"Nothing," Severus said quickly. A little too quickly he noticed a moment later when he felt warm under her gaze.
"Severus," she said slowly.
"Nothing. He said nothing to me about you."
"Liar."
His head snapped to hers. "Okay, yes, he may have let some things slip, but it's not like he told me you snore or anything." Her eyes narrowed on him, and he refused to panic. When she leaned in closer to him, he inhaled deeply and almost instantly cursed himself for doing that. Raspberries. She smelled of raspberries. He swallowed harshly, his throat having suddenly gone dry as a fresh assault of memories took over in the back of his mind. The last time he had smelled that particular scent . . .
"Severus." Her voice was low as she moved even closer to him, dangerously close. She was close enough now that he could feel her warm breath against his face. "If I grabbed you by the shirt right now, what would you do?"
It horrified him to think he had nearly said 'Kiss you." No. It wasn't supposed to be like this yet. The memories had lessened awhile back. He was better now, more like himself, not a love-sick teenager. The way she was staring into his eyes, though, he knew he was screwed.
"You have his memories!"
"No!" he said with a strangled breath, raising his hands. "I don't!"
"Liar."
"Aurora," he argued, his breath hitching when she grabbed the back of his neck so he couldn't run. As if he was going to, though. He felt a sudden jolt of electricity inside him from her soft touch. He then watched her eyes stare off in the distance. She was clearly working something out in her head before she suddenly yanked her hand back and glared at him. Her mouth opened and closed several times before she finally decided on her words.
"You never, never once in all the time we've known each, called me Aurora. Not once!" She pointed at him, staring at him looking half-horrified and half-excited. Or maybe he just wanted to see that last part. "I've always been Sinistra!"
There were soft giggles from the corner, and Severus winced. He was screwed. Beyond screwed.
"He didn't give them to me, Aur—Sinistra. He wanted me to, well, fall for you on my own, on my time." He hated the look in her eyes right now. "It's only been a recent thing, but Nevins gave me a potion and they stopped." When her eyes narrowed, he added quietly, "Sort of."
"Sort of?" she repeated deathly quiet. "Just what sorts of stuff do you know exactly?"
His eyes darted far from hers. This was not going to end well.
"Severus."
"You're . . . a good person?" It was weak. Even he knew that.
"Severus Snape, answer me!"
"Oh, please, clearly, witch, he's had sex dreams about you," Eileen drawled from the doorway suddenly as she entered the room. "Come, Harrison. Let's leave Severus with his harlot."
Severus watched the little boy leave with his grandmother, giggling the entire time.
"Well, is she telling the truth?"
"Possibly?" he replied, wincing. He watched her eyes widen before she launched herself at him.
"I'm going to kill you!" she yelled, her eyes fierce.
He, however, quickly grabbed her wrists and managed to roll them over so she was below him now on the bed. Which he realized was a really bad idea on second thought soon after.
"Aurora, calm down!"
"Calm down?! You've been having sex dreams about me for who knows how many months now! You have knowledge; knowledge you're not supposed to have! How could you be so stupid? GAH! Why the hell did you—or him or whoever—mess with time in the first place? Time is—I can't believe you! UGH!" Her chest was heaving as she glared up at him.
"Are you finished?" he asked, staring down desperately trying not to lean down and kiss her.
"No." Her eyes softened, though, but she still didn't look happy. "Knowing all of that now, everything you know, the timeline will try to correct itself. All because you—or rather HIM—had to come back in time for some asinine reason. And where the hell did you get the knowledge to do that anyway? You suck at Astronomy and all of the theories around it. Called it a worthless subject once actually to my face."
Had he truly? He supposed it could very well be possible. He had been a stupid kid after all. However, as he thought on it for a moment, he found a smirk making its way to his lips. He couldn't help but lean closer to her, lowering his voice. "If you must know, he got it from you." When her eyes widened again and she gasped, he chuckled. "So, you know, if you wouldn't have been studying time travel and all of its asinine theories, Aurora, the timeline would have just been fine."
