Omake "Kaorin Popularity Contest"
(based on ch 4 reviews as of 2006-08-06)
For: 4
Against: 5
Kaorin's supporters: Look what you've done! You've bashed
poor little Kaorin! What do you have to say for yourself?
Me: (sweatdrops) Uhh...fanservice? (looks around nervously)
Ken Akamatsu (not me): Hey, that's my line!
The preceding omake was meant to be tongue-in-cheek. Thanks
to everybody who voiced an opinion on Kaorin!
By the way, Kaorin will be portrayed in a better light in
later chapters, because I believe in balancing characters.
Sakaki will not get that angry again.
Also, in this chapter, get to know Osaka's "lovely accent"!
Kansai-ben's awesome! Don't worry, everything's translated
(in this and future chapters). Translations follow in
parentheses.
We now return to lightness and hilarity, starting with our
favorite wildcat, TOMO!
Tomo bounced into the classroom one June morning.
"I've been thinking 'bout this for a while now..." she
announced to anybody who was listening. Which, if they had
their way, would be nobody.
"...but NONE of you are living up to your full potential!"
she finished.
"As if," thought Kagura. "Like SHE'S got any potential. At
least I'VE got my swimming. I've been training hard, and I
could even go pro!"
"Oh, you think so?" Chiyo-chan asked Tomo innocently.
"Hey, I'm bein' serious here!" Tomo retorted. "If I had
Sakaki's athletic skills and Chiyo-chan's brain I'd--"
"And you can have my power to be on time," Osaka
interrupted. "And to forget stuff."
Kagura chuckled to herself. "You make me laugh, kid," she
thought. Of all her friends, Kagura probably held Osaka
dearest, right next to Sakaki and Chiyo-chan.
Tomo...well, half the class would probably kill Tomo
without a second thought. (The other half was probably
about as hyper as Tomo.) Kagura had to admit, though, that
Tomo was always there to liven up a boring day. She liked
to think she kept Tomo around for her entertainment value.
Kagura went off in her own world for a few moments,
remembering a few of Tomo's latest crazy antics, such as
the incident at the school cafeteria two days ago.
Next thing Kagura knew, Tomo was saying, "It's YOUR fault,
Osaka! Your 'powers' got mixed in there and everything got
all weird."
Kagura had missed that part of Tomo's ramblings, so she had
no idea what Tomo was talking about. But she decided to
stick up for Osaka anyway.
"Oi, Tomo," said Kagura, striding up to her.
"Hey, baka," Tomo greeted her casually. Nothing new there.
Kagura made a mental note to smack Tomo upside the head for
that remark. Later.
"You didn't take MY abilities into account," Kagura said.
"That's 'cause you don't have any," Tomo replied matter-of-
factly.
"What? Of course I do!" Kagura flexed her biceps, which
were quite impressive. 28cm! "My physical prowess is--"
"I already got that from Sakaki," said Tomo. "I don't need
yours."
"Quit comparin' me to Sakaki!" said Kagura. "Sakaki and I
aren't rivals anymore--now we're friends! Besides, we're
kinda into different sports anyway."
Sakaki smiled when Kagura said "Sakaki and I aren't rivals
anymore--now we're friends!" Sakaki wondered if this meant
she might have a chance with Kagura, but decided not to
push her luck. Not right now.
Kagura had had enough. Time to put Tomo down for a while.
"If anyone here's got no abilities, it's YOU, Tomo!" Kagura
paused for effect. "I mean, even Osaka's probably got some
special ability none of us knows about."
"Osaka is pretty quick with those puns, though," Kagura
thought. "Wonder if she sits around thinkin' up puns."
Kagura didn't have time to ponder that 'cause Tomo suddenly
said: "Actually, there IS something I'm good at."
"No there isn't! You're no good at sports, you're no good
at studying, you're nothin'!" Sakaki had once told Kagura
about the time Tomo had tried to compete with Sakaki in
sports, and Chiyo-chan in school. Tomo's well-intentioned
efforts had failed miserably, although Tomo did manage to
'stalemate' Chiyo-chan. Tomo don't give up!
"Well, my dad always says--Tomo, you're real good at
poundin' my back," Tomo replied.
"Uhh, good for you," Kagura said. "If that's true then why
don't you become one of those massage therapists that
pounds people's backs for a living?" Kagura had never met
one but she'd heard of them.
"Hey, don't make fun of me!" Tomo replied. "Besides, I'm
gonna join the ICPO!"
"Uhh, good for you," Kagura said again. She made a mental
note--yes another one--to get on the Internet during study
hall and find out what ICPO was.
Kagura knew ICPO was an English word but was still amused
by the fact that the letters ICPO (pronounced the Japanese
way) sounded like the Japanese words "Indigo Selfishness
Hopping" (Ai Shii Pyon).
"I am!" Tomo insisted.
"Like I said, good for you."
"I am! I really am! One of these days you'll be glad I'm an
ICPO officer when a bad guy harasses you and I kick his
butt! Then you'll be like, Hey Tomo, that was so awesome, I
can't believe I made fun of you in high school--"
"Whatever," said Kagura, and walked away.
"Wonder where Osaka is," Kagura thought. "She never ceases
to amuse me." Kagura grinned.
Kagura stopped at a nearby desk. Osaka was bein' herself
again. This time there was one of those Neco-Coneco dolls
lying on a desk. Osaka put her chin on the desk and tried
to look Neco (or was it Coneco?) in the eye.
"This oughta be good," Kagura thought. "Wonder what's goin'
through Osaka's mind right now?"
Osaka's goofy grin hid the most active imagination ever
unleashed upon this world and zero inhibitions about
unleashing it. Unfortunately, Osaka chose not to give her
opinion this time, merely grinning at the Neco-Coneco
plushie.
"Nee, Osaka, nani o shiteru ka?" (Hey, Osaka, what are you
doing?)
"Aa?" Osaka turned to Kagura with an amused/confused look
on her face.
"Tanen shiteta ka?" (Were you thinking about something
else?)
"Mochiron, aho, tanen no ma ni shitota na!" (Of course,
silly, I've been doing that for YEARS!)
"Damn, Osaka's quick," thought Kagura. She decided to throw
another curveball--
"Hontou ni?" (Really?) "No way she can come up with--"
"Hontou ni," Osaka replied, turning Neco-Coneco over to
show her answer.
"Huh?" Now Kagura was confused. "Osaka, did I just hear
standard Japanese come out of your mouth?"
"Iya, sora 'honma ni' tte ya." (Nah, that's 'honma ni'.)
"'Ya' tte? Kouten da zo!" (Did you say 'ya'? Much better!)
Sakaki, who was standing near Osaka, spoke up.
"'Hontou ni' tte wa mata 'sakasa' tte," offered Sakaki.
('Hontou ni' also means 'upside down'.)
(A/N: 'Sakasa' and 'sakasama' are far more common than
'hontou suru', which according to my dictionary is rare.)
"Ohhh...damn Sakaki, you're good!"
Sakaki flushed slightly, pleased by the attention from
Kagura.
Kagura's face showed open admiration.
"Nee, Osaka," Kagura said, "wanna come over and play video
games?"
"Well that was random," thought Sakaki.
"Is there a bread-eating video game?" asked Osaka.
Kagura sweatdropped. "Ahh, no, I don't think so--but I've
got some awesome racing games!"
"Aww, no bread...Ah well. Sure, I'll come over," Osaka
replied happily. "Where's your house?"
Kagura told her.
"Be there at 4, 'kay?"
"I will!"
Kagura noticed that Sakaki looked a little--sad, almost.
"Don't worry, Sakaki," Kagura said, "we can go jogging
tomorrow. And you WILL eat my dust for sure!" Kagura
flashed her trademark grin. Sakaki brightened.
The rest of the day passed without incident, unless you
count Tomo proudly recalling how she studied hard and made
it into the same high school as Yomi, or Osaka/Chiyo-chan's
unforgettable Manzai performance. (Nandeyanen!)
Just before 4 PM Kagura was in her room getting ready for
Osaka's arrival. The Western-style sofa-bed was slung back
in sofa mode, perfect for relaxing on. The cupholders in
the middle divider (which could be folded up) sported a
couple of Cokes, one in front of the other. Two video game
controllers sat on the floor, ready for action. The first
game was Mario Kart: Double Dash!--yeah, a "classic",
Kagura had to admit, but the random silliness would help to
break the ice.