"Me? That's absurd."
"Oh, really?" She wasn't really fighting him anymore, so he didn't know why he was keeping her pinned to the bed as he was. Perhaps because he liked the feel of being on top of her, feeling her.
As she lifted her head up so their noses were almost touching, she stated, "If we were truly together in that timeline, Severus, then I can assure you there would be absolutely no reason for me to ever—and I mean ever—research time travel anymore. Want to know why?"
"Why?" he replied, leaning even more so their noses were now touching. It was exciting and gut-wrenching being so close to her now. She was right there. Right there in front of him. His stomach did backflips as he stared into her eyes.
"Because I'd be snogging the fuck out of you every damn chance I could get, arshole. Not to mention, shagging the shit out of you!"
Her words sent a flurry of pleasure shooting through his body faster than lightning streaking the night sky in the middle of summer. He couldn't help it. The words tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop himself. "Is that a promise, Aurora?"
He watched her brief surprise quickly morph into mischievousness.
"You'll never know, Severus." She then let her head fall back against the bed.
Now it was his turn to be temporarily confused. What was that? No. That couldn't be all that he'd get from her. He wanted more damn it!
"You can't honestly be upset with me," he grumbled, "because I've had a few dreams about you, can you? It's not like I asked for it! It just happened."
"A few dreams? That's all you had?"
"Yes. A few. That's all."
"How many is a few? Three, four, five? Ten?"
He frowned. She was being ridiculous. Then again, that was usually how it always started before they ended up in bed toge— He blinked, forcing the thought to the far corner of his mind. Nope. He couldn't think like that. Not yet. Not until they had officially started a relationship and had been in one long enough to be comfortable. He was supposed to be awkward around her, not like this.
"What? More than ten?" she said, staring at him incredulously.
"No it's not . . ." He then sighed. "I have had two or three dreams this past summer that were sexual in nature concerning you, but they weren't memories."
"How can you be sure?"
"Because it wasn't detailed enough, Aurora. Just your face on what could have been a doll for all I know. The memories that I watched, those were vivid, detailed, unlike the dreams. The smell of berries for example when you walk in a room. The jests you make playfully, the little touches. The way you hold your wand. That I know is from his memories. But the sex dreams, well, I am a male after all. I'm not dead. And you're beautiful. And, you know, being told by your future self that you might end up with a beautiful witch like you, what was I supposed to do?"
"So, then, what? Just seeing a few of these memories, a sex dream sprinkled in here and there, changed your mind about love, about me?"
She didn't believe him, and he could understand it. He wouldn't if the roles were reversed. He had spent his entire childhood chasing after Evans, living solely for her and her alone. No one else mattered or ever would. Yet a year since Evans's death, he had found himself thinking of Aurora in a different light, not wanting to push her away. Sighing, he released her wrists.
"I don't know. I'm—I've been trying to figure it out myself. I don't know you. Really I don't. And you're right. I didn't pay any attention to you at all during our years at Hogwarts. I—it might just be that I long for the feeling of being loved. Or something. I don't know."
"You were flirting with me, though. Just a few minutes ago."
"As were you," he pointed out with a shrug. He then rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. "I'm not going to lie and say I wouldn't want to snog you senseless right now. Because I think deep down both of us know the truth." He didn't glance at her to see her reaction. He frankly couldn't bring himself to see it. "I don't know what I feel. Other than this summer was hard, more difficult when you weren't there to teach beside me this year. It felt like—I don't know—like rejection, and we both know how I take that." He sighed. "I don't know what I feel. I'm conflicted. Horribly so and I think that's fine. You know?" He finally glanced at her, noticing her soft eyes on him.
"Your mother keeps referring to me as your harlot," she said quietly a few moments later.
"I know. I'm sorry." He sighed. "Unfortunately, they all know my feelings concerning you."
She laughed softly and shook her head. "My, how the tables have turned, hmm?"