4 PM came and went. At 4:15 Kagura thought "Where is that
girl? I hope she remembered to come today!"
Kagura decided to go outside and see if Osaka was wandering
up and down the street--Kagura had to admit, her house was
kind of tucked away, so she couldn't really blame Osaka
for--
"Heeyyy Kaaaguuraaa..." Osaka said in that spacy/cute voice
of hers as soon as Kagura opened the front door.
As soon as Kagura opened the front door, there was Osaka,
inspecting a caterpillar on Kagura's lawn.
Osaka immediately stood up.
"Kangaetota de." (I been thinkin'.)
"Sou ka?" ('Bout what?)
"Kemushi ni tsuite." ('Bout caterpillars.)
(kemushi hair-bug caterpillar)
"What about 'em?"
"Well, we call 'em hair-bugs...but tarantulas got hair too,
right? And they're bugs, so why don't we call THEM hair-
bugs? Aahhh, my head hurts...akan ya..."
"Mmm...that's a good point," Kagura admitted.
"Naa, Kagura," Osaka interrupted, "is it 4 PM yet?"
Kagura slapped her forehead. Osaka got the hint.
"Aaa! O-matase shiten na! Sunmahen!" (Ahh! I made you
wait! I'm sorry!)
"Aa, kamawanai," Kagura said. (Oh, it's fine.) "You and
your lovely accent come on inside."
Kagura stepped back and Osaka stepped inside. Osaka removed
her shoes and carefully laid them down in the entryway
after checking to make sure no unsuspecting insects would
be squished.
Satisfied that some innocent beetle would live another day,
Osaka followed Kagura into her kitchen.
"My parents are watching a rabu-rabu movie in their room,
so they won't bother us," Kagura said.
"Ohh," Osaka said innocently.
"Wanna snack?" Kagura asked. "I already put some Cokes in
my room."
"Nothin' spicy," Osaka said, and they both laughed.
Osaka settled on pocky. Kagura popped a few Pop Rocks and
grabbed some pocky to take to her room, which was down the
hall from the kitchen.
The two headed over to Kagura's room and flopped back on
the sofa-bed, one on each side of the Cokes.
"My Coke's the one in the front," Kagura stated casually.
"Better view of the TV, so my Coke can watch me kick your
butt."
"Ohh," Osaka said innocently.
"Say," said Kagura, "ever played this game before?"
"Yeah. Back in Osaka my sisters and I used to play this all
the time."
"Cool, so I don't have to explain the rules. Well then,
let's play!"
Kagura, silly, you could've started a conversation about
Osaka (the city) and gotten to know Osaka (the person)
better! Well, maybe later.
Osaka was Player 1. At the character selection screen she
click-clicked, happy with the result: Mario and chibi-Mario
were her team.
Kagura's cursor roamed for a while before she settled on
Wario (muahaha!) and Luigi.
They decided to play the Mushroom Cup. Halfway through the
Dry Dry Desert level, Kagura was in the lead (barely--Osaka
had apparently had more practice than she'd let on) and
threw back a banana peel. For some reason, Osaka drove
straight into it and threw herself into a skid, narrowly
avoiding the sandworms before she regained control of her
kart.
"I've always wanted to slip on a banana peel and fall on my
face," Osaka said. "Just once."
Kagura sweatdropped.
Thanks to Osaka's "taking one for the team" Kagura won the
race, and the cup (by a slim margin). Kagura didn't rub in
her victory like she would've with Sakaki, because she
didn't want to spoil the mood.
"Besides, not everybody's as competitive as I am," she
reminded herself.
"Well, that was fun," said Osaka. "Wanna play somethin'
else?"
"Yeah," said Kagura. "Say, what's your favorite game,
Osaka?"
"I like word games..."
"Crap, I'm no good at those," Kagura said.
"Even though I was lookin' pretty good back at school
today," she thought. "Never was the type for that before.
Maybe just bein' around Osaka makes it easier for me to
come up with those witty lines."
"Aww," said Osaka.
"Kamawanai," Kagura replied mildly. (Don't worry about it.)
"We could watch some Manzai on TV if ya wanna," Kagura
continued, reaching for the remote sitting on the divider
while looking towards the TV.
Osaka happened to reach for it too, also while looking
towards the TV.
Their hands met on the remote. Both twitched in surprise,
but neither one moved her hand.
"Aa..." was all Kagura could think of to say. The wordsmith
was silent too.
"Think of something," Kagura thought to herself. "Words.
Use words! Any word will do!"
"Ooops...sunmahen," Osaka said (Ooops...sorry) after
several seconds, withdrawing her hand.
THAT instantly broke the ice.
"Sunmahen?" asked Kagura, beginning to laugh. "Even the
master of words has nothing to say!" she teased.
"Master of words? Tomo says I'm the Master of the Yawn, but
that's about it..."
Kagura flopped back on the couch. "Who cares what Tomo
says? I'VE got something to say that she'll REALLY talk
about if she ever finds out about it!"
"Is this like my scary story?" Osaka asked. "She really had
something to say about that!"
Kagura laughed at the memory.
"One night," Osaka had said in her unforgettable accent,
"when I was alone in my room," she'd paused for effect, "I
smelled a fart that wasn't mine."
"Not really," said Kagura, chuckling, "but I do like the
way you manage to rattle Tomo."
"Really?"
"Yeah, really." Kagura was being sincere. "You know, Osaka,
you're pretty good with words, you know that?"
"Aa...thanks, Kagura."
"Hey, no problem."
Kagura took a deep breath. "Here it comes," she thought.
"Nee, Osaka," Kagura continued, "since you're so good with
words, I've got a few words for you."
A faint blush spread across Kagura's cheeks. She wasn't the
type to get embarrassed easily, but this was important--
this was something she'd been wanting to say for a while.
"Boku wa...Osaka-san ga suki da," Kagura finally said after
a little pause. (I...like you, Miss Osaka.)
Osaka said nothing but simply flushed.
"Sukiaitai ka?" (Wanna go out with me?)
"Did I make it sound casual like I wanted? I didn't say it
too fast, did I?" were the first things Kagura thought of.
"Why's she suddenly looking at me like that? What if she's
not interested in me like that? What if--"
"Ee," Osaka interrupted Kagura's thoughts, "sukiaitaa naa."
(Yeah, I wanna go out with you.) "Ima wa?" (How 'bout now?)
"Sure!" replied Kagura brightly, glad that she was finally
successful in her love life. "C'mon over on this side," she
said, grabbing the remote and her Coke and scooting over.
Osaka happily crossed over to Kagura's side of the sofa bed
and the two of them just hung out for hours, getting to
know each other, chatting, laughing.
It was almost 10:30 PM when Kagura finally bothered to look
at the clock.
"Crap! Sorry to keep you so late, Osaka! I'm sure you have
homework to do, and--"
"--Like we ever do our homework anyway," Osaka interrupted,
and they both laughed. "We're the Bonklers, remember?"
"You know you're not supposed to call US the Bonklers!"
"Really?" Osaka asked, like she didn't know. (By this point
Kagura knew she really did know but Osaka was just being
silly.)
"Doesn't matter," said Kagura. "Let's just copy off Tomo's
homework tomorrow. She IS our 'teammate' after all."
"Ee naa." (Sounds good.)
Kagura offered to walk Osaka home (since it was dark) but
Osaka politely declined.
"One step at a time," Kagura reminded herself.
The next morning before homeroom class, Osaka was kinda
tired (no surprise) and Kagura was tired (yes surprise).
"Why are you two so tired today?" Tomo--the ever-genki
girl--asked Kagura. Loudly. "Ohhhhhh, I know!" she went on.
"You went to Osaka's house and drank eleven cups of coffee
and stayed up AAALLLLLL night long, didn'tcha? Didn'tcha?
YoudidIknowit! Kyaaaaa!"
Tomo. Fever pitch. Hyper. Wildcat. Gotta love her. Tomo.
"That was YOU, Tomo," Yomi answered mildly. "And you were
at MY house. Loudly." Yomi sighed. "How the hell did I
get any sleep?"
"Yomi's just mad 'cause she couldn't have any coffee 'cause
I drank AALLLL the coffee in the house and I kinda borrowed
her CDs too and--"
"Hai, hai..." said Kagura tiredly. (Uh huh, uh huh...)