"Indeed." She then raised her hand to touch his cheek. He closed his eyes the moment he felt her hand. "Do you know why he came back then? Your future self, I mean."
Severus sighed quietly, reopening his eyes and looking down at her. "Do you want the truth?" He thought a quick prayer hoping she wouldn't want to know the truth. The truth was painful, heartbreaking even to hear. Even he didn't want to know it anymore.
"Yes."
He had damned her to the same fate as his. The knowledge of the future, while it was always longed for, should never be known. Not like this at least, and definitely not like he knew.
"His wife and unborn child were murdered in front of him," he answered quietly, trying to distance himself from his future self, to avoid thinking how that had been him, a version of him at least in some other time. "He watched her die, take her last breath, and he couldn't do anything to help her because he was, was tied up." His voice had cracked only once.
"Oh."
His eyes closed, and slowly he moved off her. When she grabbed his arm, though, he stopped.
"Harrison isn't really yours, is he?" Her voice was softer than a whisper.
He glanced at her and sighed. It would be so easy to repeat the lie to her. It was actually becoming easier to believe it in fact. The boy was his son now. Not in flesh and blood, but damn near close to it in his mind. But he couldn't lie to her, couldn't repeat the lie once more.
"He brought Harrison to me last year," he stated quietly. "Told me to raise the boy as my own. I was so scared at first." Understatement of the year actually, he realized. He was more than scared. He was downright petrified by the screaming infant. "I had never been around brats like the boy before. He told me I would learn how to be a dad, though, to care for the boy. And he's right. The brat somehow wormed his way into my heart." He left the words, 'Like you did' unsaid.
"Well, do you know who the child really was then? Or what happened to his actual parents?"
Severus's shoulders sagged. He really shouldn't tell her anymore, but he couldn't keep it from her either. She knew this much. He might as well damn her more and tell her all of it. She had been trustworthy so far. "He's Evans's son."
"Oh."
His eyes fell back to the floor as he sat beside her. When he felt her wrap her arms around him a moment later, he glanced at her, confused by her actions. Why was she hugging him? He was fine. A little exhausted emotionally from baring his soul to her like this, but he was all right. He then thought on it some more before it hit him. Oh.
"She isn't so strong in my mind anymore, Aurora," he stated quietly, pausing for a moment. Evans had to be the reason she hugged him. After all, it would be a year next October since her death. A year? Had it really been that long? "She made her choice, and it wasn't me. And I've made mine."
"I know, but, still, I'm sorry." Her eyes were soft and somber. "Is there anything I can do?"
"A kiss to make it better?" he joked with a devilish smirk. He laughed when she rolled her eyes. It was easy being around her. A little nerve-wracking at first, but he was finding his nerves calming the more they spoke. "You know, though, the man in the Ministry was correct, however."
She glanced at him, eyes narrowing. "About what?"
"You would keep the darkness inside me at bay." When she seemed confused, he continued. "I mean, we all know my record when it comes to love. I become obsessive, possessive even sometimes. I'd be focused entirely on you. The rest of the world be damned."
She rolled her eyes again and laughed. "You really want that kiss, don't you?"
"Maybe." When she laughed softly, eyes glancing to the floor again, he leaned in towards her. Brushing back a few loose curls, he tucked them behind her ear neatly. His eyes stared deeply in to hers. He smiled when she licked her lips expectantly. He almost pulled back from her and gave in to his fear. Inhaling his courage and pushing aside his concerns, though, he leaned in fully a moment later, his lips brushing against hers. It was stupid. He knew that. But he had to know. Just one kiss. That was all it'd take. One kiss.
The familiar jolt of electricity shot through him the second their lips met. He inhaled sharply, pulling her closer instinctively. When they both fell back against the bed again, he chuckled against her, his arms wrapping protectively around her. It was right. He couldn't deny that. It felt right. All of it. The kiss. Her in his arms. It felt right. Better than he had ever imagined even. Better than it had ever been with Evans the one time he had drunkenly kissed her his fifth-year.
"Well?" she asked a moment later, her lips swollen just a bit.