Tired or not, Kagura was in an especially good mood today,
considering yesterday. So was Osaka, but she'd already put
her face down for her morning nap.
"Why's Osaka always sleeping during class?" thought Kagura.
"She a night owl or something?"
Tomo rambled on and for once Kagura didn't yell at her to
shut up, just repeating "Hai, hai" every so often. Yomi,
seeing how Kagura was putting up with Tomo so well today,
also didn't tell Tomo to shut up. She'd heard it all and
more for the last 12 hours or so anyway.
Yukari, however, was not so kind. Entering the room in her
usual goofy/pissed/hard-to-tell mood, she slammed the door
open and dramatically threw down a pile of papers (her
usual entrance).
"TOMO SHUT THE HELL UP!" yelled Yukari, attempting to
control her (as much as she hated to admit it) favorite
student.
"Not gonna happen," Yomi spoke up. "She's waaayyy too far
gone for that..."
"Aaahhh! Tomo gone wild!" Tomo yelled happily.
"Grr! Tomo, if you're gonna be loud and hyper," shouted
Yukari, "then put that energy to good use!"
"Want me to sing?" Tomo asked hyperly. "I borrowed Yomi's
CDs last night and listened to them nineteen times and now
I know AALLL the words to AALLL the songs and if you want I
can--"
"NO!" Yukari threw a piece of chalk at Tomo. It hit Chiyo-
chan, but Yukari didn't care. She was already winding up
for another throw. "Get out of here Tomo!"
"Waaahhhh!" whined Tomo. Tomo don't give up!
"Get out of here," Yukari repeated, "and make faces at
Nyamo's class!"
"Yay!" Tomo bolted from the room, knocking over half a
dozen desks on her way out.
Two minutes later, Tomo bolted back INTO the room, this
time with a piece of chalk sticking out of her left
nostril.
"I guess Nyamo doesn't like it when you run into her
classroom and yell BEEDAA!" Tomo rambled with a big grin,
performing the "be-da!" gesture for emphasis.
"Idiot P.E. teachers," replied Yukari.
"STRONG idiot P.E. teachers," rambled Tomo, "so if you'll
excuse me Tomothegreat is gonna go and pants Kimura soooooo
JAAAA NEEEE!" Tomo took off running through the still-open
door.
"Run Tomo!" shouted Kagura.
"Not sure if Kaorin would want to see that," muttered Yomi,
knowing full well that Tomo would do it anyway.
"Doesn't matter to me, I'm through with Kaorin," Sakaki
thought silently, staring placidly out the window. Thanks
to Sakaki's Aura of Cool (tm), nobody else noticed that
thought. And within seconds, the thought passed, and
Sakaki's mind drifted back to cute things. Clouds shaped
like puppies...a Mont Blanc cake in a decorated bowl...
Chiyo-chan at a petting zoo...
That last image would probably be mind-melting-ly cute for
Sakaki.
Five minutes later... (and Tomo did NOT come back in the
room)
"AIIIIEEEEE!"
The high-pitched feminine scream ripped through the
building.
"There's only ONE girl who screams THAT high," stated Yomi
bluntly. We all know who that was.
"ALL RIGHT TOMO!" yelled Yukari, though nobody ever found
out whether Tomo actually heard that. "Geez, that Kimura's
such a CREEP..."
Yukari turned back to her class. "Now where were we?"
Tomo did not return for the rest of Yukari's class,
although they did hear running footsteps every now and
then.
At lunch that day, several students noticed Kimura's pants
hanging from a tree near a certain third-floor window.
Nobody really wanted to know how they got there.
Sakaki walked up to Kagura during lunch.
"Kagura," she asked, "can I talk to you? In the courtyard,
please."
"Ahh, sure," Kagura replied. She was still a little sleepy,
but she'd slept through science class (Osaka slept through
it too), so she felt better.
The two athletes walked over to the courtyard and sat under
a tree. Both decided to avoid what was rapidly becoming
known as the Kimura Tree.
Kagura began. "What's up, Sakaki?"
"Kagura," Sakaki began nervously, "you said yesterday we
were friends, not rivals, right?"
"What I meant was," Kagura replied, "you and I still
compete with each other, but we're friends no matter what.
We compete to have fun. But yeah, we're friends, So, what's
up?"
"I was...ah...wondering, if you'd like to be...a little
more than friends..."
Kagura's mouth dropped open. "Wow, Sakaki, after that time
you beat the crap outta Kaorin I thought you just didn't go
that way at all." Sakaki's face darkened at the mention of
Kaorin's name. "Whoa, sorry about that, Sakaki. Guess I
shouldn't mention her, huh?" Kagura scratched the back of
her head nervously.
"It's...fine, Kagura...ah, my question..."
"Oh yeah, your question." Kagura stifled a yawn. "Sorry,
Sakaki, I didn't get a whole lot of sleep last night. Think
it was like 4 hours or something."
"Anyway," Kagura continued, gazing into the distance, "I
gotta say, you're an awesome friend, Sakaki..."
Sakaki brightened.
"...and I'd like to keep it that way." Kagura turned to
Sakaki and tilted her face with concern. "I'm sorry,
Sakaki."
"It's OK," said Sakaki quietly.
"Look, it's nothing personal," said Kaorin quietly, "but I
already have someone I like."
"Sou." (I see.) Sakaki's face was a little sad, but she had
a LOT of self-control.
"I know you wouldn't ask this on your own 'cause you don't
like to pry...but, do ya wanna know who it is?"
Sakaki paused. "Do I really want to know?" she thought.
"Well, it'd be a lot better than letting my imagination
figure it out," she reasoned with herself.
"Dare?" (Who is it?)
"Osaka."
Sakaki grinned, surprised. "Her? Why?"
Kagura grinned, glad the tense moment was over. "Well, she
really makes me laugh, for one thing. Sometimes I get a
little too serious and I forget to just kick back and have
fun."
Suddenly Kaorin popped out of the woodwork. "Um, Sakaki-
san," Kaorin began, fast and nervous, "if Kagura really
said no then I'm still avail--"
Kaorin's spiel was cut off by something Kagura had NOT seen
before.
Sakaki turned her head...ever...so...slowly...to Kaorin.
Kaorin shut up.
Sakaki growled at Kaorin. Not a menacing growl, but a low,
threatening growl, the kind a tomcat gives when defending
its personal space. This was barely audible, in fact.
Kaorin took off running.
Sakaki snapped back to normal and turned to Kagura with a
little grin she allowed herself.
"Damn Sakaki that was good!" Kagura admired. "Where'd you
learn to do that?"
"Kamineko," Sakaki answered simply.
"Guess that biting cat's good for something," said Kagura.
Then, after a pause: "But, Sakaki...Kaorin's practically
terrified of you now. I get the feeling that's not exactly
what you had in mind when you snapped at her last week."
"I'd really rather not deal with Kaorin right now," Sakaki
said calmly. "Later...just...not right now. I'm still
upset."
Sakaki sighed.
"I'll probably end up letting the incident go, eventually,"
Sakaki admitted, "but that whole thing only happened last
week. I'm...not quite ready yet."
"It's OK," said Kagura, "just don't hang onto it forever."
She grinned reassuringly. Kagura mainly didn't want Sakaki
to be upset for much longer.
Sakaki smiled. "I won't."
Kaorin ran and ran, now positively frightened of Sakaki.
Kaorin ran and ran, and as she turned a corner she ran
smack into Kimura. Who, by the way, seemed perfectly
comfortable walking around in his striped boxers and didn't
seem to miss his pants at all.
"If Miss Sakaki won't go out with you," Kimura said, "you
know I'M always available." How does that guy talk through
a permanently open mouth?
Kimura cracked his neck anxiously.
"How did HE know about what just happened with Sakaki-san?"
thought Kaorin.
"NO! NEVER!" screamed Kaorin, and she took off running in a
different direction.
Meanwhile, Kagura wanted to take Sakaki's mind off the
rather embarrassing situation.
"So, Sakaki," she asked, "I've always wanted to know...how
come you like cats so much?"
(Final note: There you have it. The main pairing is Kagura/
Osaka. I do like Sakaki/Kagura almost as much as I like
Kagura/Osaka. Almost. So, how do you like the pairing?
Osaka entertains Kagura, and Kagura stands up for Osaka
when Tomo's being a pest. Let me know what you think!)