"You'll do quite nicely, I suppose," he replied dryly with his dark eyes sparkling in amusement. He chuckled when she hit his chest again.
"You're an arse."
"I am," he agreed with a nonchalant shrug. Whom was he to dispute the truth? He was an arse, but he could be a loving one perhaps. If the right person came along, that was. He was already feeling his own armor chip away with every day around Harrison. She would certainly destroy it the rest of the way. Of that he had no doubt.
"So . . ."
"So," he replied as the silence between them droned on. Now that he was thinking on it, maybe he shouldn't have kissed her so soon. He still had questions that needed answering, people trying to hurt him. Maybe that was the entirely wrong thing to do. Maybe he should have waited.
"You're already regretting it, aren't you?" she asked quietly, pulling back from him.
"No." He shook his head. "It's not that."
"Then what?"
"I'm just, well, thinking." He winced inwardly and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.
"About?"
"Things." When he heard her loud groan a moment later, he turned to her.
"It's like pulling teeth with you, you know that? Just come out with it, will you? I'm a big girl. I can handle it."
"Handle what?" He was beyond confused now.
"With whatever you're thinking about so intensely. I can handle it."
He shrugged. "I don't have a specific thing in mind, Sinistra. Not really. It's only a few questions that I still have. Nothing of importance."
"Clearly they are if you're carrying on the way you are."
"What?"
"Oh, come on. Don't tell me you haven't noticed you've been staring off for a better half of three minutes without so much as even looking at me since our kiss."
"I don't regret it. I give you my word. That's not what I was thinking about. Not really."
"Then what?"
"It's too soon for this. Isn't it? I mean, let's be honest. This the longest I've seen you in years, not to mention I almost killed you earlier."
"You made a mistake."
He glanced at her, staring. "You truly do see no fault in me, don't you?"
"Fault?" She scoffed, rolling her eyes. "Severus, I hate to tell you this, but you're human. You're going to screw up royally from time to time, and this was one of them." She laid a hand atop of his. "Demetri told me how you gave your mother your wand so she could heal me, how you regretted your actions. I mean, it's not a free pass, but . . . why dwell on it when we have jackarses out there trying their damnedest to turn you dark?"
"Yeah." He then frowned as he recalled something. "About that," his voice trailed off. "The other day in Diagon Alley. Before you showed up and defended me, I mean." He shrugged. "One of the men, they had claimed the Order had created some potion that stole one's magic." When he noticed Aurora's eyes dart far from his, his eyes narrowed on her. So she did know something more about that. "You know about this potion?"
"Of course I know about that," she replied surprisingly snotty. "I was, after all, the one who gave you the antidote to it."
He couldn't understand her reaction. Why had her mood shifted so suddenly with him? He frowned slightly and stared at her. Clearly, she had become offended by his question. But why?
"I recall that, but I don't understand. How do you know about that potion?" He watched her run a hand through her dark curls and stare off at the wall with tightly pressed together lips. "Aurora?" he said quietly. "Please answer me."
She scoffed before she turned to him. Everything about her screamed anger and contempt. But why was she so upset? He still didn't get that. It was just a question. He wasn't accusing her of anything untoward. He just wondered if she knew about it, which she clearly did.
"My mother created it, okay?" she snapped, her jaw clenching tightly.
"Your mother?"
"Yeah, unfortunately, I wasn't hatched," she huffed "but I may as well have been."
"I don't follow." There was so much hatred in her voice now. She had gone cold, harsh, angry even. What did her mother have to do with any of this? He was missing something.
"My mother, Severus," she replied, as if that answered everything. When he still didn't seem to understand, she sighed heavily and tugged on a few of her curls in utter frustration. "She worked at St. Mungo's as one of the main Healers."
He nodded his head. He knew this, as he had dealt with Syra on two separate occasions.
"Well, that was sort of a cover, I guess." She moved from him and stood up before she started to pace in front of the bed. She seemed to be at a loss for words temporarily, but he waited patiently. "I mean, she's not an Order member. Not by any means, and honestly she hates Dumbledore more than me even," she explained, the words tumbling out of her mouth quickly.
He frowned at this revelation. Her mother hated her? He hadn't gotten that feeling from Syra.
"But every now and then, her objectives align with Dumbledore's so they'd work together. I don't know the whole stupid thing, because frankly my mother is dead to me. But, well, from what I do know is he needed some method to subdue Death Eaters quickly without, you know, killing them." Her anger was clearly affecting her greatly, as she passed back and forth in front of him wildly. She reminded him of a caged animal, ready at moment's notice to attack. "So, he asked her to devise a way to achieve that, and she did. Created that stupid potion or whatever the hell it is you accidentally touched that day. It doesn't destroy your magic, though. It just suppresses it somehow."
"You've seen it before then?"
"Oh, yes," Aurora replied bitterly. "Dumbledore thought I'd be so proud to know my mother created it. He even went so much as to tell me, and get this," she paused, holding a hand up, "And I quote 'Your mother does in fact care for you and your safety. This potion proves that, my dear.' Proves it?" She scoffed, shaking her head in pure disgust. "No. What it proves is she's a conniving bitch who can fake with the best of them. Pretend she's all for the Greater Good when in the end she's just biding her time and coming up with more and more ways to achieve her ultimate dream of the perfect child, one who isn't a frequent disappointment to her."
He winced again, not bothering to hide it. Clearly, she and her mother didn't get along at all. He hadn't known that. Or if she had told him, it was long ago. He needed to get her on another topic before her anger awakened her magic accidentally.
"You said also that day you weren't supposed to be there." He watched her pause in her pacing and stare at him. "Where were you supposed to be?"
"Far from you," she stated bluntly. He forced himself not to react to her words. "There was no telling what the timeline would or wouldn't do. There still isn't. And at the time I didn't know about what you saw, your Future self, any of that. All I knew was that Evans had died, and you had been looking into time travel. So, I just assumed you had tried to come back to save her, and it didn't work. There's always consequences to time travel. People being un-born, soulmates never being found. I didn't want that to happen, so I stayed away."
He said nothing. While he understood her reasoning, he did think it was a bit foolish. She should have been there with him instead of off saving the world. She wasn't a savior after all.
"People seem to think of time as being linear when it really isn't. We just perceive it as linear because it's easier for our minds to comprehend it that way. It's really actually quite fluid if you think about it. A change here, like giving a lollipop to You-Know-Who or showing him any sort of affection growing up, and he could have never wanted to go evil. Choosing kindness instead."
Severus wasn't sure her analogy worked, but didn't have the heart to tell her that. Instead, he nodded slowly and watched her resume her frantic animalistic pacing again. A part of him wanted to grab her and pull her back into his arms, letting her know everything was going to be okay. Another part, however, didn't know what else to do but wait.
"The possibilities are quite endless. It's why people go mad trying to figure out one's future, because it's not set in stone. It never is. That's why true Seers are rare. I mean, like, extremely rare. Nothing is ever set in stone."
"Even fixed points?" he inquired.
"Well, they can be bent depending on the point," she answered with a shrug. It seemed she was starting to become lost in her thoughts. "Say you go back in time to save your future wife from death."
He stared at her, unable to speak. She had to know what she was saying, right? Though, judging by the look on her face, he wasn't certain.
"You go back several years in the past. Now, Croaker's Law should take effect, right?" She didn't wait for his reply. "But as long as you remain there, you're safe. The Ministry doesn't seem to like telling people that for obvious reasons. The Unspeakables usually figure it out and go and retrieve you, but say they didn't this time. You go back. Meet your younger self. With that action, you've already destroyed your timeline. You have nothing to go back to. So the fixed points have to bend, alter themselves in the timeline, the universe in other words, your actions created."
"All right. Then, what you're saying is you believe your death is a fixed point?" When her head jerked up, he scratched his head. Maybe that wasn't what she was saying on second thought.
"What? No. I don't think that at all. He didn't seek me out. He sought you out."
"Because he believed I would approach you when I'm ready."
"Yes, but, Severus, that doesn't make sense." She shook her head. "If my death was a fixed point, then he'd try to bend it. And he didn't."
"He gave me more time than he had with you."
"But did he, really? I mean, think about it. Did he really give you more time with me? No. He didn't. He left it up to you to decide when to seek me out. So, my death can't be a fixed time. Not to mention, because of his screwing with time, he's altered so many things dramatically that he may have created one now. I don't know. Time will tell that, but he did seem to awaken something. These people coming after you, I mean."
"What?" She was talking a mile a minute. He was really having to try to follow her logic now, and he was having a tremendously difficult time doing that.
"That and the Fate's Warning popping up all over the place. That's what I was investigating, the Fate's Warning." She turned suddenly and paced back the other way. "Though, it is strange, I suppose." Her voice trailed off, and she bit her bottom lip deep in thought.
"What is?"
"Well, every place that suffered extreme amount of damage had one carved into its side somewhere. Now, they usually signify—"
"Events the Fates have set to happen," he interrupted, noticing her surprised smile. "I've heard this from Morgana with Demetri earlier," he explained.
"Good for them." She laughed softly before she shrugged, turning away from and resuming her pacing. "So, you understand then. The fact that each place marked with Fate's Warning was destroyed means that whoever these people are, fanatics or worse, are destructive to the timeline. Which means they're likely causing more disruptions to it than your Future self had, which is saying something."
"But why? Why do any of this?"
"No idea. I mean, Mother was going on to Dad about you being a descendent of the Ashmores, but that piece is still missing."
"These people want me to go dark."
"Yeah, I heard that. You being on some path they want you on. Obviously, they're going to try to hurt your family to get to you. Every bastard in the book tries that approach after all."
He nodded slowly. "Which is why the man was going to kill you in front of me," he said.
"I suppose," she replied with another shrug.
"You think there was more to it than that?"
"Well, don't you?" she asked, stopping momentarily to look at him. "He kills me. You kill him. And what, that suddenly makes you become a dark wizard?"
"I care for you, though."
"Yes, but I'm not so important in your life that you can't live without me, Severus," she drawled. "You'll be sad for a bit, but you'd move on eventually."
Did she truly believe that? Perhaps she didn't know him as well as she thought. He frowned and watched her resume her pacing again.
"So, why do they want you dark?" She stopped again and glanced at him, chewing on her bottom lip. "You can cast both Light and Dark magic, right?"
"Yes."
"And you don't feel anything, I don't know, strange casting Light magic?"
"Strange?" Just what was she insinuating exactly?
"Yeah, like, your insides burning or anything?"
He stood up from the bed, glaring at her. "Are you asking me if I have some sort of aversion to Light magic?"
"Well, it's not like I've seen you cast loads of Light spells after all, Severus. I mean, you could have some sort of reaction to it for all I know."
"By your line of logic, if I did, then what? I'm destined to be Dark?"
"No! Circe, that's not what I'm saying at all. We're not all Light or Dark for Merlin's sake. I am only trying to figure things out."
He turned his wrist slightly and felt his wand slip from his holster into his hand.
"Severus?"
"Expecto Patronum," he cast, the familiar silvery doe leaping from the tip of his wand a second later. "As you can see, I can cast Light magic just fine," he bristled before he noticed her eyes on his Patronus and her face falling for a brief second before she adopted a more neutral look. He winced inwardly and ended his spell. That was stupid, so stupid, of him.
"Yes, I can see that. Thank you." Her voice was even. If he hadn't seen her face earlier, he wouldn't have known he had hurt her feelings. "Do you have any other questions for me?"
"I'm sorry," he stated, reaching for her arm and noticing her take a step away from him.
"I should go." She whirled around and left, leaving Severus alone once more.
Just once he'd like not to insert his foot into his mouth. Just once. Was that too much to ask for?